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Forum » When does marriage actually make sense?
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Thread: When does marriage actually make sense?

post 1576891271 03-29-2019, 04:51 AM
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#121
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Originally Posted By wincel⏩
Marriage wouldn't be a problem if divorce rape weren't so common. Honestly, the rule that she gets half + child support is outdated af. If they stopped giving aid to people based on family size and number of children, and they stopped all alimony/child support + giving her half, marriage would make a lot more sense. I mean, it used to be "til death do us part", and divorces used to be reserved mainly for adultery. That's not how it works anymore.
"Women are equal to men!.... but give us half and monthly payments because we can't take care of ourselves.....".

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post 1576892941 03-29-2019, 05:44 AM
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#122
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You want to raise a family or you are ugly and/or broke. That's basically it.
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post 1576901421 03-29-2019, 08:20 AM
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#123
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Originally Posted By chivasregal⏩
I’m going through a divorce. No kids, no property. Pretty simple. Dated for 6 years before getting married. Only married 1.5 years. Here’s what I learned from the short time:

-always respect her, love her, care for her, but don’t be afraid to show her you also love yourself and that ultimately you are the prize. You don’t need to say it, just don’t let her run (and/or her family) you over.

- there will be arguments of course. You both need to get better at fixing those or talking things out like adults.

-don’t marry someone who doesn’t have a job/doesn’t have a promising future. Love and sex might make you oversee this, but don’t do it cause it’ll bite you in the ass.

-look at her family. That’s who you’re marrying too. Look at the mom...your wife will probably look like that in the future.

-violence is never the answer (this is the reason for my divorce. Violence on her part). Always try to work things out, but once it happens repeatedly, leave.

-if during your relationship/engaged time, you’re still wanting to bang other girls, screw around or you can’t seem to stop thinking of other girls, don’t get married!

I know i haven’t been single in years. But looking at other couples/marriages from the outside, I see that a lot of dudes seem miserable and settle because they don’t want to be alone. I’m gonna embrace my single life for some time.
good advice here. will rep on spread.

sorry to hear about your divorce. what changed after dating for 6 years? did marriage get to her head?
Originally Posted By wincel⏩
Marriage wouldn't be a problem if divorce rape weren't so common. Honestly, the rule that she gets half + child support is outdated af. If they stopped giving aid to people based on family size and number of children, and they stopped all alimony/child support + giving her half, marriage would make a lot more sense. I mean, it used to be "til death do us part", and divorces used to be reserved mainly for adultery. That's not how it works anymore.
the issue is with "no fault" meaning one person can fuk up and still ruin the life of the other. i already have problems with giving a small percentage in tax to the government, why would i want to give 50% of my assets to someone else even if they're the one that is in the wrong?
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post 1576901501 03-29-2019, 08:22 AM
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#124
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Originally Posted By ssilv⏩
the issue is with "no fault" meaning one person can fuk up and still ruin the life of the other. i already have problems with giving a small percentage in tax to the government, why would i want to give 50% of my assets to someone else even if they're the one that is in the wrong?
penalty for lying to the state about being Best Friends Forever?
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post 1576901581 03-29-2019, 08:23 AM
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#125
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Economic.

(From an evolutionary perspective, however, marriage is a possible anomaly.)
post 1576902301 03-29-2019, 08:34 AM
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#126
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Originally Posted By chivasregal⏩
I’m going through a divorce. No kids, no property. Pretty simple. Dated for 6 years before getting married. Only married 1.5 years. Here’s what I learned from the short time:

-always respect her, love her, care for her, but don’t be afraid to show her you also love yourself and that ultimately you are the prize. You don’t need to say it, just don’t let her run (and/or her family) you over.

- there will be arguments of course. You both need to get better at fixing those or talking things out like adults.

-don’t marry someone who doesn’t have a job/doesn’t have a promising future. Love and sex might make you oversee this, but don’t do it cause it’ll bite you in the ass.

-look at her family. That’s who you’re marrying too. Look at the mom...your wife will probably look like that in the future.

-violence is never the answer (this is the reason for my divorce. Violence on her part). Always try to work things out, but once it happens repeatedly, leave.

-if during your relationship/engaged time, you’re still wanting to bang other girls, screw around or you can’t seem to stop thinking of other girls, don’t get married!

I know i haven’t been single in years. But looking at other couples/marriages from the outside, I see that a lot of dudes seem miserable and settle because they don’t want to be alone. I’m gonna embrace my single life for some time.
The violence had to have happened prior to getting married, right? Let me guess:bipolar or borderline?
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post 1576902441 03-29-2019, 08:36 AM
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Originally Posted By Aristotelian⏩
Except that, per my previous post in this thread, women have always wanted to divorce more than men. Yet in heterosexual LTRs that gender disparity doesn't hold. So it isn't as simple as men "reacting to divorce better".
According to a study published in the American Law and Economics Review, evidence is given that among college-educated couples, the percentage of divorces initiated by women is approximately 90%.

http://aler.oxfordjournals.org/content/2/1/126.abstract
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post 1576902521 03-29-2019, 08:37 AM
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I know a couple dudes who married way above their level, they were like 3s and their wives are 6s, that’s about the only scenario it makes sense.
God gives the hardest battles to his toughest soldiers
post 1576903341 03-29-2019, 08:53 AM
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#129
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Originally Posted By hotsaucebrah⏩
According to a study published in the American Law and Economics Review, evidence is given that among college-educated couples, the percentage of divorces initiated by women is approximately 90%.

http://aler.oxfordjournals.org/content/2/1/126.abstract
I linked a paper in this thread (and described it in detail) than is far more recent than the study you linked. But I fully agree that the fact that woman initiate the (vast) majority of divorces shows a problem with marriage itself. I wrote about this at length earlier in the thread but the fact is that since women havealwaysinitiated more divorces than men, something about marriage itself is the problem - and this was true way before the claims that women are instrumentalizing divorce for the reasons put forward in this thread.

The sad part about the research is that there is seemingly no true understanding as to why women have always, been more unhappy in marriages than their male counterparts. Yet, in heterosexual LTRs, the 'unhappiness' is equal - there is no gendered pattern in the breakups as there is in marriage.
post 1576904641 03-29-2019, 09:13 AM
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Originally Posted By Aristotelian⏩
I linked a paper in this thread (and described it in detail) than is far more recent than the study you linked. But I fully agree that the fact that woman initiate the (vast) majority of divorces shows a problem with marriage itself. I wrote about this at length earlier in the thread but the fact is that since women havealwaysinitiated more divorces than men, something about marriage itself is the problem - and this was true way before the claims that women are instrumentalizing divorce for the reasons put forward in this thread.

The sad part about the research is that there is seemingly no true understanding as to why women have always, been more unhappy in marriages than their male counterparts. Yet, in heterosexual LTRs, the 'unhappiness' is equal - there is no gendered pattern in the breakups as there is in marriage.
I had a long reply typed out and the server timed out when I tried to post it and I lost it. so I will cliff it by saying,

women are more "unhappy" in marriage because of expectations they build up over their entire lives through what they are told as children all the way through the movies and tv shows they watch. they are told things like, "never settle you're worth it." but never told why they're supposedly worth it or asked to prove their worth. they expect prince charming to come wisk them away and live happily ever after. they think marriage will change... well anything. when the reality is nothing changes except they get to say that they are married and if they want to leave they have to get lawyers and go to court.
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post 1576904661 03-29-2019, 09:13 AM
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#131
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Originally Posted By Aristotelian⏩
The sad part about the research is that there is seemingly no true understanding as to why women have always, been more unhappy in marriages than their male counterparts. Yet, in heterosexual LTRs, the 'unhappiness' is equal - there is no gendered pattern in the breakups as there is in marriage.
i can tell you why family. kept women have an alternate perception of "happy". they dont read about hedonism vs well being/eudaimonia. they dont care chit aboutobjet petit anor thank their lucky stars they got a bed to sleep on at all. generally speaking, beautiful women are opportunists. ask em where they see theyself in 5 years. "i don't think that way"

they are platitudinous without knowing it. life laugh love. everyone deserves to be happy! and these platitudes guide their actions.

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post 1576918291 03-29-2019, 12:40 PM
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#132
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Originally Posted By ssilv⏩
good advice here. will rep on spread.

sorry to hear about your divorce. what changed after dating for 6 years? did marriage get to her head?
Everything was cool at the beginning of the marriage. Her mom had a lot to do with it, trying to live her life through my wife. Convincing her of things, making her do things a certain way. This was my wife’s first time moving out of her house. I lived alone in my college years and a bit after. She began being very picky about everything. She has this inability to control her emotions and she would shut down when it came time to fix issues. I feel like I gave her the entire world, loved her, cared for her. I never cheated on her, i was always honest with her and helped her with school. I’m not perfect at all obviously, but i won’t put up with violence.

See thread for more:https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showt...hp?t=176701381

My biggest regrets are:

-Not knowing for a fact that she would take so long to finish school, in addition she changed her major to liberal arts. I was the main breadwinner. She did fail some classes, which was frustrating for me personally but I tried My best to raise her spirits.

-i wish i would’ve known more of how the mom manipulated her.

I loved this girl and our relationship was pretty cool and it hurts but this is for the best.
Originally Posted By hotsaucebrah⏩
The violence had to have happened prior to getting married, right? Let me guess:bipolar or borderline?
Never happened. If it had, I would’ve dumped her on the spot even if it was the day before the wedding. See thread link above.
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