Or perhaps a queen from Naboo? He probably had a fetish for pregos and got a special thrill in fuking vader's girl while he was being reassembled.

u know what they say bro, money power and fame...pretty sure Palpatine ***** toileted that hoe too.

Just got back from the movie. The beginning was a bit boring with all the fetch quests, but once it got to the real story it was awesome. Good movie and a fitting end to the saga. Enjoyed it, and the best part was that my kids are old enough to have watched it with me, and they enjoyed it to... which was also a nice circle moment since ROTJ was the first "adult" movie my dad took me to see.

I'm feeling very good right now brahs.

I wish that Darth Plagueis would have returned instead of Palpatine.

That was probably the original plan for Snoke until Rian fuked it all up.

How even...?



That's what I find particularly annoying at this point about not only Star Wars, but many other stories these days: Everyone issomehowpulled back into the ring of bullsh*t from the most outer reaches of already torn reality to be conveniently related to the plot...again.

Because why pay Hollywood writers what they arepaid to doand make up new sh*t when they can just drag out the corpse parade again for another go around.

It's all the more egregious this time since even a non-fan like myself remembers Palpatine - back when they didn't feed him after midnight and he was called Sidious - telling Anakin about that Darth Plague-? guy, who was sounded like he could have been some ancient Sith who trained Palps or was lurking in the shadows...literally anythingcould have been arse-pulled to be a better reveal than that lazy crock.

Are JJ and his crew deaf to how poorly that same stunt was received when the last Bond flick tried to retcon the films beforehand all being orchestrated by Christoph Blofield? Who was also Bond's step-brother or something (again with the over-connected-ness in movies)? There comes a point (that is far earlier than these writers seem to think) after which it just comes across as too contrived to be taken seriously.


*Side note - I find it straight up uncanny that they really do reveal Palps is back through a message. I didn't even know that when I made the twitterDrakeKylo meme, but amessageis the best they could come up with... wow.Reading about it and especially their reasoning reeks of nothing being sacred more than them having any sincere meaning when they could have easily explained Leia's death before having her force space bubble herself back to safety in TLJ. I mean, they killed off Han quite unceremoniously in TFA, and apparently the higher ups were okay with Rian killing off Luke in the lamest way humanly possible, so there was no reason to not do an easy rewrite/shoot after Carrie Fisher's passing.

I don't know, there's something about this whole posthumous, digital reconstruction thing comes across as very Hollywood in that it is extraordinarily tasteless expression of how the big studios really see all of this in the end. They don't give a damn about "art," the actors, or anything other than selling their figurative souls, and then citing a clause that has copyrights their souls for an extra ten thousand years.Disney: We don't need eyes when we are this woke.

I'd bet that Matt and Trey are already planning the sequel to the Spielberg+Lucas childhood rape episode.

star wars is gay grow up

i watched the movie and i gotta say i actually enjoyed it,

for some context i absolute hate the last jed, complete dogchit,

but this movie idk it was alright, probably my 5 or 6th favorite star wars film.

Anyway it's alright but their are things weighing it down.

Mainly being that it felt like multiple movies forced into one, giving a rushed feel to the movie, no explanation for certain things. A new power that completely breaks all lore and makes all other movies pointless. The lackluster previous films certainly didn't help, rey is still a mary sue, blatant rip off of other films, and that ending was godawful and the most disgusting thing i've ever seen honestly.


Things i liked, Rey isn't quite as perfect in this film.

By far the best acting we've seen in the new trilogy, although that isn't saying much

action felt cool

actual lightsaber battle

effects felt nice

actually felt like star wars


idk man this one is a major mixed bag, maybe it's different cause i walked in with the lowest expectations possible, but over all i was pleasantly surprised.

"because reasons" is a meme to point out poor plot in a film or show. The reason something happened/exists in the show is literally to just move the plot forward. Kinda like a mcguffin.

In regards to Palpatine, people are claiming he lived because "dUdE hEs tHe MoSt pOweRfUL SiTh evEr" which is a garbage fukin reason even for a child fan of these films.

I heard that the official "lore experts" for star wars had almost no involvement in this film, which explains alot of the inconsistencies.

Bored at work waiting for the games to start and did some research.

Palpatines power isnt that outrageous according to the comics

The Emperor can destroy entire fleets with the Force, with the usage of his Force Wormhole Hyperspace Storm Abillity

So Rey having some crazy force abilities may not that be outlandish either. The whole force ghost thing might be out the realm of canon and something new but others can be explained.

The lightsaber teleport thing is also a power

Fold space was a Force power that allowed a Force-user to bend space to instantly transport an object between places.

Not defending the movie but the ridiculous op powers that I'm hearing about weren't just magically made up for the movie.

Anakin should have come back as a force ghost and killed Palpatine. lol at the title being "The Rise of Skywalker," when they kill all of the Skywalkers.

Not gonna pay to see it. The first two Disney Star Wars films were terrible, and I'm not getting suckered into spending $12 or whatever to see a third one.

There are countless dumb things about the new trilogy, but perhaps the worst part is how they explained their chitting all over the old characters as the new movies being about the new ones with the old chacters being secondary and passing the torch so to speak. Then they bring in Palpatine as the ultimate bad guy again at the end. Give me a break.

Can’t get over how awful Rey looks when she fights with a lightsaber. No idea why they always had her fight with one hand but it just looked like she was having a hard time holding it. She was super slow. Fire that fight choreographer.

Yep alot of that was in EU material. Problem is...that eu material is comic book garbage and best forgotten.

Palpatine in the Prequels/Original Trilogy is an insect compared to Palpatine in the comics/books.

I mean TLJ managed to take a massive dump on Force ghosts as well - besides around a dozen things -, as they previously couldn't interact with the real world besides offering guidance, but Rihanna Johnson turned dying from an inconvenience into a massive "I'm immortal/invulnerable, prepare your angus" upgrade for Force users.

Which also means that Sheev could always return as a red Force ghost...

edit:

also, apparently Kylo missed the whole Force ghost seminar galactic history recap with granddad Anakin/Obi-Wan/Yoda and the ppt from uncle Luke before he decided to cosplay as evilg grandpa Anakin.

I mean i chuckled throughout at the everything. Can dust my hands and move on.

Movie is a typical modern movie. Snap your fingers and stuff appears. There is no responsibility or work - which then means no reward/consequence - which then makes the characters have no soul.

Can tell it was not a formed story. So much backtracking and plot holes lol.

So all of a sudden everybody knows about palp and rey. I thought luke was hiding, wanted no more jedi or sith, grey. Nope now hes like yo rey do it for the jedi etc.

So palp slayed on the side, which makes his kid the same age as anakin. I mean it is what it is.

Entire republic is skeptical and brushing aside first order, and now lando makes a few calls and we all gto the party on the sith world lol.

Rey is super mary sue. Why is she training at the start as if she unworthy and next scene she is dope. Movie is a power creep.

The biggest one of all is the reviving chit and the manipulation of time and space giving you my saber in the next room. Wish anakin knew this power, wish plagueis knew this power lmao. It chit on all prior movies, chosen one stuff is nonsense. Like just make a separate movie then with separate names lol oh wait see my first paragraph.


Could go on and on. Like i said. Its done and dusted and lets move on. It was detached from 7 and 8. This movie should have been the actual trilogy and perhaps then we could tolerate it.

Brb palp just sent a text to the galaxy, bam im back.

Loved the ewoks just waving, some lesbo action at the end, the endgame ripoff scene lol

This movie felt like Disney only made it because they had to. Like, they probably would have preferred to just scrap the trilogy and start over after TLJ but of course they couldn’t so they just shat this movie out.

it was basically worst sw movie I have ever seen...even worse than TLJ and ep 2...

too many cheap fake deaths, unlikely coincidences, and OP force powers...

fuk kathleen kennedy...i hope a thousand flesh eating scarabs devour her stinking roast beef flaps

also ion cannons in sw are blue, not green...fuking idiots!!

This new trilogy has been all downhill since that moment in the first one where the bad guy froze the blaster laser bolt thing. Thought he was going to be cool. Turned out to be really gay.

I think that was like 13 seconds into the first film

Lol i just happened to randomly see that specific clip last night. Ur spot on about it literally being the climax and everything went stupid after.

Yeah I thought it was gonna be fukkin cool, looked real dark like you'd assume a post empire movie would be.

We all saw what happened next

Star Wars is suffering from major power creep. The original death star can blow up a planet, starkiller base can blow up 3 at once, now in this movie there's 50,000 star destroyers and ALL of them can blow up planets with a single shot? Is the emperor trying to rule the galaxy or wipe out all living things? Someone needs to tell Disney that planets don't need to get blown up in every movie in order for the stakes to be high... maybe if we actually cared about the characters we could just worry about them.

Also lol at how the force used to be telekinesis and mind tricks, now Rey can grab a spaceship out of the air and pull it back, both Rey AND Kylo can straight up magically heal wounds and bring people back from the dead, oh and Palpatine can zap an entire fleet of spaceships out of the sky with his fingers... but he cant zap through a lightsaber... I guess the force is just whatever JewJew Abrams needs it to be at that particular moment?

just got back from the theatre

not gonna write a review now (maybe tomorrow if I feel like it) but I just gotta say this movie was a piece of ****

it takes everything that makes Star Wars, ****s on it and trows it out the window

I am disgust

there comes nothing after Return of the Jedi as far as I'm concerned

the phantom menace looks goat in comparison

it really does, even Jar Jar >>> almost every character from the Disney movies

jar jar is the key to all of this

I still believe jarjar is snoke

in retrospect the Darth Jar Jar theory wouldn't have been that bad tbh

This movie had so many fake-outs it was dizzying. Like they wanted to pretend the movie had tension and drama but didn't actually want to set up or pay off anything

Oh no chewie got blowed up by rey. GOTCHA it was actually a different ship that we never showed you before because drama. Because the empire brought 2 separate transport ships for reasons.

Oh no Kylo got died. GOTCHA actually Rey can heal him. But actually Leia got died instead. DOUBLE GOTCHA

Oh no Kylo get thrown down bottomless abyss. GOTCHA actually he climb up.

But actually Rey die GOTCHA Kylo heal her. But actually Kylo die. And also Leah die because she was presumable possessing him the whole time! She wasn't really dead before but now she is. DOUBLE DOUBLE GOTCHA!!

.Interview: What is your favorite fan theory?

JJ Abrams: My favorite one is the Darth Jar Jar. It's somewhat plausible. It makes sense.