Yeah haven't gotten that yet lol. But people do ask because it seems I have things together.

Really US_Ranger's posts about this make me want to steer away from online dating more. It can be pretty toxic to ones psyche and you do meet a certain subset of people that are hyperselective and you deal with girls who have multiple guys in the background. Had that happen late 2015 with a 21 year old. It was just a fling a few times. I saw her phone and GODDAMN messages left and right from guys.

Yea it's interesting, I have a friend who legit has a white picket fence, big house in a nice neighborhood, husband has a fancy job where he makes a lot of money. On the surface she has everything, behind the scenes her husband a cheap jerk who charges her rent when he makes 3x what she does, makes her pay for her own groceries, she was working two jobs just to make ends meet while hes making six figures. She has reoccurring dreams of her ex boyfriends. They never do anything, every weekend she sits at home watching him play video games, on top of that he's fat and unattractive. But she got what was important to her a two carat ring and a house in the burbs.


Well I disagree with you disagreeing

I never said not to give someone a chance based on their childhood, job or anything else you listed. If you're dating someone who is doing or saying things that are raising red to you, walk away. Why would you continue to give them a chance to hurt you or waste your time?

Couple down the road from us, super materialistic, guy made a big deal about how much he makes, wifey boasted about not having to work, kids have latest toys, motorbikes etc.

Anyway, they started swinging because their marriage wasn't working and then wifey went fully lez and bailed on him and the kids.

Almost like they were focussed on the wrong goals but there you go.

get after that new prospective hottie brother!

Also, contrary to what you believe, and I read all your explanations about why you give everyone a FAIR chance....you NEED to follow your gut more. Being in the military teaches you A LOT about first impressions. I would imagine anyways, being able to read people and their probable future actions being very important in that line of work...your life depends on it. That said, you get burned a lot manana...learn to step away from the red flags a little more. It seems you do moreso now than you did in the beginning of your log since you have started to see how giving EVERYONE a fair chance backfires a lot. You are the ****, you know so, don't give everyone a fair shot, but rather the ones who DESERVE IT

just my opinion

Yes, the only benefit of online dating that I find is when Tinder or Bumble matches you with a friend of a ******** friend who you know IRL, and then you can ask that friend about the potential date.

Kind of like if you are at a friend's party and meet a single friend, and then you can ask the host about that person before you invest much time.

But meeting strangers is just a crapshoot. That's why my parents always said that bars were a terrible place to meet someone before online dating.

My female friend went on match and OKCupid, and said the same guys were on there 5 years ago!

t h i s

OP: Been going through briefly and...

- What's your opinion on compromise? and;

- To what degree are you willing to compromise?

Hey, sorry I missed this.

Compromise is key for anything in life other than war....and even then sometimes compromise happens.

What degree am I willing to compromise? As much as needed as long is it doesn't interfere with my core values. I'll compromise on a lot of things, hell, I'll even compromise on picking up and moving somewhere since I'm not really tied down to any one spot. I'll go the extra mile to accommodate another person, I just don't want to be taken advantage of and I don't want to do anything that changes the principles in life I have.

It's funny you say this.

I feel that I have a crazy good first impression when it comes to guys. I can spot a fraud a mile away (in real life at least). I know instantly when I come across insecure men. I know when someone is hiding their fear, it's almost palpable.

When it comes to women I'm too quick to give them a chance when I shouldn't. This is true up until the time when they ****-test me or do something stupid or brag (I hate bragging) and then I shut them out.

I come from a crappy upbringing in many ways and that I've been shut down so many times without given a chance because of it. I don't want to be the same when it comes to dating someone just because they might have a red flag in their past. Not everyone grows up rich or with mommy and daddy around and a lot of people can overcome that. Unfortunately, it's been a rough effort so far finding that.

Red flags to many is coming from a broken household or maybe being jaded by some bad things in their past. I don't necessarily see some of these things are red flags.

As it's shown in here, my entire life is a red flag to dating western, American women. I'm pretty sure you and I (maybe it was someone else) have disagreed about this in the past. I've been called out numerous times in this forum as a child who's afraid of commitment, as someone who's too much of a pussy to settle down, as someone who can't hack it in real life, etc. I can see why people would assume these things about me but that's not who I am and I find it unfair that I'm judged for something like that. Granted, I don't get to say who does and doesn't judge me, I just have to deal with. So when I get a chance to date someone, I don't want to do that from the start. Everyone has their initial impressions and judgement, sure. After that, while things are getting figured out, I give a chance in case someone comes from alternative places where maybe things didn't work out. Maybe they're afraid they'll get dumped, maybe they're embarrassed by something in their past. I can't say I'll deal with it but I'll at least hear them out, sometimes a little longer than I should.

This doesn't count straight up personality problems like being an absolute c-u-n-t or something like that. I won't put up with that and I don't even see it as a red flag, I see it as someone being a piece of crap human being.

UPDATE:

-Only getting 1-2 calls every other day or so from 19 year old, comes from an unknown number since I blocked her, no idea who it keeps coming through but whatever, no voicemails can be left so I don't care



-21 year old almost got me into a fight at a sporting event
-She mouthed off to 2 drunk guys and then they turned to her and got rowdy so I had to step in
-I calmed the situation down but only because I'm 35 now and not 25. If this was 10 years ago, I'd be in jail right now for wrecking homeboy this weekend. I wanted to bash his face in.
-After the situation was calmed down, I got mad at 21 year old for putting me in that situation
-She couldn't understand why it mattered even when I explained to her how a woman mouthing off to a man means the man she's with (me) has to intervene when things get stupid because no guy is going to allow the woman he's with to get her ass beat even if she starts it
-After some arguing with her (I stayed calm even during arguing) she finally apologized and I could tell she felt bad
-Fcking pissed me off to no end though, reminded me of every youtube video where the woman runs around yelling "SHTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP" as dudes are swinging on each other after the woman started the whole ordeal


She's a complete sweetheart and she's nice to me, I just have nothing in common with her and I don't see eye to eye with her on anything in life other than we both care about pursuing our dreams (whatever they are). She's young, idealistic to the utmost degree and still in a bit of that party phase. I'm not that person. I know what I really need to do (stop seeing her) but there's no real reason to stop seeing her other than I'm not on the same page. Like I said, she's a sweetheart (other than the story I posted) and I'm at a bit of a crossroads with where to go. If she would have given me a legit reason to stop seeing her, I would have done it but she's accommodating and good to me. I don't dislike spending time with her, I have fun. I just don't have any spark. Kinda sucks to be honest but that's life. All relationships are doomed to fail except for the one that doesn't. The writing is on the wall, I just need to tread carefully on how to handle it.

What was her defense for mouthing off and why did she mouth off to them in the first place?

Both guys had their girlfriends with them. Both of them had been drinking. One of them didn't want to let it go and started with the:

"Put your fcking phone away and get the fck out"

and

"That's right, walk the fck away"

^---This was said as the other guy finally started to walk off. Of course that caused him to come back and argue with the idiot who was instigating a bit more.

The chick I was with mouthed off because she felt the need to stand up for the guy who was getting berated by the other drunk guy. Two grown ass adults arguing (and drinking) to show off for their 5/10 girlfriends at a sporting game. And one of them wanting to get told by his girlfriend that he's tough or some **** like insecure men always want to do.

So yeah, she felt the need to stand up for injustice or some crap. In other words, she felt the need to get me involved so I'd have to break this piece of crap in half for no reason other than the fact that she can't understand social situations and how things actually work.

keep beating up that pussy like an everlast punching bag bro!

might as well if you got no other options besides palmela and handgela!

Eh, not really worth it though. Of course I'm saying that since I got laid this weekend but sticking around for sex is never worth it in my opinion. Sure it's fun and all but I want to actually not want to leave the instant I blow my load. I'd like a reason to stay around and hang out and have something to talk about.

Why would this girl feel the need to get in the middle of a fight that has nothing to do with her? I don't understand how someone can over hear two people arguing in a bar and decide to interject themselves in the middle of it when it has zero to do with her. She sounds like a total idiot if she's mouthing off to some drunk guy at a bar.

Age: 35

Ever been on youtube? Liveleak? Worldstarhiphop?

Non-stop fights started by women mouthing off and then their "man" getting involved when things escalate. It's a goddamn joke and it's a reminder that we aren't that far from apes after all. Hell, there have been a couple women here (won't mention names) who have openly admitted that they go full retard when drinking and don't seem to understand the repercussions of it. Instigating fights is nothing new. As a man, I have to stand up for her even if she technically starts it too. I'm not going to let her get hit/shoved/etc by some dude who's drunk. It's a no-win situation.

Yep, so?

Well your not making friendships first, your just meeting broads. Member the movie rocky, where he drops in everyday on Adrian at the pet shop, and is just a friend, checks on her,helps her. Your capable brah.

I feel you 100% but sometimes you just take what you can get I guess

Sounds like too much drama for me. Wood rather hang out with my 3 cats in bed and snuggle on these cold nights.

Bumping for an update

Sounds like your girl has a heart, I don't blame her for saying something. The 1 dude was obviously the bigger man and bullying the other guy really. Would be hard for me not to step in during a situation like that. I can't stand watching people get mistreated/bullied, especially when undeserved. Sometimes I wish laws were different.

lmao foreveralone catlady

If the woman is gonna open her mouth and start a verbal altercation while fully accepting she will be responsible for any physical escalation, then that's fine. This situation was not that. This was a classical 'have your cake and eat it too' moment.

Most men tend to be much more judicious about the situations into which they interject, as their intrusion may result in getting hit in the face. Most women walk around in a daydream believing they can say or do whatever they want sans physical repercussion. It's alarming.

I was actually going to let this thread die but you bumped it so I'll go ahead and embarrass myself royally on here. If anything, maybe some of the younger guys can learn from my mistakes on this one.

Sooooooo......

The end of February was non-stop school and finals. I had a written 8 hour final and an 8 hour skills final to wrap up the 21 units I was taking since last September. Every free moment was either gym, sleep or studying in the library. I consider myself an intelligent person but this was next level in terms of effort put forth. Even though I did really well in the class, I had to prove to the instructors that I was the guy who would go the extra mile because clinicals and internships are the next phase and it's highly competitive.

So I was in the middle of an 8 hour study session the day before the written final and the 21 year old waitress texts me that she needs to talk. I tell her I'm busy and that it'll have to wait until after the final. She says it's important and that she's on the way to my class area and I should talk to her outside. Great.

I walk out there and she's standing near her car:

Her: Hey....I need to tell you something
Me: What?
Her: It's embarrassing and I understand if you don't want to talk to me after this
Me: <nervous as fck now thinking she's pregnant even though she has an IUD> What do you have to tell me?
Her: I just got results back from an STD test and I tested positive for chlamydia
Me: .......
Her: I understand if you don't want to talk to me again
Me: You told me you were clean and that you were just tested a month ago? <I get on my phone and start looking or signs and symptoms because now I'm nervous as fck>
Her: Look at me
Me: Did you lie to me?
Her: I slept with my ex right when we started seeing each other
Me: Then why did you tell me you were clean? You said you were tested and clean. You told me this so we didn't have to use condoms anymore.
Her: I'm sorry


That's basically how the convo went, it's still fresh in my mind even though it was a few weeks ago. I grabbed my stuff, went to the VA facility and got blood work and pee tests done. Results? Positive for Chlamydia. Yep, bitch gave me an STD.

I blocked her on social media. She then texts me saying how she deserves to be treated better than that. I couldn't believe the **** she was saying. Crap like:

-I deserve better than this
-Why are you upset that I slept with someone that I was once in love with?
-I deserve to be treated like a decent person

^---Basically every possible mental gymnastics ploy went into play. A case study could have been done on this ****. Lashing out at me for blocking her when she LIED to me and gave me chlamydia. She couldn't get that wrapped around her mind, she didn't feel as if she did anything wrong. I finally sent one long text to her explaining that actions have consequences and that the YOLO lifestyle only works when you don't fck other people over in their lives which is exactly what she did with me. Complete astonishment on her part, she could not understand where I was coming from. I blocked her number after that and haven't spoken to her since.

Before anyone gets grossed out on me, I did my research and apparently this is a bacterial infection that is gone within 2 weeks after antibiotics so it doesn't stay with you. I lost some serious sleep over this one though and this was the night before my 8 hour written final. I slept maybe 2 hours that night. Still got a 90% on it. Fck her. Oh yeah, she also couldn't understand how her timing was terrible in telling me all this. Lol, classic.

Anyway, that's my update. 19 year old finally stopped blowing my phone up too, haven't heard from her in a week. I had to leave California for training last week, just got back Saturday after a week doing government **** for training and back to the grind. March is looking like 4/5 of it will be work/clinicals so free time will be as minimal as possible but that's life. I'm afraid of going on a date with anyone until this **** is all cleared up and I feel stupid as fck for believing this whore but that's on me for ever trusting someone. Lesson learned.

I was in charge of the entire class of 40+ students during training so I didn't get much sleep last week. Trying to make up for it now and also get all my errands done, taxes, etc. Also got accepted into the internship I wanted and that's as much of a blessing as possible. Almost everyone in our class was turned down for the area and I somehow landed it so I feel good about that. Now it's time to double down on the workload and finish the next few months out.

Also saw Logan in theaters. Haven't been to a movie in forever. Good movie, R rating is waaaaay better than PG-13.

Nah dude. Sounds like cope on your part and you don't strike me as the cope type so I'm not sure where this is coming from.

If a chick runs her mouth to a couple d-bags being d-bags, that means I have to get involved if I'm there with her. That's selfishness on her part, even if indirectly. If a chick wants to live in fantasy land where she can go cause fights without consequence then she needs to re-evaluate things because I don't want to be a part of that. I'm trained in fighting, hell I even fought in the ring before. I don't put myself in situations where it's time to brawl unless absolutely needed. I don't want some YOLO chick to get me into an altercation where she, myself or some random person gets hurt.

In that scenario, after some chest puffing, everything was fine. That's how 99% of altercations go and nothing else needs to be done. Let one of them be embarrassed because he got punked if needed, no one needs to get their face smashed in. If you feel the need to fly off the handle in situations like that, you're going to end up getting stabbed/shot if you aren't careful. It's not worth it.

Ugh, that is disgusting. Tinder is creating an epidemic of chlamydia with the Millennials.

I am so happy to be celibate for almost 4 months now!!! Thank you for reinforcing that with your story, yuck.

holy fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

wow