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Forum » Does going to therapy make you less of a man?
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Thread: Does going to therapy make you less of a man?

post 1568343391 12-11-2018, 02:54 AM
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Does going to therapy make you less of a man?

Asking for a friend.

Felt like a beta chit in there talking about my feels and chit. Really fuking gay. They didn't have therapy for the millions of men who fought in WW2. Maybe I am less of a man. Too many feels and not enough strength. They really treat you like a vulnerable child there. What do you bros think?
post 1568343461 12-11-2018, 02:56 AM
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We all learn how to deal with things through certain methods, going to therapy is just a direct way of doing so, rather than learning lessons via another method

It's just learning new information, is all
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post 1568343511 12-11-2018, 02:58 AM
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Originally Posted By Rajc⏩
yes
post 1568343821 12-11-2018, 03:09 AM
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Nope but does make you less of an idiot.
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post 1568343981 12-11-2018, 03:15 AM
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Strong insecurities...
post 1568344071 12-11-2018, 03:19 AM
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Originally Posted By DoctorKazama⏩
Strong insecurities...
Bro it really does feel gay being there. It's very emasculating. Men don't cry or talk about their feels. Men are supposed to be strong. I think deep down I am a coward, and it is that cowardice that has held me back from finding that inner strength. If I had been this way during WW2, they'd have just shot me for cowardice. Sad, but true. How can anyone think of being seen as an attractive man, fit to be a father, if he cannot even take care of himself and find his own strength?
post 1568344161 12-11-2018, 03:23 AM
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Originally Posted By wincel⏩
Bro it really does feel gay being there. It's very emasculating. Men don't cry or talk about their feels. Men are supposed to be strong. I think deep down I am a coward, and it is that cowardice that has held me back from finding that inner strength. If I had been this way during WW2, they'd have just shot me for cowardice. Sad, but true. How can anyone think of being seen as an attractive man, fit to be a father, if he cannot even take care of himself and find his own strength?
I've been to therapy and they didn't treat me like a child at all. Maybe try a few therapists until you find one you like and avoid female therapists.
post 1568344181 12-11-2018, 03:25 AM
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Nope. Do whatever you need to feel better.
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post 1568344271 12-11-2018, 03:28 AM
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Originally Posted By Packingfudge⏩
I've been to therapy and they didn't treat me like a child at all. Maybe try a few therapists until you find one you like and avoid female therapists.
Mine is a group therapy session, and even though the handouts are very helpful, the way we share and discuss things makes me really feel like a child. I have a 1 on 1 session with psychiatrist tomorrow I think.
post 1568344301 12-11-2018, 03:30 AM
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A big part of it involves behavioural patterns. "Why do you do the things you do", as opposed to "how does that make you feel?"

Not all therapy is for emotional support.
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post 1568344311 12-11-2018, 03:30 AM
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Been there, done that and don't feel less of a man in the least. Nothing wrong with getting some help when needed.
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post 1568344471 12-11-2018, 03:36 AM
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Originally Posted By steeler505⏩
A big part of it involves behavioural patterns. "Why do you do the things you do", as opposed to "how does that make you feel?"

Not all therapy is for emotional support.
There was a handout about boundaries, and I found it very helpful. It has helped me look at my own behaviors and I have identified a lot of behaviors that were actually labeled as unhealthy in terms of respecting my own and other peoples' emotional and conversational boundaries.
post 1568344681 12-11-2018, 03:42 AM
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For those who have gone thought it, was the significance of you paying for it and thinking the person your talking to know what they are talking too, weight the advice higher than if you just received the SAME advice from the internet or a friend?
post 1568344811 12-11-2018, 03:48 AM
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post 1568345351 12-11-2018, 04:15 AM
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Originally Posted By Devils⏩
For those who have gone thought it, was the significance of you paying for it and thinking the person your talking to know what they are talking too, weight the advice higher than if you just received the SAME advice from the internet or a friend?
No personal experience, but I think that someone who doesn't know you as a friend would definitely have a different outside perspective, which could be beneficial. Also, a therapist isn't an oracle, the goal of a good therapist should be to help you come up with realizations on your own, not to advise and preach.
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post 1568345381 12-11-2018, 04:16 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
This

I did two stints of therapy, one as a young adult for depression and one after my divorce for grief. Both times really helped me out a lot. Just nice to be able to talk about your problems to an impartial person, without burdening or boring a loved one or friend. Helps you understand yourself better.

Btw you can seek out a male therapist if that’s more comfortable. Or maybe a pretty female therapist would be nice too.
They are not impartial mate, you are paying them money on the assumption they will help you with a problem.
post 1568345621 12-11-2018, 04:23 AM
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whatever helps you cope with stuff i guess. i feel like i can talk things through with myself, if that makes sense
post 1568345661 12-11-2018, 04:25 AM
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post 1568345681 12-11-2018, 04:25 AM
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the only thing worse than being depressed is having to pay someone to hear youre depressed

tell a friend, get drunk at a bar and tell a stranger, write it down...but to pay someone? lol
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post 1568345811 12-11-2018, 04:30 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
This

I did two stints of therapy, one as a young adult for depression and one after my divorce for grief. Both times really helped me out a lot. Just nice to be able to talk about your problems to an impartial person, without burdening or boring a loved one or friend. Helps you understand yourself better.

Btw you can seek out a male therapist if that’s more comfortable. Or maybe a pretty female therapist would be nice too.
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post 1568345861 12-11-2018, 04:32 AM
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The complete opposite.

Its no different than having a certain set of tools to do your job; without them you aren’t doing your job well. A good therapist will help you recognize things that (if applied) can be very beneficial.

I have a guy I see and anyone that would judge someone based on this is either a whinging baby that can’t accelt that they have problems or they are in denial about why they’re also fuked up.
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post 1568345971 12-11-2018, 04:35 AM
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Nah you're just insecure because talking about your shortcomings in life makes you face your issues instead of coping by making 1000 ****gy threads full of excuses. Having a conversation about your problems doesn't make you a coward, but all the years of being a stubborn moron and not seeking out help when you clearly need it does.

Instead of using your intellect to fight against finding solutions to your issues humble yourself and listen to what the professional has to say, then actually try to implement change. You have a tendency to rationalize, which imo can be a very large obstacle to making progress in therapy. Good luck *******.
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post 1568346601 12-11-2018, 04:59 AM
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No it doesn't. It makes you more of a man. You recognized that you need help, and can't do it alone. Takes a lot of strength to come to terms with that as a man.
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post 1568346651 12-11-2018, 05:01 AM
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You know we wouldn't need so much damn therapy if we could talk about our feelings and **** without ripping each other to shreds. But that's just not the way of men, so yeah, get therapy. Or find some lonely women online and dump on them. Find someone you can talk to who is so far removed from your **** you can deal with it.
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post 1568346751 12-11-2018, 05:06 AM
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Originally Posted By FailedPotential⏩
We all learn how to deal with things through certain methods, going to therapy is just a direct way of doing so, rather than learning lessons via another method

It's just learning new information, is all
This. There is nothing wrong with going to therapy.
Originally Posted By JUGGERNAUT1333⏩
No it doesn't. It makes you more of a man. You recognized that you need help, and can't do it alone. Takes a lot of strength to come to terms with that as a man.
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post 1568346841 12-11-2018, 05:10 AM
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You might want to change your location OP, unless you really do live in Africa.
post 1568346861 12-11-2018, 05:12 AM
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i gave a 75 yr old therapist a run for his money will hunting style

i think everyone should try it

that said, if you don't know yourself , who does?
post 1568346951 12-11-2018, 05:14 AM
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I don't think therapy itself is bad, I just don't like the way it's done.

Went to a shrink once sophomore year in college when I was getting seriously depressed over schoolwork. It was one of the most uncanny things I've ever done. They set me up with a PhD student and he just stared at me with this wide-eyed empty stare and this fake smile and listened as I bitched about my life and just went "yeah... yeah..." after everything I said. I don't think he gave a flying fuk. Then he tried to set me up with CBT. I didn't end up doing it cause I didn't want to see that guy again, whole environment seems fake as ****.

The other thing is that I think a lot of shrinks are way too eager to push pills. Sometimes they're the answer, sometimes they're not, but I feel like they're used as sort of a one-size-fits-all solution. The way we hand out SSRIs, and frankly, how cheap and readily available they are (like $5 a bottle even without insurance and any shrink will hook you up with some) is disturbing. It's like fukkin **** for a Walmart-and-Netflix 21st century America.

Addressing your issues head on takes some courage to do -ignoringyour problems or worse yet pinning them on other people is cowardice. But me personally, I have always felt that I got better results, if you will, by just having a self-dialogue and asking "why do I want to do this", "why do I feel that way", etc, then having some fukkin shrink give me a wide-eyed stare and nodding at me. To be honest with you bro, I think you are beyond that introspection point, no hate. You've got some hangups to the point where I think you've got to call in the cavalry. Even if it's chitty, even if psychiatry is often really flawed, you've frankly been in a rut for 30 years and it's pretty clear at this point that you aren't going to climb out of it on your own.

But you're not a coward by addressing that. Being a coward would be consciously ignoring the issue even when you know one's there and going "I'm fine, it's women/liberals/other people that cause all the problems!"

Interesting sig change BTW... replacing one of the strongest sigs on the misc.
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post 1568347221 12-11-2018, 05:24 AM
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Originally Posted By JewSeeJohn⏩
That's because no body cares about what a man feels. You see society sees men as expendable and only worthy if they are making other peoples lives better.

Complain to your friend ? Good luck with that, most guys just take this as a sign of weakness and pretend to not experience the same thing same thing as you, in order to appear alphas fuark.

Complain to your female ? Good luck with that... She won't be seeing you as a man for much longer.

Accept the fact that as a man you're born alone, and you die alone.
I totally agree with your end point. But you'll be more balanced if you don't keep all of it in. Just don't dump your emotional turmoil where it matters, which is why therapy is useful. Actually it will make you seem more adjusted to everyone else because then you look like more of a rock than you are. It's about the illusion.
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post 1568347391 12-11-2018, 05:30 AM
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No. Mental health is important.

1. Go to therapy and potentially come out with a healthy mind.
2. Don't go. End up with depression/anxiety/whatever.

No brainer.
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