I just say "Hi" back. I basically mirror her effort. If she'd doesn't put in effort, the convo will die. No ****s given.

Hey freakSo if two Pondus' are talking it never gets past Hi

I use quid-pro-quo or tit-for-tat as a strategy in conversation and in life. I'll make an initial effort, and if she doesn't reciprocate I'm out. It's the only times I've ghosted women.

Ok I will apply what you guys say for the next time a chick messages me first...at least on Tinder or a dating site.

Friend of mine told me my ex threw all my stuff into my SUV then parked it down the road. Also got blocked from video chatting with my children because I said I wasn't going to be paying her mortgage (my names not on the house) anymore since she moved in her new boyfriend but she refuses to sign the divorce papers due to losing medical for her and the step son. Next R&R should be interesting I have several options my friend a damn good divorce attorney doing all my chit for free but he wants to do it dirty as she did me. However my gut is saying play it cool as karma is finally hitting her hard. I would prefer to work overseas for another year to buy a house outright, ultimately I am going with my gut instincts until I am situated stateside then decide on whether to drop the hammer or remain civil even though the other party isn't.

Inb4 dead beat dad, I still send prime pantry boxes of food every week, buy them clothes monthly and send 1k home for children's expenses (she only works one day a week....)

Confirmed cringe.Pondus' texts are always cringe and I'm a female who's had better success, but that doesn't say much because I'm a female so the odds are in my favor of attracting 8s and above online until I turn 60.

Not like it matters nor do I engage in the Tinder cawk carousel, but I do get turned off by cringey messages.

finally went on a date today, haven't done so in a long time. I don't think it went all that well, because she is not showing interest anymore. damx... kinda bummed.

Yeaaah....I'm going to need to see proof you're really that good looking you can attract 8s or 9s or else I don't believe you.

If she initiates and then doesn't follow up after I say "Hi" back, the why the **** did she msg me in the first place?Pretty sure you can keep the step-son on your medical until he is 26. Divorce doesn't matter.HAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAHA
























HA

Lol deadliftbrah no less than 35% bodyfat (4/10 max), always posting about chit that seems like it comes straight out of a disney television show meant for pre-teens, talkin chit about pondus who goes on regular dates because of his 'cringe' game... lollll

That's just how women are around California. In 40s/50s trying to get some younger Chads on their arm, in a futile attempt to stay forever young.

The truth is they are being pumped and dumped. Chad will move on and marry a 25 year old when he's in his late 30's.

Can confirm.

Need some help with a situation I currently am in. I will keep it as short as possible with cliffs. I am pretty much stuck in a situation which I don’t know what to do at this point because I feel like I have feelings for this chick but I somehow feel like I don’t have a chance with her.

- Known her for 2 years now
- Went out 3-4 times when we first met
- Felt friend zoned so we stopped hanging out and talking for about a year
- She was dating this guy we both knew and broke up in October last year
- She started commenting on my snaps recently around March since I changed a lot because of working out
- Started texting me daily and would start convos everyday
- Went out 5 times now and she’s keeps saying I never dated a guy like you, no guy has ever done stuff I’ve done for her, etc.
- At first she was always setting up dates with me so i never had to worry about that
- Now the contact is less and less and I initiate contact now and setup dates
- Not sure if she has feelings for me or I’m just someone she’s hanging out with
- Not sure how I should bring this up with her if I should just ask what she thinks about us if she wants to date or are we just friends
- One reason why I feel like I don’t have a chance with her is because she is a very known professional gamer and most gamer girls I know date pro gamer guys

Any advice or opinion would be great to help me with this situation I currently am in.

Thank You!

Have you actually made a move?

Secondly you're doing too much for her, pull back on her, match her levels of interest. You sound overinvested by miles.

Oh so Pondus now has 3 accounts: elterrible and HangerBaby. Just lol.

My trainer measured me at 19% body fat and then I relapsed. Anyone who attacks someone with a serious eating disorder about her size is just plain mean and that is what the Evil One wants so you're playing right into his hands. Good job.

I pray for you to learn compassion and empathy.

I've challenged Pondus to give up all dating apps and to go 6 months no texting, no talking to all women as many marriage and family counselors recommend this after a divorce so that the guy doesn't bring all of his baggage and issues into a 2nd or 3rd marriage.

After a divorce, it is recommended to heal, be alone, self reflect and find out who you really are and what went wrong with your last marriage.

He can't give up the women for a day, much less 6 months. I made it 5 months (2 times so 10 months in total! Once 3 years ago and just recently) no texting, no men, no sex, no nothing. It sucks but you learn to grow as a person and learn who you really are without the distraction of the Tinder messages, texting and constant noise.We don't want to marry 25 year old Chads who tell us to hang out with them from the gym with our seat belts on because then we might get past 2nd base and his parents won't approve. This is the type of nonsense that guys from the gym have pulled on me.

And the men in his late 30s who is trying to get a 25 year old woman isn't trying to stay forever young aka mid-life crisis?

At any rate, I now think age-appropriate relationship are more mutually satisfying because my tolerance for young guy BS is just gone now. I really don't want more children nor have the energy for that. The worst is when a 25 year old, childless guy gives me parenting advice, sigh.

Seeing someone over 40 who actually wants to video chat and talk vs. just text "haha" all day long, sends me good morning messages, and the interest just feels more mutual and not where it feels like she wants sex and he wants resources (aka free housing, meals, etc.) as is the dynamic of an older woman/younger man relationship. And if he is also a parent, then he understands my happiness and challenges.

Right now I am so turned off by men in their 20s with their non-stop drama and girlfriends who go through their phones and come after me with threats.

You basically admitted to her you get no action and that women do not deem you attractive enough to message you first. Women want desirable men, pure and simple so don't sell yourself short with lines like that.

If she would have messaged me hi, I would have read her profile and try to find something funny about it or just ask a question and then get into playful banter. With online women, don't leave it to her to engage you at the start as beta's are non stop engaging her.Oh ok, smoke show eh? Pics plsI don't blame him. Life is too short to take "breaks" so I occupy my mind/time with something new. Being a misc'er helps me disconnect in an instant. What a marriage/divorce councilor says is not the be all end all either and some are better than others. Many have different opinions. Based on my own experience, if things have gotten to the point of counselling, its prob game over as things never get better once they get bad.

Glad to hear you finally found somebody who respects you. Now make him wait a couple dates to confirm his intentions are true and do not tell him about your past issues and drama. Doing out and about type dates takes the expectation off so no netflix and chill

Oh Nedo I'd like to forget I was ever on online dating, but I have posted screen shots of past convos on here.

Then why did therapists tell me to take 10 month breaks from men? They knew that the younger men were hurting me psychologically, as that behavior was causing a lot of self-hate and trauma, anxiety and deep depression. They were right.

Well the problem is that he's long distance so the only "dates" are video chats. He's moving to another state now as he got a new job. I am trying to do my best to not slip up about past issues and trauma but then he asks why I cannot talk to him (I was in the therapist's office for an hour last night) and I told him I had a Dr. appointment, that lead to more questions and I guess he assumed I was meeting a guy. Sigh. How can you hide that you take 3 sets of medication daily and see a therapist?

To be honest, he has way more past drama than I do and big financial problems. It's just nice to see the difference in treatment, even if this is just a short-term thing.

First and foremost, I think you hurt yourself as what did you expect would happen when you are in your 40's and around 20 year old men? You actually think they would commit to you? Have some self respect! You shouldn't even be considering anybody 5 years younger than you IMO.

You are wasting your time with long distance dating. I'm seeing a girl who lives an hour away and I'm already seeing that it prob won't work because of distance and not being able to see each other as regularly as I would like. IMO, it is hard to build a strong connection with such barriers.

The world has debts, you just make sure he don't persuade you into coughing up cash to bail him out. Under NO circumstances. If it gets anywhere and if he is open to it, just look to offer advice to get him on his way financially. I don't see an issue with you offering your opinion on his business deals, especially if he is open to it.

So that half black/half white girl from long ago stopped by my birthday party last month. She seemed friendly. Told her we should catch up. She said "sure just as friends". For ****s and giggles I tried to set that up and she didnt respond. Also have learned she wants one of my white friends. One of the many that I have fed lines to in the past and texted women for because he cant.

Met a PAWG type white chick. Into video games, anime, and etc. She kept goingon and on and on and onabout how bored she is all the time and how she can't find a guy. Then before I could even capitilise on it she goes "we should chill sometimes since Im bored at my apartment". Texted twice to set up and she just stops replying midway through the convos.

Nuclear engineering girl that flaked on me like....8 months ago, randomly hit me up. Grabbed drinks, seemed to be having a decent time. She has also vanished off the face of the Earth

For ****s and giggles I downloaded the dating app "Coffee meets Bagel". Been 2 weeks and not a single match. You can actually set the race for that app so I've swiped through nothing but black women. Nothing.



I still have the fitness chick but she is out of town. So...we'll see how that goes when she gets back


I would not wish being objectively unattractive on my worst enemy

I wasn't trying to portray that, I was just making a joke about it because women normally don't message first...for any guy unless he's a 10/10. What would you have said if she had no profile info? Would you have commented on her pics?

Im surprised you havent picked up on this yet, but when anyone here posts their texts/messages?Their game is always bad/cringe. Bunz says my game is cringe. Then he proposed to a girl with a lolipopsucker ring and recorded it acting mega autistic. This just goes to show how much "game" doesnt really matter". If she likes your face/body, you arent weird? You're in.

So fuking bang on, your nor cal though right? In socal it is even worse, hate visiting my parents it's disgusting. I don't understand the thirst of men these days...would rather rub one out with sand paper then dink down an elderly.

Thanks Nedo.

The 20 year old men didn't start in my 40s. This all started when I was 34 living on my own in a little cottage, and I had an account on myspace. The guys who wrote me on there were 22-28 so the age gap wasn't that huge other than the fact that I had a baby and they didn't. Now the age gap is huge, as is the maturity level, with a 25 year old man since I'm 10 years older so the age difference is 20 years vs. 10 years older.

Well a local guy around my age wouldn't be happy only seeing me once a week under veiled circumstances unless he's a creep like the men I met my age on Tinder. I lost out on a guy from my high school who wanted a relationship, but I told him I could only see him once a week for a couple of hours. Now he's in a relationship with a woman whom he takes to 49er and Giants games because he said he wants more than just 1 hour a week. So I missed out.

The problem is that the real world still knows me as a married woman, so I try to keep men under wraps. Of course therapist doesn't recommend this either and has told me to divorce years ago. I took a 3 year break and I'm seeing her again and finally feel stabilized. I was crying nonstop. She's working on getting me divorced again without me having a major panic attack that I'm going to end up homeless, and broke. I am still terrified of dealing with lawyers and being on my own, and the religious people in my family and Bible study women all tell me to stay in the marriage and pray that we will fall in love again and be exclusive and happy together.

Long distance means no one in my town knows and it's an escape from my reality. Therapist wants me to stay present in my reality so I can feel the pain of living like this, and make appropriate decisions vs. escape is her theory.

Well yes, believe me, I've had plenty of young guys ask me to bail them out and pay their cell phone bill or buy them a new phone. My answer is hell no. I have lost some due to this but as I mentioned in Luc's thread, if someone is threatening me with money and cannot manage their money to expect me to bail them out, I let them walk.

So I would see long distance/young guys as a waste of time if I was totally single and available. I haven't been, so let's get me single before I get the other dating advice because I'd have to figure out how to hide my past and drama from new men over 40 once I am on my own (and hopefully not homeless lol). It's a silly fear because we are sitting on a huge house with a lot of equity.

Thanks for the information on offering my opinion on business deals. I have offered it to him so far.

When the hell did he propose to a chick?

I used to be a big fan of *insert hair colour or obvious physical attribute she has that she probably likes*, but now I'm an air conditioner.

You can leave it at that or ask her if she could come over and plug you in/it's getting hot etc etc, maybe in the next message or whatever.

Please make sure you use smileys, smileys are key when saying this sort of ****.

It was a fake proposal. Its back when he kept making threads about this girl. He filmed himself taking a knee, pulling out a ring pop, and asking her to be his girlfriend.


Yes.....everyone else has "cringe" game.

I have tried matching her level of interest and I feel like she plays mind games with me. If I stop contacting her and don't text her for a day she'll text me coming after me.

Ditch her then.

You're better than wasting time on someone like that? Right?

You have more options than to pine for someone like that?

First, I have no aliases. Is it so hard to believe that multiple people on this board point out how ****ed up you are when you constantly tell everyone how ****ed up you are?

Second, I have a ton of compassion and empathy, even for you, but what you need is tough love. Not compassion that enables you. Your filter is majorly broken.

Third, I took a year off of dating and I've spent an hour every week with a psychologist for the past two years to get over the damage my ex-wife did to me. I don't have any mental or emotional baggage. I have dealt with it all. Now that I am healthy I'm having a really hard time finding a woman that is equally healthy.

Fourth, stop comparing me to yourself. You are severely damaged. I am not.

have you even slept with her?
I'm counting like 4 dates from before and now at least 4 dates.

if you aren't sleeping with her.
WHY?