Common bro, lighten up she wanted the D. Women use this kind of chit to lure you back to them without saying outright "I miss you and your D". We both know her orbiters would be there in the drop of a hat to set up the shelf. Yes I would still bust on her and let her know that she is using me for my services, how I will be bringing an invoice, etc. Have fun with it.

Some of the most epic fuark has occurred for me when "helping move furniture" for an ex. Infact it became an inside joke between us, "move furniture tonight?".

Sodarag: you just joined and you act like you know what time it is, STFU *******.

"If by 'move furniture' you mean 'move the bed springs and slam the head board into the wall' then I'm in."

I told her to give him my phone number earlier in the night as I was DD for a bunch of people so if he was worried about anything he could let me know. I actually sent him a text saying she was good, got a little drunk off some birthday shots and that I'd be driving people home in 5-10 minutes, etc. (a basic update) That was when he sent me a big text losing his **** on me. Made me feel pretty crappy to be honest.

You're incorrect. I know this woman. She wasn't just looking for the D, she actually wanted help putting her furniture together. She sent me pics of the boxes of it and was trying to nail down our schedules and even set something up 5 days in advance when I told her I wasn't going to come over and fcking put furniture together.

Yes she did want you to self up the shelf but she also wanted to see you and bone you, that's all I am saying. You actually think she doesn't know anyone else who is capable? She snaps her fingers and they come running, especially if hot, HUH.

You're not right. I'm not sure what else to tell you man. Believe it or not, some people want things done without sex in their life. This includes women. This is why she was adamant about squeezing me in for an hour to just get the furniture thing started. This is compounded by her roommates who apparently don't know how to use a screwdriver and hammer. Typical millennial men in other words. Not everyone is looking to get laid at all times. That might be a "mind=blown" scenario for you but it's true.

I don't see how you ruined this marriage unless you skipped part of the story where you went into the toilets with her, played with her kunt and told her to leave her husband. As stated, it's on her and her husband. I'm going to go out on a limb here and speculate that you're not the exact one person in the entire world that would trigger this behaviour from her and it says more about her and her marriage than you.

As for the co-workers, which would be more my concern, yeah LOL, that's a sticky situation. Personally I wouldn't discuss the incident unless asked and my story would be 'she had too much to drink and said some stuff out of the blue' and then refuse to comment any further. Complete no comment of any kind may make you look guilty. Being non-specific about what was said except that it was unexpected and had no background to it is probably the best bet.

Fugg dat noise holmes, you played it well then lol. You can't say there is no chance at all though.

I would prob be suggestive of the idea and if she shut it down I wouldn't go lol.

That's not what I meant. If you truly are the whole package all you have to do is talk about yourself every once in a while and tell the truth, the rest is all action, but you have to be willing to get into a vulnerable state to make an emotional connection. Without this, you have NOTHING to build on. Women want to feel related to. They want to feel understood. They want to be validated. They want to feel beautiful inside and out.

If they are going out with you, then they are attracted to you, so something else is putting them off after the fact. You said 4-5 dates in is when you finally start to open up and you get good results? Well there's your ticket. Experiment. Start to open up over text as you are getting to know the person leading up to the first date. Open up a bit more on the first and second date and see how that works out for you. Little, little things, do not overload her with information, just enough to want more. Yes, it will hurt even more when you get rejected, but you will keep getting the same results if you don't open up more.

Let me tell you something for those that haven't been paying attention to me for the past 10 years. I don't say **** to get laid. Getting laid is not an achievement for me because once I learned how women really worked was too easy and it means nothing to me outside of a relationship. I turn down sex by the handfuls even before I lost my virginity at 23 because I wanted to be in a relationship first. My wife was my 2nd and the girl I am dating now is my 3rd, but I could have easily slept with many more women before I met my wife, may more during my marriage, and many more over the past year since leaving her. I make emotional connections base on real life experience and I have a naturally flirty personality, by the time we go out on a first date, they already want to have sex with me because I've built that mental and emotional attraction and trust leading up to the first date. If a woman trusts you and feels safe around you, she will 100% want to **** you and not want to let you get away. I do not abuse that power like many, many men do, which just makes the women want me more.We normally subconsciously seek a partner to fix the broken relationship we had with our one(or both) parent(s) that didn't fill our needs correctly. This is why I keep asking what kind of women are you trying to date?

There are two likelyhoods here:

1.) You seek out women like your mother that will never love you like you ought to be loved, so you in turn do not have to love them they way they ought to be loved.

2.) You are too closed off because if your relationship with your mother and make zero emotional connections with women because you simply don't know how and have never truly taken that risk.

Both scenarios come down to one thing - Your psyche protecting yourself from getting hurt.

annnnnd....Ghosted.

As Jay-Z says, on to the next one.Holy fuk, that is just bad luck bro, like all the planets aligned to spit out some horrid funk. In bold though, I really would not feel bad, I would be willing to bet shes stepped out of line more than once on him and you were just an easy target to blow up at.Yep, my predicament also, I am going to try what pondus is saying, it can't hurt, open up more earlier. All this stuff is always about learning what works and what doesn't.

Wait, you were DD for an office party?

I take it you're teetotal or work in the boonies? Personally, if I were faced with the prospect of a sober night with my coworkers, then had to load the gurning, inebriated phuckers into my car and drive them all home, I'd probably treat myself to a self-inflicted gunshot wound instead....

lol'd

All that



I hope you fired back and put the husband in his place. Honestly, after an outburst like that, I wouldn't feel bad about filling the obvious gap in their marriage next time she spills it for you. Co-workers finding out would be the only barrier



Could be worse... at least you've got a hate-phuck in the bank for when she inevitably leaves him

Fck brah, most real post I've seen you make in the RH section. Let me ask you a few questions though because I think we have a couple similarities. I'm also all about quality over quantity to the point where I pass up on sex too in many cases. Is the reason you've been with so few because you were married and the kids thing? Do you think you'd have hooked up more if you didn't have kids? Be honest. Just curious as to how you put yourself in the situation you're in with intimacy. I don't disagree with it at all either, I actually respect it a lot. (srs)

I think your possibilities part directed towards me is correct except 100% backwards. I think I'm too emotionally trusting of women because I'm going the complete opposite of my psychotic mother. I've also been told I should write a book titled "How to get a woman to say I love you in 2 weeks" since that's been the standard for many years for me. It's been a very recent change where I'm ghosted non-stop and I think a lot of it has to do with either the wide-spread use of social media which changes the dynamic of dating/attention/life in general or I've somehow managed to change my persona around without realizing it. I'm still attracting complete fcking psychos and I manage to attract women with boyfriends/husbands, women fresh out of 10+ year relationships, alcoholics, drug users, etc but I can't attract normal human beings.

It's hard for me to start spilling stories of losing friends in the middle east and almost dying in foreign countries/continents to women on a first or second date. That's just not me. I had a friend recently who's known me for 8 years that didn't know that I was clinically dead one time from hypothermia. This dude has known me 8 years. I'm not going to tell some random woman this about myself in order to try and come off as cool and it sure as **** isn't going to come up casually in a conversation unless it's some weird reason.

I don't know how to go about "opening up" in that regard because I feel like a complete douchebag if I do so.What happened with the chick you were talking to? Did you say something and just no response?Yes, I was the DD for the office party. And yes, I would have rather blasted my dome off with a 12g shotty. Jesus it was annoying but it's better than someone wrecking because they decided to drive home and run some kid over or something like that.

I did not fire back and put the husband in his place. My initial reaction was to feel like **** and then feel angry at his wife for putting me in the situation and then angry at myself for putting myself in the situation and then angry at home for being a douche and then just disappointment. By the time those emotions all hit I didn't have anything to say. I did use her phone to tell him I was driving her back to her dad's house as well as a couple other people and that I was sober and told him we could speak on the phone or whatever he needed to do in order to fill any sort of trust issue he was having. I thought I was being adult about it but I guess it was just a ****-show. At the end of it I did feel like I wanted to knock him the fck out but then disappointment just took over and that's how I've been feeling since then.

And I can't bring myself to bang this woman even if they did break up. She's a solid, good person aside from the fact that she's miserable with all this and I was somehow the catalyst for a mega-impact of possible marriage ending issues. I guess homeboy rages at her all the time and the fact I told her I was proud of her for a promotion, that I genuinely cared about her well being, etc etc. Basically, being a nice guy (aka: fcking idiot) and putting myself in a position where she felt like she could fall in love with someone else instead of the crappy situation she's in. Other people are right too, if not me it would have eventually been someone else I imagine but that doesn't change the fact it was me and it happened. I shouldn't feel as ****ty as I do about it but I make it my life goal to not negatively impact anyone's life. It's part of my philosophy on life. It's the reason I study medicine, combat, rescue operations and all sorts of other things. I want to be the guy people look to for help when in need and I just crushed some marriage without even trying. Fck.....

You should be proud of your achievements and that you risked your own life to try improve someone else's (atleast by the sounds of it). And if you want a way to bring it up, if a girl ever praises you, you say "you lucky I am even here you know as....(insert story)".

Don't even let this angry beta rustle you bro, especially when you did nothing wrong. Personally I would snap from the false accusations and tell this bird to not take out his marital frustrations out on you. Never hang with work colleague's brahs, its too much drama.

We were just talking then she stopped. Left it 2 days and when I asked how she was doing she read but didn't reply, had time to read my cardio PR snapchat though so I know the score. I'd be wasting brain power trying to figure out why at this point. All I can think I negatively did was during the date ask when if she was free for another meet up and she said she was going to see a family member but wasn't 100% sure. To which I invited her out to a party I was attending:

Her: Would you hate me if I said I could not make that party?
Me: Of course not, I wouldn't hate you...much.

She looked like she took it jokingly.

Girl 2

Got the number, on Thursday, agreed to meet up Wednesday. I said i'll text her on Tuesday, don't wanna take up her weekend partying time (uni student, well, college to you US brahs). Soon as she said, I'll let you know Wednesday (today) morning I knew what was coming. So I scheduled a boxing session at the gym. Asked if she was still okay for today and she hasn't read the message. I expect that from 20-24 year olds these days, so meh. The session was worth it.

Actually know this feel.
women I've known for yrs through social circles who never showed interest all of a sudden get a few drinks in them and come onto me after i flirted a little with them.
but it goes nowhere because i'm not trashed.
I bring it up next time I see them and they pull the "I was drunk" card then don't want to talk about it.

then continue to show no interest sober.

When another woman starts showing interest they all of a sudden want me again after a few drinks but then always mention past attractive women i've dated or hooked up with and I end up walking away because once sober, repeat.
total insecurity i have to assume.

It does get old.

I'm not even that chad like or 10k/day CEO.
I'm just a decent guy who treats people well, knows how to take charge when something needs to be planned and have interests other than hitting on every woman in our social circle or friends of women.
I do tend to have women from the social circle come onto me and follow through so i have that rep when others found out we hooked up,
but, since i'm not a d-bag about it after and they are the ones who just wanted a hook-up, it's cool and they never put me on blast so I don't have that bad a rep.

I'm always real, rangerbrah. I have nothing to hide.

Yes, the reason I have had so few partners is because I had a 12 year gap with my ex-wife. I would have had more relationships I'm sure, but not a lot of partners outside of that because I am a relationship kind of guy. So, I can't say it would have been many more. I know I could easily have huge numbers though. My kids have nothing to do with it. Sure, it makes it difficult that I don't have a place to bring randoms home at night if I wanted to, but I wouldn't do that anyway. So, am I able to have sex as often as I want to with my girl? No, she is just as busy, but it's more than what I was getting with my ex-wife.All the women I talked to after separating from my wife seemed to have some issues. They were decent women, they just reminded me a lot of my ex-wife. I stopped talking to women for about 3 months to figure out why I was attracting these "****ed up" women, and I determined that they were the ones that were falling for my game the hardest and were entertaining me and wouldn't require me to "open up," so I would stop talking to the woman that seemed more "boring" and required me to be more "real." All the women I was talking to were interested in me, but was me that was gravitating towards the ones that were most ****ed up, not the other way around. Now, these were not low quality women, they all were decent enough, they just reminded me a lot of my ex-wife. I'd go out with them to give the a chance, but after that I just knew it wasn't something I wanted to pursue. Now keep in mind, I was also only pursuing women with no kids at this point.

So, about 3 months ago I got back on Tinder and Match.com and decided to take a different approach. I would use my normal game to get things going, and then immediately switch gears to be more real once I had them interested. Some stayed interested some just kind of fizzled out, but that was okay. I knew I could have kept gaming them hard, but from previous results I realized the women that desired that level of game were not the ones I wanted anyway. Met a few women that were my age that didn't have kids and didn't want any of their own, and we didn't really click. One was a psychologist and I felt like she was the one gaming me, so I let that one go because if you are not the shark, then you are the fish.

The woman I am currently dating I never really fell for my "game" but she was playing into it on purpose. She has two younger kids, but we have a lot in common and like spending time together. Sometimes I'll turn up the game and charm just to keep it fun and she will play long, but I know I don't have to do that with her. One thing we have in common is running half marathons, so we are both athletic, and like sports.When she asked what got me into running I told her I was a kid that loved too much cake when I was younger and started running when I was 20 in addition to weight lifting to lose weight and get into shape. Then I went into how I was in a motorcycle accident and was lucky to be alive, let alone walk. I never thought I would be able to run long distance ever again until I started running seriously again for the first time in 10 years at the beginning of this year.

Women love stories of overcoming adversary. I'm sure you have a ton. Don't be afraid to use it to your advantage because it is what makes you who are today. Let them see why you are who you are. You don't have to and should not go into gory, depressing details.

Women want to know what make you tick, if you have an interesting story to go along with it, all the better. Many times I will steer a conversation a certain, so I can tell a story that I know would raise my value by giving them insight to what kind of person I am at the core. Aka, being vulnerable.

You know what else women love, is if they think you would make a good father. Don't forget 99% of all single women with no kids, ultimately are looking for the one that can help them start a family. If they don't think you can be that guy, you don't stand a chance.

There’s something in psychology called “The fear of the abyss”. People fear they will become like some person (usually a parent) some of whose habits/personality they abhor and feel they have whithin themselves. They fear that should they let up on their rigid control, a very bad person, lurking within their dark side or Abyss will be released and dominate their personality, hence their constant need of showing they are exactly the opposite (I am NOT like my mother, I am a nice guy, I care about people) This leads to black-and-white thinking and rigid associations (I ruined a marriage, I must be in control, I am not a beta guy, I made a mistake=I am a mistake..) When your ex girlfriend left you, did you feel frustrated because you thought you two had a lot in common (I disagree) or is it because you were able to show her your very best -A.K.A putting your life at risk- and it wasn't enough for her?

It can happen that because of your background, you have identified yourself with the hero/rescuer archetype (Jung). This means that certain feelings are “ok” to have as long as they are in sync with what the archetype is supposed to feel (the weight of the world is on my shoulders) whereas others are unacceptable (fear, disloyalty). The remaining question would be IF you are capable of more than superficial connections with women.

I might be wrong, but you remind me of this Isaiah quote: Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said “Here I am. Send me!”.

pd-I am a not a native english speaker so be kind :P

First off thanks for making this thread. I don't ever post on these forums but this particular topic is very relevant to me right now. I'm sort of looking at it from a different perspective than you are when it comes to using Tinder at this point though. In my opinion it is much more worthwhile for your own mental health if you think of it as a low risk low reward gamble sort of the same way you would with a one dollar scratch off ticket. What I mean by that is if all you put in to it is a very minimal amount of your time, then when situations like what you've had happen with the app arise, what are you really out of? I used to sit around analyzing every date I went on with the app trying to figure out what went right and what went wrong in each scenario but the truth is there are so many factors when you are working with the human element that unless you're noticing a glaring pattern girls are getting turned off by there isn't a whole lot Tinder can do to help you from a self improvement standpoint. Now a days I get on a couple days a week, hit a few matches, throw out a few original lines I've had luck with before, and try to turn it in to a meet up as quick as possible. If it works it works, and if it doesn't it doesn't. I honestly don't even know if my endgame is just getting laid or actually dating or if I even have an end game I've just been rolling with it. I feel like what you're seeing is more just bad luck than anything right now Ranger. That said though, here are a few of my latest Tinder stories:

1) Girl has mutual friends with me but her ******** is private so the only pictures I have to work with are via Tinder. They all look solid and she seems very normal. Because she has mutual friends and has a couple family connections (distant) with people I know and respect I take a bit more time than I usually would getting to know her. Things are going well via text, I like her sense of humor, and our conversations flow really well. She mentions her first Tinder experience was awful because the guy looked nothing like his photos and asks to add me on Snapchat to make sure I am who I say I am. I agree and send her a Snap, she doesn't follow up, just opens it. About five minutes later she suggests we go grab dinner and I say sure that's fine with me, but she then tells me she wants to meet to say "Hi" first, and at her house of all places.

It's on my way to work anyway and I work nights so it isn't too much trouble and I agree. When I get there this girl is roughly 60 pounds heavier than her Tinder photos. She instantly mentions she was engaged for four years and broke it off two weeks ago............................ and that and I quote "When you get in to a long term relationship you just sort of go through the motions and let yourself go a bit and that the photos were from before that happened." I remained polite and sat down and told her maybe it would be best for her to give herself some time to figure out who she is/what she wants to become, the whole self improvement grind chat, etc, then tell her it was nice meeting her and try to leave. She asks if I want to go in the bedroom and check out her Amazon Fire Stick. I said that I would pass and literally shook her hand and left lolol

2) Just last night before work I went out with a girl who happened to look exactly like her photos and was very well spoken with a great sense of humor. She has only been living in my city a couple months and the only person she knows is her roommate so this seemed impossible to screw up. We grabbed dinner at a Mexican place before I had to work and things went very well. Admittedly I haven't come across a girl who brings her A game via Tinder in a while so I was pretty underprepared and just winged it (in hindsight maybe I should start having more in depth convos beforehand so I know what I'm getting in to). She liked my sarcasm and thanked me for what she described as a really fun time (it was a 45 minute dinner on a Tuesday :\ ) I haven't heard back from her since then and I would say given the situation I probably won't. As much as I like to think that situation is really hard to screw up, I really didn't bring anything to the table other than a reasonable set of conversation skills and a quick dinner on a Tuesday night is very difficult for me at least to impress someone with.

It's not your fault, let it go, seriously.

Look at it this way, you can go around the rest of your life refusing to build people up by complimenting them on their achievements or you can behave with empathy and run the risk that they might like you. Seems like a simple choice to me.

How appropriately they respond to liking you is not your responsibility. You are not responsible for how other adults choose to behave. They have to own that, in the same way that you do.

I still fail to see how being a regular workplace acquaintance makes you Mr. Stealyogirl

Don't base an identity around being the guy people can always turn to. That's what kids with alcoholic/junkie/mentally-ill parents do. You'll only attract broken people. Save the altruism for people who you know would do the same for you, otherwise your friendship is effectively free-of-charge and therefore viewed as disposable

I am proud of my accomplishments. That's a personal thing though.100% standard ghosting, happens all the time. I hope you didn't invest too much into this one.Sounds like we have a bit of the same issue on this one. This is what happens to me all the time too. I can't wrap my head around it but maybe that's because I'm not insecure about things. I think it would be weird to live an entire life being completely insecure and unable to have normal adult conversations with someone if you were interested in them. That's just strange. Glad I'm not the only one this happens to. Lol.I agree with part of what you're saying and I disagree with part as well. I think you're spot on about understanding what women want and you're completely right about women wanting to find that guy they want to have kids with. That's their end biological goal (aside from when they're young, stupid and going for hipster type guys) so your understanding seems on. I just disagree with the "game" playing aspect because I think it's bull****. I'm not saying that because I think it doesn't work, I just think it's stupid. The whole fish/shark talk, the whole concept of using my life stories/overcoming adversity talk to hook someone in. I can't do that **** man. I just can't. Every once in awhile I'll do something like that on a date because the conversation is soooooooooo bad that I want to kill myself and I need filler. I'll get some good responses from it too but then I feel like an idiot afterwards. The one boring woman I took out who has 4 guys who are in love with her (lol) was like that. I ended up telling a couple crazy stories to her about getting chased by elephants in Africa, having crocodiles come after me, etc (she liked animals and worked with them) but that was like re-starting someone's heart with CPR and letting them die again. It went right back to the point of her being a boring, substandard human being. I'm not going to game the system just to either get my dick wet or to date someone that isn't worth it. That's how I feel with most dates. I'm on the fence of what sort of person they are (I'm allowed to have standards too, a lot of women don't seem to get that concept) and then I get ghosted before I can even land a second date to check and see. It's crazy.

I've been following your dating scenarios in Vick's thread and it's interesting to see how it's playing out. I just don't understand how the initial game playing is the way to get things off to a good start. It seems to work for you though so do your thing.

Another psychologist in the house here? Damn.

Join date: 2013
Posts: 4
Mind = blown

So I agree with everything you said and you seem to have a grasp on personality types that's above my pay grade. I respect your knowledge on the subject. That being said, I don't mind being the hero/rescuer type of person. It's not like I don't know that about myself. It's not like this creates superficial connections in itself. I want the stress and responsibility on my shoulders because I know I can handle it and because I'm good at it. If someone was extremely good at the piano, they would play the piano. I'm not good at the piano, I'm good in chaotic situations where people are very likely to die if I don't do X, Y and Z. How does that make me only able to have superficial connections with a partner?

When my ex left me, I felt frustrated for the very reasons you listed. I felt like we had a lot in common (we did I think) and because I put myself out there (emotionally to a certain degree and very much so physically to the point where I almost died) and it meant nothing to her. You seem to disagree but you didn't expand on that.

I also think that "the fear of the abyss" is a much too simple way to look at it. I agree with everything you said there but I think there's more at play. I remember being a little kid (probably first grade) and lunch was being served somewhere. They told everyone to eat up and I ran to the front of the line like little kids do. A priest was there (Catholic school) and he told me to look at the other kids in line that were behind me and that the first shall be last and the last shall be first. I remember seeing the other hungry kids and feeling horribly guilty about thinking of myself before all of them. That's stuck with me for almost 30 years now. There's numerous times in my life where little things like that have changed who I am as a person even though they seem completely inconsequential. So do I want to avoid being like my narcissistic, bragging, insecure mother? Absolutely. Does that mean I want rigid control of my emotions? Yes. But I'm who I am for a number of reasons and I'd at least like to think my mother isn't the main one.

You know what's funny about the quote you put. I almost had that put on me as a tattoo (I have zero tattoos) before I deployed to Iraq. It's been my favorite quote for a long time.

Thank you for your post. (srs)

You're completely right, I understand that. I just don't want to be a catalyst for people's lives being uprooted and destroyed. This is one of those life lessons where I have to accept that I don't have control over a situation but it still sucks. My "boss" telling me I'm a bad person for the entire thing happening probably didn't help either.I can't do selective kindness brah. Well, I can but it doesn't work that way. I'm an extremely violent individual when the time comes, that's why I was a good ranger and have been good in scenarios where violence has to come about. In those situations, there's no kindness present obviously. But I can't just turn off altruism (if it fully exists) and save it for other people. Well maybe I can but I don't know how. Fck, might be one of those times in my life where I have to alter my personality permanently again.

A tough lesson that took me a long time to learn.... solid point.

You know Ranger....your the kind of guy I know I'd get along with. Your the kind of guy I'd have a beer with or a cigar with, and shoot the breeze about **** that actually matters

carry on bro, my opinion..if women can't realize what your worth phuck em! It gets frustrating as hell, I am in a similar situation, but...

ya whatever, I don't really have any advice for ya lol...my friends and my crew at the FD think I should write a book about all my ****luck experiences that usually have some crazy ending...

I'm lurking this every update..stay cool killa!

Really easy

Give your hobbies, career & friends precedence over time spent with azzholes. Goals and keeping busy will do more for you mental health than anything else. You'll also develop a healthy disdain for the irresponsible and the lazy along the way

The behaviour you're displaying isn't alien to me. Wasn't all that different when I dropped out of a stressful, time-consuming work environment and ended up having a lot of time and directionless energy on my hands for a while







Unless there's something you aren't telling us, your boss was completely out of line. If mine did that, I'd take him aside and tear a king-sized strip off him

My name is Solomonlike and I approved this message! 99+1.

Wow, what has happened to the dating scene over 30? I have been out of the game but it sounds like these women are a nightmare. I'm sorry you are going through this, Ranger.

I was in ban camp for 4 months for posting about a banned substance.

lmao

Thanks buddy. I appreciate it. What FD are you with? (pm me if you don't want it public)Boss is a woman. If it was a man, I would have ended up in jail for putting him in a coma. I have zero tolerance for stupid, worthless males. That's the funny part. I'm very intolerant of crappy men because I have standards I expect in day to day interactions but with women I constantly give them the benefit of the doubt.

I also have zero time and directionless energy. I'm in a double-full time school schedule (24 units) of extremely hard material to get into a career that's extremely stressful and I also work on top of that. It's not like I'm twiddling my thumbs and making up drama for fun.