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How did you brahs get over your fears and start approaching girls (srs)
07-08-2016, 08:13 AM
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#61
- DevonHardy
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Just finished reppin all the good advice ITT.
Thanks once again brahs! Will reread when I get down again, but feels like I'm gonna make it.
Thanks once again brahs! Will reread when I get down again, but feels like I'm gonna make it.
♏ Deus. Rex. Sum. Veni, Vidi, Vici
The One.
B/S/D: 375 / 475 / 500lbs.
07-08-2016, 08:18 AM
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#62
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Originally Posted By DevonHardy⏩
Isn't age of consent in Georgia 16? You're good bro. lol.Been on NoFap, thought that would help. Nope.
The girls were pretty good looking, but I think one of them was ********. Maybe it's better I didn't approach
The girls were pretty good looking, but I think one of them was ********. Maybe it's better I didn't approach
07-08-2016, 08:24 AM
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#63
- berserkbladex
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OP, why do you look like the feels guy??
07-08-2016, 08:30 AM
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#64
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Originally Posted By DevonHardy⏩
Yeah women are followers. You have to lead them into bed, relationships, friendships, etc. There are some that will be aggressive and go after guys but they are the minority. Most are terrified of rejection and if you are aesthetic they are intimidated. They are human after all.An older guy gave me some advice basically saying girls mostly don't approach guys because they're too intimidated. It's up to guys to make the first move.
Even my uncle told me it looked like they wantedme to approach themlol
Even my uncle told me it looked like they wantedme to approach themlol
Other guys have touched on this point but it's important: It feels worse to pussy out of an approach then it does to go for it and strike out. In the latter case you feel good for having taken action and attempted to make something happen, sure it hurts a little that she didn't bite but fuk, at least youtried. It feels SO chitty to be around a girl you are really into but you don't talk to her/ask her out cause you freeze up.
I can't recall any times when I went for it and struck out, every cringy painful memory with women is when I had some interest from a girl I was into and I pussied out. It's that "what could've been" feeling that eats away at you years down the road.
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07-08-2016, 08:32 AM
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#65
- Train57
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Originally Posted By mrc19888⏩
what if I want to bang my sisterHonestly I talk to them like I talk to my sister. Playful, funny, and literally like I don't give a fuk. It's the easiest way to feel natural. Plus 90% of women can smell you desperate for wanting to bang them. Just talk to them like you would a sister it comes off much more genuine. Then at some point escalate to flirting once you've established them not feeling like you just want to bang.
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07-08-2016, 08:33 AM
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#66
07-08-2016, 08:36 AM
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#67
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Originally Posted By berserkbladex⏩
Ouch way to hit me in the feels brah. Like I didn't feel bad enoughOP, why do you look like the feels guy??
edit:
Das it mane
♏ Deus. Rex. Sum. Veni, Vidi, Vici
The One.
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07-08-2016, 08:45 AM
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#68
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Look up the TEDtalk how to have a better conversation by Celeste Headlee. You just need to practice, start easy and keep making it more challenging.
I used to be a pretty nervous (still am a little) when going up and talking to people I didn't know, but I started easy and constantly made it a little more challenging. I made it a goal to first hold eye contact with everyone I passed by and smile. Then I made it a goal to talk to someone I didn't know for at least 1 minute everyday (easy at Uni), whether it was a girl or a guy. Before I go talk to someone I tell myself things to make me more confident, which has helped a lot.
I cold approached several girls at a coffee shop after we made eye contact many times. If I can't think of anything situational I go with hi you look really familiar do I know you from somewhere. At bars I've went with you look like a good dance partner and then while everyone is grinding I teach them how to salsa/ballroom dance and they usually like it. There was a hbb at the gym and everything was full and she was doing squats and I said yolo and asked to work in and we ended up talking and exchanged numbers.
Every single person is different and has a unique and interesting story, go find it!
I used to be a pretty nervous (still am a little) when going up and talking to people I didn't know, but I started easy and constantly made it a little more challenging. I made it a goal to first hold eye contact with everyone I passed by and smile. Then I made it a goal to talk to someone I didn't know for at least 1 minute everyday (easy at Uni), whether it was a girl or a guy. Before I go talk to someone I tell myself things to make me more confident, which has helped a lot.
I cold approached several girls at a coffee shop after we made eye contact many times. If I can't think of anything situational I go with hi you look really familiar do I know you from somewhere. At bars I've went with you look like a good dance partner and then while everyone is grinding I teach them how to salsa/ballroom dance and they usually like it. There was a hbb at the gym and everything was full and she was doing squats and I said yolo and asked to work in and we ended up talking and exchanged numbers.
Every single person is different and has a unique and interesting story, go find it!
07-08-2016, 08:49 AM
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#69
07-08-2016, 08:50 AM
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#70
07-08-2016, 08:53 AM
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#71
- berserkbladex
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Originally Posted By DevonHardy⏩
ayyy lmao...das it mayne das it!Ouch way to hit me in the feels brah. Like I didn't feel bad enough
edit:
Das it mane
edit:
Das it mane
just be confident though in your own self, like it doesn't matter to you what they might say...talk naturally to them at first like you would with one of the boyos..minus all the irrelevant boyo talk...treat it like you have a million dollar deal that if you walked away from theres another billion million dollar deals out there nom sayin?
07-08-2016, 08:57 AM
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#72
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Ok Op, heres the deal (and its probably been reiterated in this thread 1000000x).
You just gotta try. More often than so, rejection will occur. Maybe the Girl has a BF, Maybe the Girl just isn't interested in you, maybe the girl just has other intentions, etc...Maybe the girl is indeed cruel and will make fun of you for trying. Whatever.You had the courage and the self confidence to approach, which honestly a ton of girls will find attractive.
The first few times are quite fearful. Perhaps have a good buddy with you behind your back, but yet still try. The more you try, and contiiously try, the quicker the fear will go away, and you will learn to simply just not care and try. Fear won't happen and you won't be scared.
Its like riding your bike for the first time, don't deny you probably were scared outta your mind. Now you ain't...
You just gotta try. More often than so, rejection will occur. Maybe the Girl has a BF, Maybe the Girl just isn't interested in you, maybe the girl just has other intentions, etc...Maybe the girl is indeed cruel and will make fun of you for trying. Whatever.You had the courage and the self confidence to approach, which honestly a ton of girls will find attractive.
The first few times are quite fearful. Perhaps have a good buddy with you behind your back, but yet still try. The more you try, and contiiously try, the quicker the fear will go away, and you will learn to simply just not care and try. Fear won't happen and you won't be scared.
Its like riding your bike for the first time, don't deny you probably were scared outta your mind. Now you ain't...
"Learn from Yesterday, Live for Today, Hope for Tomorrow"
07-08-2016, 08:58 AM
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#73
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Originally Posted By berserkbladex⏩
Thanks for the advice brah, but not gonna lie. The feel guy stuff made me feel ugly af cuzayyy lmao...das it mayne das it!
just be confident though in your own self, like it doesn't matter to you what they might say...talk naturally to them at first like you would with one of the boyos..minus all the irrelevant boyo talk...treat it like you have a million dollar deal that if you walked away from theres another billion million dollar deals out there nom sayin?
just be confident though in your own self, like it doesn't matter to you what they might say...talk naturally to them at first like you would with one of the boyos..minus all the irrelevant boyo talk...treat it like you have a million dollar deal that if you walked away from theres another billion million dollar deals out there nom sayin?
kinda srs
♏ Deus. Rex. Sum. Veni, Vidi, Vici
The One.
B/S/D: 375 / 475 / 500lbs.
07-08-2016, 09:02 AM
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#74
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Originally Posted By Berkush⏩
Really fukin solid advice brah, thanks. Also thanks for the heads up about the TEDtalk, will definitely watch.Look up the TEDtalk how to have a better conversation by Celeste Headlee. You just need to practice, start easy and keep making it more challenging.
I used to be a pretty nervous (still am a little) when going up and talking to people I didn't know, but I started easy and constantly made it a little more challenging. I made it a goal to first hold eye contact with everyone I passed by and smile. Then I made it a goal to talk to someone I didn't know for at least 1 minute everyday (easy at Uni), whether it was a girl or a guy. Before I go talk to someone I tell myself things to make me more confident, which has helped a lot.
I cold approached several girls at a coffee shop after we made eye contact many times. If I can't think of anything situational I go with hi you look really familiar do I know you from somewhere. At bars I've went with you look like a good dance partner and then while everyone is grinding I teach them how to salsa/ballroom dance and they usually like it. There was a hbb at the gym and everything was full and she was doing squats and I said yolo and asked to work in and we ended up talking and exchanged numbers.
Every single person is different and has a unique and interesting story, go find it!
I used to be a pretty nervous (still am a little) when going up and talking to people I didn't know, but I started easy and constantly made it a little more challenging. I made it a goal to first hold eye contact with everyone I passed by and smile. Then I made it a goal to talk to someone I didn't know for at least 1 minute everyday (easy at Uni), whether it was a girl or a guy. Before I go talk to someone I tell myself things to make me more confident, which has helped a lot.
I cold approached several girls at a coffee shop after we made eye contact many times. If I can't think of anything situational I go with hi you look really familiar do I know you from somewhere. At bars I've went with you look like a good dance partner and then while everyone is grinding I teach them how to salsa/ballroom dance and they usually like it. There was a hbb at the gym and everything was full and she was doing squats and I said yolo and asked to work in and we ended up talking and exchanged numbers.
Every single person is different and has a unique and interesting story, go find it!
Glad you made it!
Originally Posted By Codo⏩
Really liking the idea of desensitizing.. Might actually give it a shot, but from what I understand you should always go into the interaction with the best intentions not intenting on getting rejected. But fuk whatever it takesYou need 10 or so approaches where the goal is either simple, or to fail.
If you approach with the intent to fail 50 times, the fear of falling disappears
If you approach with the intent to fail 50 times, the fear of falling disappears
Originally Posted By Realityy⏩
That's sounds dope, but clubs and drinking aren't my scene, would feel awkward afdon't think I've ever cold approached. I meet girls at clubs/raves/through mutual friends
usually with lots of alcohol
usually with lots of alcohol
♏ Deus. Rex. Sum. Veni, Vidi, Vici
The One.
B/S/D: 375 / 475 / 500lbs.
07-08-2016, 09:04 AM
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#75
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Originally Posted By VmissileX⏩
Misc is fukin killin with all this awesome advice. Appreciate it maneOk Op, heres the deal (and its probably been reiterated in this thread 1000000x).
You just gotta try. More often than so, rejection will occur. Maybe the Girl has a BF, Maybe the Girl just isn't interested in you, maybe the girl just has other intentions, etc...Maybe the girl is indeed cruel and will make fun of you for trying. Whatever.You had the courage and the self confidence to approach, which honestly a ton of girls will find attractive.
The first few times are quite fearful. Perhaps have a good buddy with you behind your back, but yet still try. The more you try, and contiiously try, the quicker the fear will go away, and you will learn to simply just not care and try. Fear won't happen and you won't be scared.
Its like riding your bike for the first time, don't deny you probably were scared outta your mind. Now you ain't...
You just gotta try. More often than so, rejection will occur. Maybe the Girl has a BF, Maybe the Girl just isn't interested in you, maybe the girl just has other intentions, etc...Maybe the girl is indeed cruel and will make fun of you for trying. Whatever.You had the courage and the self confidence to approach, which honestly a ton of girls will find attractive.
The first few times are quite fearful. Perhaps have a good buddy with you behind your back, but yet still try. The more you try, and contiiously try, the quicker the fear will go away, and you will learn to simply just not care and try. Fear won't happen and you won't be scared.
Its like riding your bike for the first time, don't deny you probably were scared outta your mind. Now you ain't...
♏ Deus. Rex. Sum. Veni, Vidi, Vici
The One.
B/S/D: 375 / 475 / 500lbs.
07-08-2016, 09:07 AM
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#76
To be honest, OP, for me it was the internet in the early 2000's... I was in high school, pretty shy talking to girls IRL, but talking to them on AOL/AIM seemed easier and helped learn how to talk to them IRL. After that it moved from just talking to girls online to not being scared to strike up a conversation with random chicks when I see them. From there on it was just like "fukk it" the worst they can do is say no.
So the more you try, the easier it becomes.
Also don't forget eye contact...it's very important. Just don't be weird about it and try to stare them down.
So the more you try, the easier it becomes.
Also don't forget eye contact...it's very important. Just don't be weird about it and try to stare them down.
Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit softly.
07-08-2016, 09:20 AM
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#77
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If you really wanna jump into it, just go up to a few girls and ONLY say this:
"hey this might sound weird, but can I grab your number?"
or "hey this might sound weird, but you wanna go out for drinks this week?"
no small talk, no nothing, just that..
99/100 you'll get rejected, but you'll see what rejection feels like, and how it's not a big deal
after that, you'll start coming up with your own small talk (what's up, what you up to?, you live around here? you're sexy, what you got planned today/this weekend..etc." and take your approaches more seriously
I always like to do these as warmups so I deal with rejection early on, before I talk to these girls seriously.
It's pretty much like you're getting in the mindset that you're willing to lose these girls so it's not a big deal to you, you know what I mean?
Go get em
"hey this might sound weird, but can I grab your number?"
or "hey this might sound weird, but you wanna go out for drinks this week?"
no small talk, no nothing, just that..
99/100 you'll get rejected, but you'll see what rejection feels like, and how it's not a big deal
after that, you'll start coming up with your own small talk (what's up, what you up to?, you live around here? you're sexy, what you got planned today/this weekend..etc." and take your approaches more seriously
I always like to do these as warmups so I deal with rejection early on, before I talk to these girls seriously.
It's pretty much like you're getting in the mindset that you're willing to lose these girls so it's not a big deal to you, you know what I mean?
Go get em
07-08-2016, 09:21 AM
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#78
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If you naturally don't have the "fuk it" attitude, at least be confident in your ability to read people. Read up on some positive body language or signs of female attraction. Then when you receive that positive body language, believe it. There's always that voice of doubt in the back of your head that says, "maybe it was just a coincidence she was playing with her hair..." Fuk that voice, don't listen to it.
I have a thing for women who display really submissive body language. I don't know why, but I find it extremely attractive if a girl is constantly looking at me but scared to hold eye contact or seems nervous.
I have a thing for women who display really submissive body language. I don't know why, but I find it extremely attractive if a girl is constantly looking at me but scared to hold eye contact or seems nervous.
07-08-2016, 09:29 AM
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#79
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Well for one you have to fix your vocabulary.
I really hate the term "approaching" I hope you aren't out with friends and go "I'm going to do some approaching tonight." "I better go approach that 10/10 before I lose my nerve."
If you don't realize how rediculous that sounds then you should start there.
Now here is the secret that other PUA don't want YOU to know because THEY WILL GO OUT OF BUSINESS!!!
Hahaha
I really hate the term "approaching" I hope you aren't out with friends and go "I'm going to do some approaching tonight." "I better go approach that 10/10 before I lose my nerve."
If you don't realize how rediculous that sounds then you should start there.
Now here is the secret that other PUA don't want YOU to know because THEY WILL GO OUT OF BUSINESS!!!
Hahaha
07-08-2016, 09:30 AM
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#80
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Originally Posted By boredFA⏩
wut? too much time on reddit boyo. approach is not the same as chase/beg.men dont approach, they get chased or ldar
if you chase sloots and beg for them to shake your hand you put poosay on a pedestral and already lost
if you chase sloots and beg for them to shake your hand you put poosay on a pedestral and already lost
07-08-2016, 09:31 AM
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#81
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Originally Posted By Kleinnd⏩
this.99/100 you'll get rejected, but you'll see what rejection feels like, and how it's not a big deal
07-08-2016, 09:31 AM
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#82
07-08-2016, 09:32 AM
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#83
- DevonHardy
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Originally Posted By Jax05⏩
Definitely understand this. I avoided eye contact with those two HBBs because I don't feel confident in how I look.. Honestly, one thing I'm trying to do is get more swole and aesthetic to minimize rejections (if possible). I'm pretty sure that'll make me feel more confident in making eye contact.To be honest, OP, for me it was the internet in the early 2000's... I was in high school, pretty shy talking to girls IRL, but talking to them on AOL/AIM seemed easier and helped learn how to talk to them IRL. After that it moved from just talking to girls online to not being scared to strike up a conversation with random chicks when I see them. From there on it was just like "fukk it" the worst they can do is say no.
So the more you try, the easier it becomes.
Also don't forget eye contact...it's very important.Just don't be weird about it and try to stare them down.
So the more you try, the easier it becomes.
Also don't forget eye contact...it's very important.Just don't be weird about it and try to stare them down.
Originally Posted By Kleinnd⏩
Thanks fam and yeah I get what you mean. Definitely, trying to avoid oneitis and the desperate vibe.If you really wanna jump into it, just go up to a few girls and ONLY say this:
"hey this might sound weird, but can I grab your number?"
or "hey this might sound weird, but you wanna go out for drinks this week?"
no small talk, no nothing, just that..
99/100 you'll get rejected, but you'll see what rejection feels like, and how it's not a big deal
after that, you'll start coming up with your own small talk (what's up, what you up to?, you live around here? you're sexy, what you got planned today/this weekend..etc." and take your approaches more seriously
I always like to do these as warmups so I deal with rejection early on, before I talk to these girls seriously.
It's pretty much like you're getting in the mindset that you're willing to lose these girls so it's not a big deal to you, you know what I mean?
Go get em
"hey this might sound weird, but can I grab your number?"
or "hey this might sound weird, but you wanna go out for drinks this week?"
no small talk, no nothing, just that..
99/100 you'll get rejected, but you'll see what rejection feels like, and how it's not a big deal
after that, you'll start coming up with your own small talk (what's up, what you up to?, you live around here? you're sexy, what you got planned today/this weekend..etc." and take your approaches more seriously
I always like to do these as warmups so I deal with rejection early on, before I talk to these girls seriously.
It's pretty much like you're getting in the mindset that you're willing to lose these girls so it's not a big deal to you, you know what I mean?
Go get em
♏ Deus. Rex. Sum. Veni, Vidi, Vici
The One.
B/S/D: 375 / 475 / 500lbs.
07-08-2016, 10:18 AM
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#84
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In my twenties I just forced myself to do it. I struck out a lot but got more comfortable with it and eventually did okay asking girls out. Something happened in the last few years where I'm getting rejected pretty regularly and/or no one finds me interesting or attractive and now I'm back in my hole, afraid to engage anyone.
"Above all, we must realize that no arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. It is a weapon our adversaries in today's world do not have."--Ronald Reagan
Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.--Arnold Schwarzenegger
07-08-2016, 10:29 AM
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#85
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I dunno how many times you *******s have to ask this question. There is no how. That's what "Just do it means". Don't think about it and try to figure out how to do it, you just go in.
Everyone knows females have the power to pick their guy, so all you're doing is providing an opportunity for her to let you hit it. It rarely really matters what you say. By the time you've talked to her for 30 seconds she'll know if she wants to fk you, date you, or say bye bye. You just need to sack up and stop being such a little ******* about being rejected. Fk your silly little emotions bro, just go talk to them and eventually one will be open to your approach.
Everyone knows females have the power to pick their guy, so all you're doing is providing an opportunity for her to let you hit it. It rarely really matters what you say. By the time you've talked to her for 30 seconds she'll know if she wants to fk you, date you, or say bye bye. You just need to sack up and stop being such a little ******* about being rejected. Fk your silly little emotions bro, just go talk to them and eventually one will be open to your approach.
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Rustle me = get repped
07-08-2016, 10:46 AM
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#86
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Alcohol.
07-08-2016, 11:41 AM
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#87
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Lemme tell you a story op. The only time I ever did a cold approach was at a store next to the building where I worked. There was this cute girl working there whom I saw a few times when buying chit but we never exchanged words. So this one time I walked up to her and straight up asked if she wants to go grab a coffee sometime. I felt pretty good but the moment I started speaking - knees weak, arms spaghetti. I legit heard my voice breaking down. She gave me her number and we had that coffee few days later. I asked her how she felt about that whole situation and she said that it was me being nervous that made her go out with me because usually, it's some creep that spits corny chit and I acted like a normal human being instead.
So yeah, if my short lived success is anything to go by, don't go for tinder pickup lines. While they work on tinder, they don't irl unless you're good looking (I'm not). Either say something about the environment (store, park, wherever you are atm) or just straight up ask if you saw the girl before.
Btw, I also found out soon after that she had a boyfriend this entire time. To this day my mind is fukd when I think about this situation.
So yeah, if my short lived success is anything to go by, don't go for tinder pickup lines. While they work on tinder, they don't irl unless you're good looking (I'm not). Either say something about the environment (store, park, wherever you are atm) or just straight up ask if you saw the girl before.
Btw, I also found out soon after that she had a boyfriend this entire time. To this day my mind is fukd when I think about this situation.
Ragnar Lothbrok crew
07-08-2016, 12:15 PM
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#88
- notoriousthug
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- notoriousthug
- Son of Zyzz
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Originally Posted By boredFA⏩
don't listen to this guy.men dont approach, they get chased or ldar
if you chase sloots and beg for them to shake your hand you put poosay on a pedestral and already lost
if you chase sloots and beg for them to shake your hand you put poosay on a pedestral and already lost
a woman with 0 interest is not going to chase u. why would she ? this would only if there was initial attraction and this is a big if, u still have to approach.
approach. run game as usual(assuming u game). peek her interest in u then lay back and let her chase. carrot and stick method boyos aka push pull method.
07-08-2016, 12:24 PM
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#89
- FearThisjake
- Registered User
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- FearThisjake
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Originally Posted By Workout4ever⏩
It's true though, it's long been considered "social lubricant".lol'ed my first reply to this thread was gonna be 'alcohol'
Idk op, Social media has made it easy for me to gain confidence/smash women/be good at talking to them but as far as cold approaching it has done nothing to improve that aspect of mine... Was thinking this could be cause i'm naturally introverted or just don't have too much experience doing it
Idk op, Social media has made it easy for me to gain confidence/smash women/be good at talking to them but as far as cold approaching it has done nothing to improve that aspect of mine... Was thinking this could be cause i'm naturally introverted or just don't have too much experience doing it
onion crew
07-08-2016, 12:28 PM
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#90
- DevonHardy
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- DevonHardy
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Originally Posted By notoriousthug⏩
fuark I really like the idea of push / pulldon't listen to this guy.
a woman with 0 interest is not going to chase u. why would she ? this would only if there was initial attraction and this is a big if, u still have to approach.
approach. run game as usual(assuming u game). peek her interest in u then lay back and let her chase. carrot and stick method boyos aka push pull method.
a woman with 0 interest is not going to chase u. why would she ? this would only if there was initial attraction and this is a big if, u still have to approach.
approach. run game as usual(assuming u game). peek her interest in u then lay back and let her chase. carrot and stick method boyos aka push pull method.
any examples?
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