For you man...






^^ Hits me in the feelz every time and inspires me.

i used to live by a philosophy, and it's something my ex took to heart and changed her entire outlook on life with. She used to be paralyzed with fear over all the random things that could go wrong in any given situation, so she never did anything and never moved forward. I've almost always been the polar opposite, I followed a simple philosophy; there's two types of problems in the world, my problems, and not my phukn problem. I tried not to stress the stuff I cannot change, since no matter what I do/did/plan, that chit does whatever the fk it wants, and instead I always try to simply choose a path to move forward. It's easy to get overwhelmed by the negative bs, and relive your mistakes over and over, I mean I see a lot of where I went wrong this past year, I suffered incredible insomnia ever since I lost my job, because I am constantly analyzing and assessing all the situations that ended me where I am. It's taking time, but I'm going back to the "not my phukn problem" mentality. I can't change the past, best I can do is use the knowledge gained in the failures to move forward and not fail the same way again.

Also I have always tinkered with chit, always had great "ideas" and I like to build stuff, I was one of the first guys on the planet with wifi controlled LEDs in my wheels (adapted pool rgb LEDs and a bar wifi led controller to work in the car, installed the LEDs to the back of the dust shield behind the calipers) I never really capitalized on it (tried to manufacture the kits, but finding a manufacturer that could produce the roll-formed rings I wanted at a reasonable price was exhausting and I just moved on). Also built my ex's brother and fiancé one of those super-Nintendo rom PCs (raspberry pi2 mounted inside a Super Nintendo case) made the controllers all work and ****, they are huge nerds and that Christmas/engagement gift went over awesome. Anyways, decided to build a Marshmello helmet for Halloween this year, also on site found something I was kind of looking for, for another product I designed and wouldn't mind producing, was free now I can start producing a prototype and see if I can get to that CEO 10$ coffee a day lifestyle.

Check out this video too, video I watched a long time ago, by a guy from I believe over 60 years ago, yet everything he says holds true today, will hold true 100 years from now. It's more about making money, but the ideas expressed translate to almost everything in life. You can change everything in your life by changing your mindset, approach things differently and have a defined goal to work towards. Changing your mindset is free, there's literally 0 risk involved, what do you have to lose?

#powerful

Brother you just echoed thoughts I have had for years. Just wanted you to know these issues are common as hell, especially for young men in the west. Not got any solutions, but just a bear hug. I will be rooting for you, let us know if you have any breakthroughs, I could do with some ideas myself

strippers are the wrong ones to practice this with, you really do need to get laid so that reality smacks you right in the face when it comes to women. They are not better than you. The best conversations I have with strangers are ones where I don't give a chit what I'm saying or where the conversation is going. Strippers will only take your money and leave you with blue balls.

Here's some tips on interactions with people I have used in the past and continue to use to great effect.

Dress well, when I go out I'm always in quality clothes (unless it's on site work). My shoes are always clean, my hair is cut, my clothes are clean, fit well, and wrinkle free. Whatever your style, it shouldn't be hard to keep your appearance up. That doesn't mean all designer clothes, it doesn't hurt, but look like you give a chit about yourself. People who go out in pj pants and sweats have completely given up on life.

Whenever I did job interviews at my old company, and I did a lot, I judged people on two things; the car they drove, and the shoes they wore. Do not confuse this with me saying I judged what kind of car/truck/suv they drove, likewise shoes, but a 40 year old driving a 30+ year old rust bucket pile of chit while making 87+k a year as a journeyman is someone who doesn't give a chit about life, typically has lots of personal issues, and is someone I wasn't interested in employing. Likewise filthy delapidated shoes. If you don't care about yourself how can I expect you to care about the company and the product you put out for me? Also people with a brand new 70k truck have bill payments they need to make, but that's not to say make poor life choices and buy the most expensive vehicle and shoes you can't afford. Make an effort to maintain your vehicle, keep it relatively clean, likewise shoes, keep them clean, lot of people's first impressions land on these items, far more then you would think.

Always walk tall, I'm 6'4 I'm always tall, but I always have proper posture. I always see tall skinny guys who have slouched posture, shoulders drooped, and head all hung like a damn vulture, or squidward(sp?). Carry yourself like you own whatever room you walk into, tell yourself you own the room, everybody miring' you, etc. It will show in your body language and you will notice a huge shift in how people interact with you. If you look and act like a boss people will treat you like one.

Always look people in the eyes, don't Bert-stare like some retard, but make eye contact, eye contact is a conveyer of personal "power". Guys I talk to that walk around looking at the ground, who won't maintain eye contact, I have always steamrolled, because they don't have the balls to hold eye contact, they would never have the balls to question me.

Don't ask permission, make statements, don't be a dick about it, but be assertive "could you help me move this?" Vs "hey man, I'm moving this over there, you mind grabbing an end". Be assertive in your language too, "I will do x" "I am doing x" if you don't convey indecision, you look decisive, decisive people are leaders, followers never have a clue what's going on in the world till someone tells them what to do.

Have goals, I have said this so many times, but it makes night and day difference for me. When I lost my job after everything else I was aimless, I had insomnia because I was up all night pissed off or trying to figure out wtf I was going to do. I would get to bed at 7am and sleep to 2pm then be depressed because I wasted my entire day on nothing and the cycle would continue.
Create goals to work towards, have a plan. I was reading this article recently that was talking about how "innovation" is a worthless hype word, the young generation all wants to be "innovators" and "entrepreneurs" because they think they will be billionaire status in a week and never have to work. It takes work to be an entrepreneur, but innovation doesn't come when you want an idea to come, innovation comes in result to a problem.i believe the same can be said about life in general if you are severely depressed with no plan, then you have no problem to solve, with no problem to solve, you cannot come up with a solution.
Work out a plan, what steps can you take today to improve your situation? What is the potential downside to those steps? How can you mitigate them and move forward? Is there another avenue you can follow/something else you can use as a backup plan should the first plan fail?

Take my current job that I have indicated I hate. I do, but I'm not miserable at work, I don't bring that **** to work, I go to work and I do the job asked of me to the best of my ability, because then I am engaged, my days go by quicker, and I'm not wallowing in self pity which translates outward to nobody wanting to deal with you, a **** job, and you probably getting fired. I registered to challenge my 3rd year exam nov 9th, that took an hour and 200$, I study every night for an hour or two because I want to pass that exam. Once I pass that exam I can register for school, then I still need an year in the field to get my red seal (journeyman ticket). Once I get my red seal I can apply to get my blue seal training (journeyman plumber/project manager ticket). In the meantime, I have never been on a site this big, so I am logging everything I get done in a day, as well as the guys around me since they are working with new systems I have never used. All this data is going into excel spreadsheets that I have had for a while working on averages for time spent on certain jobs, to make me a more efficient estimator. My eventual goal is to write estimation software using this data and attempt to license it to other companies, but that's only one of many of my ideas I am working on at any one time.

When I lost my job none of this was really planned, the estimation thing I have been working on for a while, but it's a ways from being done, but as soon as I developed a possible plan, other pieces fell into place, and I am moving forward. If you can get forward momentum, it will continue to push you forward and you will find it getting easier and easier.

To the guy saying he fake smiled at people and stuff, keep it up, walk in a room like you own it, dress well, work hard, interact with people.. dont just fake smile and secretly not give a chit, people pick up on that, be in the moment, be interested in people's opinions (other people's viewpoints always interested me, how we can see the same thing and come up with completely different stances is super interesting) be social, most of the time you don't even have to say much, people love to just talk (look at me in this goddmn thread) let them, what do you have to lose. If you "fake" confidence long enough, the resulting reaction from people interacting with you will result in real confidence.

One final note (yea I know TLDR already but whatever) about suicide. Pretty sure I mentioned before I've been there, I truely think everybody has at one point. Some much more so then others, but it's a serious deal. For those thinking about it, consider this; You are thinking about giving up everything. Everything. That is so freeing, once you are willing to give up everything you are literally free to do anything in the world because what more then your life could you possibly ever lose? Go backpack across the country, move somewhere exotic, move somewhere more populated. What could possibly happen comparitively? Likewise, if you are already considering giving up everything, what possible risk do you have in trying to change your mindset? What is the possible downside to changing everything about yourself, hell change your name to something stupid if you want. It's your life to do with as you please, so why not try your hardest to do what you want? Why let fear of other people's opinions result in you giving up your life? 2 types of problems in this world, and what some random thinks about my attitude is not my fukn problem.
I will make it again brahs, that's not some hocus pocus millennial meme picture bullchit, that is reality. I don't give a chit how many times it takes, it will happen one step at a time. Just like fitness, you don't get instantly jacked and it's easy to make excuses why you can't go to the gym but the dudes who stuck it out, who worked hard and kept at it, look like Greek fukn gods, and the world is miring.

Man I really just have a negative attitude. Almost like i want to be alone. Maybe I need to just accept my life. I'm not getting any younger and I realize life isn't going to be care free and fun like it was in my early 20s. I think I come on the misc too much and get negative thoughts in my head because I see all the women hate and sex threads. In reality I just need to accept this, but I have demons that won't let me go

Stop living in the past & future and realize that you can be care free and fun right now.

Accept your life? No, if you are unhappy with your life, don't accept it. What you need to do is accept your situation, and decide how you are going to move forward from there.
Ignore the sex, obsessing over women, etc. That chit comes when you aren't looking for it, you need to get your head right, and once you do that everything else will follow. The women you find when you desperately need someone to validate yourself are not the kind of people you want to meet.
I met my ex while driving down the road, she liked my caddy and messaged me on fb (we had met like 4 years before when she worked at a tanning salon my older sister worked at). I didn't give a chit and made her pay for our first few dates and did what I wanted.

You think if I didn't have my chit together I could have pulled that off? Get your mind right, get your life squared away, otherwise you will end up like one of those people who needs their spouse to validate their existence, and those people are walked all over and chit on, cheated on, etc. That is true misery.

The only person you need to validate your existence is you, the only person you need to change your situation is you. You can make it happen. It won't be easy, it won't be instant, but if you change your mindset (and committ to it not just secretly think "this is dumb and won't work") I guarantee within a month you notice a huge change in how people interact with you. Smile more, keep your head up, lightly flirt with every woman you interact with (old fat or ugly who cares you aren't trying to bang) talk to the men you interact with like you have been best friends for years. If you don't walk talk look and act depressed, people in general around you will be happier and that will lift you up too.

Sorry for the double post, but just got a call from my old boss, talked to someone I used to work with there, he's really regretting firing me and has been having a rough go of it. I didn't answer his call, and as of right now have no intentions of going back. I make half now what I did there, but going back would just result in the same situation I was in before. While life is a struggle right now, I have not been so motivated to get chit done in the last 6 years as I have in the last week and a half. I would rather struggle and move forward, then stagnate.

Humans as a species are lazy creatures, but whenever we are pushed into a corner that is when the true human spirit comes out. History is full of people rising up against almost unimaginable odds, and while my pathetic struggles pale in comparison, it's part of all of our nature. Deep down you have it in you to do extraordinary things, but if you never even try, you will never know where that can take you.

Lots of truth here.

I left a good paying job simply because it was helping to take me nowhere that i wanted in life. I've been offered it back, but for me it's like accepting defeat and living life on other peoples terms. The news loves to talk about celebrities and famous people. However, everyone forgets the 90% of people that have hopes and dreams about their own lives that they've never risked chasing. Instead they just live their life in accordance to what their friends/family/society expects of them. An existence where they aren't happy, but aren't unhappy enough to do anything about it. Where layers upon layers of fear have crippled the bright light inside of them. I've come to the point where i'd rather dying trying to live on my terms, rather than be one of those "cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat" as Teddy Roosevelt once said.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

28 jobless, no money, no responsibilities, this means no meaning. dont like friends dont like family. not sure what im here for anymore

Exact same age here, no money too, jobless, don't have any friends, but it's due to mental illness(panic attacks disorder)

Meanwhile, my brother and sister have good jobs, homes, kids lol I just feel like trash.

What have you done so far to remedy your situation?

cognitive behavioral therapy

countless journeys in psychiatry

I see a psychiatrist once a month

antidepressants

Nothing really helped except meds, the second I put a foot outside, my heart starts racing and I get dizzy.

What thought processes is going through your head before you step outside that freaks you out?

Great. Also consider group discussion/sessions. Just don't expect miracles and realize that therapy is adynamic processand you get out of it what you put into it. There may not be a cure, but chronic depression can be managed.

not sure, my first panic attacks were really big and I had to go to ER in ambulance cause I thought I was dying ( heart rate at 180 bpm) and it freaked me out for good i guess.

I was a healthy 18 yrs old young man, had friends, was at university at the time and it hit suddenly.. fast forward 10 years later and im a unhealthy 6'5 300 pounds mofo on antidepressants and im balding lol sick life.

I don't understand. Simply opening the door and having fresh air blow against your face causes a panic attack? Or do you fear social interaction and for some reason you equate "outside" with social interaction?

I meant it as " can't leave my home " and no I don't fear social interactions.. I fear having a sudden panic attack while I'm not in my comfort zone ( house ).

Sorry english is my 3rd language .

You need to expand on the thought process behind your issue. Your mind clearly believes A + B + C = PANIC ATTACK

You need to deconstruct the connections. Of course you may not be able to do that since it is your mind in the way.... or at least that's what you perceive.

Maybe I should do another cognitive behavioral therapy, but yeah it's a battle against the mind

what was CBT like the first time, what did they have u practice?

I think i'm narcissistic or something. I don't care about anything/anyone anymore. I basically just go through the motions until each day is over. I see so few people a day that i don't acknowledge anyone.

The place i work is a cancer, but it's easy work. Right now i am just trying to get as big as possible and that's all i care about. If i run into someone to talk to then that will be great, but i don't see that ever happening. For now i'm just focusing on my gains because it's the only thing that makes me feel a rush

I want some srs responses to this please.

Anyone have any idea what this could mean? So the past week I've been feeling really low energy, even when taking my go to supplement that fixes that, like I can feel the supplement still absorbing, but I'm still feeling seriously fatigue, both physically and mentally. I've been waking up very groggy and sometimes going right back to sleep for another couple of hours. I just feel tired throughout the day, like I can barely get out of bed sometimes, and what makes it more weird is that I've also been getting insomnia nearing sleep/bed time. I'd lay in bed, clearly sleepy, but I just can't sleep, and then stay up another few hours until I'm completely burnt out and crash. Today I woke up, same feeling, but my mind felt so empty, like I couldn't even think, so I drunk two cups of coffee, haven't drank coffee in weeks, and now I'm not feeling fatigue, but now I feel way too stimulated and I'm scared the insomnia is going to be extreme.

I also have little to no desire to eat either, but when I do eat, I feel like I can eat more than normal. Why?

I haven't had blood work done in months, but tests showed I was normal range, so what could this be? What is happening?

Yes you should. What you really need to do is let go of past experiences and commit to changing your mindset. Commit fully and blindly to the process, as if you're a religious fanatic and your only goal is to reconfigure your thought patterns.

As far as panic attacks, get prescribed anti panic-attack medication and always have it with you. That should give you the confidence that you can use it as a worst case scenario. I've hear many accounts of having medicine on you completely eradicating fears of panic attacks over time. Good luck mane.Depends on the therapist but it's a very logical approach, kind of like weightlifting. You use certain techniques such as keeping thought journals or using lists to organize/track tasks in order to start recognizing negative or un-productive thought patterns.

At first they may be hard to recognize. Over time you will become better at recognizing them, and start to battle the negative thoughts. Based on repeating this process over the course of weeks, you develop a new habit of fighting negative thought. A month or two later you may wake up to realize your behavior has changed: instead of defaulting to negative thought you nullify them instinctively or even have positive thoughts for a change.

It works, IF you commit to it. You're literally training your mind as if you're teaching a dog new tricks. It requires consistency and persistence otherwise new habits cannot be formed.

I'm just going to be a d!ck here because whatever, I'm peppered for the reds.

All of those things you mentioned aren't working because you are still phuking expecting some miracle, for magic fairy santa bunny to come along and sprinkle pixey dust and fix your life and fix your head. Nobody can help you square your ****.
Only you can.
Until you decide you are actually done getting in your own phucking way, you will never progress past the point you are at now.

Lots of chit in life is out of your control. There is literally nothing you can do about the chit that is out of your control.

Stop worrying about the chit that is out of your control.

What can you do today, right now, to get you to one of your goals. The answer just popped into your head and you just made an excuse why you can't. Ignore the excuses and do something. There is almost never a situation where there is literally nothing in your power that you can to change a situation. Stop focusing on the bs, and start making a change.

They say hope is the most powerful emotion known to mankind. IMO hope is the most dangerous. People will wallow in misery, subject to the most horrible conditions imaginable for so long, suffering because the faint hope someone or something will come along and change their situation. Be that a god, the lottery (lol), whatever.
Stop kidding yourself. If you want chit to change YOU HAVE TO PUT IN THE WORK TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. If you can't even be bothered to work for your dreams, why the hell do you think you deserve to achieve them in the first place?

i think you're suffering from being inside your home too much. i get the same thing every time i'm laid off or jobless and only go out like maximum of 7 hours a week. it's like your mind can't comprehend the world when you step outside again. it's anxiety, plus if you're on the computer all the time computer vision syndrome could be what makes it dizzy. i get the same exact feeling, but i'm used to it, i just know it's because i'm in my room all day.

if you workout try to make it 1 hour a day at least. that'll help a little. but not much.

i got another temp warehouse job, commute is fuking 1 hour by bus again. but whatever. i guess. i plan to work 12 hours a day so the commute would be worth it. while looking for something school related i can jump into for january.

some of you guys trying to help are being too aggressive. it makes this thread toxic. we aren't children. some of us come here to vent because we have no one to talk to, and that's all. everyone tries to fix their chit at their own pace. i read all advice, and i try little but little to help myself, but you can't expect me or another person to fix their entire life the next day. everyone is different, we're not the same, maybe y'all can fix your chit in a day but most of us mentally rock bottom can't.

Nobody can fix their life in a day, chit happens one step at a time. my last post was rude, but sometimes you need a real hard dose of reality to kickstart some change, otherwise you just sit there depressed making excuses.

If someone gets pissed off at the chit I said and that gives them enough of a change of pace to do something, I'm ok with it, if it doesn't, I'm ok with that too. I'm not here to be your best friend, you don't need to like me, you can take my advice either way. Or not. But wallowing in self pity and depression is not going to help, and always being negative is not going to help.

You guys don't need a place to vent and wallow man, you clearly do a lot of that in your own head. I've been there. I know what it's like. I also know you can push past it because I did. Post the positive chit that you did, help encourage your other brahs, be positive man.

As for a job, look into controls tech, it's a trade similar to electricians, only little more troubleshooting/problem solving. Highly paid, but less work then electricians. Once you spend a few years learning the trade you can start your own company and (at least here) make ridiculous money. Our controls guy makes 500$ a tstat for base building installs. He shows up, connects 5 wires to the board in a rooftop unit, then runs 50 feet of cable coiled in the ceiling to a free hanging tstat. He can do 8 or 9 a day.
Check out skilled trades, its good work, decent pay, and you can pivot to quite a few different avenues once you have a ticket. Not to mention once you have experience, you can typically go anywhere as a tradesman.

I can't pretend to have the answers, but I wanted to say that surrounding your life from the moment you wake up with things you enjoy can help a lot. It could be music, incense, tea, juicing, painting... Just doing something besides what you normally do first thing in the morning, in order to break the routine. To me, depression follows a routine of habits. Breaking your first habit in the morning sets a precedent for the rest of the day.

If you're still alive now, you are because there's something you're holding onto that makes you want to live. So if you're going to be living anyway, you'd might as well have some fun!