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ยป Post ACTUAL red flags that may not be initially obvious in women (SRS)
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post 1504818561 05-15-2017, 01:54 AM
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Originally Posted By onaed
Your hobbies are her hobbies
She idolizes you and gives you total focus
She mirrors you

All feel great and amazing. All indicators of borderline personality.
Go on...
post 1504818611 05-15-2017, 01:55 AM
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#62
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
No I looked into this just for myself when I was trying to figure out wtf was happening in my divorce. It was a really traumatic time and a lot of crazy stuff happened that was way outside the range of a normal breakup.

In general I deal with my problems by trying to understand them so I started reading online trying to resolve this extreme cognitive dissonance I was experiencing, and once I got to cluster b/codependency dynamics everything made sense.
You were codependent to your ex?
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post 1504818761 05-15-2017, 02:00 AM
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She gets needy with texts, aka sending too many texts before you reply

Not replying for days/ day and she's posting on fb but the minute she gets bored or needs something blows up your phone/hits you up

Assumes your going to pay on the first date and doesn't offer to go Dutch.

Says she's bi and doesn't want to do a threesome, I am bi, I've known I was bi since I was 8 at a sleep over and realized I was attracted to my friend.

She hasn't been in a relationship for years
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post 1504818771 05-15-2017, 02:00 AM
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Originally Posted By Highwind7
when she tries to talk and contribute to the conversation. I'm honestly quite surprised that many females have the need to talk back to you when you say something.
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post 1504819671 05-15-2017, 02:16 AM
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Originally Posted By snailsrus
She gets needy with texts, aka sending too many texts before you reply

Not replying for days/ day and she's posting on fb but the minute she gets bored or needs something blows up your phone/hits you up

Assumes your going to pay on the first date and doesn't offer to go Dutch.

Says she's bi and doesn't want to do a threesome, I am bi, I've known I was bi since I was 8 at a sleep over and realized I was attracted to my friend.

She hasn't been in a relationship for years
so would you be down for a threesome?
Ain't nothin' like a Saturday night at Tyrone's
post 1504820461 05-15-2017, 02:38 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
Yes these are red flags for cluster b personality disorders. I learned about those the hard way unfortunately.
dated a borderline also, almost got engaged.

The most violtile high/low insane relationship I've ever been in. I'm happily with someone now but I'd be lying if my ex and I weren't like a damn drug I sometimes miss..

Those highs were great and man oh man, those lows.. yeah, I don't like thinking about some of that stuff I went through and I'm sure you did as well
Truth is out there
post 1504820591 05-15-2017, 02:40 AM
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post 1504820881 05-15-2017, 02:48 AM
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#68
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
Yes, mostly in the emotional sense (too attached, loved him too much, he was my world, I was too devastated when it ended) and also in the more traditional sense (trying to fix his various addictions and personality issues).

I did a lot of self help reading and counseling after the divorce and in a future relationship will hold back my feelings more so I don't lose myself again in someone else like that and will try to choose a healthier person also.

When a relationship ends there should be appropriate sadness and grief but the complete emotional devastation that I felt is not normal and now I know to avoid that excessive attachment in the future.
In a hypothetical sense how would you want a guy to treat you in a relationship?
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post 1504820961 05-15-2017, 02:48 AM
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Forget red flags lads, the truth is that a sloot will always wander, literally or in fantasy, if you're not an alpha malein her mind

Look around you, 90% of marriage dramas in modern society is the angst displayed by a female unsatisfied with the beta provider she settled for,
and the frustration of the beta provider as he tries unsuccessfully to figure out why providing more for her doesn't solve the problem


A females only loyalty is to her vagina tingles, srs

And it doesn't take much to keep a female excited
Choose the restaurant, don't take chit from her, spontaneous dates
Thats it
post 1504821451 05-15-2017, 03:04 AM
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post 1504821501 05-15-2017, 03:08 AM
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She has an adam's apple
post 1504821511 05-15-2017, 03:09 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
Yes, mostly in the emotional sense (too attached, loved him too much, he was my world, I was too devastated when it ended) and also in the more traditional sense (trying to fix his various addictions and personality issues).
I feel like my gf is like you were. But from my point of view, I kinda like the attention despite knowing something is probably up with her mentally. She puts up with a lot, non-stop, including my past which isn't 'ideal' (divorced, child from a previous relationship, former drug addiction, and more). Calls me her 'prince' and buys me gifts constantly. She also has a high-end career and degree whilst I make much less and have basically cruised through my career so far in chitty dead-end desk jobs.
post 1504821551 05-15-2017, 03:11 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
Well my ex seemed to treat me good but he had a secret life and was cheating extensively and had personality and addiction issues that are incompatible with a healthy relationship or real emotional connection. So for me the main thing is to choose a healthier person and to not get so overly attached again.
So you were just oblivious and had Beauty and the Beast stockholm syndrome. How did you find out about the cheating?
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post 1504821841 05-15-2017, 03:22 AM
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#74
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Originally Posted By PatronHeineken
I feel like my gf is like you were. But from my point of view, I kinda like the attention despite knowing something is probably up with her mentally. She puts up with a lot, non-stop, including my past which isn't 'ideal' (divorced, child from a previous relationship, former drug addiction, and more). Calls me her 'prince' and buys me gifts constantly. She also has a high-end career and degree whilst I make much less and have basically cruised through my career so far in chitty dead-end desk jobs.
Keep improving yourself. Women are associated with "Potential status" as much status itself.
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post 1504821871 05-15-2017, 03:23 AM
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#75
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They have a penis.
I have a dream, that one day, my username will be ironic.

Chairman of the purge.

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post 1504822261 05-15-2017, 03:34 AM
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Originally Posted By butwhowasgains
They have a penis.
You have a vagina
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post 1504822301 05-15-2017, 03:34 AM
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Originally Posted By iloveus
You have a vagina
i will rape you if i get the chance
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post 1504822351 05-15-2017, 03:36 AM
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there is no heart beat
post 1504822611 05-15-2017, 03:43 AM
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Originally Posted By butwhowasgains
i will rape you if i get the chance
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post 1504822981 05-15-2017, 03:53 AM
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1) Recently come out of a relationship

abort, abort
+**++**++**++**+ 100% DIET +**++**++**++**+
post 1504823031 05-15-2017, 03:54 AM
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Originally Posted By AussieAthletics
1) Recently come out of a relationship

abort, abort
Why?
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post 1504823261 05-15-2017, 04:00 AM
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post 1504823411 05-15-2017, 04:03 AM
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post 1504823721 05-15-2017, 04:10 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
Yes. Looking back it was obvious but I was very naive and in denial. He broke up with me and I did some detective work and found out everything.
What were the positives of the relationship?
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post 1504823841 05-15-2017, 04:11 AM
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Originally Posted By iloveus
piitb
I have a dream, that one day, my username will be ironic.

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post 1504824291 05-15-2017, 04:21 AM
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post 1504824301 05-15-2017, 04:21 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
Yes could be. Codependents basically just love too much and give too much. It's not healthy for either side and if you break up with her she might be completely devastated and feel like her world has ended.
I think she would. I actually did once, only two months into it, mostly because of misc mentality and it was a bit hasty on my part. May be something you'd do to a FWB but not in a relationship. Cut her off instantly for being disrespectful and she begged via multiple messages and crying hysterically on the phone, took her back and it's been great ever since with no issues.
post 1504824701 05-15-2017, 04:30 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
Lack of empathy

Extremely charming and charismatic

Assumes people are jealous

Tries to make you doubt your perception of small incongruences

Love bombing - not holding back in early stage of relationship when she doesn't even really know you yet
This is how I learned about BPD. Run, not walk away
post 1504824751 05-15-2017, 04:32 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
Are you a therapist or writing an article or why are you asking so many questions?

The positives were overwhelming, I really loved him very much and assumed that he loved me equally and that he was faithful so I was actually very happy with him. I liked a lot of aspects of his personality (very masculine, extraverted, ambitious, fun), I was very attracted to him, and he was also a very good provider.

I doubt I'll be able to find someone new with his good sides, and knowing that I likely won't be able to replace the good sides made the breakup even harder.
No I'm not a therapist. I'm just curious. It's more future stuff to know for the next time I'm in a relationship I guess. If you're at all uncomfortable you can stop replying or change the subject or just say something. Thanks for the info.
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post 1504824811 05-15-2017, 04:33 AM
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Originally Posted By naich
Horses
Excessive Social Media
Talks chit about her "girlfriends"
Has more guy friends than girlfriends
Outspoken feminist
No natural drive
Doesn't value hard work/workout
Bad with money
Divorced parents(only a minor yellow flag)
This x a big number
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