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Plastic/Reconstructive =/= Cosmetic Surgery....

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~ In a world where you can be anything, be kind ~

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OP, try to relax and breathe. Worrying nonstop and jumping to every possible conclusion in your mind isn't going to make either of you feel better about the situation. Skin cancer is one of the most common kinds if I'm not mistaken and most people don't die from it. Just don't let him ignore it because it obviously won't just go away without some kind of treatment. He'll be fine

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2/17/15 - Dunk Tank Results: 15% bf (Omron said 18.6%) - 123.4 lbs LBM

Update: found out some more information
1. It’s basal cell carcinoma
2. He’s already done the first stage of treatment:
Curettage and electrodessication (C and E). C and E treatment involves removing the surface of the skin cancer with a scraping instrument (curet) and then searing the base of the cancer with an electric needle. They sent what they scrapped off in for testing, he played it off as nothing
3.now today he’s super morbid

Originally Posted By MuzzieChik786⏩

Damn, so sorry.

He should probably give up his job if he's handling chemicals, and you guys should look into whether that contributed to the cancer in the first place. Sue the hell out of 'em if it was.

Encourage him to take the proper amount of time off. Health is more important than any job or $$. Hang in there!

Working in the legal field it would be very hard to prove. And he’s in a great union, that gives him really good retirement (if full recovery) which would be more than a chance at a settlement and right now it provides health insurance for him and the boys. He’s sworn in for a several more years so it’s a rough situation and the ex wife has him paying for everything (she doesn’t work). He’s pretty religious so I am hoping going to church more often will help













Thank you everyone, this looks like it’s going to be a rough journey, today he’s depressed and morbid saying that if we were to start a family he couldn’t because he wouldn’t want a kid to grow up with out a dad.I just need to help him destress at this point lots of trips to the hot springs and making sure the house is kept up and no extra work for him and healthy diet. Last night the hot tub and pools helped his mood a lot and he walked around the pool in the freeze cold (it’s heated and I held on to him cause it was cold, and put my feet on his :.( he said he doesn’t want me to ask about it or go to the doctors appointments besides being there on the day of the surgery, and I’ll be there all night of course. Ugh hold me misc, he’s my best friend. And I am the only one that knows what’s going on with him.

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Originally Posted By snailsrus⏩

Update: found out some more information
1. It’s basal cell carcinoma
2. He’s already done the first stage of treatment:
Curettage and electrodessication (C and E). C and E treatment involves removing the surface of the skin cancer with a scraping instrument (curet) and then searing the base of the cancer with an electric needle. They sent what they scrapped off in for testing, he played it off as nothing
3.now today he’s super morbid


Working in the legal field it would be very hard to prove. And he’s in a great union, that gives him really good retirement (if full recovery) which would be more than a chance at a settlement and right now it provides health insurance for him and the boys. He’s sworn in for a several more years so it’s a rough situation and the ex wife has him paying for everything (she doesn’t work).


Thank you everyone, this looks like it’s going to be a rough journey, today he’s depressed and morbid saying that if we were to start a family he couldn’t because he wouldn’t want a kid to grow up with out a dad.I just need to help him destress at this point lots of trips to the hot springs and making sure the house is kept up and no extra work for him and healthy diet. Last night the hot tub and pools helped his mood a lot and he walked around the pool in the freeze cold (it’s heated and I held on to him cause it was cold, and put my feet on his :.( he said he doesn’t want me to ask about it or go to the doctors appointments besides being there on the day of the surgery, and I’ll be there all night of course. Ugh hold me misc, he’s my best friend. And I am the only one that knows what’s going on with him.

Basal cell carcinoma is one of the most treatable types of cancer, seriously that's good news. I'm sure it's scary, but as a melanoma survivor, I'd take basal cell carcinoma any day over melanoma. Him not wanting you to ask about it and not wanting you to go to the doctor with him while simultaneously making...let's say dramatic statements seems a little odd to me. I'm not saying it's not a big deal of course, it's still a health issue that should be taken seriously. I would be at every single appointment based on what you've said throughout this thread, but that's me.

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Originally Posted By snailsrus⏩

Even at a more advanced stage it’s very treatable? Really that makes me feel better google was freaking me out, I have my own srs health condition and was worried like we share burdens, I know I’ll need to step up for a while and I can but it’s like there’s only so much I can do to help with his kids. You’re story is amazing and comforting, I can’t imagine how scared you must have been

Honestly, I think that's why you should go with him to his follow-up appointments. Doctors and especially nurses will level with you and tell you what's up, plus you're in a partnership, in sickness and in health, not just what he gets to decide. The internet is the wild west of scary half-truths and who knows what his situation actually is? Truthfully the worst part wasn't scary at all, it was reassuring everyone that it was going to be fine, which is maybe why I'm struggling with your husband's reaction, but his reaction isn't mine!I was downright annoyed with everyone asking me how I was feeling, what the prognosis was, how I felt about stuff, blah blah blah, just exhausting and I wanted to get back to my life. I betcha he's going to be just fine.

If he needs to go through any chemo though, uh, get him off the Taco Bell. Or have a good plumber on speed dial, LOL.

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Originally Posted By redraider86⏩

Honestly, I think that's why you should go with him to his follow-up appointments. Doctors and especially nurses will level with you and tell you what's up, plus you're in a partnership, in sickness and in health, not just what he gets to decide. The internet is the wild west of scary half-truths and who knows what his situation actually is? Truthfully the worst part wasn't scary at all, it was reassuring everyone that it was going to be fine, which is maybe why I'm struggling with your husband's reaction, but his reaction isn't mine!I was downright annoyed with everyone asking me how I was feeling, what the prognosis was, how I felt about stuff, blah blah blah, just exhausting and I wanted to get back to my life. I betcha he's going to be just fine.

If he needs to go through any chemo though, uh, get him off the Taco Bell. Or have a good plumber on speed dial, LOL.

He wants to just keep going and not tell anyone and act like everything is fine. How bad is chemo now? I heard they can localize it now so you don’t lose your hair and get so sick. He’s already tired all the time. And ya he needs to get off the taco bell anyways with his little budda belly. His reaction was so intense he sat in his car for like an hour Bert staring, then angry then super lovey now morbid and bleak

Originally Posted By TBO1313⏩

My mother's dad had to get a couple cut off of his face and they were malignant. It never bothered him much and wasn't a big deal. My step dad had some cut off of the top of his ears and now he just uses sun screen like he should have in the first place.

I wouldn't freak out too much about it. I thought both of you were divorce attorneys. What type of chemicals does he work around and does the doctor think it might have been a contributing factor?

Edit: A liability case would hard to prove but in most states worker's compensation the burden of proof lies on the employer. If I were him I'd file a worker's comp claim immediately

I am a divorce atty, he is a thermal engineer, there’s really no case there and it could risk him losing his union benefits and pension, he’s predisposed to it before he had started the job and it’s more like the job makes worse a preexisting condition. And my friend that’s in medical mail practice and my mom who’s been an atty for 35 plus years don’t think there’s any case.

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