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Forum ยป Brah's wedding is costing me $1500 (wat do?)
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Thread: Brah's wedding is costing me $1500 (wat do?)

post 1453528583 07-19-2016, 04:30 PM
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#31
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An easy out would be say work is keeping you, send them a generous $200 gc as a wedding gift and say you won't be able to make it. You'll come out ahead without being a douche and from what it sounds like, might be the best gift they receive.
post 1453528703 07-19-2016, 04:31 PM
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Just go NC and chalk it up as a friend lost. Dead srs
post 1453528873 07-19-2016, 04:32 PM
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weddings should be that cost exclusive

tell him straight up how much it's costing you and why you can only do x,y,z
post 1453528963 07-19-2016, 04:34 PM
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#34
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Why do Americans get married on weekdays?
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post 1453529113 07-19-2016, 04:34 PM
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#35
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Originally Posted By MiscDaddy⏩
Why do Americans get married on weekdays?
I'm american and I've never heard of this. Op's friend is just a try-hard cuckold.
post 1453529553 07-19-2016, 04:38 PM
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Originally Posted By nick753⏩
I'm american and I've never heard of this. Op's friend is just a try-hard cuckold.
My wife used to watch those stupid wedding reality TV shows and Americans were doing it all the time. It makes no sense to me.
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post 1453529953 07-19-2016, 04:41 PM
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Originally Posted By MiscDaddy⏩
Why do Americans get married on weekdays?
it's cheaper for the bride and groom to get married in the week, rather than the weekend. so they are really trying to big up the date, but spread the cost over the guests.
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srs
post 1453530313 07-19-2016, 04:44 PM
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Originally Posted By AWillis⏩
it's cheaper for the bride and groom to get married in the week, rather than the weekend. so they are really trying to big up the date, but spread the cost over the guests.
that's not fair. I never liked extravagance either

save the money for your guy's future/sustenance instead of a one day splurge...

not talking to you op
post 1453530743 07-19-2016, 04:47 PM
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#39
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say work came up
Weight Loss: Go carnivore or keto/low carb. Create calorie deficit. Buy packaged healthy meals if needed. Meat is good and heals, stop being lied to.

Youtube Dr. Shawn Baker to change your life today.
post 1453530863 07-19-2016, 04:48 PM
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not fair at all.

it's this sort of BS that would just make me tell them i'm not going. you have to wonder how much the wedding will actually cost to the bride and groom. probably fk all after the guests have paid for it all.
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srs
post 1453531243 07-19-2016, 04:51 PM
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10 bucks bish is behind this
Weight Loss: Go carnivore or keto/low carb. Create calorie deficit. Buy packaged healthy meals if needed. Meat is good and heals, stop being lied to.

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post 1453531533 07-19-2016, 04:53 PM
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Too young to even start thinking about marriage, but that sounds fukin retarded mate.

No way in hell I'd ask my friends to pay for chit unless they insist. Don't you have a suit/tux? Why would you need to rent one for $200...
post 1453531713 07-19-2016, 04:54 PM
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#43
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Originally Posted By veggie530⏩
My long time buddy of well over 10 years is getting married for the 2nd time. He lives a few states away and wants me to fly in and be a groomsman. I figured why not? I want to be there for my bud. He gave me ~3 months notice.

After I've committed, he informs me:

a.) they are renting cabins where they are getting married, the expected contribution is $500 per couple for the three nights (I was only staying for 2)
b.) the tux cost is going to be about $200
c.) he wants me to take time off work and fly in on a Monday when he's getting married Thursday
d.) Oh by the way, one of the groomsmen should call and reserve the cabins with their credit card. One of them is unemployed, one works at BK, one works at Kohls or something (I make better money)

So in addition to spending $500 on flying me and my wife in and $200 for renting a car, he wants me to spend an additional $600 and spend vacation time to go.

So by the time I pay someone to come and feed/water my pets and watch the house and me and my wife eat something other than $1 Mickey D's and we buy them a wedding gift, I'm looking at like $1500 for my buddy to get married.

Wtf do I do? I can afford it, technically, but doesn't this seem outrageous?! When I told him that I wasn't using vacation and was only coming for x2 days he got offended.
Welcome to every friend's weddings over the last 5 years.

BRB plane ticket
BRB time off work (paid but comes out of my PTO I can cash in)
BRB dog sitter
BRB food/drinks (often as much as plane ticket)
BRB gift

Come home thinking got damn I just spent $1800 to visit the city I left when I could have had a week in Mexico for my girl and I.

Yea I pretty much don't do weddings anymore. My friend gets married in Vegas in 2 months and even that cost me upward $1000 so far.
post 1453531723 07-19-2016, 04:54 PM
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#44
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Originally Posted By Ying2012⏩
Just curious is it common in usa for the guests etc to chip in on the wedding? Its oDd if yiu ask me.
Nope not at all. The only paying party should be the parents, groom/bride, and whoever else offered.

However if you are not part of the wedding party (groomsmen and bridesmaids), then you are responsible for your own lodging and plane tickets.
post 1453531863 07-19-2016, 04:55 PM
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He should cover some if not all expenses for sure.

I am getting married in my backyard next month...cheap & get to hang out with the bros & drink....weddings should be fun IMO not expensive.
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post 1453532123 07-19-2016, 04:57 PM
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#46
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Wtf at weddings costing so much for the guests. If you include the guests' Costs and the wedding itself the amount of $ going into it is astronomical.

And I f*cking hate going to weddings where everything is over the top (matching chair covers, big flower arrangements and decorations.)... Except no open bar and drinks cost 6-8 dollars per. No one gives a f*ck whether there's f*cking bowties tied around the chairs. When this happens No one drinks cause they've already spent so much to get there and on a gift. It makes the wedding that much more painful to sit through.
post 1453532133 07-19-2016, 04:57 PM
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#47
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Originally Posted By 1quick1⏩
Welcome to every friend's weddings over the last 5 years.

BRB plane ticket
BRB time off work (paid but comes out of my PTO I can cash in)
BRB dog sitter
BRB food/drinks (often as much as plane ticket)
BRB gift

Come home thinking got damn I just spent $1800 to visit the city I left when I could have had a week in Mexico for my girl and I.

Yea I pretty much don't do weddings anymore. My friend gets married in Vegas in 2 months and even that cost me upward $1000 so far.
Were you even part of the wedding party? If not then stop crying and fist yourself.
post 1453532263 07-19-2016, 04:58 PM
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#48
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Originally Posted By MrDeafMuscle⏩
Were you even part of the wedding party? If not then stop crying and fist yourself.
I'm not crying. I have enough money to afford it.

And yes for many but not all.
post 1453532493 07-19-2016, 04:59 PM
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Originally Posted By gainzcheckingin⏩
Too young to even start thinking about marriage, but that sounds fukin retarded mate.

No way in hell I'd ask my friends to pay for chit unless they insist. Don't you have a suit/tux? Why would you need to rent one for $200...
who the fuk owns a tuxedo? plus I'm sure all the groomsmen are going to rent matching tuxedos from the same place, not just wear whatever is in their closet lmao.
post 1453532753 07-19-2016, 05:01 PM
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Originally Posted By DueceWaters⏩
who the fuk owns a tuxedo? plus I'm sure all the groomsmen are going to rent matching tuxedos from the same place, not just wear whatever is in their closet lmao.
Okay true, but why not just wear a normal suit? Literally looks exactly the same besides the velvet lapels. For $200 might as well just buy a decent suit and put it in your closet so you can go to all your ******* friends' weddings
post 1453532893 07-19-2016, 05:02 PM
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Originally Posted By MiscDaddy⏩
Why do Americans get married on weekdays?
It's cheaper
post 1453533253 07-19-2016, 05:05 PM
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He should have given you all the details when he signed you up. That seems like common courtesy, but some people are just fukking oblivious and/or cheapskates trying to keep their own costs down.

When this happens, you just lose a little bit of respect for these people, even if they are your mates



Similar story:

Went to a wedding last year in Bali - quite a good friend of mine
Brb 3 weeks before we leave, bride and groom asked everyone to bring French Champagne because "you can't get it in Bali" (yes you fukking can - they are just mega cheap)
Brb upon check in, told the minimum stay was 5 nights (news to me!)
Brb fukk your mother, Wayan - I'm only staying 2 nights
Brb Wayan says, but bride and groom guarantee us full hotel all week

TFW you realise bride and groom subsidising their own stay by negotiating hotel full of guests for hotel manager

Now when I bump into them, I cringe a little bit erry tim
worse things happen at sea
post 1453533563 07-19-2016, 05:07 PM
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just tell him straight up work won't let you take leave off for that long, cant argue with work
post 1453533663 07-19-2016, 05:08 PM
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tell him you just became gay recently and you don't agree with man/woman marriage
post 1453533803 07-19-2016, 05:09 PM
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Originally Posted By veggie530⏩
When I told him that I wasn't using vacation and was only coming for x2 days he got offended.
He can get offended all he wants.
Originally Posted By veggie530⏩
d.) Oh by the way, one of the groomsmen should call and reserve the cabins with their credit card.
F ck this chit. Is he expecting you to put all their cabin costs on your card? DO NOT DO THIS. You will be hounding strangers to pay you back and good luck collecting. Totally ridiculous. Either go for the 2 days and skip the cabin business or don't go at all if he's not understanding.
post 1453533833 07-19-2016, 05:10 PM
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Originally Posted By gainzcheckingin⏩
Okay true, but why not just wear a normal suit? Literally looks exactly the same besides the velvet lapels. For $200 might as well just buy a decent suit and put it in your closet so you can go to all your ******* friends' weddings
b/c you are going to look like a moron when all the groomsmen have on matching grey tux's and you are sporting a navy blue suit. if you are just going to the wedding and not actually in it then of course you just wear a suit/whatever.


and op do you know the other groomsmen at all? if so I'd talk to them and see what their thoughts are. there is a good chance some of them will back out. and as someone else said absolutely do NOT put the cabin on your credit card lmao.

I'd honestly drop this guy as a friend. he's not just being inconsiderate he sounds like he's trying to outright take advantage of people.
post 1453533973 07-19-2016, 05:11 PM
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Originally Posted By KhumatMibra⏩
if he wants you to be the groomsman then shouldn't he be the one to cover the costs, seeing as its his wedding?

he should pay for the tux/cabin/plane ticket. seems pretty fuked up, this is his responsibility. if he cant afford it, then he shouldn't be having a wedding.
This. It is HIS wedding. Not yours
post 1453534393 07-19-2016, 05:14 PM
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Originally Posted By DueceWaters⏩
b/c you are going to look like a moron when all the groomsmen have on matching grey tux's and you are sporting a navy blue suit. if you are just going to the wedding and not actually in it then of course you just wear a suit/whatever.
Well can't you just wear a grey or black suit? Why do all the groomsmen have to be matching? Legit am puzzled that people actually care about this
post 1453534533 07-19-2016, 05:14 PM
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#59
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Originally Posted By veggie530⏩
My long time buddy of well over 10 years is getting married for the 2nd time. He lives a few states away and wants me to fly in and be a groomsman. I figured why not? I want to be there for my bud. He gave me ~3 months notice.

After I've committed, he informs me:

a.) they are renting cabins where they are getting married, the expected contribution is $500 per couple for the three nights (I was only staying for 2)
b.) the tux cost is going to be about $200
c.) he wants me to take time off work and fly in on a Monday when he's getting married Thursday
d.) Oh by the way, one of the groomsmen should call and reserve the cabins with their credit card. One of them is unemployed, one works at BK, one works at Kohls or something (I make better money)

So in addition to spending $500 on flying me and my wife in and $200 for renting a car, he wants me to spend an additional $600 and spend vacation time to go.

So by the time I pay someone to come and feed/water my pets and watch the house and me and my wife eat something other than $1 Mickey D's and we buy them a wedding gift, I'm looking at like $1500 for my buddy to get married.

Wtf do I do? I can afford it, technically, but doesn't this seem outrageous?! When I told him that I wasn't using vacation and was only coming for x2 days he got offended.
For my best friend from college's wedding and bachelor party in Chicago/Madison (June/Feb respectively), I spent:

$700 for two plane tickets.
$100 for ski rental
~300 for meals
$75 car rental (for one trip)
$200 tux rental
$300 for hotel stays.

After spending $1600 on attending these events, where I saw him on a Friday Night, Saturday, Saturday night, and Sunday morning only, he was more than understanding that I wasn't going to be buying him a wedding present.
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What part of "Shall Not Be Infringed" are you having trouble with?

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post 1453534713 07-19-2016, 05:17 PM
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Originally Posted By gainzcheckingin⏩
Well can't you just wear a grey or black suit? Why do all the groomsmen have to be matching? Legit am puzzled that people actually care about this
idk m8, just how it is at a 'formal' wedding. i mean no one really gives a chit about any of it besides the bride and her friends but you are going to stick out like a sore thumb if you showed up in your own suit when the rest of the grooms party is dressed in matching tux's and shoes.
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