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My GF father passed away this morning. I need SRS advice.
11-15-2018, 04:16 PM
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#91
Originally Posted By billclintonnn⏩
yeah but an intelligent person understands that sometimes its not a persons fault for making a decision. A person is only a product of their environment and genetics and some people get dealt a short end of a stick, even as far as decision making.Trust me I know my mother. She isn't trying to manipulate me. She legit doesn't care what I do and says I need to figure it out. I get where she is coming from too. Why would she use it against us? She is going to Italy lol. She is a huge introvert, but I'd still want to be there when she is there just in case something stupid happens. This is my mother.
You might not be understanding what I'm saying. Here is the rundown. I leave for Italy the 24th. My GF and my mother are going to fly out on the 28th and then we are all coming back on December 7th. So I'm not sure where you're getting the one day thing from. I get the impression everyone here is assuming I'm not going to attend his funeral. I am, but the family isn't talking. Which I get I asked once and that's it because I'm not pushing this subject a million times. My GF is projected to come back on Monday. Again, this isn't a definite yes or no. So if you're saying I should go for one day I think it makes more logical sense to go if the service will be next week. So I'm not flying down for a 12 hour day to fly back home to fly down when they decided the date for the service. It would make more sense to me that way. Just my thought process.
It's not for one day it's for almost two weeks. A trip my GF is going on as well. My mom doesn't really care what I do just told me I need to make a decision that's best for me.
So by that logic you should be able to screw any woman in a relationship right? I mean, male species "in the wild" want to spread their seed to as many women as possible so you should be able to do that because that's how men are and you can't control it? Or how about someone who is overweight and can't stop eating? They can't control that either? Or if you're in a relationship and your girl decides to bang another guy because his status was higher than yours which is normal because women want a high status male? So you shouldn't have a problem with that right?
At the end of the day you're entitled to your own opinion. Alcoholism is NOT a disease. It's an action someone is partaking in as well as every statement I listed above. You're choosing to do these things. It's a process and he wanted to change when it was too late. As far as I'm concerned, only one other poster claimed alcoholism isn't entirely his fault, but said the process of detoxing is extremely hard since the body is so used to it and craves the addiction. Which I agree with.
I'm the last judgmental person on the planet. However, all actions have consequences.
The keyword with all of these responses is someone not being there for the funeral. I'm going to attend the funeral if they plan it.
You might not be understanding what I'm saying. Here is the rundown. I leave for Italy the 24th. My GF and my mother are going to fly out on the 28th and then we are all coming back on December 7th. So I'm not sure where you're getting the one day thing from. I get the impression everyone here is assuming I'm not going to attend his funeral. I am, but the family isn't talking. Which I get I asked once and that's it because I'm not pushing this subject a million times. My GF is projected to come back on Monday. Again, this isn't a definite yes or no. So if you're saying I should go for one day I think it makes more logical sense to go if the service will be next week. So I'm not flying down for a 12 hour day to fly back home to fly down when they decided the date for the service. It would make more sense to me that way. Just my thought process.
It's not for one day it's for almost two weeks. A trip my GF is going on as well. My mom doesn't really care what I do just told me I need to make a decision that's best for me.
So by that logic you should be able to screw any woman in a relationship right? I mean, male species "in the wild" want to spread their seed to as many women as possible so you should be able to do that because that's how men are and you can't control it? Or how about someone who is overweight and can't stop eating? They can't control that either? Or if you're in a relationship and your girl decides to bang another guy because his status was higher than yours which is normal because women want a high status male? So you shouldn't have a problem with that right?
At the end of the day you're entitled to your own opinion. Alcoholism is NOT a disease. It's an action someone is partaking in as well as every statement I listed above. You're choosing to do these things. It's a process and he wanted to change when it was too late. As far as I'm concerned, only one other poster claimed alcoholism isn't entirely his fault, but said the process of detoxing is extremely hard since the body is so used to it and craves the addiction. Which I agree with.
I'm the last judgmental person on the planet. However, all actions have consequences.
The keyword with all of these responses is someone not being there for the funeral. I'm going to attend the funeral if they plan it.
If you have a kid who grew up with a mother who was a prostitute on meth and never had education, would you blame that kid fro trying meth when they are a teen because thats the decision they made? Would you blame the kid or the mom?
Trick answer, it's neither. They are victims.
Thats why people say things like "lost the battle with cancer" or "lost the battle with alcoholism", its a reminder that sometimes people are victims of things outside of their control.
So if you say you're not judgmental, then IMO you would not factor in the "merit of cause of death" into your choice of what to do. Like as if he died for a good reason you would go but if he died for a bad reason its not worth going.
Imagine how your girlfriend would see that knowing youre making the decision of not to go because he didn't die for a "valid" reason...
Think about it. You say your not judgmental but thats what it is; thinking everyone is "responsible for their own actions" is a low IQ form of narcissistic judgmentalness that keeps people down and shows no mercy on those who are unlucky in life circumstance.
11-15-2018, 04:23 PM
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#92
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Originally Posted By billclintonnn⏩
I would have handled her absence from the funeral a lot better than her not being there when the world was crumbling.The keyword with all of these responses is someone not being there for the funeral. I'm going to attend the funeral if they plan it.
FL > PA
11-15-2018, 04:30 PM
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#93
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Originally Posted By MiscInformed⏩
Your mom is right, but she's also manipulating you. Just because she's your mom, doesn't mean she's not a woman. What she's actually telling you is that she expects you to put her wishes above your gf's wishes. If you don't, she will hold it against you and your gf and it will come up again at some later date when it suits her. You don't want that, especially if this gf one day becomes your wife.
You are in a predicament.
Can you find a way to be there for 1 day with your gf and still do everything you need to do for yourself and make your mom happy? If so, pick that 1 day strategically, explain in detail to your gf how difficult it is to be there for both she and your mom now, but that you're gonna find a way to make it there for some of it because she needs the support. Then do it and for that 1 day, be there for her fully. If the 1 day isn't possible, then it's a case of prioritizing your mom and the money she has already spent, over being there for your gf. I'm not sure she won't hold that against you. Even if they say something's not a problem, it often is. Nothing you can do about that though.
You are in a predicament.
Can you find a way to be there for 1 day with your gf and still do everything you need to do for yourself and make your mom happy? If so, pick that 1 day strategically, explain in detail to your gf how difficult it is to be there for both she and your mom now, but that you're gonna find a way to make it there for some of it because she needs the support. Then do it and for that 1 day, be there for her fully. If the 1 day isn't possible, then it's a case of prioritizing your mom and the money she has already spent, over being there for your gf. I'm not sure she won't hold that against you. Even if they say something's not a problem, it often is. Nothing you can do about that though.
Originally Posted By poolshark472⏩
mommy needs you with her by her side in Italy
gf needs you by her side because her dad died suddenly
tell your mom to suck it up for ONE DAY, make arrangements to be with your girlfriend for one day if there is a funeral service
your gf didn't pick her father, your mother chose her husband
gf needs you by her side because her dad died suddenly
tell your mom to suck it up for ONE DAY, make arrangements to be with your girlfriend for one day if there is a funeral service
your gf didn't pick her father, your mother chose her husband
Originally Posted By KingSWRV⏩
Why are you judging her dead father you scumfuk
People already said ITT that alcoholism is a disease and addiction that some people cant control, its genetic and changes your brain synapses and affects decision making.
You cant make a decision to quit when its controlling your ability to make decisions.
None of this has anything to do with why or how her father died, its about the scheduling and how bad she needs help/companionship, the reason he died should have nothing to do with it you judgmental scumbag.
People already said ITT that alcoholism is a disease and addiction that some people cant control, its genetic and changes your brain synapses and affects decision making.
You cant make a decision to quit when its controlling your ability to make decisions.
None of this has anything to do with why or how her father died, its about the scheduling and how bad she needs help/companionship, the reason he died should have nothing to do with it you judgmental scumbag.
Originally Posted By KingSWRV⏩
It's still not an excuse. Judging by your avi, it's obvious you take the gym very seriously. So using the same logic, people who are overweight can't help themselves assuming their parents are overweight and a "gene" got passed down to them. A low IQ form of narcissistic judgementalness is classifying humans as the same as animals. The difference between the two is humans have understanding and reasoning. Animals don't. My great grandfather was an alcoholic. He would beat everyone in his family including my grandfather. He got the worse because he would fight back. My grandfather NEVER drank alcohol because of this. My mother doesn't drink alcohol. It's not accurate to say, "well they didn't get the gene that's why they don't drink." They don't drink because they understand the destruction is brings upon everyone.yeah but an intelligent person understands that sometimes its not a persons fault for making a decision. A person is only a product of their environment and genetics and some people get dealt a short end of a stick, even as far as decision making.
If you have a kid who grew up with a mother who was a prostitute on meth and never had education, would you blame that kid fro trying meth when they are a teen because thats the decision they made? Would you blame the kid or the mom?
Trick answer, it's neither. They are victims.
Thats why people say things like "lost the battle with cancer" or "lost the battle with alcoholism", its a reminder that sometimes people are victims of things outside of their control.
So if you say you're not judgmental, then IMO you would not factor in the "merit of cause of death" into your choice of what to do. Like as if he died for a good reason you would go but if he died for a bad reason its not worth going.
Imagine how your girlfriend would see that knowing youre making the decision of not to go because he didn't die for a "valid" reason...
Think about it. You say your not judgmental but thats what it is; thinking everyone is "responsible for their own actions" is a low IQ form of narcissistic judgmentalness that keeps people down and shows no mercy on those who are unlucky in life circumstance.
If you have a kid who grew up with a mother who was a prostitute on meth and never had education, would you blame that kid fro trying meth when they are a teen because thats the decision they made? Would you blame the kid or the mom?
Trick answer, it's neither. They are victims.
Thats why people say things like "lost the battle with cancer" or "lost the battle with alcoholism", its a reminder that sometimes people are victims of things outside of their control.
So if you say you're not judgmental, then IMO you would not factor in the "merit of cause of death" into your choice of what to do. Like as if he died for a good reason you would go but if he died for a bad reason its not worth going.
Imagine how your girlfriend would see that knowing youre making the decision of not to go because he didn't die for a "valid" reason...
Think about it. You say your not judgmental but thats what it is; thinking everyone is "responsible for their own actions" is a low IQ form of narcissistic judgmentalness that keeps people down and shows no mercy on those who are unlucky in life circumstance.
The meth example isn't a good example. His mother didn't drink when she was pregnant. I'm not sure if drinking alcohol renders the same addiction with meth in kids, but that's not the case here.
Again comparing cancer to alcoholism is comparing apples to a hamburger at that point. And it's all subjective. I'm not entirely sure how cancer starts, but his liver failing and getting complications from that was from alcohol. He was aware on what needed to change, but didn't want to do it until it was too late.
And you are responsible for your own actions. Plenty of people have alcoholics surrounded by them and they don't let it affect them or cave into drinking and masking it as a "disease." My GF moved in with me because she wanted to be with me (LDR), but because she didn't want to witness her family get destroyed from drinking. Since moving, her life has significantly changed for the better.
I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.
11-15-2018, 04:40 PM
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#94
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Originally Posted By Roldz⏩
That's you personally. She initially told me to stay back because of my work and school. I told her I wanted to go if these other things weren't in the way and she said to not worry about it she understands why I can't go.I would have handled her absence from the funeral a lot better than her not being there when the world was crumbling.
I get why she is saying she wishes I was there, but if she told me from the start I want you here, I'd leave to be with her.
I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.
11-15-2018, 04:41 PM
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#95
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Originally Posted By billclintonnn⏩
Maybe you should have been my girlfriend a couple of years ago.That's you personally. She initially told me to stay back because of my work and school. I told her I wanted to go if these other things weren't in the way and she said to not worry about it she understands why I can't go.
I get why she is saying she wishes I was there, but if she told me from the start I want you here, I'd leave to be with her.
I get why she is saying she wishes I was there, but if she told me from the start I want you here, I'd leave to be with her.
FL > PA
11-15-2018, 04:46 PM
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#96
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Originally Posted By Roldz⏩
Lmao! You would have been happy no homo.Maybe you should have been my girlfriend a couple of years ago.
But I seriously get what you and everyone else are saying. I get women do chit tests all the time, but IMO now shouldn't be the time. I personally wouldn't tell her I understand you have work/school so don't feel guilty for not going if one of my parents passed and then get upset if she does just that. I'd want her to be there for the funeral and again I understand people have lives so I'd schedule it so it would work for everyone in a reasonable timeline.
I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.
11-15-2018, 05:00 PM
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#97
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Originally Posted By billclintonnn⏩
FWIW, it annoys me when people call alcoholism a disease too. It's not. However, there is a gene related to it. People with the gene are MUCH more susceptible to it. I don't know what it's like to have that gene, but I'd like to think I have empathy for those who do and end up going down that road and never being able to quit. There are lots of people in this world who get caught up in addictions that they can't control. It almost always ends their lives early. Maybe think of his alcoholism that way... instead of blaming him for not stopping, how about pitying him for not being able to stop. Life's easier when you see the shades of grey between two extremes.It's still not an excuse. Judging by your avi, it's obvious you take the gym very seriously. So using the same logic, people who are overweight can't help themselves assuming their parents are overweight and a "gene" got passed down to them. A low IQ form of narcissistic judgementalness is classifying humans as the same as animals. The difference between the two is humans have understanding and reasoning. Animals don't. My great grandfather was an alcoholic. He would beat everyone in his family including my grandfather. He got the worse because he would fight back. My grandfather NEVER drank alcohol because of this. My mother doesn't drink alcohol. It's not accurate to say, "well they didn't get the gene that's why they don't drink." They don't drink because they understand the destruction is brings upon everyone.
The meth example isn't a good example. His mother didn't drink when she was pregnant. I'm not sure if drinking alcohol renders the same addiction with meth in kids, but that's not the case here.
Again comparing cancer to alcoholism is comparing apples to a hamburger at that point. And it's all subjective. I'm not entirely sure how cancer starts, but his liver failing and getting complications from that was from alcohol. He was aware on what needed to change, but didn't want to do it until it was too late.
And you are responsible for your own actions. Plenty of people have alcoholics surrounded by them and they don't let it affect them or cave into drinking and masking it as a "disease." My GF moved in with me because she wanted to be with me (LDR), but because she didn't want to witness her family get destroyed from drinking. Since moving, her life has significantly changed for the better.
The meth example isn't a good example. His mother didn't drink when she was pregnant. I'm not sure if drinking alcohol renders the same addiction with meth in kids, but that's not the case here.
Again comparing cancer to alcoholism is comparing apples to a hamburger at that point. And it's all subjective. I'm not entirely sure how cancer starts, but his liver failing and getting complications from that was from alcohol. He was aware on what needed to change, but didn't want to do it until it was too late.
And you are responsible for your own actions. Plenty of people have alcoholics surrounded by them and they don't let it affect them or cave into drinking and masking it as a "disease." My GF moved in with me because she wanted to be with me (LDR), but because she didn't want to witness her family get destroyed from drinking. Since moving, her life has significantly changed for the better.
That's beside the point though. He's dead. It happened at an inconvenient time for you. You just have to figure out which obligations are most important to you and how to be there for as many of them as you can, in order of importance.
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11-15-2018, 05:10 PM
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#98
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Originally Posted By MiscInformed⏩
I totally agree with you. I do pity him as you say. He lost a brother who did the exact same thing as him and he claims the reason why he drinks so much was because his brother passed away. My GF and I didn't think that was the case. His ex wife did divorce him because of drinking, but apparently this was before he turned full drinking mode on.FWIW, it annoys me when people call alcoholism a disease too. It's not. However, there is a gene related to it. People with the gene are MUCH more susceptible to it. I don't know what it's like to have that gene, but I'd like to think I have empathy for those who do and end up going down that road and never being able to quit. There are lots of people in this world who get caught up in addictions that they can't control. It almost always ends their lives early. Maybe think of his alcoholism that way... instead of blaming him for not stopping, how about pitying him for not being able to stop. Life's easier when you see the shades of grey between two extremes.
That's beside the point though. He's dead. It happened at an inconvenient time for you. You just have to figure out which obligations are most important to you and how to be there for as many of them as you can, in order of importance.
That's beside the point though. He's dead. It happened at an inconvenient time for you. You just have to figure out which obligations are most important to you and how to be there for as many of them as you can, in order of importance.
I honestly think he was depressed about something and alcohol made him forget. I'm not entirely sure because when I was there (which I was there a lot) he painted the image of being a tough guy. Now was he? I'm not sure, but his personality gave me the way that nothing affected him.
This just happened at the worst possible time. If this happened a month ago this thread wouldn't even have been made.
I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.
11-15-2018, 05:25 PM
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#99
Originally Posted By billclintonnn⏩
-As far as fat people sure we joke about them and whales all the time but yeah, realistically nobody really denies its a scientific fact that genetics define a humans propensity for obesity as such is the same with alcohol.It's still not an excuse. Judging by your avi, it's obvious you take the gym very seriously. So using the same logic, people who are overweight can't help themselves assuming their parents are overweight and a "gene" got passed down to them. A low IQ form of narcissistic judgementalness is classifying humans as the same as animals. The difference between the two is humans have understanding and reasoning. Animals don't. My great grandfather was an alcoholic. He would beat everyone in his family including my grandfather. He got the worse because he would fight back. My grandfather NEVER drank alcohol because of this. My mother doesn't drink alcohol. It's not accurate to say, "well they didn't get the gene that's why they don't drink." They don't drink because they understand the destruction is brings upon everyone.
The meth example isn't a good example. His mother didn't drink when she was pregnant. I'm not sure if drinking alcohol renders the same addiction with meth in kids, but that's not the case here.
Again comparing cancer to alcoholism is comparing apples to a hamburger at that point. And it's all subjective. I'm not entirely sure how cancer starts, but his liver failing and getting complications from that was from alcohol. He was aware on what needed to change, but didn't want to do it until it was too late.
And you are responsible for your own actions. Plenty of people have alcoholics surrounded by them and they don't let it affect them or cave into drinking and masking it as a "disease." My GF moved in with me because she wanted to be with me (LDR), but because she didn't want to witness her family get destroyed from drinking. Since moving, her life has significantly changed for the better.
The meth example isn't a good example. His mother didn't drink when she was pregnant. I'm not sure if drinking alcohol renders the same addiction with meth in kids, but that's not the case here.
Again comparing cancer to alcoholism is comparing apples to a hamburger at that point. And it's all subjective. I'm not entirely sure how cancer starts, but his liver failing and getting complications from that was from alcohol. He was aware on what needed to change, but didn't want to do it until it was too late.
And you are responsible for your own actions. Plenty of people have alcoholics surrounded by them and they don't let it affect them or cave into drinking and masking it as a "disease." My GF moved in with me because she wanted to be with me (LDR), but because she didn't want to witness her family get destroyed from drinking. Since moving, her life has significantly changed for the better.
-As far as being animals that is also congruent with the point I was trying to make. For example if you leave a baby alone in a forest to be raised by wolves or whatever, that child will not become a fully developed human that can read, write and reason. (all of which are interconnected) It is our society that teaches us not to be animals, not our nature. So that goes with what I was saying about them being a victim because not everybody matriculates perfectly into modernity. Thats not a reason for them to die.
-The meth example shows an extreme example of how far would you take your totalitarian view that everyone is held accountable for their actions. Obviously in extreme cases not even you can say that they are responsible but my position is about where do you draw the line? Its hard to.
I think you should just take breathe and step back and think, are you in a stressful situation. Yes. do you have some undue anger in your heart that you might reconsider under a calmer mindset? yes.
11-15-2018, 05:32 PM
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#100
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i think if u actually do love the girl u should at least be there for just the funeral. i have some cousins that didn't show up to my mom's funeral because of "work and school" and those people can go **** themselves. no way can i or will i ever forgive something like that personally. likewise i don't expect them to forgive me if i miss out on my uncle or aunt's funeral. but i don't intend to if it happens.
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11-15-2018, 05:34 PM
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#101
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Sorry to be that guy, but grow some balls and deal with loss like everyone else.
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11-15-2018, 05:38 PM
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#102
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Originally Posted By KingSWRV⏩
I believe there is a gene, but I also believe it's on the person to adapt and overcome. Just my personal opinion. It's possible for someone to change they just want to do it. I'm not perfect, I've changed a lot, but it's because I came to the understanding of what I'm doing is wrong. And made the change because I put myself in someone else's shoes.-As far as fat people sure we joke about them and whales all the time but yeah, realistically nobody really denies its a scientific fact that genetics define a humans propensity for obesity as such is the same with alcohol.
-As far as being animals that is also congruent with the point I was trying to make. For example if you leave a baby alone in a forest to be raised by wolves or whatever, that child will not become a fully developed human that can read, write and reason. (all of which are interconnected) It is our society that teaches us not to be animals, not our nature. So that goes with what I was saying about them being a victim because not everybody matriculates perfectly into modernity. Thats not a reason for them to die.
-The meth example shows an extreme example of how far would you take your totalitarian view that everyone is held accountable for their actions. Obviously in extreme cases not even you can say that they are responsible but my position is about where do you draw the line? Its hard to.
I think you should just take breathe and step back and think, are you in a stressful situation. Yes. do you have some undue anger in your heart that you might reconsider under a calmer mindset? yes.
-As far as being animals that is also congruent with the point I was trying to make. For example if you leave a baby alone in a forest to be raised by wolves or whatever, that child will not become a fully developed human that can read, write and reason. (all of which are interconnected) It is our society that teaches us not to be animals, not our nature. So that goes with what I was saying about them being a victim because not everybody matriculates perfectly into modernity. Thats not a reason for them to die.
-The meth example shows an extreme example of how far would you take your totalitarian view that everyone is held accountable for their actions. Obviously in extreme cases not even you can say that they are responsible but my position is about where do you draw the line? Its hard to.
I think you should just take breathe and step back and think, are you in a stressful situation. Yes. do you have some undue anger in your heart that you might reconsider under a calmer mindset? yes.
I do agree with you. This is definitely the most difficult thing I've ever been though. I know it's being portrayed as I'm taking work/school as a priority over being with her, but a lot of this depends on what she wants to do. A lot of what she is saying is I don't know or this will probably happen. I get what happened was terrible as I got emotional too, but probably isn't a 100% yes. Talked to someone from my unit and he recently went through the same thing with his uncle, he took himself off a trip, but then his family rescheduled the service. He was upset and I get why. I don't want this to happen to either side. And I don't want it to seem like I'm prioritizing Italy over her father. IMO, I'd take Italy for her as a recovery process. She has never been out of the country and I think it would be nice for her as a step to move on. But that's just me. When my father's father passed, my mother got judged by my aunt because she took my family to Niagara Falls as a way to change the scenario to something more positive. My aunt took it as really you're going to do that? I think regardless of what you do someone will get pissed. Definitely have a lot to think about, I just pray they plan is next week because I'll be there. I don't think it's good to not tell me anything, I go to Italy, they plan it then and then I really can't go. But I don't think it's acceptable to pull myself off just in case they plan it either. Because this is work it isn't a vacation I planned. I can't go to the Guard and say yeah push this back two more weeks for me because I'm busy. Tough decision.
I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.
11-15-2018, 05:40 PM
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#103
- Cadet4life
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do what u gotta do
be the turtle in the race.
11-15-2018, 05:44 PM
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#104
11-15-2018, 06:51 PM
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#105
- guest89
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- guest89
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On one hand if you love this girl and plan on being with her long term. Your probably going to need to be with her for moral support. But I think after the funeral staying occupied/busy is more important then just mourning. Its better to move on ASAP and make positive moves for your life. Maybe I'm just a dick. But I'd prioritize my own life/future before screwing myself over because someone who makes bad decisions died because of them.
I've known a few (4 or 5) people that died due to drinking too much alcohol (1 in this exact manner actually).. Maybe another 2 or 3 that OD'd. And I'm related to about a 15 people that died from lung cancer. (Heavy smokers from the time they were 12-14 till when they died). TBH you can only go to so many funerals before you don't have any sympathy. Perhaps I just became desensitized because I was exposed to so many deaths related to those addictions while growing up.
Sucks for the family but all you can do is move on with your own life.
Originally Posted By MiscInformed⏩
This is BS. He made a conscious decision to start drinking alcohol. He made a conscious decision to drink so much it damaged his liver. He made a conscious decision to drink himself to death. Yes he built up a physical dependency. But he did that due to excessive drinking. Even after that physical dependency he could have entered rehab at any point. All it took was a choice. Because he has kids/a family if no other reason.Don't dig your heels in on that. Alcoholics can't help themselves. No matter what you personally think, most people accept that an alcoholic has no control over their lives once they get to the point of being an alcoholic. Differing with this view is just going to make you a pariah and since he's the father of a woman you might some day marry (and possibly the grandfather of the kids you will one day have), best to tread lightly in that minefield.
Some alcoholics can stop cold turkey. Some cannot. There are people who literally drink themselves to death knowing what's happening and still not being able to stop. If that's what happened to him, have some compassion. Think of all he missed out on because of it.
Some alcoholics can stop cold turkey. Some cannot. There are people who literally drink themselves to death knowing what's happening and still not being able to stop. If that's what happened to him, have some compassion. Think of all he missed out on because of it.
I've known a few (4 or 5) people that died due to drinking too much alcohol (1 in this exact manner actually).. Maybe another 2 or 3 that OD'd. And I'm related to about a 15 people that died from lung cancer. (Heavy smokers from the time they were 12-14 till when they died). TBH you can only go to so many funerals before you don't have any sympathy. Perhaps I just became desensitized because I was exposed to so many deaths related to those addictions while growing up.
Sucks for the family but all you can do is move on with your own life.
11-15-2018, 07:26 PM
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#106
- billclintonnn
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- billclintonnn
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Well this relationship is pretty much over with lmao.
She told me that her family planned for December 1st for the service so that her family can attend. I was never consulted from anyone about this. This lands during Italy. So it kind of bugs me she has the option to ask to move it back to December 15th. Not mainly for us to go there, but also because she has school She is just dropping out of everything to be there.
When she told me the date my response was, "So that means you're dropping out of school, not going to Italy and I have to ask to cancel Italy? Is there a possibility this could get pushed back to the 15th?" What else am I supposed to say because I think these are all concerns. Specifically her schooling. I told her alright I need to talk to the unit and see what happens (which is accurate). Then she says if that's more important to you then do it. I'm staying with my family. I never said Italy was more important I said I need to talk to them because I do. I then state that my mother is going regardless of whether or not I have to go. Which again is true. I said this because she said she is not trying to hold my mother or myself back from Italy, but throws in just to let you know I'd be there for you no matter what. I asked, "you're not worried about leaving school?" She says, "Do you not understand my father is gone?" I said, Yes I do (her name). And then she sent the money I spent buying her plane ticket back to me.
She is projecting I'm not going even though I never even said that. Am I in the wrong here when I say she is acting crazy? She has the option to schedule this where it doesn't affect our schedules and she isn't changing it. I understand her father passed away, but her family can push this back two weeks for everyone else, but not for her schooling nor our trip together?
She told me that her family planned for December 1st for the service so that her family can attend. I was never consulted from anyone about this. This lands during Italy. So it kind of bugs me she has the option to ask to move it back to December 15th. Not mainly for us to go there, but also because she has school She is just dropping out of everything to be there.
When she told me the date my response was, "So that means you're dropping out of school, not going to Italy and I have to ask to cancel Italy? Is there a possibility this could get pushed back to the 15th?" What else am I supposed to say because I think these are all concerns. Specifically her schooling. I told her alright I need to talk to the unit and see what happens (which is accurate). Then she says if that's more important to you then do it. I'm staying with my family. I never said Italy was more important I said I need to talk to them because I do. I then state that my mother is going regardless of whether or not I have to go. Which again is true. I said this because she said she is not trying to hold my mother or myself back from Italy, but throws in just to let you know I'd be there for you no matter what. I asked, "you're not worried about leaving school?" She says, "Do you not understand my father is gone?" I said, Yes I do (her name). And then she sent the money I spent buying her plane ticket back to me.
She is projecting I'm not going even though I never even said that. Am I in the wrong here when I say she is acting crazy? She has the option to schedule this where it doesn't affect our schedules and she isn't changing it. I understand her father passed away, but her family can push this back two weeks for everyone else, but not for her schooling nor our trip together?
I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.
11-15-2018, 07:31 PM
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#107
11-15-2018, 07:33 PM
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#108
- Frank Drebin
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- Frank Drebin
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She's acting crazy because her dad suddenly passed away
You're seriously asking her family to move the funeral out two weeks to suit your schedule? Lmaoooo
You're seriously asking her family to move the funeral out two weeks to suit your schedule? Lmaoooo
11-15-2018, 07:34 PM
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#109
- billclintonnn
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- billclintonnn
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Originally Posted By Frank
I literally have no idea how to respond to her because I feel like no matter what I say I'm going to be wrong.She's acting crazy because her dad suddenly passed away
I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.
11-15-2018, 07:37 PM
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#110
- Frank Drebin
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Originally Posted By billclintonnn⏩
don't say you weren't warnedI literally have no idea how to respond to her because I feel like no matter what I say I'm going to be wrong.
11-15-2018, 07:44 PM
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#111
- texansfankillme
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- texansfankillme
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Typed a long post before seeing response 109. OP, be as nice and supportive as you possibly can, even in the face of her projecting anger and frustration in an unfair way, because her phuckin dad died. But DEFINITELY go to Italy. If she can't calm down and see the situation rationally when you get back, then it might be over.
11-15-2018, 07:45 PM
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#112
- Bracket199
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- Bracket199
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Originally Posted By Frank
Her dad died and you're playing the victim?She's acting crazy because her dad suddenly passed away
You're seriously asking her family to move the funeral out two weeks to suit your schedule? Lmaoooo
You're seriously asking her family to move the funeral out two weeks to suit your schedule? Lmaoooo
Are you seriously that dense?
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11-15-2018, 07:58 PM
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#113
- Devils
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I dunno man, holidays are just holidays. Put it this way, there's no way you two will enjoy the holiday with this going on. So just make up your mind to go or not, doing it could show you are committed.
But then after all this she breaks it off anyway 3 months after, ****ing women lmao you're stuck
But then after all this she breaks it off anyway 3 months after, ****ing women lmao you're stuck
11-15-2018, 08:11 PM
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#114
- billclintonnn
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- billclintonnn
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Originally Posted By Bracket199⏩
I’m not playing the victim. However regardless I have her a gift that she returned something that her sister did to her family that royally pissed her off.Her dad died and you're playing the victim?
Are you seriously that dense?
Are you seriously that dense?
I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.
11-15-2018, 08:28 PM
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#115
- Bracket199
- Smile Motherfcuker!
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- Bracket199
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Originally Posted By billclintonnn⏩
I’m not playing the victim. However regardless I have her a gift that she returned something that her sister did to her family that royally pissed her off.
Originally Posted By billclintonnn⏩
I basically bolded everything for you to read again and tell me how you're not selfish.Well this relationship is pretty much over with lmao.
She told me that her family planned for December 1st for the service so that her family can attend. I was never consulted from anyone about this.This lands during Italy. So it kind of bugs me she has the option to ask to move it back to December 15th. Not mainly for us to go there, but also because she has schoolShe is just dropping out of everything to be there.
When she told me the date my response was,"So that means you're dropping out of school, not going to Italy and I have to ask to cancel Italy? Is there a possibility this could get pushed back to the 15th?" What else am I supposed to say because I think these are all concerns.Specifically her schooling. I told her alright I need to talk to the unit and see what happens (which is accurate). Then she says if that's more important to you then do it. I'm staying with my family. I never said Italy was more important I said I need to talk to them because I do. I then state that my mother is going regardless of whether or not I have to go. Which again is true. I said this because she said she is not trying to hold my mother or myself back from Italy, but throws in just to let you know I'd be there for you no matter what. I asked, "you're not worried about leaving school?" She says, "Do you not understand my father is gone?" I said, Yes I do (her name). And then she sent the money I spent buying her plane ticket back to me.
She told me that her family planned for December 1st for the service so that her family can attend. I was never consulted from anyone about this.This lands during Italy. So it kind of bugs me she has the option to ask to move it back to December 15th. Not mainly for us to go there, but also because she has schoolShe is just dropping out of everything to be there.
When she told me the date my response was,"So that means you're dropping out of school, not going to Italy and I have to ask to cancel Italy? Is there a possibility this could get pushed back to the 15th?" What else am I supposed to say because I think these are all concerns.Specifically her schooling. I told her alright I need to talk to the unit and see what happens (which is accurate). Then she says if that's more important to you then do it. I'm staying with my family. I never said Italy was more important I said I need to talk to them because I do. I then state that my mother is going regardless of whether or not I have to go. Which again is true. I said this because she said she is not trying to hold my mother or myself back from Italy, but throws in just to let you know I'd be there for you no matter what. I asked, "you're not worried about leaving school?" She says, "Do you not understand my father is gone?" I said, Yes I do (her name). And then she sent the money I spent buying her plane ticket back to me.
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*Go to theme parks and sit with strangers in rides. To get social pics for Tinder Crew*
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11-15-2018, 08:32 PM
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#116
- Frank Drebin
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Originally Posted By redraider86⏩
well he wasn't even consulted when they picked a dateYou...you asked your girlfriend to reschedule her dead father's funeral?
11-15-2018, 08:36 PM
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#117
- HairyWBush
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nah dude fuk that those are the circumstances. that's the way it happened. she couldn't have always been with a habitual drunk either for God's sakes. you have your life priorities and you can't ruin them because you're so far. that's why this long distance chit rarely ever pays off. something will come up to break it up. but anyways, she wasn't there just like you can't.
she's not coming with you either now, bet.
she's not coming with you either now, bet.
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"Slide down your throat?? We chew them, savor them, suck up the little juice left behind in the shell then swallow them. Only amateurs try to swallow them whole."
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as seen here: https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=180019913&p=1636230303&viewfull=1#post1636230303
11-15-2018, 08:48 PM
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#118
- Gt3x24x7
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- Gt3x24x7
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Bruh don't even THINK about sabotaging your entire future career and life goals over one woman. Especially if you haven't even been dating for a long time. Sucks it happened but think carefully. If you can't get more time off from work and school, then nothing you can do. Commitment and sacrifice or throw it all down the drain. Choose wisely srs
11-15-2018, 08:55 PM
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#119
- wickedman
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- wickedman
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Dude you goofed so hard with that text. I almost think you're trolling.
At that point - you have to realize there is ZERO chance that she is going to Italy and you need to cut your losses, not dig a deeper hole with a crazy person that just had her alcoholic dad die. Like did you really think she was going to come and have a good time at this point? You just needed to say, "Alright, I totally understand." And then either find a way to show up for the funeral and then get back to Italy, or just explain to her why it is impossible and how "sorry" you are. I told you on the first page the optimal play would have been to fly out there immediately this weekend, be with them, show that you care enough to fly out to be supportive and then just come back, miss no important stuff, and then you don't have to feel bad about going to Italy.
Now this situation is not salvageable, I recommend not continuing this relationship even if there is some kind of reconciliation after all this **** is over with, because it will inevitably go to Hell as soon as you trigger her again - she'll immediately go back to this situation. Honestly the only way to fix it would be to cancel Italy, which still might not fix it, jeopardize your future, and screw over your mom. You probably don't end up with this girl anyway, time to move on.
At that point - you have to realize there is ZERO chance that she is going to Italy and you need to cut your losses, not dig a deeper hole with a crazy person that just had her alcoholic dad die. Like did you really think she was going to come and have a good time at this point? You just needed to say, "Alright, I totally understand." And then either find a way to show up for the funeral and then get back to Italy, or just explain to her why it is impossible and how "sorry" you are. I told you on the first page the optimal play would have been to fly out there immediately this weekend, be with them, show that you care enough to fly out to be supportive and then just come back, miss no important stuff, and then you don't have to feel bad about going to Italy.
Now this situation is not salvageable, I recommend not continuing this relationship even if there is some kind of reconciliation after all this **** is over with, because it will inevitably go to Hell as soon as you trigger her again - she'll immediately go back to this situation. Honestly the only way to fix it would be to cancel Italy, which still might not fix it, jeopardize your future, and screw over your mom. You probably don't end up with this girl anyway, time to move on.
#FreeCryptoBandit
11-15-2018, 08:58 PM
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#120
- Burgerbuger
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You can't save a person who isn't willing to help herself. Don't throw away your future man.
Kindness is all that matters in life
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