Thread: Will you spank your kids or no?
08-10-2016, 08:07 AM
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#91
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Yes, for my son who is 3 and I've spanked him maybe 3 times. I'm hoping once he makes it to the 6-8 yr old range I won't have to anymore as he will be well adjusted and know right from wrong. Wife is pregnant with our daughter now, and I've already told her she will have to handle 90% of discipline with a little girl. I won't spank her, and I'll probably just end up giving her whatever she wants (making her a spoiled entitled brat that some guy will have to deal with in 30 yrs). In the mean time, she will never need to ask another man for anything, as she will know "Daddy got her"
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08-10-2016, 08:10 AM
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#92
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I have a 5 year old, and he's received a couple spankings here and there.. however, I've stopped and won't do it again because the truth is it just doesn't work. I noticed he adapts to the spanking and it requires more force to have the same effect each time... logically, you'd progress to very hard spankings, belts, sticks , whatever.. it's just not a good idea.
Disciplining him other ways takes more time and requires more patience, but I'm willing to make that sacrifice to have a healthy and well adjusted son.
Disciplining him other ways takes more time and requires more patience, but I'm willing to make that sacrifice to have a healthy and well adjusted son.
08-10-2016, 08:15 AM
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#93
Spouse: only spanked one time as a child; pro-spanking
Me: spanked until I was a teenager and actually was laughing in my mom's face the last time she spanked me; mostly anti-spanking
Every kid is different. Daughter is/was seriously defiant at times and talks back/questions all the time.
When kids are really little (under 5) some things can be serious enough to merit it because sometimes talking it out isn't enough. Spouse got spanked when he was small for riding his tricycle out onto the highway.
My husband absolutely loves my daughter. But he is also hot tempered and controlling. Absolutely believe he spanks out of anger. She is smart and stubborn. Both dominant personalities that butt heads hard. IMO his controlling behavior makes her push back harder. She is the child though, and will eventually buckle. Honestly it's a dynamic that concerns me re:future relationships.
Me: spanked until I was a teenager and actually was laughing in my mom's face the last time she spanked me; mostly anti-spanking
Every kid is different. Daughter is/was seriously defiant at times and talks back/questions all the time.
When kids are really little (under 5) some things can be serious enough to merit it because sometimes talking it out isn't enough. Spouse got spanked when he was small for riding his tricycle out onto the highway.
My husband absolutely loves my daughter. But he is also hot tempered and controlling. Absolutely believe he spanks out of anger. She is smart and stubborn. Both dominant personalities that butt heads hard. IMO his controlling behavior makes her push back harder. She is the child though, and will eventually buckle. Honestly it's a dynamic that concerns me re:future relationships.
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08-10-2016, 08:18 AM
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#94
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Originally Posted By ivanhoek1⏩
Just smhI have a 5 year old, and he's received a couple spankings here and there.. however, I've stopped and won't do it again because the truth is it just doesn't work. I noticed he adapts to the spanking and it requires more force to have the same effect each time... logically, you'd progress to very hard spankings, belts, sticks , whatever.. it's just not a good idea.
Disciplining him other ways takes more time and requires more patience, but I'm willing to make that sacrifice to have a healthy and well adjusted son.
Disciplining him other ways takes more time and requires more patience, but I'm willing to make that sacrifice to have a healthy and well adjusted son.
Spanking 1st and foremost establishes cause and effect.
ie There are rules you must follow and if you break them then you will have to face consequences.
Doesn't matter if the spanking works or doesn't work.
Guarantee your kid will shape up if you 1) break out the belt (assuming they are not a toddler anymore) and make that fanny red in addition to 2) take away ALL privileges ie phone, tv, games, friends, radio etc.
If not well, just consider yourself unlucky. You produced a psychotic child who needs to be shipped off to some bording school.
And just LOL at thinking you can talk and reason with a toddler. Good luck with that. Absolutely they need a swat to the back side here and there.
A 2 year old cant understand why he shouldnt touch a hot stove. But he can surely understand cause and effect. ie If I touch this bad things happen.
08-10-2016, 08:19 AM
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#95
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Just had a kid, I was spanked, no way I would spank my kid
It shows a beta lack of control of your emotions, a grown man hitting a kid because they don't do as they are told? yeah that's unnecessary.
And don't say kids these days are weak because they don't get hit, I've grown up with kids who have been spanked and those who haven't and it's a total mixed bag, no way the spanked ones were any more well behaved/well adjusted.
It shows a beta lack of control of your emotions, a grown man hitting a kid because they don't do as they are told? yeah that's unnecessary.
And don't say kids these days are weak because they don't get hit, I've grown up with kids who have been spanked and those who haven't and it's a total mixed bag, no way the spanked ones were any more well behaved/well adjusted.
08-10-2016, 08:21 AM
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#96
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Originally Posted By Devils⏩
Man card revoked.Just had a kid, I was spanked, no way I would spank my kid
It shows a beta lack of control of your emotions, a grown man hitting a kid because they don't do as they are told? yeah that's unnecessary.
And don't say kids these days are weak because they don't get hit, I've grown up with kids who have been spanked and those who haven't and it's a total mixed bag, no way the spanked ones were any more well behaved/well adjusted.
It shows a beta lack of control of your emotions, a grown man hitting a kid because they don't do as they are told? yeah that's unnecessary.
And don't say kids these days are weak because they don't get hit, I've grown up with kids who have been spanked and those who haven't and it's a total mixed bag, no way the spanked ones were any more well behaved/well adjusted.
Good luck trying to talk to that 2 year old and reason with him lol
08-10-2016, 08:22 AM
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#97
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Originally Posted By ncsalsero⏩
Agree on cause and effect. I've just found it more effective to take away privileges. In the case of a 5 year old, that means no cartoons before bed or not playing with certain toys. It doesn't take more than one time for him to realize the consequences are there , always (if you're consistent) and the behavior changes...Just smh
Spanking 1st and foremost establishes cause and effect.
ie There are rules you must follow and if you break them then you will have to face consequences.
Doesn't matter if the spanking works or doesn't work.
Guarantee your kid will shape up if you 1) break out the belt (assuming they are not a toddler anymore) and make that fanny red in addition to 2) take away ALL privileges ie phone, tv, games, friends, radio etc.
If not well, just consider yourself unlucky. You produced a psychotic child who needs to be shipped off to some bording school.
Spanking 1st and foremost establishes cause and effect.
ie There are rules you must follow and if you break them then you will have to face consequences.
Doesn't matter if the spanking works or doesn't work.
Guarantee your kid will shape up if you 1) break out the belt (assuming they are not a toddler anymore) and make that fanny red in addition to 2) take away ALL privileges ie phone, tv, games, friends, radio etc.
If not well, just consider yourself unlucky. You produced a psychotic child who needs to be shipped off to some bording school.
08-10-2016, 08:26 AM
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#98
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Originally Posted By ivanhoek1⏩
How is that gonna work on a 2 year old whos brain is not yet functional to understand all that?Agree on cause and effect. I've just found it more effective to take away privileges. In the case of a 5 year old, that means no cartoons before bed or not playing with certain toys. It doesn't take more than one time for him to realize the consequences are there , always (if you're consistent) and the behavior changes...
If you can get your kids to obey without spanking then more power to you.
Me, they are gonna get the whole package for outright defiance or major infractions.
No free cake here lol
08-10-2016, 08:31 AM
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#99
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Originally Posted By ncsalsero⏩
In the event you're not trolling..How is that gonna work on a 2 year old whos brain is not yet functional to understand all that?
If you can get your kids to obey without spanking then more power to you.
Me, they are gonna get the whole package for outright defiance or major infractions.
No free cake here lol
If you can get your kids to obey without spanking then more power to you.
Me, they are gonna get the whole package for outright defiance or major infractions.
No free cake here lol
Well, spanking is certainly easier/quicker. You CAN effectively discipline even a 2 year old without spanking. It just requires consistency and repetition, like anything else. Parenting isn't easy.
Not saying spanking is wrong or should never be used (it has it's place), but ask yourself.. am I spanking out of anger or frustration? Am I choosing to spank because it's easier/faster? Be honest, and if your answer is yes to either of these, then spanking may not be the right choice at that time.
Source: I have 3 kids.
08-10-2016, 08:41 AM
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#100
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i cant imagine spanking and the like to be useful in disciplining children up to maybe age 4 because explicit memory isn't developed until then. given the age and severity of their misbehavior i wouldn't be against spanking.
i dont think i was actually physically disciplined until i was old enough to understand that ****ing up was gonna = pain, and i think that was for the better. it only happened twice in my memory, and both times i easily learned my lesson. imo it shouldnt be a go-to thing, rather to be used when all other options are exhausted or the kid dun goofed on an extreme level
i dont think i was actually physically disciplined until i was old enough to understand that ****ing up was gonna = pain, and i think that was for the better. it only happened twice in my memory, and both times i easily learned my lesson. imo it shouldnt be a go-to thing, rather to be used when all other options are exhausted or the kid dun goofed on an extreme level
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08-10-2016, 08:44 AM
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#101
08-10-2016, 08:55 AM
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#102
08-10-2016, 09:06 AM
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#103
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My daughter already knows it's game on if she steps out of line there is no talking just straight action, she is super bad for her mother when I'm not there but if I'm home and or it's just me and her she's usually fine. I guess because her mother does not discipline her like I do.. So she is automatically going to be bad for my wife. SPANK DAT ASS it is effective
And I don't want to hear about oh they're young they won't remember what they did or their memory isn't fully developed. BS my daughter is 3 and is very smart, speaks full sentences and can have a conversation with you and can remember something from months ago.
And I don't want to hear about oh they're young they won't remember what they did or their memory isn't fully developed. BS my daughter is 3 and is very smart, speaks full sentences and can have a conversation with you and can remember something from months ago.
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08-10-2016, 09:13 AM
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#104
08-10-2016, 09:15 AM
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#105
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if u dont semi-beat ur kids ur a fukking sad pathetic cuck and should probably neck urself lmao
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08-10-2016, 09:28 AM
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#106
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Originally Posted By ncsalsero⏩
lmao you cant reason with a 2 year old, they are two.Man card revoked.
Good luck trying to talk to that 2 year old and reason with him lol
Good luck trying to talk to that 2 year old and reason with him lol
brb i cant seem to control a toddler, better hit her.
**** off mate, i bet you'd kick a dog for tearing up the yard
08-10-2016, 09:30 AM
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#107
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Originally Posted By ivanhoek1⏩
How exactly are you going to effectively discipline a 2 year old?In the event you're not trolling..
Well, spanking is certainly easier/quicker. You CAN effectively discipline even a 2 year old without spanking. It just requires consistency and repetition, like anything else. Parenting isn't easy.
Not saying spanking is wrong or should never be used (it has it's place), but ask yourself.. am I spanking out of anger or frustration? Am I choosing to spank because it's easier/faster? Be honest, and if your answer is yes to either of these, then spanking may not be the right choice at that time.
Source: I have 3 kids.
Well, spanking is certainly easier/quicker. You CAN effectively discipline even a 2 year old without spanking. It just requires consistency and repetition, like anything else. Parenting isn't easy.
Not saying spanking is wrong or should never be used (it has it's place), but ask yourself.. am I spanking out of anger or frustration? Am I choosing to spank because it's easier/faster? Be honest, and if your answer is yes to either of these, then spanking may not be the right choice at that time.
Source: I have 3 kids.
I am gonna spank out of simply this is the rules and consequences. Cause and effect.
Start out with a simple No and swat. Then when they can understand at a more advanced level you explain exactly what the rules are and why they are getting spanked.
08-10-2016, 09:33 AM
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#108
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Originally Posted By Devils⏩
You are the only one advocating reasoning with a 2 year old.lmao you cant reason with a 2 year old, they are two.
brb i cant seem to control a toddler, better hit her.
**** off mate, i bet you'd kick a dog for tearing up the yard
brb i cant seem to control a toddler, better hit her.
**** off mate, i bet you'd kick a dog for tearing up the yard
A 2 year old can def understand simple cause and effect. ie Do x = bad outcome. They wont understand why, but that will come later down the line.
That is how you control a toddler who can not understand right from wrong or think logically.
Gotta get them on that cause and effect time.
Got a friend who's 2 year old is a wild child. Throws tantrums and behaves like a baboon. Mother doesn't spank. Go figure.
08-10-2016, 09:38 AM
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#109
I would rather give my kid time-out, or ground him, or some other disciplinary act like taking his toys away, or no more watching television.
However, he is about to be 7 months old in 2 days and we'll see what works best/what he responds to. My nieces and nephews range from 6 to 13. My sisters just ask them nicely or try to be stern and the daughters listen to them but their sons won't. When I see them tell their sons to do something and they don't after several times. I'll walk up to them, get down to their level and use a stern voice. They listen to me then.
However, he is about to be 7 months old in 2 days and we'll see what works best/what he responds to. My nieces and nephews range from 6 to 13. My sisters just ask them nicely or try to be stern and the daughters listen to them but their sons won't. When I see them tell their sons to do something and they don't after several times. I'll walk up to them, get down to their level and use a stern voice. They listen to me then.
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08-10-2016, 09:38 AM
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#110
08-10-2016, 09:40 AM
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#111
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Yes I will spank my kids if they get out of line my parents made sure to whoop my ass when I did stupid **** and I sure as hell didn't do it a second time.
08-10-2016, 09:40 AM
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#112
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Originally Posted By LMAOatYou⏩
LMAO at using completely flawed evidence that doesnt account for even 1/3 of all the different variables it should.I will base my parenting on the evidence out there. And by evidence I don't mean going off of "well my parents spanked me and I turned out fine."
08-10-2016, 09:44 AM
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#113
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Originally Posted By Nelly87⏩
Time out is pretty soft no?I would rather give my kid time-out, or ground him, or some other disciplinary act like taking his toys away, or no more watching television.
However, he is about to be 7 months old in 2 days and we'll see what works best/what he responds to. My nieces and nephews range from 6 to 13. My sisters just ask them nicely or try to be stern and the daughters listen to them but their sons won't. When I see them tell their sons to do something and they don't after several times. I'll walk up to them, get down to their level and use a stern voice. They listen to me then.
However, he is about to be 7 months old in 2 days and we'll see what works best/what he responds to. My nieces and nephews range from 6 to 13. My sisters just ask them nicely or try to be stern and the daughters listen to them but their sons won't. When I see them tell their sons to do something and they don't after several times. I'll walk up to them, get down to their level and use a stern voice. They listen to me then.
You don't want some little PC prissy boy do you?
Make them tough. Turn that fanny red.
08-10-2016, 09:47 AM
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#114
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Originally Posted By ncsalsero⏩
It is not one study. Take a child psych course. Get a child psych textbook where people have devoted their entire working years to researching things such as the effect of spanking vs other punishmentLMAO at using completely flawed evidence that doesnt account for even 1/3 of all the different variables it should.
At this point in time evidence points towards other forms of punishment being the better option so that is the route I will take. Even if there have not been studies to take every single variable into account, what has been done says physical punishment can be detrimental to children. So why would I risk that if there is the option of other effective forms of punishment?
08-10-2016, 09:48 AM
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#115
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Originally Posted By LMAOatYou⏩
Find me one study that isnt severely flawed.It is not one study. Take a child psych course. Get a child psych textbook where people have devoted their entire working years to researching things such as the effect of spanking vs other punishment
At this point in time evidence points towards other forms of punishment being the better option so that is the route I will take. Even if there have not been studies to take every single variable into account, what has been done says physical punishment can be detrimental to children. So why would I risk that if there is the option of other effective forms of punishment?
At this point in time evidence points towards other forms of punishment being the better option so that is the route I will take. Even if there have not been studies to take every single variable into account, what has been done says physical punishment can be detrimental to children. So why would I risk that if there is the option of other effective forms of punishment?
brb study says a kid who was spanked turned out bad.
brb didnt mention the kid was actually abused physically, verbally and mentally.
lmao
08-10-2016, 09:48 AM
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#116
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If you spank your kids often, it pretty much losses it's effectiveness, and it really doesn't deter their behavior after that. Then it's a downward spiral.
You can reason with a child from ages 1-2. Under 1, there is no reason you should be spanking them. Hell, they are barely learning to walk around 9-12 months. How much trouble can they get into?
I do spank, but it's for serious offenses that would affect her safety. Running out into traffic, wondering what would happen if she stuck a fork into a socket after repeated warnings and explanations, etc.
Things like being a miscreant? Then it's a consequence. Don't pick up your toys? Then I'll do it, and you lose them for 48 hours, etc. Don't listen to instructions? Then it's sit in a corner until you decide to do what you are told. She's learns there are consequences and rewards for actions. Also that it's better to take 1 minute to clean up her toys than to lose them for 2 days or sit in a corner for 5 minutes.
The hardest part is screaming and temper tantrums. Gotta learn to ignore it.
You can reason with a child from ages 1-2. Under 1, there is no reason you should be spanking them. Hell, they are barely learning to walk around 9-12 months. How much trouble can they get into?
I do spank, but it's for serious offenses that would affect her safety. Running out into traffic, wondering what would happen if she stuck a fork into a socket after repeated warnings and explanations, etc.
Things like being a miscreant? Then it's a consequence. Don't pick up your toys? Then I'll do it, and you lose them for 48 hours, etc. Don't listen to instructions? Then it's sit in a corner until you decide to do what you are told. She's learns there are consequences and rewards for actions. Also that it's better to take 1 minute to clean up her toys than to lose them for 2 days or sit in a corner for 5 minutes.
The hardest part is screaming and temper tantrums. Gotta learn to ignore it.
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08-10-2016, 09:50 AM
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#117
Originally Posted By ncsalsero⏩
You mean turn it red like your troll rep power? No thanks.Time out is pretty soft no?
You don't want some little PC prissy boy do you?
Make them tough. Turn that fanny red.
You don't want some little PC prissy boy do you?
Make them tough. Turn that fanny red.
Depends how he responds. If he learns his lesson, no need to pursue. If he doesn't then it's time to whoop dat ass. I'm just against whacking your kid for everything. However, if they are a fukkin block head and that's the only way to get through to them, then it's time. I'll use what works.
*Edit - poster above worded it much better than me. I am similar mindset.
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08-10-2016, 09:52 AM
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#118
Originally Posted By Devils⏩
If you can't reason with a 2 year old, how do you discipline them?lmao you cant reason with a 2 year old, they are two.
brb i cant seem to control a toddler, better hit her.
**** off mate, i bet you'd kick a dog for tearing up the yard
brb i cant seem to control a toddler, better hit her.
**** off mate, i bet you'd kick a dog for tearing up the yard
08-10-2016, 09:55 AM
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#119
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Originally Posted By ncsalsero⏩
I am not going through that for a red troll. It is not as much about turning out bad. It is usually that the child turns out more aggressive. There are alternative, and effective ways of punishment so I do not see a reason to spank my (future) children.Find me one study that isnt severely flawed.
brb study says a kid who was spanked turned out bad.
brb didnt mention the kid was actually abused physically, verbally and mentally.
lmao
brb study says a kid who was spanked turned out bad.
brb didnt mention the kid was actually abused physically, verbally and mentally.
lmao
08-10-2016, 10:03 AM
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#120
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Originally Posted By .aeterna⏩
A 2 year old can articulate and comprehend at that age unless they are seriously developmentally disabled. You can speak in small words and they can understand.If you can't reason with a 2 year old, how do you discipline them?
What they cannot do so will is control their feelings, and actions. This is were you teach them through example because this is the age they start learning cultural norms. What is acceptable behavior and what isn't. If it's acceptable to lash out every time someone doesn't listen, then they learn that.
It takes a great deal of patience and learning when to fight and when it isn't worth it.
My daughter likes to jump on the coffee table. My wife yells at her, tries to reason with her, and she continues to do it. Even after a time out. Me? I pick up that damn table and throw it in the garage. One and done, no more jumping on the coffee table. Fight wasn't worth it. Things like that.
Then there are times when there is no reasoning, no time out, just constant yelling, crying and screaming. Kid throws one of those nuclear tantrums. If you are a parent, you would know they happen. You put them in a room, and walk away. Let them work it out of their system. They don't get what they want, and I don't have to deal with it.
I'm not blessed with riches, but I am rich with blessings.
Thank you, LORD, my God.
IG: Tuksonrider
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