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Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker discussion thread (Spoilers)
12-21-2019, 09:55 PM
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#151
- BigTimeOperator
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this is the funniest smartass thing I ever watched. [spoilers]
12-21-2019, 09:56 PM
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#152
- leoslayer1
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U
12-21-2019, 10:06 PM
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#153
- conics
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Originally Posted By CaliSuperSport⏩
what reasons? how can any reason explain his fall to a nuclear pitBecause reasons.
MauLer & Co. have been trashing this film literally for 8 hours straight on Youtube, lmao
MauLer & Co. have been trashing this film literally for 8 hours straight on Youtube, lmao
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12-21-2019, 10:34 PM
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#154
Originally Posted By BigTimeOperator⏩
i loled. great video that summarizes how i/many feel with great sarcasmthis is the funniest smartass thing I ever watched. [spoilers]
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12-21-2019, 11:05 PM
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#155
Originally Posted By conics⏩
what reasons? how can any reason explain his fall to a nuclear pit
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12-21-2019, 11:55 PM
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#156
- nkiritsis13
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Any particularly entertaininghighlow-lights that I should know about to laugh at? No way in hell that I'm paying to support more Hollywood/Disney dreck, but I have only seen a barrage of nigh unanimous hatred for this new one. It's actually kind of beautiful, in a way.
I can't say I'm surprised; there was no way that JJ Abrams - a man whose entire career has been based around building up stories that he doesn't have the directorial nor mental capacity to fulfill in any satisfying degree - would be able to pay off to miraculously salvage this Female Force trash. To pull this off, he'd have to:
1) Tie together/tie up another one of his infamous "mystery box" overloads that he setup in New Hope 2: Electric Boogaloo.
2) Unf*ck Rian Johnson's Wendy's bathroom after a chili binge mess since Disney didn't have the balls to de-canonize TLJ.
3) Make an entire cast with the collective personality as an expired carton of milk somehow likeable enough to be remembered for anything other than the cinematic food poisoning they helped release upon the world.
4) Figure out how to cram three movies of character development retroactively into Rey.
5) Figure out how to kill off Rose off-screen, retroactively, and never mention her again.
6) Make Kyle and Ginger Hitler villains who are worth a damn. In fact, maybe pick a lane with Kyle - baddie? Good guy? Who the hell cares?
7) Explain the old guy missing half his face wearing some kind of Golden Girls, old lady robe and was killed off in TLJ. Why did they even bother? Why waste so much time? You have three damn movies, so what was the point of this guy if you're just going to wheel out Palpatineagain?
8) Make up for the rubbish fight scenes and in-character konami code:
YOU DIED.
9) Fix Luke Skywalker's entire decline as a character that effectively undoes the original trilogy.
10) Resurrect Carrie Fisher's corpsewithoutCGI puppetry. I'm talking legitimate black magic, here. Not for the movie, just to make up for TLJ.
11)Notwheel out yet another planet destroying super weapon that has to be destroyed by the third act or the base the plot on some Macguffin that must be stopped or the universe dies or some bullsh*t.
12)Notbring back even more bloody callbacks to the older movies knowing full well that these can't stand up alone through their own merits.
13) Make amovie, not an SJW soap box political statement aimed squarely at cyan-haired androgens.
So in other words, not a chance in hell.
The impression that the new trilogy's entire cast of villains gives me is the same sort of made up antagonists people like ANTIFA dream up in their heads thinking they're going off to fight against. It's what happens when weak willed, mental midget twats try to come up with a power fantasy.
As for Kylo (stupidest f*cking name, I swear), he's a whiny b*tch who should have kept the damn helmet on, and even his try-hard lightsaber is beyond stupid in practice - spoiler alert: that cross-guard is how you cut your own hands off.
I can't say I'm surprised; there was no way that JJ Abrams - a man whose entire career has been based around building up stories that he doesn't have the directorial nor mental capacity to fulfill in any satisfying degree - would be able to pay off to miraculously salvage this Female Force trash. To pull this off, he'd have to:
1) Tie together/tie up another one of his infamous "mystery box" overloads that he setup in New Hope 2: Electric Boogaloo.
2) Unf*ck Rian Johnson's Wendy's bathroom after a chili binge mess since Disney didn't have the balls to de-canonize TLJ.
3) Make an entire cast with the collective personality as an expired carton of milk somehow likeable enough to be remembered for anything other than the cinematic food poisoning they helped release upon the world.
4) Figure out how to cram three movies of character development retroactively into Rey.
5) Figure out how to kill off Rose off-screen, retroactively, and never mention her again.
6) Make Kyle and Ginger Hitler villains who are worth a damn. In fact, maybe pick a lane with Kyle - baddie? Good guy? Who the hell cares?
7) Explain the old guy missing half his face wearing some kind of Golden Girls, old lady robe and was killed off in TLJ. Why did they even bother? Why waste so much time? You have three damn movies, so what was the point of this guy if you're just going to wheel out Palpatineagain?
8) Make up for the rubbish fight scenes and in-character konami code:
YOU DIED.
9) Fix Luke Skywalker's entire decline as a character that effectively undoes the original trilogy.
10) Resurrect Carrie Fisher's corpsewithoutCGI puppetry. I'm talking legitimate black magic, here. Not for the movie, just to make up for TLJ.
11)Notwheel out yet another planet destroying super weapon that has to be destroyed by the third act or the base the plot on some Macguffin that must be stopped or the universe dies or some bullsh*t.
12)Notbring back even more bloody callbacks to the older movies knowing full well that these can't stand up alone through their own merits.
13) Make amovie, not an SJW soap box political statement aimed squarely at cyan-haired androgens.
So in other words, not a chance in hell.
Originally Posted By CaliSuperSport⏩
It is dude lol
btw I'm getting tired of people saying "...but Adam Driver has been great as Kylo Ren." Wtf, no he fukin hasn't. He's a mediocre actor with a terrible script. My friend and I laughed almost everytime his face came up because he's so emo.
btw I'm getting tired of people saying "...but Adam Driver has been great as Kylo Ren." Wtf, no he fukin hasn't. He's a mediocre actor with a terrible script. My friend and I laughed almost everytime his face came up because he's so emo.
The impression that the new trilogy's entire cast of villains gives me is the same sort of made up antagonists people like ANTIFA dream up in their heads thinking they're going off to fight against. It's what happens when weak willed, mental midget twats try to come up with a power fantasy.
As for Kylo (stupidest f*cking name, I swear), he's a whiny b*tch who should have kept the damn helmet on, and even his try-hard lightsaber is beyond stupid in practice - spoiler alert: that cross-guard is how you cut your own hands off.
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12-22-2019, 12:23 AM
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#157
Originally Posted By Scrizzle⏩
How was he introduced?Best part was the introduction of the new villain: Darth Cuckius.
Is it explained on how he's alive?
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12-22-2019, 01:50 AM
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#158
- conics
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fkin lol why is anyone using spoiler tags. like anyone wants to care about this movie.
pls destroy it as much as u can with the plot holes and fk the spoiler tags
pls destroy it as much as u can with the plot holes and fk the spoiler tags
I don't check my CP, IDC about reps/negs
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12-22-2019, 01:53 AM
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#159
Originally Posted By conics⏩
What are some plot holes?fkin lol why is anyone using spoiler tags. like anyone wants to care about this movie.
pls destroy it as much as u can with the plot holes and fk the spoiler tags
pls destroy it as much as u can with the plot holes and fk the spoiler tags
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12-22-2019, 02:38 AM
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#160
12-22-2019, 02:42 AM
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#161
fuking lmao so I just started watching and I'm already mad at just the scrolling text at the start...wtf? Emperor Palpatine sent a message? LOL wtf is this chit? Kill me now.
This is the most autistic chit I've ever seen. Christ.
This is the most autistic chit I've ever seen. Christ.
12-22-2019, 02:50 AM
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#162
12-22-2019, 02:53 AM
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#163
Originally Posted By wincel⏩
What was the message?fuking lmao so I just started watching and I'm already mad at just the scrolling text at the start...wtf? Emperor Palpatine sent a message? LOL wtf is this chit? Kill me now.
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12-22-2019, 02:59 AM
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#164
Originally Posted By iloveus⏩
They don't even tell you. They just say rumor is that Palpatine is back and then bam turns out he's been building a huge fleet out in bumfuknowhere. Fuk this movie srs. I'm 15 min in and already hate my life even more.What was the message?
12-22-2019, 02:59 AM
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#165
- x420SwagScopex
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- x420SwagScopex
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Movie wasn’t exactly bad... I mean Palpatine coming back was pretty forced and they had no real explanation for it. It was like “we realized all of our villains were ****s so we had to bring in a real bad guy.”
But the biggest problem for me was that at this point in the trilogy I just didn’t care anymore. The movie could have been 10/10 and I would have still been bored because it’s the third installment in a trilogy and the first 2 movies were dogchit.
Also lol at Rey calling herself a Skywalker at the end.... no you’re phucking not you lying sloot you’re a Palpatine lmao... Your name is Rey Palpatine
Also lol at how fast the movie moved at the beginning. The first 40 minutes of the movie felt like I was watching a sparknotes version of a Star Wars movie and then it slowed waayyyyy down in the second half. Pacing not even once.
Also lol at Jew Jew Abrams just undoing 80% of Rian Johnson’s decisions. TLJ might as well not even be canon anymore. Merry from LOTR suggests they do some lightspeed suicide attacks and Finn says “no we can’t because that would ruin the movie lmao”
Lol at the gratuitous lesbian sex scene at the end. Felt totally out of place in a Star Wars movie but I guess inclusion is important...
But the biggest problem for me was that at this point in the trilogy I just didn’t care anymore. The movie could have been 10/10 and I would have still been bored because it’s the third installment in a trilogy and the first 2 movies were dogchit.
Also lol at Rey calling herself a Skywalker at the end.... no you’re phucking not you lying sloot you’re a Palpatine lmao... Your name is Rey Palpatine
Also lol at how fast the movie moved at the beginning. The first 40 minutes of the movie felt like I was watching a sparknotes version of a Star Wars movie and then it slowed waayyyyy down in the second half. Pacing not even once.
Also lol at Jew Jew Abrams just undoing 80% of Rian Johnson’s decisions. TLJ might as well not even be canon anymore. Merry from LOTR suggests they do some lightspeed suicide attacks and Finn says “no we can’t because that would ruin the movie lmao”
Lol at the gratuitous lesbian sex scene at the end. Felt totally out of place in a Star Wars movie but I guess inclusion is important...
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12-22-2019, 03:00 AM
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#166
12-22-2019, 03:03 AM
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#167
Originally Posted By wincel⏩
They never used CGI for Leia. It was all unused footage of her from years agoThis fake Leia cg chit is also irritating af.
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12-22-2019, 03:10 AM
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#168
Originally Posted By iloveus⏩
It looks terrible. It basically doesn't fit at all...the emotions are all off.They never used CGI for Leia. It was all unused footage of her from years ago
They should have ended the movie right after they all got stuck in the sand pit.
12-22-2019, 03:18 AM
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#169
Originally Posted By x420SwagScopex⏩
Either Rian Johnson should have done both Episode 8 and Episode 9 or JJ Abrams should have done the entire trilogyAlso lol at Jew Jew Abrams just undoing 80% of Rian Johnson’s decisions. TLJ might as well not even be canon anymore. Merry from LOTR suggests they do some lightspeed suicide attacks and Finn says “no we can’t because that would ruin the movie lmao”
.
.
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12-22-2019, 03:22 AM
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#170
- x420SwagScopex
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Originally Posted By iloveus⏩
They should have had 1 director do the whole trilogy. Makes no sense to have different directors for every movie. See: Lord of the Rings, The Dark KnightEither Rian Johnson should have done both Episode 8 and Episode 9 or JJ Abrams should have done the entire trilogy
They also should have required the writers to come up with a plan for all the movies before they began filming. The fact that they spent a billion dollars on this franchise and then decided “idk we’ll just make it up as we go along lol” is mind blowing
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12-22-2019, 03:42 AM
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#171
- gwem32170191
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- gwem32170191
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Originally Posted By iloveus⏩
No. ****ing NO.There's only one cash cow corner of the star wars extended universe that they have yet to tap into, and thats The Old Republic. Please dear god let them pass over this.
If Rian Johnson ruins my childhood, I'll ruin his. Brb gay revan and malak. They'd also ruin the most well written character in SW history, Kreia, if they did KOTOR.
It is not so much the major events as the small day-to-day decisions that map the course of our living. . . Our lives are, in reality, the sum total of our seemingly unimportant decisions and of our capacity to live by those decisions. ― Gordon B. Hinckley
12-22-2019, 03:43 AM
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#172
- BraneyGumble
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Originally Posted By wincel⏩
It's because the footages were leftovers from TFA, and since they wanted to avoid CGI remakes of the characters (see Rogue One), they basically had to create new scenes around pre-existing material...yeah, you can see how that turned out. Out of place, no emotion, jarring af. And obviously they had to digitally stitch the scenes together, so there's that as well. The Luke & Leia lightsaber training face reveal was full on CGI though.It looks terrible. It basically doesn't fit at all...the emotions are all off.
They should have ended the movie right after they all got stuck in the sand pit.
They should have ended the movie right after they all got stuck in the sand pit.
12-22-2019, 03:46 AM
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#173
12-22-2019, 03:47 AM
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#174
Originally Posted By x420SwagScopex⏩
Unfortunately.They should have had 1 director do the whole trilogy. Makes no sense to have different directors for every movie. See: Lord of the Rings, The Dark Knight
They also should have required the writers to come up with a plan for all the movies before they began filming. The fact that they spent a billion dollars on this franchise and then decided “idk we’ll just make it up as we go along lol” is mind blowing
They also should have required the writers to come up with a plan for all the movies before they began filming. The fact that they spent a billion dollars on this franchise and then decided “idk we’ll just make it up as we go along lol” is mind blowing
https://deadline.com/2018/09/kathlee...rs-1202473246/
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12-22-2019, 03:49 AM
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#175
12-22-2019, 03:56 AM
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#176
12-22-2019, 04:02 AM
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#177
- BraneyGumble
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Originally Posted By gwem32170191⏩
- Jolee Bindo is actually a Jedi janitor who holds the spare keys for the Star Forge, providing a vital backup access for our heroes, also has the hots for Zaalbar. Loses his lightsaber, then gets offed by Rakata. Everybody laughs.No. ****ing NO.
There's only one cash cow corner of the star wars extended universe that they have yet to tap into, and thats The Old Republic. Please dear god let them pass over this.
If Rian Johnson ruins my childhood, I'll ruin his. Brb gay revan and malak. They'd also ruin the most well written character in SW history, Kreia, if they did KOTOR.
There's only one cash cow corner of the star wars extended universe that they have yet to tap into, and thats The Old Republic. Please dear god let them pass over this.
If Rian Johnson ruins my childhood, I'll ruin his. Brb gay revan and malak. They'd also ruin the most well written character in SW history, Kreia, if they did KOTOR.
- Bastila is the main protagonist, ditches Revan after the latter keeps annoying her with his unrequited love advances. When all seems lost, she casually smirks, activates her Battle Meditation and instantly wins the battle, then proceeds to scissor Juhani, while Revan watches
- turns out Revan is not actually a brilliant general/heroic fighter etc., he's merely Zaalbar's little b1tch who culturally appropriated the wookiee's accomplishments, since the rampant racism in the galaxy and the Jedi Order wouldn't accept the story. At the end of the movie Canderous Ordo finds out the truth, unceremoniously offs Revan for his lies, and pledges the Mandalorians into Zaalbar's service
- Zaalbar is a Force sensitive wookiee, dual wielding crossbows that fire lightsabers at hyperspeed. This becomes a crucial plot point when Zaalbar finally gets his revenge on the Jedi Council by oneshotting Dantooine from space
- Darth Malak is actually a cyborg puppet of Mission Vao, put together at the age of 5, the actual Malak transferred his conciousness decades ago into HK-47 so he can have endless murderfun until the end of times. This is hilarious. Keeps playing "why are you hitting yourself" with Revan
- the real mastermind behind the galaxy-spanning conspiracy and suffering is Mission Vao who plotted her revenge on the world after years of being head-tentacle-shamed by her peers. They didn't know her pain. Now they shall feel her pain.
12-22-2019, 04:12 AM
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#178
Originally Posted By wincel⏩
Probably a Senator. lolyea she is pretty hnnng in that robo suit and those eyes
srs question tho who did palpatine get nasty with
srs question tho who did palpatine get nasty with
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12-22-2019, 04:21 AM
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#179
- twiceasnice
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It was entertaining, just don't be a massive nerd and get angry over it, and you'll enjoy it
12-22-2019, 04:24 AM
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#180
Originally Posted By twiceasnice⏩
It was entertaining, just don't be a massive nerd and get angry over it, and you'll enjoy it
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