or you could be a serial killer rapist. you know, since she doesn’t know you.

did you ask for her number?

approach 1 of 9999 COMPLETED!

So first thing first before I go into this I want to say how absolutely floored I am by the response from this thread. Honestly I wasnt expecting much other than a bunch of negative saps complaining about how everything changed in 2012.

The enthusiasm I see from you guys is amazing and telling that a lot of us want to be more social in everyday situations. We focus so much on looksmaxing with fitness, why can’t we charismamax? Why can’t we become social machines at the same time making ourselves the complete package?

So I initially planned on starting this next week fresh and new but waking up to 4 pages of posts and a text from a bud about me getting into cold approach was enough for me to be like fck it.. LETS START TODAY.

so on my way to work I stop at a nearby dollar store. Only expecting to maybe say something to the cashier as I head out. Maybe there would be some mom or something in an isle I could chat up. Wasn’t expecting much but I was going to say something to someone goddamnit.

So I make my way down an isle. Again no expectations at all just getting what I want and leaving I’m going from isle to isle shopping but also looking for anyone to chat to.
I see a couple of people a lady on her phone, old woman with store employee, not what I was hoping for. I stand in an isle and this older guy walks by and stands right next to me. Looking for an item..
I’m almost late for work so I’m like fck it this will have to do. Without even thinking about it twice I grab an item off the the shelf and ask him if he ever tried em and..

He responds postively! I was all but ready to look like a complete idiot with him saying “huh?”, Me repeating myself, and him brushing me off.

But no he responds saying he hadn’t tried that particular flavor but had tried the original. I reply by saying I have had the original and it’s actually pretty good.

COLD APPROACH SUCCESS

While not ideal, a bit lack luster and short, the feeling of just doing what I sought out to do felt amazing! I immediately felt more confident after the interaction! It was strange like I had made a temporary shopping buddy in that moment. With our shared interest in snack foods.
You could tell he was actually happy I had said something. You could visually see this guy kinda perk up in posture afterwards. I had just did exactly what I had written down the night before I had knocked him out of the daze of his routine and made him present to the moment. A bit excited having talked to a stranger .

Again not exactly a hot chick and not exactly the best convo but this is just 1 of 9999 after all. Baby steps brahs baby steps.



That one interaction took my confidence through the roof. Going from a guy who had severe social anxiety just 2 years ago, to being able to casually talk about nothing with a stranger, it’s just a sign I’m on the right track.

I wish the best for everyone TAKING ACTION at this and don’t be picky! Go get em!

That’s what I’m fckn talking about brah! What went wrong? Anything you noticed that you could’ve improved on?

How do you be flirting without being creepy? I always was accused of being creepy and never knew how to change. I've almost had a warrant for my arrest at my old university and dont wanna go through jail again.

Not true at all. of course it helps to be in a good mood but the act of talking to others can put you in a good mood. I’d say the ideal state is neutral before you try and approach but you can approach in a bad mood why not? People do a lot of chit in a bad mood like going to work. And guess what.. usually by the end of the day they’re smiling and laughing. You are not your feelings.

I know exactly what you mean and I know exactly what you’re thinking.. you’re expecting a positive outcome.. the key is too EXPECT NOTHING HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS. It’s tough to put yourself in that mindset but through meditation I’ve found that most of my personal anxiety comes from having expectations. And I have expectations because I think I need something from someone... so what I had to realize is that I have everything I want right now I don’t need anything from anyone not even a positive response to a “Hi”. Or a negative response for that matter.

Try and put yourself in that mindset. Once you put yourself out there it’s now on them to reciprocate. You can’t control the outcome so don’t sweat it!

Start small bro strike up a conversation with an old lady! You’re approaching this as if you want something from that female. You have to approach it like she’s, cute lets share THIS small moment together. Don’t be thinking about where you’re going to take her out to eat once you get the number. NO EXPECTATIONS.


Edit:

It’s fcking weird how the universe works. Just as I finished typing this I see Jordan Peterson’s last post on his insta and it fits your exact mindset and how most guys approach this...

Basically he’s saying when you see a hot woman. You don’t see the individual person you the IDEAL she represents.

She represents everything you think you have to be to get a woman like that... her beauty brings up every supposed flaw the world has told you you have. You don’t make enough, work enough, buy enough to have this woman..

You have to get rid of that and know that YOU ARE ENOUGH RIGHT NOW

That beautiful woman probably had food poisoning last night. That beautiful is probably in debt and has bad spending habits. That woman probably cried herself to sleep because of the rocky relationship she has with her mother. That woman probably has approach anxiety / depression and just wishes anyone will talk to her in public..

Get over what you can take from the situation. You want her to make you feel like a chad, you want her to fawn over you so you can impress all your friends and family. You want her to make you feel like someone of value... ALL OF THAT IS YOUR JOB AND YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF FEEL THAT WAY RIGHT NOW

Sorry for the caps but that’s like the key to everything. Knowing you are enough. You are whole. You need nothing from this world but have everything to share. Sounds woowoo and cheesy but it’s true

Ayyy kunts , at the mall now already talked to one sloot just to get her number.... started typing this right after I got her number but I guess I never submitted. We played glow in the dark mini golf, had drinks, ate her kunt like the last supper and smashed. Repping all you *******s who do this

But... I've been told that I've got to self-improve, brah. I need to work on myself or else I deserve to be an incel forever. Amirite guys?

FWIW - I agree with you and JBP like 95% here. The intent of the "self improve" chit is to get someone off the computer and doing something productive with their lives, but theundertoneof that message is "you are not good enough", "people do not like you for who you are", "no one will want you unless you do superficial chit like lift or play an instrument." Fuk that.

take a seat ladies..

don't be ugly

Srs


And I'm sure most of you guys have no physical deformity so you're not. But a lot of guys on here dress ugly

im all for it. Gonna try to actively do this more. I just rarely get the chance with how my life is set up right now

bruhhhhh. I think you got the wrong idea, lol.

gonna approach the girl that plays at our uni's volleyball team and that computer science girl. will update on Wednesday I'll ninja some pics too.

In.what if im short? can i cold approach with success or was my tour already over before it even began?

if you shorter than 5'6 tours over. If you are shorter than that, only approach short girls. There's still.millions of them so your luck hasn't run out.

The 'trick' if there is one is to make each opportunity not such a big deal. As I get older I meet lots of people who have problems with public speaking - and I think public speaking, approaching, striking up random conversations with people, are all related.

And the trick is that the moment you start talking to someone isn't that big a deal - it isn't a 'perfect opportunity' and you don't have to build so much into it.

I tested this on someone at my gym recently - she was in the stretching area doing a workout. She's the kind of girl that wears very tight tights and does goblet squats with each foot elevated on a platform so her ass dips below parallel.

I was stretching there and saw that she was using a Pamela Reif workout, so before I started my workout and when I saw she was on a pause I said 'hey, those workouts are harder than they look, right?' and she said 'yeah, I always do the 20 minute full body one'. I said 'yeah my wife does too and I always thought it'd be a pretty easy routine to add to my rest days but it isn't. I don't mean to interrupt - have a great workout'. So she waved at me, and does now when she comes to the gym, and I wave at her. And, to be honest, a few of the guys in the weights area seeing this who know me were like 'wtf are you doing?' but, yeah.

Again, it doesn't have to be a big deal. If you practice public speaking, random conversations with people (even in the grocery checkout line)...you'll see that there are plenty of people who have your sense of humor and who don't mind striking up random banter with people instead of 'creepily' avoiding eye contact with everyone around them and/or staring at the floor or at their cell phone the entire time.

Yes, working on yourself should be a big part of your life, but that's not unique to you because you suck or something.. This goes for EVERYONE.

"I am enough" is an affirmation in my mind, that gives me permission to go after what I want. "I am enough" does not mean I can just be the worst version of myself, being lazy, procrastinating, eating junk and wasting my life and then go out and expect to get hot women. Doesn't work like that.

If you want to be a sh!t version of yourself and just get pussy handed to you on a silver platter, then fuk you lol.

You gotta work on becoming a better version of yourself every day. And that's not to please other people, it's for YOU. Improve yourself for you, so that you can enjoy life on another level. If your life isn't worth improving to you, if you've decided that you're not worth improving, do you think girls (especially hot ones) want to be a part of that? Fuk no

As long as you're on the path to bettering yourself, you're doing GREAT, you ARE enough, and you should go after what you want, and approach life with confidence.

As long as you are on the path towards a better you, you ARE enough.

Das it boyo! Great job.No, he doesn't. This is about becoming comfortable talking to strangers out in public, so it can be same sex. Just getting out there and talking to people. Getting comfortable with that so that when you do see that someone you think you'd want to go out with, you don't freeze up in fear.This is all very true. I for one am terrified of public speaking. Thankfully I don't need it for my job, but it's definitely something that would be nice to not be so afraid of. I think my company has a Toast Masters and I've thought about joining it just to get over that fear.

In.

I have been talking to a couple of people especially ones that work around the local clubs. You honestly do build up the confidence of approaching people and striking a general conversation. If they do find you interesting, most do when you're a genuine bloke or gal - they'll give you a primary form of contact where you can just pretty much use it to further your social skills. It doesn't always work-out but the point of the matter is , that you still tried and you're going to keep doing it because it's a betterment of your general social skills. Truth be told, I do get quite shy when it comes to approaching girls but it's something I'm pretty much working on in my life now because at any given moment, this life can just end so why not take the chance, meet new people and just have fun cause that's literally what it's all about.

You'll build up on that confidence; just need to get in the flow and your general aura of approach will be more towards acceptable then creepy.

This is actually some great life advice. Reps on RC.

I'm all for cold approaching but I'm cringing at the OP.

Let's drop the self improvement nonsense and stick to the raw hard facts.
Men should be tracking how many approaches they do and how many lead to sex. That's all that matters. 'Having no expectations' or whatever else is irrelevant, you either approach the girl or not, have sex with her or not.

There's too much mental masturbation alongside cold approaching.

This. LOL. His first cold approach and it was an old man. LMAO

Why don't you STFU?! Why even post in this thread if you're just going to be an a** hole?

Pay no mind to the mentally ill 2019 join dates. Most of them are multi accounts of ******* miscers that want to talk chit with no repercussions, loser mod alts, or banned *******s.

Truth hurts

yeah I can't cosign approaching some random dude and give you props for that. Until you approach a female, and make it known what your intentions are (e.g asking for a number or just simply doing some lighthearted flirting) it's not really even worth mentioning. No hate of course. But c'mon.

Next time.

Also lol @ the 60 year old. He must be apart of the cold approach crew.