I understood that side of it bro, but I still think you made the right decision. Your relationship was a bit too fuked up.

And I agree with you that some people are compatible with a higher percentage of people, kinda like blood type - you're the dating world equivilent of AB negative, buddy.

First time post, but I lurk here from time to time. I know there’re some single, older folks on this thread and I have a question for them.

Basically, what’s it like to be single in your late forties? Strange question, I know, but I haven’t been truly single since my mid twenties (different world then) and am now contemplating being single again at age 49. I don’t think I know anyone around my age that is single and am wondering if there’ll be any real options if I take the plunge. I’m a software engineer and most of my coworkers are men. The few woman I interact with on a daily basis are decades younger, married, or both.

I have had some interest from woman through hobbies this past year - but one was married and I wasn’t attracted to the other (plus I’m not truly single myself, so...). At least I know I can still attract someone, but if they’re obese or married, then it doesn’t really matter... just seems like a very limited pool of potential partners, but since I’m not in the mix, I don’t really know.

So, those of you around my age, is it really difficult to meet sane, stable, single people in their late forties/early fifties? Has it all gone online like it has for the younger generation? What’s been your experience?

ETA- in case wondering, I’m not married but in a very ltr that’s been devoid of emotional intimacy for many years.

I am interested also in knowing this. I will probably find out in a couple of decades or so, but I want to know now.

From what I've seen and read online guys in their 40s can have a lot of success. A lot of younger women will be interested, but look out for "daddy issues". Obviously it is a lot tougher for women.

You’d be inthe top percentile for physique in your age bracket. I’d imagine getting sloots in their 40’s would be cakewalk for you. Not sure about younger girls tho.

Thanks for the encouragement, guys - not really interested in younger woman (though younger woman to me is 40 haha), but just not sure how many single woman near my age, that’s the big unknown... lots of incentive to stay in unhappy situations the older you get. The thought of starting over in middle age I’d imagine keeps most folks in place. I’m debating the merits myself as I write this...

Not sure if we are allowed to link other sites here but there are a few reddit subs for people dating after 30 (or 40). Your people are definitely out there. It's easier in an urban setting of course...if you're out in the boonies it will be tougher (but still possible). Seems like you are ready to take the leap.

Thanks man, I’m in a big city, so should have critical mass. I actually filled out a profile on a dating site this evening to kinda see what’s what. It’s a site geared for older people, so I gave it a shot. I’ve apparently been messaged, ‘flirted with’ and had someone favorite me, which sounds promising! But this was all within minutes of my finishing my profile (with one pic), so I’m skeptical. Unfortunately the site is demanding payment for me to view these interactions, haha. Ah, well, not the right time in any case, it’ll have to wait. Probably fake, anyways, right? Never done the online thing... I’ll look out for those reddit sites you mention, def. interested in seeing what’s out there. Thanks man

do not use sites that make you pay to send messages. Use Okcupid, pof, tinder or coffee meets bagel.

im looking forward to having a couple kiddos. im hoping to have a cottage so that i can take them fishing, have campfires, go camping. Stuff theyll remember forever. Raising a family in your 30s is something you should look forward too

I agree with you on marriage as I would only agree to it if I thought my partner was going to be one for life, however I am far from that point so I could never see it happening currently but I would not be too bothered if it never happened. But as for kids I definitely would like my own at some point for days out, camping, football games etc. Being able to teach and show them new things and see them develop really appeals to me.

I'd say they probably weren't fake. It's pretty rare to find guys our age who look good and in shape, so you'll be pretty popular especially if you're on a site geared towards people our age and older. I can't even imagine the messages I'd get if I got on a site like Our Time. lol

I also disagree with the above to only do free sites. If you're looking for a relationship and not just hook ups, paid sites may be worth it. Although I will say I've heard that Match has mostly the same people as the free sites in my area. I know a bunch of people who've been on Match and had the same experience as when on free sites.

While I think online dating is for the birds, especially at our age, I think it's probably something everyone has to try for themselves. The biggest problem is people get stuck on the hamster wheel and can't get off. They get into the grass is always greener mindset where they can't give anyone a real chance because Look! There are hundreds more to choose from. If you can resist that, which admittedly is tough at times, then you'll be good to go.I noticed it. Honestly, I've liked and agreed with most of your posts, but I don't get why you need to bash on someone who's not even here. You are obviously not as new as your join date says if you know that history.

Nah, I'm new and maybe I was inappropriate because I don't know the history of anyone here. I just think "kidlets" is a hilarious term, never heard it before, and the full statement made me laugh out loud each time others posted it. I don't take life very seriously, I laugh at myself all the time (far more than I laugh at others), and I can't imagine anyone really being offended by repeating that statement. If you've looked at my other posts, I try to show compassion to those who seem to be suffering. I certainly didn't get that sense from jamez, but again, I don't know any of the history. I am kind to people I meet in real life, but I do joke and tease a lot, and it's sometimes hard to get that across online with people you don't know. No bashing was intended, but I can see how it appears that I was piling on. If he sees it and it bothers him, I am sincerely sorry.

edit: I didn't know I could delete posts here so I've gone back and removed them.

Well I didn't think you needed to delete, was just curious why you'd say that out of nowhere, especially if new. I think that was nice of you to delete it and not pile on.

Before anyone gets on my case for defending him, I'd say the same for just about anyone who's not here.

Welp just came back from another date. The guy seemed cool over text, likes the same music, rides a motorcycle (adventurous), lives in the same area, grew up down south, etc. However in person was very dry and boring. I felt like I was caring the conversation more. I really did try this time. He had zero energy to me. At the end he didn't even open the door for me walking out (not cool). On to the next one folks~!

Well, before your post it didn't really occur to me that they might upset him. Even if it's a small chance, I wouldn't want to do that, so I thought best to delete them. Besides, what if my wife finds my account and thinks I want "kidlets"? Haha, that's a conversation I don't want to have.Sorry to read it was a bust but your attitude sounds great!

Do a lot of women like a guy who rides? My cousin, who is loaded, was in town for a week and bought a Harley then left it behind. I take it out maybe a couple of times a week and while I love riding again, I can't help but feel a little ridiculous on it. It's loud and garish and in the past when I've seen middle aged men on bikes like that, I can't help but think midlife crisis. At least I don't rock the balding + ponytail look. I will say it's better than no ride at all for sure.

It's OK, I'm just trying to move on from my ex. Each day is a small step forward. I just wish the guys would show more effort in dating.

For me personally I think it's pretty cool and shows the edgy adventurous side of a guy. My ex wasn't like this. He was very safe and followed the rules. When we went snowmobiling he was the slowest one, yet I was going pretty fast on it, over 60mph. I myself likes extreme sports, so any guy that rides is pretty attractive to me. I think it's attractive to women that like extreme sports. One of my older cousins has a cycle and it's a bit of p*ssy magnet, even when he was married. Once he got some lady preggo the marriage was over. He's about my height, dark skin, wears glasses, balding, goofy looking, etc and still pulls women into his late 50's over a damn Harley. LOL.

I have this problem, makes getting second dates a bish much of the time. He may just take time to relax and/or open himself up to new people.

He had zero energy and seemed like he didn't want to be there? My ex and I had instant spark within 2 minutes of meeting and stayed at the brewery till it closed. We couldn't stop looking and talking to each other. It was natural. That was an awesome date. Dating is just very tiring at this point.

At least you let it go this time. Hopefully you'd find a good match soon.

Just out of curiosity did you manage to get your money from that *******?

Haha I did on Friday. Going to give CMB 1 more day, if not I'm just going to hang it up for a week or 3. Most of the likes are weird and nerdy dudes. Oh well...

You don't catch fish if the line ain't in the water. What is the point of a break? We all know that results come slow if you ain't Chad or Stacy so just be patient and keep screening for a good one.

Fair enough, just food for thought.

Haha, cool. Thanks for the feedback. I'm encouraged by your cousin (not the cheating/preggo part though!). If I find myself single in my 50s I'll know there's still hope for me.

If a short goofy looking black guy can pull women (not all quality) then any miscer can find a lady.

In b4 otaku and psycho come in.

Thanks legs, well, the site sucked me in with a barrage of emails saying I was getting a lot of interactions. So I bought a month, logged in, and yeah... Clearly a lot of the interactions were from bots as they were 'gone' when I went to view them.

There were a couple legitimate interactions but from woman I have no interest in based on their profiles. I did have two new contacts today and one of the woman I thought is pretty cute, not sure if her profile is legit yet, will check out when I'm done with work. I'm getting a lot of views but only a few legit messages. I guess I'll need to reach out if I want to actually give this a go.

As far as physique, yeah, at my age, I think it could work in my favor, but I'm realistic about it. After all, most folks our age are pretty rough, and being above average in terms of build seems to confuse more people than it impresses, haha.

Plus, in photographs, with a shirt on, I'm kinda dyel... irl, I get comments from time to time on my arms/shoulders, etc - but it doesn't seem to translate in photographs, at least ones where I'm fully clothed... and i'm self aware enough to realize the shirtless mirror selfies (like in my profile) are going to do more harm than good on a dating site, esp. at my age!

Anyway, thanks for the advice - I've already cancelled my subscription to the service as I'm actually not ready to date, if I'm being honest, but will keep an eye on it for the month a bought, just to get a feel for it's potential.

lol They know how to get ya! Smart though to just pay for a month to see what it's all about. True about being above average at our age confusing people. I've legit had guys accuse me of being spam or a bot on those sites. I met one guy who did and afterwards he texted to apologize and said my pics were good, but I'm even cuter in person. Made me laugh.

Oh please please don't do a shirtless selfie!!!!!! lol Ugh, those are the worst. They just scream fukboi. I steered clear of those profiles no matter how good they looked. I think compared to most guys your age even if you think you look DYEL in a shirt, it'll be obvious you're fit.

Well good luck! Keep us updated.Ugh, people who can't hold a good conversation are the worst. And not opening the door on way out is just ridiculous and says a lot about someone. It's just common courtesy. Call me old fashioned, but there are just certain things a guy should do, especially on a first date.

ok.
So apparently they have apps now that can make you look slimmer than you really are.
Like remove double chin or make your torso, arms, legs, arse leaner.

seriously.
I can't believe a woman would basically give herself virtual plastic surgery in order to entice me into meeting her out for a drink.
fuk, I needed something a helluva lot stronger than beer before she looked like the pics she sent.

Opening doors don't have to be a guy's job. Nothing wrong with women opening door especially if she is in the front. I've opened doors for the guy when I was dating.

Something funny happened last Friday when I went out with my friend's to celebrate a birthday. This is the only forum that I read about men saying how women's life on easy mode by posting their pics on Instagram, blah..blah.. blah. My friends and I were walking back to the car in downtown and overheard couple of men saying the say thing. lol.. I was surprised that people actually say that in real life.