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Forum » What are some dating red flags that are true all the time sometimes?
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Thread: What are some dating red flags that are true all the time sometimes?

post 1580161011 05-15-2019, 09:53 AM
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Originally Posted By RedRusty⏩
When a Daddy loves a Mommy but brings home three other sloots in a week......
That’s a lie, it wasn’t 3!!































It was 350
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post 1580161241 05-15-2019, 09:56 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Love bombing

Extremely charming and charismatic

Moving very fast at the start

Needs to be the center of attention at all times

Needy for constant stimulation at all times

Needs constant admiration and validation

Depressed when no attention or stimulation

Sense of superiority or grandiosity

Believes others are jealous

Lying

Gaslighting

Triangulation

Lack of empathy

Lack of remorse
You were married to a narcissist. We get it.
post 1580161471 05-15-2019, 10:00 AM
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88⏩
This list contains more legit red flags than OP's.

Shows empathy for strangers/animals but none for those closest to her.

Cannot apologize or take fault for her mistakes.

Entitled.
^Great additions


Wild how you can tell a lot about people with these subtle red flags that are commonly overlooked
post 1580161661 05-15-2019, 10:02 AM
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post 1580162021 05-15-2019, 10:08 AM
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Originally Posted By redraider86⏩
Aha. You must be unaware.I think many of us would be surprised how very often people use statements like "I'm not going to _____" unprovoked. In their fuked up minds they actually view this as kindness. I've seen people do this professionally as well. So while it is good advice for staying safe around Darth Vader Boyfriends/Girlfriends and other Psychos, it's just good sense to keep in mind.



It's when someone outside the conflict or relationship intervenes in an attempt to ease tension and facilitate communication. It's closely related to the Karpman drama triangle. You should read up on it, it's quite fascinating.

Example:http://angry-alcoholics.blogspot.com...late-love.html
Ahh I get it. Playing ppl against each other, cheating to make someone jealous, etc. Yes. This is a huge red flag. Anyone who does this should be called on it immediately.

"3. child A is having an issue with the mother. Instead of dealing with the issues and trying to work them out with child A, she instead runs to child B, telling child A that she loves child B so much more than she loves child A. Also in these cases, child A tends to be abandoned; while the mother spends most of her time with child B. This is called "child neglect". Alternatively, children can be triangulated with lies and false stories about each other, so that it keeps the children fighting for the parent's love."

Wow...that was the story of my life with me and my brother.
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
When you subtly mention or involve a third person to make your partner feel like they need to compete. In a subtle way to slightly unsettle them and keep them on their toes.

The problem with these type of people is that they are masters of manipulation and do things in subtle ways to keep you unsettled while you have no idea what’s happening.

It’s very sinister because it’s INTENTIONAL.
Yep. Ppl who do that are a special kind of chit. I had some online friends who do that. Play ppl against each other, generally very low empathy narcissistic, manipulative. I have avoided them for a while and I am better for it. I don't think they are even aware they do it tbh.
post 1580163751 05-15-2019, 10:30 AM
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^in general, I always assume that if you have to bring a third person up to make me feel like I need to compete it's because you feel insecure.

The underlying insecurity makes people do some very strange things, that being one of them.

Some seemingly narcissistic traits actually do stem from feelings of inadequacy.
post 1580164311 05-15-2019, 10:36 AM
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Compiled list of the ones I agree with so far (*** are ultra red flags):

- ******Mean/ rude to servers/ bartenders************
- Has a lot of luxury items
- Owns a small dog and refers to self as "mommy"
- Is overweight
- Does not wear makeup
- Talks down to parents. Specifically their dad
- Updates her instagram/********/ or snap story daily
- Doing drugs

This guy is legit Dr Phil...

- Does not tell you when something is bothering them, and expects you to "just know" and resolve it without telling you why it bothered them.
- Does not have a career/job
- ***Cannot independantly support themselves, expects you to be the one to do it
- Goes out drinking whenever they can
- ***Does not have any hobbies or interests that are not food/travel related
- Does not know how to compromise
- Has cheated on somebody before you
- ***Shows no interest in self-growth
- ***Has no ambition

- Gossips about her other friends to her friends
- Social media is filled with selfies or selfies with a snapchat filter
- ***Brings up how chitty their exes were right away
- gets upset about pictures/posts you like
- ***terrible with finances and money (broke but has that $1000 iPhone)
- tatts (EDIT:EXCESSIVE TATS)
- Needy for constant stimulation at all times
- Needs constant admiration and validation


I think "the mean/rude to bartenders/servers" is the best one on the list. People that take advantage/treat poorly of loved ones or people they think are beneath/subservient to them says countless things about their personal character. IMO... this can be as subtle as someone looking right through a server/bartender and not acknowledging them as a person.
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post 1580164801 05-15-2019, 10:42 AM
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Originally Posted By aleeboy⏩
From my experiences:

- Is older than 30 and not married
- Is divorced
- Career woman
- Has a lot of luxury items
- Travels a lot
- Owns a small dog and refers to self as "mommy"
- Is overweight
- Has permed hair
- Has a Mac Book, but uses iPad
- Hangs out with guys alot
-Dresses girly
- Does not wear makeup
- VO2 Max < 45
You prefer your dates dress like bull dykes OP?
post 1580165121 05-15-2019, 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted By TypeNirvash⏩
A few things that go both ways:

-Does not tell you when something is bothering them, and expects you to "just know" and resolve it without telling you why it bothered them.

-Does not have a career/job

-Cannot independantly support themselves, expects you to be the one to do it

-Goes out drinking whenever they can

-Does not have any hobbies or interests that are not food/travel related

-Does not know how to compromise

-Has cheated on somebody before you

-Shows no interest in self-growth

-Has no ambition

These are just a few small ones that show the subtle emotional immaturity before it becomes readily apparent.
This is like 90% of 18-34 year olds today
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post 1580166531 05-15-2019, 11:00 AM
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has nothing nice to say, i.e. is always complaining about something/someone


don't even bother
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post 1580166581 05-15-2019, 11:01 AM
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Off the top of my head..

1. Argumentative Tone- sure this has been mentioned but I'm really talking about the manner in which she talks to you. Maybe with resentment or suppressed anger. Pay attention to tone.

2. Refers to herself as "Princess" or similar term.

And lastly the Red Flag you are MOST likely to ignore or think somehow doesn't apply to your relationship with her...

3. Literally tells you she is crazy/mean/dates a lot of guys/etc. A lot of times people will tell you things directly which kinda throws you off, so you dismiss it.
post 1580167881 05-15-2019, 11:17 AM
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Originally Posted By 78novacaine⏩
Wait wot? So you want her to only rock raggedy blue jeans, flannel shirt and boots or chuck taylors, but as long as she wears makeup that's ok? Lol
Sweat pants and war paint. Hnnnngggg.
post 1580168091 05-15-2019, 11:19 AM
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Originally Posted By faxanadu⏩
Compiled list of the ones I agree with so far (*** are ultra red flags):

- ******Mean/ rude to servers/ bartenders************
- Has a lot of luxury items
- Owns a small dog and refers to self as "mommy"
- Is overweight
- Does not wear makeup
- Talks down to parents. Specifically their dad
- Updates her instagram/********/ or snap story daily
- Doing drugs

This guy is legit Dr Phil...

- Does not tell you when something is bothering them, and expects you to "just know" and resolve it without telling you why it bothered them.
- Does not have a career/job
- ***Cannot independantly support themselves, expects you to be the one to do it
- Goes out drinking whenever they can
- ***Does not have any hobbies or interests that are not food/travel related
- Does not know how to compromise
- Has cheated on somebody before you
- ***Shows no interest in self-growth
- ***Has no ambition

- Gossips about her other friends to her friends
- Social media is filled with selfies or selfies with a snapchat filter
- ***Brings up how chitty their exes were right away
- gets upset about pictures/posts you like
- ***terrible with finances and money (broke but has that $1000 iPhone)
- tatts (EDIT:EXCESSIVE TATS)
- Needy for constant stimulation at all times
- Needs constant admiration and validation


I think "the mean/rude to bartenders/servers" is the best one on the list. People that take advantage/treat poorly of loved ones or people they think are beneath/subservient to them says countless things about their personal character. IMO... this can be as subtle as someone looking right through a server/bartender and not acknowledging them as a person.
Yeah you definitely donotwant to be with anybody who is brazen enough to treat waitstaff with disrespect.

I do however, disagree with the no makeup thing though.

Thanks for the kind words btw
Originally Posted By TaeBoNinja⏩
This is like 90% of 18-34 year olds today
That's a high estimate, but that's fine.

Now that you know what to look for, you can begin making more informed choices.

Sometimes people meet at the wrong time when they just aren't ready for a relationship, and even though they are otherwise a decent person, they just aren't emotionally mature enough to make it work.

Tbh we shouldn't be settling for somebody just because they gave us attention/affection. If they're not self-actualized, the process of building a relationship can become significantly more laborous.
post 1580169221 05-15-2019, 11:36 AM
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1 more

If the broad's mom bosses her father around, then the broad will probably mimic her mother with you while married.
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post 1580169391 05-15-2019, 11:39 AM
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Originally Posted By TypeNirvash⏩
Yeah you definitely donotwant to be with anybody who is brazen enough to treat waitstaff with disrespect.

I do however, disagree with the no makeup thing though.

Thanks for the kind words btw
No makeup to me = body hair, bad hygiene, too much zero fks given to the point of alienation

All the women/men i met hiking/backpacking that were like that had some kind of issue. A common thing i saw was people that didn't try to be the least bit presentable attempting to get a little help from strangers ... only to get turned away. Often those shleppy looking people would then get angry when just brushing their hair a little bit would of went a long ways. Fuk... even animals groom themselves.

Cliffs: I associate no makeup with antisocial/antisociety behavior
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post 1580169541 05-15-2019, 11:41 AM
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Originally Posted By aleeboy⏩
From my experiences:


- Has a Mac Book, but uses iPad
Please explain OP.
post 1580169711 05-15-2019, 11:44 AM
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post 1580169781 05-15-2019, 11:45 AM
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Originally Posted By devin45k⏩
1 more

If the broad's mom bosses her father around, then the broad will probably mimic her mother with you while married.
This is very true. Such females have toxic mothers who look down on their husbands... the apple doesn't fall far from the tree
Originally Posted By faxanadu⏩
No makeup to me = body hair, bad hygiene, too much zero fks given to the point of alienation

All the women/men i met hiking/backpacking that were like that had some kind of issue. A common thing i saw was people that didn't try to be the least bit presentable attempting to get a little help from strangers ... only to get turned away. Often those shleppy looking people would then get angry when just brushing their hair a little bit would of went a long ways. Fuk... even animals groom themselves.

Cliffs: I associate no makeup with antisocial/antisociety behavior
Nailed it, breh
Originally Posted By ESlong⏩
Please explain OP.
Spends lots of money to be a cool-kid, but doesn't actually need it. Why buy a computer when all you need is social media and youtube?

Such girls also leave a large carbon footprint. They don't manage waste and recycling well and churn through lots of quick fashion clothes/ skin care and make up. They are remarkably wasteful.
"The manlet is a savage beast that knows no moral bound. After falling in disgrace to a manmore, a ravaged manlet would not hesitate to come from behind and land a sucker punch/ swing with a rock to the back of a manmore's head. They are ruthless and you need to spend some more time in the gutter to even begin trying to comprehend what goes on in their minds."

Hurt by the aleeboy and need to cope? Go here for hugs: https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178724011
post 1580170041 05-15-2019, 11:48 AM
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Debt outside of a mortgage, student loads and a moderate car.

Parents divorced.

Sloot friends

Majority of their friends have divorced parents or debt or have other red flag tendencies.
You're either trolling or you're terrible.

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post 1580170121 05-15-2019, 11:48 AM
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Originally Posted By faxanadu⏩
No makeup to me = body hair, bad hygiene, too much zero fks given to the point of alienation

All the women/men i met hiking/backpacking that were like that had some kind of issue. A common thing i saw was people that didn't try to be the least bit presentable attempting to get a little help from strangers ... only to get turned away. Often those shleppy looking people would then get angry when just brushing their hair a little bit would of went a long ways. Fuk... even animals groom themselves.

Cliffs: I associate no makeup with antisocial/antisociety behavior
I can see that, I think there's certainly a point to be had here.

I actually don't mind the sort of laissez faire attitude to make-up. It's if the laissez faire attitude extends to other aspects of life that it becomes telling IMO.

Usually getting my SO up and out of the house requires us to account for time spent doing makeup. Generally, I am a big fan of the odd occassional shlup day because of this. I would probably be happy to have more of these, because I personally have a sort of "low-effort" vibe to my style.
post 1580170231 05-15-2019, 11:49 AM
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When they always have to find some way to tell you they're a good person. It's almost as if they're trying convince themselves.

Brb taking notes. Good thread.
post 1580170411 05-15-2019, 11:53 AM
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Originally Posted By BG5150⏩
So, then logically, under 30 only.


What's wrong with a woman with a job? She can pay her own cell phone bill.


If a girl is good looking w/out makeup all teh better! I've found that chicks who wear a lot of makeup look like 5 miles of bad road without it.
Someone beat me to it. Under 30 women may as well RIP lmao
post 1580170641 05-15-2019, 11:56 AM
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Originally Posted By Griggz⏩
Someone beat me to it. Under 30 women may as well RIP lmao
You mean above 30?

You noticing more social media indulgence, more discretionary spending and a higher level of dogmoms? It's happening across all age groups, but hitting the females hard around 30. Cats, or more small dogs, start appearing around mid to late 30's
"The manlet is a savage beast that knows no moral bound. After falling in disgrace to a manmore, a ravaged manlet would not hesitate to come from behind and land a sucker punch/ swing with a rock to the back of a manmore's head. They are ruthless and you need to spend some more time in the gutter to even begin trying to comprehend what goes on in their minds."

Hurt by the aleeboy and need to cope? Go here for hugs: https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178724011
post 1580170651 05-15-2019, 11:56 AM
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post 1580170671 05-15-2019, 11:57 AM
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Originally Posted By Griggz⏩
Someone beat me to it. Under 30 women may as well RIP lmao
In general, most people do not begin to emotionally mature until later stages of life these days.

It's easier than ever to only surround yourself with people who think exactly the same way as you, and therefore never have to have your viewpoint challenged.

Social and emotional maturation have begun to slow as a result of this, and so, as a result, people tend to begin to self-actualize much later in life. Hell, some people over 30 tend to compensate for their lack of emotional maturity by doing some of the things posted in the list that was quoted.

There are those that are, actually, able to accomplish this earlier than 30. Some people never accomplish this. Finding them is a matter of understanding signs of emotional maturity though.

They're a much smaller portion of the population though.
post 1580170851 05-15-2019, 11:59 AM
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Originally Posted By TypeNirvash⏩
I can see that, I think there's certainly a point to be had here.

I actually don't mind the sort of laissez faire attitude to make-up. It's if the laissez faire attitude extends to other aspects of life that it becomes telling IMO.

Usually getting my SO up and out of the house requires us to account for time spent doing makeup. Generally, I am a big fan of the odd occassional shlup day because of this. I would probably be happy to have more of these, because I personally have a sort of "low-effort" vibe to my style.
You can still look low-effort and wear make up.

I do believe no makeup, for normal/ average looking girls, speaks volumes about their stance against people and society. I don't trust people when they say their girls look ok. Only 5% of girls look ok without makeup in my experience. And I don't think there are many guys on here who are pulling stunners
"The manlet is a savage beast that knows no moral bound. After falling in disgrace to a manmore, a ravaged manlet would not hesitate to come from behind and land a sucker punch/ swing with a rock to the back of a manmore's head. They are ruthless and you need to spend some more time in the gutter to even begin trying to comprehend what goes on in their minds."

Hurt by the aleeboy and need to cope? Go here for hugs: https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=178724011
post 1580170891 05-15-2019, 12:00 PM
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post 1580171811 05-15-2019, 12:12 PM
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Has "guy friends"

Thinks she's an influencer (social media celeb)

Divorced Parents or doesn't get along with her Mom.

Dresses slooty

Drinks, do drugs, smokes

Has had more than 1 sex partner

Kissed or Had a phase she liked women

Doesn't want to learn how to drive

Lie to you or parents

Not a Christian.
post 1580171861 05-15-2019, 12:13 PM
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Originally Posted By aleeboy⏩
You can still look low-effort and wear make up.

I do believe no makeup, for normal/ average looking girls, speaks volumes about their stance against people and society. I don't trust people when they say their girls look ok. Only 5% of girls look ok without makeup in my experience. And I don't think there are many guys on here who are pulling stunners
Personally, the point difference between my SO wearing makeup, and her not wearing makeup is the difference between revealing blemishes and slight imperfections to her skin. It's a small ~.5-1.0 increase on the scale. Small enough that I'm down to forgo it just to get out of the house sooner.

That being said, I do prefer the "no makeup/natural makeup" sort of look that is becoming more popular.

However, I generally don't agree that it is abig red flag, and I would classify it as ayellow flag.
post 1580176391 05-15-2019, 01:25 PM
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#90
  1. trufflepigg
  2. Registered User
  1. trufflepigg
  2. Registered User
  3. Join Date: Jul 2012
  4. Posts: 2,548
  5. Rep Power: 5536
i just ghosted a woman who was truly awful, here are her traits:

-Single Mom
-Herpes
-Zero hobbies except smoking pot
-Spends all her free time napping, or watching Hulu/Netflix
-Huge back tattoo
-Says she is "guarded"
-Never once said a single compliment to me, or made a move on me, but sexted me all day, **** was annoying tbh
-Instead of asking to hang out she would text and say "bring me a coffee" or "wanna make me breakfast"...such a hoe
-Says she has sarcastic sense of humor, but really she's just a mean bitch. Sarcasm only works when it's funny. She wasn't funny.
-only 1 female friend, and guess what, she's exactly the same type of bitch
-Tells you about all her past sexual escapades like you want to hear about it on a 1st date

fyi she was kinda hot
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