The theme through this thread, in case you haven't noticed, is that I take people for their word and that I give a clean slate to everyone for at least a date. Yes, I get burned and flaked on. Yes, it's frustrating. No, I'm not going to change who I am and assume every woman I meet is an ******* who wants to fck me over. Yes, I hear CONSTANT stories from women while they laugh about how they use guys for free meals, etc but I'm not going to go red-pill about all this. One day (hopefully) I'll meet someone who isn't a certifiable retard with weird issues and I don't want to fck that up by coming into the situation all bitter and upset. I'll keep going until I get it right. It's led me to meet some amazing people before and I'm not going to change it now.

Spoken like a true master.

Respond, not react.

Wish you the best of luck on it.

I had a serious conversation with one of my brothers over Thanksgiving. Apparently I've gone "red-pill" and what you said above is almost verbatim of his advice to me. It was quite powerful once I reflected and reading it again here from you resonances even further. I'm not sure I'm up for it though.

Nonetheless, powerful and wise words.

How you respond to adversity is generally what defines you as a man.

Resilience is an important quality in this game. It's hard to learn but so important.

There is a middle ground and one that doesn't have you travel hours out of your way for a date. Being sensible is not red pill it's just good sense.

Yeah I think it is a good way to look at things as well. I've certainly found myself trying to read too much what women are "actually" saying and not believing them most of the time. However, I think a middle ground approach makes more sense like above poster is talking about, I would not drive several hours to meet someone, not knowing if they will show up or not..even if they say they will. Actual if there was 100% confirmation they would be there I would not go either, like how are you going to sustain a relationship with that kind of distance? Guess it depends on where you live and what is out there, I am in a big city so I don't have to go to far to find women.

"I should never take a girl to a place with friends there on a first date"

I'm inclined to agree with this. More pressure, more people to impress, more people to entertain, your date isn't going to be 100% focused on you, etc. etc. I wouldn't want to meet up with a chick who is going to be with friends.

I'll throw my last year or so in...

September-December:
- See most beautiful woman I've ever seen (srs) around at work in a diff department
- Only see her scarcely and when I see her she's with other people
- Decide Iwillgo talk to her and ask her out next time she's alone
- Finally catch her alone and make a move
- Have a basic ~5 min or so convo that goes okay I guess
- Ask for number and get turned down... "I don't give my number to strangers"
- She tells me next time she sees me she'll give me her number
- Made eye contact once thereafter and she just looked away
- Haven't seen since

As soon as she rejected me I knew she wasn't interested, even if she did claim she would give me her number next time she saw me. I'm not that naive thankfully. Tbh I probably shouldn't even have asked for her number based on how the convo was going. Boring (professional) environment and no real way to properly escalate. But, I told myself I would 100% ask no matter what. I think that's what screwed me. Should have played the long game, found on her social media, went from there. Probably would have been the same result but whatever. I still think about her because she was legit a 10/10 in my eyes. Oh well.

January:
- Meet at bar
- Same profession, diff department
- Get number
- Text for a few days
- Go on shtty first date... She's visibly nervous. Gets on her phone once or twice
- Ignore red flags for some reason because I was on a cold streak
- She let me over the first night but wouldn't let me smash
- Keep in contact and a couple of weeks later I smash
- Start kind of dating for a few months
- Turns out to be psycho and we just aren't a good fit
- Break it off on somewhat good terms around August
- I end up moving and we rarely ever talk to her unless it's a happy birthday or something

November:
- Move to new location
- Meet girl at gym
- Get her number
- Text her a bit
- Convo doesn't go very far (I was last to reply to her)
- Bound to see her around but not expecting much
edit: - Permanent N.C. she's been ignoring my texts. Hopefully it isn't too weird when I see her.


I put off online dating for a very long time but I think it might be best to hop back on and really put forth some type of effort for a little while based on how things are going. To my credit, I've been focusing on myself A LOT these past few months, but I'm beginning to wonder at what cost.

I'm honestly not looking for a relationship, just cool girls to chill with and smash.

I look at it like I'm going to MMA practice. Whether you like it or not, you're going to get hit in the face. You're going to get kicked, thrown, tapped, beat up, you name it. Knowing it's going to happen, you either accept it, learn from it, adapt to it and continue on or you go in with a bad attitude about it and suffer anyway.

You're going to get flaked on, ghosted and mentally abused in the dating game. That's life. Hell, look at what some of the women say in here and you can realize that there's a lot of mental instability out there and that's just a tiny percentage of what you're going to deal with. But if it's going to happen, you have to control the only aspect you can which is how you respond to it.One of my favorite posters in here <3Sure. But after talking for 2 weeks to someone on a daily basis, I would assume (incorrectly) that when they say they want want to meet me, they're telling the truth. In my logical mind, why would someone want to waste 2 weeks of their time talking to a guy only to flake on him after he goes to see her? Of course, that's me using logic when in reality the orgasm she probably had that night fingering herself knowing she had some amount of control over some guy was probably the best thing ever. Regardless, not my problem anymore. I did see her back on tinder a couple days before I deleted my account though. She obviously hasn't found someone to date. I wonder why...If you read the posts around that, it was explained. Normally I'd 100% agree with you but when I ask (3 times) if she's sure she wants to go to trivia night where I have friends going as well and she specifically says she does, I'm inclined to believe that she's ok with it. Granted, once again, that's me using logic. In reality, "I'd love to" means "Absolutely not" and I'm somehow supposed to know that but I'm not at that level yet.

Hate to be the typical sinister miscer, but saying one thing and meaning another is all too real with women brah.

I'm not disagreeing. But when I confirm (twice) after the initial asking, I'm going to take someone's word for it. I'm not going to play the "well maybe she meant X instead of Y" crap. That's too much mental gymnastics for me.

Don't blame you at all man. You asked, they answered. Should be the end of story. But, it would be a perfect up world if they told the truth and that was they end of it.

March 2015:
Meet girl at a bar
Date her for almost a year...
Amazing person
Loves me
Great sex
I lose feelings
Break up with her
(Still talk to her)

May 2016:
Meet girl at a rave
blonde girl 5'5 tight body, beautiful face
We click instantly (Thanks mdma)
We date for 6 months
I lose feelings 5 months in
She loves me
I break up with her...
(She got crazy, had to block her and cut all contact after break up)

Nov 2016:
-I'm single now, here we go!
-Slaying tinder left and right
-Invite girls over one for me one for my friend
-My girls friend is obnoxious and extremely rude
-Text my tinder girl to leave the room and hit my bedroom
-Says no
-Tell them both to leave and for her to lose my number

This Week:
-Talking to another girl tonight(Girl1)
-Super chill, we talk on the phone for hours(three nights in a row)
-I start to get that weird feeling I get when I know girls are in to me
-I tell her I have to go
-Another tinder girl wants me to call her(Girl2)
-Text Girl1 that I called Girl2
-Girl1 obviously sad in texts
(Also blew off Girl1 today...)

The phuck is wrong with me. It doesnt matter how chill,nice, smart, funny or beautiful a girl is I always get cold feet when I get that feeling. Also I'm a huge ahole to women. I want to be nicer(?). The thought of being trapped to one girl always gives me the creeps every single time. I just like to smash girls I guess. Better stay single. Emotionallyunavailablebrah780 I guess.

Age: 21

You're basically the reason that girls say they hate *******s and yet they still go for them. You're a walking stereotype. I mean, do your thing. Just understand you're basically a douchebag to a T.

I find it so cringey that people actually use the events of this log as leverage against you in arguments as if how fuucked up a lot of the women you've encountered are is any definitive statement about you.

Keep doing what you're doing man, I feel like something good is coming for you. And I know you wouldn't, but please don't let any of these losers get to you when they use this log against you. I get a TON of reps all the time from people who tell me they appreciate my log and are learning from it, and I truly feel like if these logs can help others deal with the shiity hands they've been dealt or the weird women they've met, then they have done their job.

this to the 100th percentile

OP not sure if you already got this question but do you think your time in the 75th Ranger Regiment has caused you to have the mental fortitude to deal with all the ghosting and flakes? I mean a lesser man probably would have given up by now.

I feel like I can't justify dating right now though. There are pretty much little to no pros.

You say you're an ahole to women and that you want to be nice but you can't.

That's some next level weak **** bro. You're a man, if you want to act a certain way (being nice) then you fcking do it. There's no excuses for that crap. Check to see where your testicles are. If they're in the right place, take a look in the mirror and act accordingly.

You don't have to date anyone. Just don't act like a douchebag to people and pretend you're not a douchebag in general. Smash all you want, just be honest about it up front so these women don't go into their next relationship with tons of baggage because of guys like you.

Funny question that I ask myself from time to time.

In a few ways, being in the 75th made me able to handle damn near anything. For instance (and I never really tell anyone about this kind of stuff), I've been hospitalized soooo many times that I should have been dead a dozen times over. I bounce back constantly. I've had hardship times where I think most men would have folded. I don't say that to make myself sound better than anyone, I just think my experiences prepared me for that. Serving where I did made me able to compartmentalize many aspects of my life that have helped me tremendously.

As far as the dating game goes, I think it ruined me in a lot of ways. I think my emotional maturity for dating took awhile to catch up to "normal" guys because I lacked experience while I served. I was too busy going to war and training all the time. I think, for years after getting out, I couldn't emotionally connect with women because their problems (You have NO idea how hard I worked, I'm a server at a restaurant!!!!!!) are so trivial that I couldn't logically connect the dots. I think it made me cold in a way that keeps me alive but also makes me emotionally distant.

As far as getting flaked on and ghosted, my time in the 75th helps me be resilient. I bounce back, I tell myself to get back on my feet no matter what, I move forward always, etc. But, in reality, I'm better at dealing with severe, no **** world is about to end problems and sometimes I still feel like I'm playing catch-up with "when a girl says X she really means Y" problems. I'm working on it but it's anyone's call at this point.

Thank you for asking this by the way. It made me think about it and I haven't done that in a little while.

Lol. It's cringe-worthy for sure but it's insecurity based so I see right through that crap. It's no big deal.

And thank you, I really appreciate it. I also get some reps and a few PM's from people in here. I think a lot of people have been struggling with similar things and I think the dating logs (yours especially) have helped a lot of people realize they aren't the only ones getting **** on by women in the modern era. I think a lot of guys in here are frustrated and it manifests itself differently. I hope the few guys who find a sort of support structure in this forum can use these dating logs to help them along the way.

Plus, it's a good break from the "I'm 5'6, should I kill myself?" threads.

It's 100% a dick move, but I can see why people would think that way.

We see all these logs and stuff through such a pinhole. Aside from like you and James, I don't think anyone from this board has ever met IRL. We have no clue how posters come across in person. Then we get 1 or 2 paragraphs about a date, no idea of what's being included or left out, and nothing from the woman's perspective of things so we are missing half the story right there.

It's kind of like those old misc comics
Spoiler!

So Ranger is like 0-for-20 on his dates and generally getting **** on along the way, and all we can really do is speculate as to why. IMO, he's always come across as a guy who has his **** together, but he's also the lowest common denominator in all of this so who knows.

Honestly, for the brahs on this board who are legitimately trying to work out their problems, an hour in person with misc brahs would probably be more useful than a dozen threads. Without seeing what people are actually like IRL, especially with regard to nonverbal communication, all anyone can really do is guess at problems and then run in circles with the "yes but" games.

Completely agree.

I have been told (for what it's worth) that I'm the same in person as I am over phone, text, message board, etc. I write how I speak so to say. That's what my creative writing professor in college told me as well. I also try to check my ego about 16 trillion times a day so I don't make crap up in order to make myself sound better or cooler than whatever I post. The big part missing is exactly what you mentioned though, the perspective from the woman. Hell, I would LOVE to have the perspective from the woman but instead I get ghosted or flaked on. This is especially frustrating after they spend 20 minutes the date before telling me how amazing and awesome I am. Why blow that much smoke up someone's ass if you're going to ghost them? It makes no sense to me but you're right again that I am the common denominator so unless I rolled the unlucky dice, it's obviously something with me. Or, as a few people have said, maybe women really are that insecure that they can't handle that I'm honest and straightforward? I hope that's not the case because I'm fcked if it is.

He explained it ,but honestly even before I was hearing 7.62x39 and x54 crack around me in the 'stan I was pretty much got over being ghosted. Granted I don't maintain the outlook that Ranger has (seemingly believes its the women he's meeting and not himself), but if yeah. Once rejections/flakes reach into the triple digits you just get kinda "eh" about it.

Well if you find out "what your problem is" by all means let me know. We both seem to suffer from the exact same problem.

Disagree with this but ok.

I get attention from women, it's just never the women I want attention from.

Chicks out of looooong relationships
Chicks that are legit 5150 cases
Chicks that are married and want to get divorced and somehow latch on to me
Chicks that are engaged and don't want to marry the guy they're engaged to
Chicks that want to get married after 30 seconds of talking

I can attract those women 8 days a week. Hell, the last story from a couple weeks ago with the married woman who told me she was falling in love with me and all that. Yeah, she's beautiful. But I'm not a dirtbag so I didn't do anything. I just saw a mutual picture posted online of her getting her Christmas tree with her man. Lol. Classic. I haven't heard from her since that night. This is the standard type of thing that happens to me. Normal, sane, good women. It happens but it's rare. Why do I attract psychos and damaged women? Am I that stable? I don't know, I don't compare myself to other dudes, I just live my life. I just seem to attract certain types that make me want to carve my eyes out with a spoon.

From what I've seen Ranger, I think Otaku would say the same heh. Just he gets obese women it seems and chicks that don't make his cawk stand to attention.

My two cents like Vick said, I enjoy the logs cause it gives me wider perspective, that there a many of us going through the struggle so to speak. You just gotta keep moving. I don't take any negative past experiences into future dates / talking to women, but when I get ghosted after they spend the next day etc saying how much of a great time they had and they want to do it again bla bla, that's when I get pissed off, I say it takes two days to process then I'm back on the horse.

Small one from me:

-Older girl at work, get out for drinks last weekend with others.
-Start really getting in each others space at the bar, lots of dirty dancing etc.
-Walk her back to the station, holding hands etc, part ways.
-Talk most of the weekend, then soon as work comes along, the replies reduce to emojis.
-Stop texting, I'm not looking to make myself look desperate.


Maybe its a good thing, I got burned from my last relationship with a work colleague in my previous role when it ended, but oh well, I think I played my hand way too early saying I liked her and stuff on the Friday (hey alcohol!).

Just got the number of a new prospect, will it be a flake before date or a ghost afterwards, time will tell.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to US_Ranger again.

Thats pretty much the same man. Obese women, and single moms that are trying to settle down since that clock is ticking.

What is wrong with this? (assuming it hasn't been a week)

Shows they are committed to me. I would rather this than the wh0res on dating sites who are 40 and their longest relationship has been under a year. Tells alot about them IMO.