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Forum » Holy chip the new Star Wars is a total cuckfest [spoiler warning]
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Thread: Holy chip the new Star Wars is a total cuckfest [spoiler warning]

post 1537619891 12-15-2017, 01:04 PM
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Would give the movie a 6/10.

I thought it was too long and kind of boring.

I also didn’t like the humor, it felt forced at times and made the movie seem childish. The second half got much better, but the first part of the movie ruined it for me.
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post 1537620401 12-15-2017, 01:09 PM
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Originally Posted By strengthgained⏩
I’m seriously wondering how it has a 93% on rotten tomatoes. Why is it that the audience review score is almost ALWAYS more accurate than the “critics”? Are they paid off?
you don't get invited to early screenings and events by giving bad reviews. Don't piss off the Mouse.
I'm to old for this chit.
post 1537621181 12-15-2017, 01:16 PM
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This movie was phucking GARBAGE. I could write an essay with all of the flaws, but I don’t feel like writing for 30 minutes. And I have to watch the movie again on phucking Sunday because my friend got me an extra ticket
post 1537621431 12-15-2017, 01:18 PM
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Originally Posted By strengthgained⏩
I’m seriously wondering how it has a 93% on rotten tomatoes. Why is it that the audience review score is almost ALWAYS more accurate than the “critics”? Are they paid off?
I literally said this to my GF as we were walking out of the theatre. how did this get such a high score on RT? I mean at best it was a 6/10 and the more I think about it, the more I dislike this movie.

So many parts in that movie that even she was cringing at. The Leia "Superman" from outerspace, the kiss between Finn and the Asian chick, Luke dying after just making a hologram of himself?! The only redeeming/epic-ish thing about this film looking back was the fight that Rey and Kylo had with the guards after they killed Snoke.
post 1537622011 12-15-2017, 01:24 PM
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Originally Posted By Jaydawg08⏩
I literally said this to my GF as we were walking out of the theatre. how did this get such a high score on RT? I mean at best it was a 6/10 and the more I think about it, the more I dislike this movie.

So many parts in that movie that even she was cringing at. The Leia "Superman" from outerspace, the kiss between Finn and the Asian chick,Luke dying after just making a hologram of himself?! The only redeeming/epic-ish thing about this film looking back was the fight that Rey and Kylo had with the guards after they killed Snoke.
BRO that was SO ****ing random.
post 1537622031 12-15-2017, 01:24 PM
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Originally Posted By mTm⏩
you don't get invited to early screenings and events by giving bad reviews. Don't piss off the Mouse.
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post 1537624781 12-15-2017, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted By Jaydawg08⏩
I literally said this to my GF as we were walking out of the theatre. how did this get such a high score on RT? I mean at best it was a 6/10 and the more I think about it, the more I dislike this movie.

So many parts in that movie that even she was cringing at. The Leia "Superman" from outerspace, the kiss between Finn and the Asian chick, Luke dying after just making a hologram of himself?! The only redeeming/epic-ish thing about this film looking back was the fight that Rey and Kylo had with the guards after they killed Snoke.
The entire theatre was cringing, some parts were hard to watch when they tried to pass off a humorous line, no one in the theatre even cracked a smile. It had a weird “is this almost over yet?” Vibe to it.

It felt 100% like a Guardians of a Galaxy movie, a kooky spontaneous random sci-flick with references to Star Wars here and there.




One part that killed me was how long it took the speeders to reach the “battering ram cannon” (sweet name btw) and then how Finn suddenly appears back at the base after dragging the Asian character (name..?) allll the way back in 2 minutes
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post 1537625781 12-15-2017, 02:02 PM
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Originally Posted By Nelly87⏩
gunna see this friday - wondering if it'll be as bad as op states
Checking back in, just saw it:
from the OP:
Spoiler!

I mean the movie was entertaining enough but jesus christ at all the leftist propaganda they managed to squeeze in there...

brb introduce two new major characters, one of them is a fat asian chick, the other is the new leader for the rebel alliance who is an old hag with blue hair (lmao)
-Asian chick didn't really bother me, thought she added good quirkiness. Sorry she wasn't some HBB. Blue hair chick annoyed me at first then ended up being pretty badass when she took out the ship at the end. Wish she woulda just been upfront with the dude to avoid the drama. Not to mention just that but she has a ton of backstory and appears in other books, with green hair though so still oddly colored. She first me leia in the book, leia, princess of alderaan.

brb every leader in the rebel alliance (and in fact every person present on the bridge of their fleet) is a woman
-I honestly didn't pay that much attention to this part. Went right over my head.

brb the only new white man in the rebellion (if Poe can even be considered white, dunno) is completely disregarded and presented as an impulsive idiot who makes the horrible mistake of doubting the infinite wisdom of women even though they refuse to share their reasoning with him when he raises very valid doubts
-Them not sharing the plan did irritate me and how they treated him. Remember, this is like a run down very small last bit of the rebellion. There's what - like 20 people who made it out of this. You really mad a white bro isn't one of em? I don't see such a huge issue here, it's down to below skeleton crew at this point. What was it in Episode 7 when Han was still around there were a ton of old white dudes sitting in the room planning.

brb at the casino planet, Finn: "wow this place is pretty cool and beatiful", fat asian chick: "no actually all rich people are evil, let me explain why capitalism is bad and everyone with money is a war profiteering child exploiter who is also cruel to animals"
-I think you reached here. That planet was full of arms dealers, at least that's what the said and lead to in the movie. So of course those people could be seen as bad. This wasn't at just capitalism but specifically at a bunch of rich people making money off of war.

brb the space penguin thingies are only in the movie to make some ham-fisted point about the horror of eating meat
-I thought they were cute and added comedy when they were screamin while Chewie blew baddies out of the sky. You forget Luke runnin around huntin/fishin?

brb chewbacca who has always been portrayed as a raging blood thirsty feral beast who rips peoples arms off turns into a vegan because of said space-penguins
-I didn't get that, I just got he didn't eat those specific things because he found em cute. You could reach and say he is a vegan now but that could be determined.

brb no fights can be won through military might or power, only through selfless sacrifice by heroic women or the infinite magical power of friendship
-So when luke tricked kylo and won that battle (and by won I mean buying time for escape) it wasn't anything? Or how Kylo went full retard and killed his master?


For my review:
Spoiler!

Overall I would say it was meh. Entertaining but nothing that really wowed me. Bothered me when Leia basically came back from freezing in space and flew back into the spaceship, how far reaching bs was that. Or how they could "connect their minds" across the galaxy and get to the point where others (luke) could see kylo in rey's little hut thing. Which is much more than just connecting minds. I mean I get the whole feeling the force and such but that just brought on an all new overpowered thing. Then the other big thing is when fukkin yoda comes back to blast the tree and says luke has everything in his mind and then never had the time to tell rey anything, maybe the jedi order is supposed to go extinct.

Just isn't as cool as it used to be. Definitely action and entertaining though. I would give it a 6/10.

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post 1537626001 12-15-2017, 02:05 PM
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post 1537626141 12-15-2017, 02:07 PM
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I wish they would make a live action Star Wars movie like this
post 1537626831 12-15-2017, 02:14 PM
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Originally Posted By strengthgained⏩
The entire theatre was cringing, some parts were hard to watch when they tried to pass off a humorous line, no one in the theatre even cracked a smile. It had a weird “is this almost over yet?” Vibe to it.

It felt 100% like a Guardians of a Galaxy movie, a kooky spontaneous random sci-flick with references to Star Wars here and there.
That is a very good description of the trash i just saw.

I'm a very fair movie reviewer. This was one of the worst films in the franchise. It was only slightly better than Episode I: The Phantom Menace. The most obvious cringe things:

- Leia and her chitty Matrix CGI flying through space scene
- All the goofy cutesy/kid crap
- Every male is basically a beta cuck
- Random as chit kiss scene
- Random peace/love/save the animals crap
- Yoda randomly showing up and shooting a lightning bolt at a tree

When Snoke was killed i was like WTF? They spent so much time in the previous film creating this mysterious force user making you wonder who he was and then killed him after only 15 minutes of screen time. No answers... nothing. The Leia thing was completely idiotic. In all the movies she was portrayed as force sensitive and now all of a sudden she can fly around in the vacuum of space ... something no other character has ever done.

I feel really bad for the leading characters, especially Adam Driver. I feel like they all poured their heart in to the roles only to have the producers/director/editor f--k it all up. Without even looking it up i can tell the director/editor or something was different between this movie and the previous one.

Everything in the movie was so all over the place. It's almost like they were adding twist and turns just so they could leave their mark on the franchise. You can definitely tell it is made by Disney with all the cute character BS that you know will be lining the Christmas shopping isles.

Finally, I don't know if they are trying to butcher the essence of Star Wars or whether the people that made this film just don't understand light/darkness, good/evil, the Force, and the spirituality aspect that George Lucas originally conveyed.

Definitely a "C" movie
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post 1537627511 12-15-2017, 02:21 PM
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Originally Posted By Rayaarito⏩
Also, because of that, he killed the only things that would make 9 interesting, snook and luke
and both had lame as fuk deaths. He doesn't get a pass
post 1537627671 12-15-2017, 02:22 PM
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Originally Posted By faxanadu⏩
Everything in the movie was so all over the place. It's almost like they were adding twist and turns just so they could leave their mark on the franchise. You can definitely tell it is made by Disney with all the cute character BS that you know will be lining the Christmas shopping isles.
I'm on board, I gave it a 6/10. I quoted that one part because you know you will see those little cute things on shelves everywhere and people gunna buy em like hotcakes.

*Edit - on spread.
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post 1537630521 12-15-2017, 02:54 PM
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Originally Posted By faxanadu⏩
I feel really bad for the leading characters, especially Adam Driver. I feel like they all poured their heart in to the roles only to have the producers/director/editor f--k it all up. Without even looking it up i can tell the director/editor or something was different between this movie and the previous one.

Everything in the movie was so all over the place. It's almost like they were adding twist and turns just so they could leave their mark on the franchise. You can definitely tell it is made by Disney with all the cute character BS that you know will be lining the Christmas shopping isles.
Some dude with not much experience wrote and directed it. He's also attached to write and direct another trilogy. Yes, three more movies by this *******.



Mark Hamill is not pleased at all.
post 1537632421 12-15-2017, 03:16 PM
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Best bit of the last 6 Star Wars films.

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post 1537636351 12-15-2017, 04:12 PM
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Movie was awful

Disney has literally no idea what its doing
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post 1537637291 12-15-2017, 04:25 PM
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I'm to old for this chit.
post 1537637461 12-15-2017, 04:27 PM
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Originally Posted By cadetduke⏩
Some dude with not much experience wrote and directed it. He's also attached to write and direct another trilogy. Yes, three more movies by this *******.



Mark Hamill is not pleased at all.
JJ Abrams wrote and directed The Force Awakens. JJ has done: Lost, Alias, Mission Impossible III, Star Trek, Super 8.

Rian Johnson wrote and directed The Last Jedi. Rian has done: Brick, The Brother Bloom and Looper. He will be doing an entire new Star Wars Trilogy.

JJ is returning to do Episode IX.
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post 1537637771 12-15-2017, 04:32 PM
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Originally Posted By mTm⏩
The fukk does Star Wars have to do with Mansplaining? I swear some people. This reminds me of the Scrootie McBoogerballs episode of South Park where people just come up with random political contexts that just aren't actually there.
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post 1537638891 12-15-2017, 04:49 PM
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Just a reminder, everyone put in their reviews on RT and imdb. I just did mine. Gave the least amount of stars possible
post 1537640241 12-15-2017, 05:08 PM
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In my opinion. Revenge of th Sith >>> The Last Jedi.

No lightsaber duel at the end of TLJ and the films plot was all over the damn place.
post 1537640691 12-15-2017, 05:14 PM
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Originally Posted By JigPig⏩
In my opinion. Revenge of th Sith >>> The Last Jedi.

No lightsaber duel at the end of TLJ and the films plot was all over the damn place.
ROTS is great brah, up there with the original trilogy
post 1537641581 12-15-2017, 05:23 PM
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The worst movie I've ever seen
post 1537642241 12-15-2017, 05:29 PM
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Originally Posted By cadetduke⏩
Some dude with not much experience wrote and directed it. He's also attached to write and direct another trilogy. Yes, three more movies by this *******.



Mark Hamill is not pleased at all.
Three more Star Wars trilogies? Please tell me that's not the case... fuuuuu

If I was Mark Hamill i'd be pissed after how bad they butchered his character in that movie. That whole Skywalker return and training scene were the most deflating things in the whole movie. I remember going in thinking some kind of Yoda/Skywalker scene or Rocky training scene was about to go down and instead was served a plate full of cutesy little bird estrogen bullchit.
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post 1537642681 12-15-2017, 05:34 PM
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Originally Posted By aragon416⏩
why is that any time we get a major film that doesn't have a majority of white male actors or lead white male actors, miscers get triggered, angry and call the film a cuckfest and pandering to SJWs?
cuz the desire for agendas RUIN movies. Movies should be about the story and characters

1) no bad guy left
2) female lead is just badass for no reason at all
3) all main characters are dead
4) nothing to look forward to for 3rd movie

there's your end result. Hey lets get all excited for 3rd movie to see Rey win again and the one "bad" guy left to die. oh yeah.
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post 1537642841 12-15-2017, 05:36 PM
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Spoiler warning? You boyos should be spoiling this movie as much as possible = less ticket sales.

They play their games, we play ours.
post 1537643121 12-15-2017, 05:39 PM
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Originally Posted By cadetduke⏩
Some dude with not much experience wrote and directed it. He's also attached to write and direct another trilogy. Yes, three more movies by this *******.
Rian Johnson is a very good director. That "*******" also directed several of the best episodes of Breaking Bad. This was obviously the direction that Disney wanted to take the film as the whole thing is being driven by Kathleen Kennedy who is the head of Lucasfilm and seemingly needs to have her feminist agenda broadcast (birthplace: Berkeley, California).
post 1537643361 12-15-2017, 05:43 PM
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Originally Posted By metafour⏩
Rian Johnson is a very good director. That "*******" also directed several of the best episodes of Breaking Bad. This was obviously the direction that Disney wanted to take the film as the whole thing is being driven by Kathleen Kennedy who is the head of Lucasfilm and seemingly needs to have her feminist agenda broadcast (birthplace: Berkeley, California).
pretty much. Revenge of the Sith blows the carp out of this film. This movie basically ended the series with zero revelations or anything shocking.

Hell Skywalker did NOTHING in this movie and then he died. C'mon. No wonder Mark is so ticked and has been trashing this movie past 2 months.
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post 1537643791 12-15-2017, 05:50 PM
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Originally Posted By JigPig⏩
In my opinion. Revenge of th Sith >>> The Last Jedi.

No lightsaber duel at the end of TLJ and the films plot was all over the damn place.
I said basically the same thing to my friend.
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post 1537644251 12-15-2017, 05:57 PM
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Originally Posted By ballzaak⏩
They initially intended Luke to go the dark side. There's article about it that makes absolutely sense.

Also, if they really wanted to do the Star Wars world justice, they'd have Luke go dark, destroy everything, and then the Adrian Brody-looking Neuvo-Darth would have to duel Luke for ultimate control. Let me tell you one thing: They've explored every single scenario, and the one they've decided to pursueisn't the one that's most compellingor most interesting.It's the one that makes the most money.It's a sorry state of intergalactic affairs, but that's how it is. And that's how Disney operates.

In the end, it's going to be state-of-the-art CGI (as it was then) and the same scenario: Good guys fight, good guys seem to lose temporarily, bad guy resurgence, good guys come back w a champion, good guys WIN IT ALL DUDE BCUZ GOOD FORCE ALWAYS WINS FAM.

The cookie cutter template is identical. Fanboys are the only ones eating it up and ignoring the truth by claiming it's all original and it's all a new thrill. The one with Diego Luna where everyone dies saving the Death Star plans was the most original Star Wars movie since Empire Strikes Back.
That would of been very interesting.

I'm confused as to how Rey's character is supposed to be good at a lightsaber or anything with zero mentors now? I guess she is just magically gifted with all this knowledge...
"There's a fine line between salvation and drinking poison in the jungle." -Gym Jones
"The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts." - Marcus Aurelius

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