How many miscers are on that ultimate Chad status

Age: 36

Not really

Breaking news: OP is a *******. Scientists claim no end in sight

There's no such thing as a young shredded Investment Banker because they're working 100 hour weeks and have no time for the gym.

New Study Published in Australian Journal of Science, Medicine, and Arachnology, Reveals that OP is a *******.

A landmark study published last Thursday in the Australian Journal of Science, Medicine, and Arachnology, proves once and for all, that OP is indeed a *******. The results of the six month long study, while having only been released a few days ago, have already gained widespread acceptance among the scientific community. According to researchers, the study went into great depths and utilized a wide variety of research methods.

"We did everything from genetic analysis, to behavioral analysis, to even interviewing the OP's family and friends. All of our collected data points to the same conclusion. That OP is a *******." said Professor Biggblac Cockenstein. "In one particular experiment, we sneaked into the OP's home and replaced the hotdogs in his fridge with dildos. Upon returning home, OP proceeded to put the dildos between his buns. And I don't mean hotdog buns."

Even though the study has been proclaimed by the scientific community to be one of the greatest studies of the 21st century, not all members of the public have a positive opinion of it. One man which we interviewed yesterday, said the following:

"Why are these kunts wasting money to study something like this? Everyone already knew the answer. You might as well have a study to prove that the sky is blue and that the grass is green."

Others were much more happy to see the study completed.

"I'm a psychology major and have been following the study for the last 2 months, waiting for the results to be published. I am really happy to see the research back up my own personal observations regarding the OP."

However, no matter what one's opinion of the study may be, one thing is for certain.

The OP is a *******. In the words of Professor Biggblac Cockenstein: "It is scientific fact."

Chads don't work in IB they work in commercial real estate

How many shredded investment bankers are there? lol

Engineer at 5 PM



Investment banker 5 PM



Investment banker at 10 PM



Investment banker at 2 AM



Investment banker at 40



Investment banker at 50

Let's be honest engineers are genetic scum

Op is a cuqq

IT brahs at 5pm

Gayest chit I've heard all year. OP White that last bit of cum off your lip please.

Investment bankers make less than school teachers per hour lmao

Any engineer can out-earn an investment banker by just working a second contract job if they wanted to.

You can almost smell the cope coming through the computer screen itself... Strong Everything OP

Wow, you're a ****.

Shredded CEO. I win

^^^This.^^^And this.

People only think of the salary on Google when they hear "investment banker". Cut that salary in half if you want a fair comparison to the average 40-50 hour a week wagecuck. Then factor in the huge student loans you need to go to Harvard Business School or Wharton to even get hired, (let's be real tea - they hire from no more than half a dozen schools), the $3500/mo rent to get a broom closet in NYC, and the tax rape by both Uncle Sam and the state of New York in those upper income brackets, and that baller salary starts looking kind of ****ty real quick.

As it is in I-banking, you either get promoted and "downshift" to 80 hours a week, or you probably blow your head off within 5 years. I just can't fathom how anyone would do that to themselves.

In on gay-ass thread

First off, it isn't a career, it's a job. You do a three year stint as an analyst and move on. During your three years, you make something like $100k, $125k, then $150k, but you work 80-100 hour weeks. Once you factor in insane taxes and cost of living (the jobs are in London, NYC, HK), your lifestyle is pretty damn ****ty compared to how hard you work, so you're right about that.

The thing that people miss about IB is that it isn't really about the money, it's about making an investment in your career. It's on a very short list of jobs in terms of how it looks on your resume, what you learn, and who you meet. You'll be able to make much better money working more normal hours, in a position that was only available to you because you did IB.

Lmfao, so specific.

I know a few from undergrad.

They are without exception miserable and have no social life.

Was originally going to go into ibanking but in corporate finance now instead, might still go into it later to fulfill ops fantasy

X1000.

Who would've thought that what is commonly preached as the minimum standard for success is actually impossible due to contradictory requirements?

Investment Bankers all come from sheltered backgrounds and are from privileged families.

They are typically awkward, academic and have G.A.S.

Good total comp, but lot's of pressure and poor work culture that's fueled by excess. BRB snorting lines of coke off my phone in the bathroom. BRB clocking off at work at 2am and hitting some classy bar up with hookers and coke three times a week.

BRB committing suicide when I get fired and it's all I really know.

I know a few from undergrad and the hours they work are insane.

One of them got a job in NY, he only has one protected Saturday a month, lmao.

Another, in NY, was doing unhealthy amounts of ******** and ritalin to get through the day.

lol strong cope in this thread

Guess how much the average 2nd year Investment Banking/M&A associate in JPMorgan made this year in bonuses?

170-205k

Thats JUST in yearly bonuses payout (usually a mix of shares/cash), so with salary you can add another 120-200k on top of that

10% bf, hedge fund analyst count?

...... At the cost of what???