Misc with daughters (advice needed) (reps)
07-26-2016, 02:37 PM
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#91
- NotBigEnough206
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Its hard brah, very hard to raise a girl. Especially once she starts going to school.
Man girls can be such evil little pieces of chit.
They start forming clicks, start bad mouthing each other to each other.
Childish bs but it hits them hard, they will come home crying at 7 or 8 years old, this girl was mean or that girl was mean etc etc.
This is when you have to be level headed and talk to her, be her friend, listen to her, spend as much time as you can with her.
Show her and teach her as much as you can about people, life and how people are.
I recently told mine you see all these girls with iphones in 6th or 7th grade, booty shorts and all that.
And then you see the academic ones, with great grades, dressing modestly.
The truth is many of those will end up as strippers and working as waitresses, fast food joints, they are popular now, but 20 years from now you will see what I meant.
you choose which one you want to be, the cool girl now with iphone and booty shorts in 6th grade. Or be the smart one, working hard and studying hard.
Each thing you do and act, will have consequences for the rest of your life.
She just sat there silently looking at me.
Then I started naming some of her moms friends who are now single moms and waitresses.
Guess honey which girls they were in grade school.
She did not have guess.
Man girls can be such evil little pieces of chit.
They start forming clicks, start bad mouthing each other to each other.
Childish bs but it hits them hard, they will come home crying at 7 or 8 years old, this girl was mean or that girl was mean etc etc.
This is when you have to be level headed and talk to her, be her friend, listen to her, spend as much time as you can with her.
Show her and teach her as much as you can about people, life and how people are.
I recently told mine you see all these girls with iphones in 6th or 7th grade, booty shorts and all that.
And then you see the academic ones, with great grades, dressing modestly.
The truth is many of those will end up as strippers and working as waitresses, fast food joints, they are popular now, but 20 years from now you will see what I meant.
you choose which one you want to be, the cool girl now with iphone and booty shorts in 6th grade. Or be the smart one, working hard and studying hard.
Each thing you do and act, will have consequences for the rest of your life.
She just sat there silently looking at me.
Then I started naming some of her moms friends who are now single moms and waitresses.
Guess honey which girls they were in grade school.
She did not have guess.
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Its not important what they say behind my back, what is Important is whether they stop talking and look down when I turn around.
07-26-2016, 02:43 PM
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#92
- Chakadap
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Keep a close eye on who her friends are from 5th grade and on. That is when friends start getting really influential.
in my school (a catholic school even) this girl lost her virginity the summer after 6th grade to a kid from another school the same age. Her and her friends had always been the "cool kids" ie douchebags. By 7th grade they were all drinking most weekends, and by 8th grade one of the guys was forced to go to AA by police because he got caught underage drinking. Several friends of mine were drinking and smoking weed in 8th grade. My close friends -- my best friends at the time and still great friends of mine today -- never did, however. I knew I didn't want to get caught up in the drinking and smoking game, so I never let myself get too close to the arena of peer pressure.
All of the kids that were known as dbags by 5th grade ended up egging each other on year after year, and of course had a riot in high school with parties and sex, but they all either went to community college and eventually never got a meaningful degree or enlisted in the military out of high school or worked with daddy in landscaping out of high school.
That girl that lost her virginity at 12 got her cosmetology license and is proud of her job as a worker at the Hair Cuttery.
in my school (a catholic school even) this girl lost her virginity the summer after 6th grade to a kid from another school the same age. Her and her friends had always been the "cool kids" ie douchebags. By 7th grade they were all drinking most weekends, and by 8th grade one of the guys was forced to go to AA by police because he got caught underage drinking. Several friends of mine were drinking and smoking weed in 8th grade. My close friends -- my best friends at the time and still great friends of mine today -- never did, however. I knew I didn't want to get caught up in the drinking and smoking game, so I never let myself get too close to the arena of peer pressure.
All of the kids that were known as dbags by 5th grade ended up egging each other on year after year, and of course had a riot in high school with parties and sex, but they all either went to community college and eventually never got a meaningful degree or enlisted in the military out of high school or worked with daddy in landscaping out of high school.
That girl that lost her virginity at 12 got her cosmetology license and is proud of her job as a worker at the Hair Cuttery.
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07-26-2016, 02:53 PM
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#93
- Cleveland33
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Originally Posted By MissHolly⏩
Not bashing you, because I understood the point of your post. But I wonder if that is where so many girls seem to stray so far compared to boys.I've already told my 6 yr old daughter that she's living with mommy forever and she's not dating til she's 40. Also told my husband it's his job to keep her off the pole.
Seriously, it's all about having a trusting relationship with her, like others have said. I've already been trying to be more of the type of parent that my kids can talk to aboutanything.
Seriously, it's all about having a trusting relationship with her, like others have said. I've already been trying to be more of the type of parent that my kids can talk to aboutanything.
I think a lot of parents seem to let boys figure things out while they are over protective of their girls - and I am a firm believer that there is a sweet spot of protecting kids - too much AND too little are equally counter productive.
07-26-2016, 03:02 PM
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#94
- MissHolly
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Originally Posted By Cleveland33⏩
Hehe, yeah, I tell her these things and I wish I could follow through and keep her with me forever. She tells me that one day she will have a husband and babies and that I will still be important to her. My 7 yr old son told me one day that he can't live next door to me when he moves out on his own, but that he could live close by. This discussion was never brought up by me, he just came out with it one day. I think my kids are on a well-adjusted track already.Not bashing you, because I understood the point of your post. But I wonder if that is where so many girls seem to stray so far compared to boys.
I think a lot of parents seem to let boys figure things out while they are over protective of their girls - and I am a firm believer that there is a sweet spot of protecting kids - too much AND too little are equally counter productive.
I think a lot of parents seem to let boys figure things out while they are over protective of their girls - and I am a firm believer that there is a sweet spot of protecting kids - too much AND too little are equally counter productive.
But yes, there is certainly a fine line between over protective and under protective. Parenting is hard.
07-26-2016, 03:06 PM
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#95
- NotBigEnough206
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Originally Posted By MissHolly⏩
Its all fun and games until they say I am moving out.Hehe, yeah, I tell her these things and I wish I could follow through and keep her with me forever. She tells me that one day she will have a husband and babies and that I will still be important to her. My 7 yr old son told me one day that he can't live next door to me when he moves out on his own, but that he could live close by. This discussion was never brought up by me, he just came out with it one day. I think my kids are on a well-adjusted track already.
But yes, there is certainly a fine line between over protective and under protective. Parenting is hard.
But yes, there is certainly a fine line between over protective and under protective. Parenting is hard.
My 8 year old boy said that once, so I decided to help him pack.
LOL
He wont do that again.
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Its not important what they say behind my back, what is Important is whether they stop talking and look down when I turn around.
07-26-2016, 03:16 PM
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#96
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Originally Posted By berserkbladex⏩
1. Establish/extend heritageJust found out we are having a daughter boyos...is my tour over? Give me wisdom misc, enlighten me!
2. Preach tradition/values
3. No sports/rap/black friends
07-26-2016, 03:21 PM
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#97
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Honestly they all touch their toes at some point. Just come to grips with it now and it will be easy.
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07-26-2016, 03:24 PM
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#98
07-26-2016, 03:47 PM
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#99
- pectoralbro
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wouldnt wish this on my worst enemies.
sorry brah
sorry brah
07-27-2016, 05:50 AM
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#100
- berserkbladex
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Originally Posted By NotBigEnough206⏩
Thanks man, I think that is a good approach to some situations. I don't want to be afraid to talk to them like adults earlier on and show them unicorns and rainbows.Its hard brah, very hard to raise a girl. Especially once she starts going to school.
Man girls can be such evil little pieces of chit.
They start forming clicks, start bad mouthing each other to each other.
Childish bs but it hits them hard, they will come home crying at 7 or 8 years old, this girl was mean or that girl was mean etc etc.
This is when you have to be level headed and talk to her, be her friend, listen to her, spend as much time as you can with her.
Show her and teach her as much as you can about people, life and how people are.
I recently told mine you see all these girls with iphones in 6th or 7th grade, booty shorts and all that.
And then you see the academic ones, with great grades, dressing modestly.
The truth is many of those will end up as strippers and working as waitresses, fast food joints, they are popular now, but 20 years from now you will see what I meant.
you choose which one you want to be, the cool girl now with iphone and booty shorts in 6th grade. Or be the smart one, working hard and studying hard.
Each thing you do and act, will have consequences for the rest of your life.
She just sat there silently looking at me.
Then I started naming some of her moms friends who are now single moms and waitresses.
Guess honey which girls they were in grade school.
She did not have guess.
Man girls can be such evil little pieces of chit.
They start forming clicks, start bad mouthing each other to each other.
Childish bs but it hits them hard, they will come home crying at 7 or 8 years old, this girl was mean or that girl was mean etc etc.
This is when you have to be level headed and talk to her, be her friend, listen to her, spend as much time as you can with her.
Show her and teach her as much as you can about people, life and how people are.
I recently told mine you see all these girls with iphones in 6th or 7th grade, booty shorts and all that.
And then you see the academic ones, with great grades, dressing modestly.
The truth is many of those will end up as strippers and working as waitresses, fast food joints, they are popular now, but 20 years from now you will see what I meant.
you choose which one you want to be, the cool girl now with iphone and booty shorts in 6th grade. Or be the smart one, working hard and studying hard.
Each thing you do and act, will have consequences for the rest of your life.
She just sat there silently looking at me.
Then I started naming some of her moms friends who are now single moms and waitresses.
Guess honey which girls they were in grade school.
She did not have guess.
07-27-2016, 05:51 AM
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#101
- berserkbladex
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Originally Posted By iwantivanka⏩
Number 3 agree about explicit rap but why the other 2?1. Establish/extend heritage
2. Preach tradition/values
3. No sports/rap/black friends
2. Preach tradition/values
3. No sports/rap/black friends
07-27-2016, 05:52 AM
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#102
- berserkbladex
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Originally Posted By pectoralbro⏩
does that make me your best friend?wouldnt wish this on my worst enemies.
sorry brah
sorry brah
07-27-2016, 05:54 AM
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#103
- berserkbladex
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Originally Posted By p7nk⏩
Mother is good, but then again this is the misc...Hope the mother isn't a sloot and you should be alright
07-27-2016, 05:54 AM
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#104
- berserkbladex
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Originally Posted By MissHolly⏩
Yep, trying to get them to talk to me about anything and not be afraid like I was with my parents.I've already told my 6 yr old daughter that she's living with mommy forever and she's not dating til she's 40. Also told my husband it's his job to keep her off the pole.
Seriously, it's all about having a trusting relationship with her, like others have said. I've already been trying to be more of the type of parent that my kids can talk to aboutanything.
Seriously, it's all about having a trusting relationship with her, like others have said. I've already been trying to be more of the type of parent that my kids can talk to aboutanything.
07-27-2016, 06:02 AM
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#105
07-27-2016, 06:11 AM
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#106
- berserkbladex
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Originally Posted By Isabeli⏩
yeah, thats why i need input from women on why they became distant and how to avoid it lolTreating her like she is something to be feared...based on what she may do further down the line...is exactly why many girls start to feel distant from their fathers.
07-27-2016, 07:01 AM
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#107
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Originally Posted By NotBigEnough206⏩
Respect brah, reppedIts hard brah, very hard to raise a girl. Especially once she starts going to school.
Man girls can be such evil little pieces of chit.
They start forming clicks, start bad mouthing each other to each other.
Childish bs but it hits them hard, they will come home crying at 7 or 8 years old, this girl was mean or that girl was mean etc etc.
This is when you have to be level headed and talk to her, be her friend, listen to her, spend as much time as you can with her.
Show her and teach her as much as you can about people, life and how people are.
I recently told mine you see all these girls with iphones in 6th or 7th grade, booty shorts and all that.
And then you see the academic ones, with great grades, dressing modestly.
The truth is many of those will end up as strippers and working as waitresses, fast food joints, they are popular now, but 20 years from now you will see what I meant.
you choose which one you want to be, the cool girl now with iphone and booty shorts in 6th grade. Or be the smart one, working hard and studying hard.
Each thing you do and act, will have consequences for the rest of your life.
She just sat there silently looking at me.
Then I started naming some of her moms friends who are now single moms and waitresses.
Guess honey which girls they were in grade school.
She did not have guess.
Man girls can be such evil little pieces of chit.
They start forming clicks, start bad mouthing each other to each other.
Childish bs but it hits them hard, they will come home crying at 7 or 8 years old, this girl was mean or that girl was mean etc etc.
This is when you have to be level headed and talk to her, be her friend, listen to her, spend as much time as you can with her.
Show her and teach her as much as you can about people, life and how people are.
I recently told mine you see all these girls with iphones in 6th or 7th grade, booty shorts and all that.
And then you see the academic ones, with great grades, dressing modestly.
The truth is many of those will end up as strippers and working as waitresses, fast food joints, they are popular now, but 20 years from now you will see what I meant.
you choose which one you want to be, the cool girl now with iphone and booty shorts in 6th grade. Or be the smart one, working hard and studying hard.
Each thing you do and act, will have consequences for the rest of your life.
She just sat there silently looking at me.
Then I started naming some of her moms friends who are now single moms and waitresses.
Guess honey which girls they were in grade school.
She did not have guess.
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07-27-2016, 07:05 AM
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#108
Congrats OP. Some solid advice here already.
My daughter is 10, going on 16 lately. Think those hormones are starting to kick in - she is 5'2 already.
So far so good I think; modest clothes, nice friends, making As in the TAG program.
Hoping that keeping her in that group with mostly smart nerdy kids will help see her through middle school relatively unscathed.
Still thinks boys are icky.
OTOH she recently told me she doesn't want toys and such for birthday/Christmas - she wants to get her hair dyed, have a spa day, get a mani-pedi, etc.
Just be there, teach her to think things through and keep open lines of communication.
My daughter is 10, going on 16 lately. Think those hormones are starting to kick in - she is 5'2 already.
So far so good I think; modest clothes, nice friends, making As in the TAG program.
Hoping that keeping her in that group with mostly smart nerdy kids will help see her through middle school relatively unscathed.
Still thinks boys are icky.
OTOH she recently told me she doesn't want toys and such for birthday/Christmas - she wants to get her hair dyed, have a spa day, get a mani-pedi, etc.
Just be there, teach her to think things through and keep open lines of communication.
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07-27-2016, 07:08 AM
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#109
07-27-2016, 07:23 AM
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#110
- berserkbladex
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- berserkbladex
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Originally Posted By katya422⏩
yeah, i think middle school years will generally be the worst...i don't want her to come ask me for a nosejob or something at 14...Congrats OP. Some solid advice here already.
My daughter is 10, going on 16 lately. Think those hormones are starting to kick in - she is 5'2 already.
So far so good I think; modest clothes, nice friends, making As in the TAG program.
Hoping that keeping her in that group with mostly smart nerdy kids will help see her through middle school relatively unscathed.
Still thinks boys are icky.
OTOH she recently told me she doesn't want toys and such for birthday/Christmas - she wants to get her hair dyed, have a spa day, get a mani-pedi, etc.
Just be there, teach her to think things through and keep open lines of communication.
My daughter is 10, going on 16 lately. Think those hormones are starting to kick in - she is 5'2 already.
So far so good I think; modest clothes, nice friends, making As in the TAG program.
Hoping that keeping her in that group with mostly smart nerdy kids will help see her through middle school relatively unscathed.
Still thinks boys are icky.
OTOH she recently told me she doesn't want toys and such for birthday/Christmas - she wants to get her hair dyed, have a spa day, get a mani-pedi, etc.
Just be there, teach her to think things through and keep open lines of communication.
07-27-2016, 09:00 AM
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#111
- Isabeli
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Originally Posted By berserkbladex⏩
You seem disappointed and in panic about about having a daughter, you probably would rather have had a son...that's a problem that needs to be addressed first.yeah, thats why i need input from women on why they became distant and how to avoid it lol
07-27-2016, 09:22 AM
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#112
- berserkbladex
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- berserkbladex
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Originally Posted By Isabeli⏩
panic yes...preference of boy not at all...its our first child so i would have freaked out even with a boyYou seem disappointed and in panic about about having a daughter, you probably would rather have had a son...that's a problem that needs to be addressed first.
our family is probably 90% guys so i just never understood raising a girl from that perspective
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