In b4 OP is dealt 9 3 unsuited.

We are approaching autism levels that shouldn't even be possible!

Never change OP.

Play the man; not the cards

Tell em you like your meat extra bloody. And your only hobby's are guns and kickboxing

update us when the interview is done

Will do brah. At the moment I am not too worried about interview. It kind of it what it is. I am more worried about the human interaction with strangers later tonight, how yucky do I get, what small talk do I make, do I be myself for this or Chad, do I pitch a stock to some of the brah's?

Not uncommon at all. You want to figure out (a) which candidates are going to fit the team culture, and (b) whether you could trust them to entertain clients.

OP, follow the lead of the senior bankers. They will probably have a couple of drinks only (at most) before going home. The junior bankers might have a couple of drinks, but a lot of them will probably have to go back to the office.

You aren't getting the job mate.

Sorry, but rather than all the crap why not just be relaxed and confident in your skills without all the bravada?

I laughed -repped

Do you know how few people stand out when there's 10,000+ applications for like 5 places?

Thanks for the advice brah. Should I be Chad to impress them? Like pull out a £10 note to the group of bankers and say I'm willing to challenge any takers - point at a girl in the room and I will get her number, race anyone 1v1 in who can neck a pint the fastest, etc?

The event begins in 4 hours time, though I will mentally pretend I'm Roger Federer and turn up about 30 mins late

In.

Cliffs so far: pretty yucky but the bankers love me lmao. I went full alpha Chad straight off the bat.

Event started 2 hours ago, when all potential grad intake analysts arrived in a shirt and trousers or dress (smart casual)

OP rocks up 30 mins late in a full black Tux with shiny lapel and bow tie and without even saying hello to anyone orders a Grey Goose martini with an olive in it

OP says hello to other people being interviewed who are in their own group and just walks off to go find the bankers

Interrupts junior bankers (current workers of 1-3 years) and says, "Oi oi boys and m'lady, watch out Bond has arrived" and toasts his martini. They laugh and OP necks it in 1 and flaunts the olive on the cocktail stick

Group of 6 bankers (5 guys, 1 girl) and OP in group chatting and getting to know each other and OP calls over female waiter and says "can I have 7 Remy Martins on the rocks, wack it on here and get ya self one too you little cutie" and hands the girl a Gold AMEX.

Other graduate intakes try to join conversation but literally get NC from boring questions and group form circle around OP who's talking about the best country to open up a bar in that also has an amazing mountain to add a tourism/trekking business and everyone is throwing their suggestions.

One of the guys says to OP, I bet you can't get that number of the female server who brought our Cognacs. OP irl LOL's and says you know what kid, I'll go one better. Point me out any woman in this room and I'll go up to her and get her number!

Junior bankers start saying OoOoOoh collaboratively and the eldest of them says what about her and points to a very elegant, strong independent, mature lady, probably in her late 30s, early 40s but has managed to retain her youth.

OP says get your tenners out boys and all of the guys and OP hand the junior female banker £60 in a group vs OP challenge. OP grabs the rest of the Remy from the hand of the guy who challenged him, downs it, winks at him and says hold my glass boyo

OP approaches said lady and compliments dress and asks her where she's been hiding all his life? Lady says you're charming and seems like you've entertained the newer intakes all night, what's your name? OP without any hesitation says Chad Thunderrot (couldn't say Thundercock), can I buy you a drink? She replies absolutely, but I know exactly who you are William - I am the HR Business Partner and bursts out laughing.

OP goes red as a tomato and explains the challenge. Lady actually finds it quite funny and says that we've been running this cocktail event for many years and you are the first person to come up to me with balls and talk to me about anything and everything but the interview process, and my laugh isn't fake like with everyone else. I will play along. I am going to write my number on a napkin and then I want you to kiss the napkin as a victory and shake my hand and walk away with the biggest grin on your face

OP walks back and the jaws of the analysts just drops! The girl is in stitches from laughing and hands OP the money and gives him a big hug. The guys are speechless and shell-shocked. OP being a sick kunt generous Chad for the evening uses the £60 to buy a round of Peronis and challenged the guys to a race to see who can drink it the fastest.

OP won which everyone was mirin' hard and loser had to buy the next round out of his pocket. OP is currently outside in the smoking area with some of the poverty boring graduates pretending to send an email and will go back and work the same charm magic on the senior bankers and try and find the MD partner for tomorrow to drop the poker line!

lmfao. Good read 9.5/10

Just got back to the room from the networking drinks evening. Above is an update.

The interview will be done about 3pm tomorrow so will post an update later in the evening when I get home

Lmao wtf...almost too good to not be true.

How do you say you're an autist and pull stuff like this off?

you really are mentally insane

Repped for update. I want to believe OP is a sick Chad kunt it is not an impossible story tbh

Fixed

When I think what do I have to lose and conclude it's nothing, then I just go for it.

I've been rejected from full time IB jobs, from girls, etc, for the last 3-4 years straight.

This was pretty much my last attempt at getting back into the industry. If this fails then I'm done forever. But I wanted to give it everything I had and try something new/different before I gave up!

holy ****ing cringe

Sweet screenplay bro.

It could have been mega cringe, but had I not done what I did, I would have been stood in the corner with a drink in one hand wishing I was at home on the Misc

GJ op. now you have to nail the interview and prove you can actually do the work

Yeah brah, thanks. I've woken up slightly hanging, but mainly laughing and confident.

Today is a long day of about 4 events and a networking lunch from 8am to 3pm. It's currently 6:15am so having my shower and breakfast to feel fully fresh.

Have packed a deck of really nice cards in my suit trouser pocket to drop the poker line on MD lol

Jesus.

Repped.

Your approach is 100% correct OP. I've followed approaches like these and they have worked. Will not mention any tales as the BGV for the roles I'm out for are strict, but they work flawlessly.

The confidence is key here.

I want to beleaf..

really want to beleaf but not sure... from lurking you dont seem to be a huge troll so idk

I work in Goldman Sachs branch in SF. Ask me anything OP or anyone.