TFW a strong foundation/connection breaks apart because right place, wrong time. We meet all sorts of people, but finding a real connection, someone you share a strong core with, whether that be religion, culture, job, hobby ( job/hobby somewhat might not be a strong shared core) doesn’t happen too often. And if it does happen, everything else has to work out and other boxes have to check out as well like attractiveness, family relationships, etc, etc. If I were to guess I’d say it happens a handful of times in life, every other relationship is just cope. Settling for a relationship happens all too often because it’s easy knowing you have someone.

Ok yes, I would make accomodations obviously for the relationship just like everyone does. Is that supposed to be news? Its not like my entire life would change though. I still go to work and do my hobbies and see my friends.

See below:And to take that even further, most men will succumb to this and allow themselves to destroy the "single life" they built. The ruination of their "single life" tends to include, no longer going out to bars with the brahs. No longer being as active when it comes to exercise, or sports. No longer pursuing certain career moves. No longer focusing on how to increase their own satisfaction. Seeing friends less, and alotting more and more time to their girlfriends. They do this specifically because there is a priority switch when you move into a relationship. It's slow. But it happens to almost all men.

And with this, comes the ruination of the relationship.

You've let somebody change you entirely.

It's not as easy as saying "I just won't let them do that."

Because weren't you an incel before that?So your catch 22 is now... You don't want it to change, but you know that if they leave you... You'll be alone. And so begins your spiral into becoming just like 95% of the male population.

After all, isn't this woman the THING that has made your life complete? Isn't she the last piece of the puzzle? Could you really say that you can prevent yourself from becoming supplicant?

That changes though. It’s easy to say that. And it starts out like that. And great if you can pull it off, but the balancing act isn’t easy. That’s what TypeNirvash was trying to get at.

It’s also easy to develop resentment when your girl needs your attention and takes you away from some time with your friends. If you want a relationship to go far, she becomes priority 2 to yourself. That doesn’t mean you have to lose things or neglect the other things important to yourself, it just changes.
On recharge and spread probably. But OP, he even elaborated more and put it better.

I’ve lost women on the opposite end of this instead of the other way. It’s hard to balance.

He was in a relationship for two months, I don't think that's enough for these changes to really root in.This 100%. It's a big part of what causes men to just uproot their entire life to appease their woman.

Very easy to say "I'll find the balance." But it's not that easy to do. I didn't find the balance until recently.Oh dude, absolutely, I've definitely taken it too far and destroyed it too.

I think a big part of the balance is genuinely also never allowing yourself to get "contented"

I'm confused so let me try to explain it another way.

right now my life is

1. Go to work
2. do my hobbies
3. See my friends

Obviously if was in a relationship time would be devoted to that and take away from hobbies and friends. That is fine. Obviously that has to happen. That isnt a problem.

What exactly is the problem here?

I'm totally fine with that. Obviously I would be devoting time to the relationship, I would happily do that. I'm tired of being alone.

You were confused so let me lay out exactly what I was trying to say by quoting this post instead.

Do you think that you can keep giving the same thing to somebody and that it will remain the same value? What happens when certain actions aren't worth the same as they were in the beginning of your relationship? How far into figuring out the balance of your life do you think you'll get before you realize... That you either go back to being incel, or appease her? What happens when you realize that you can't get complacent and you have to keep improving, improving, improving? Do you become superman for her?

What happens for you then?

He appeases endlessly. No abundance mentality in the world is going to give him the power dynamic unless he is packing some serious lifestyle cash. Substitutes are not readily available.

And that's why you need to become the BEST for yourself, and not for anybody else.

Like I said, in the name of puss*y I would be motivated to do those things if it was necessary. It would be worth it, because being an incel is going to drive me off a bridge so the alternative is better no matter what I have to do.

The best version of a 5'3 ugly dude with a sex drive is probably in a relationship as the "beta provider". I could be wrong there, but doesn't seem so far fetched to me.

Unfortunately, you will find that this is a losing proposition and you will never be able to collect your NUTs back off the floor once they've been taken away. And you will realize that you've slowly eroded your life away until the point where you no longer have one outside of this woman.

How satisfied would you be then?

Why? I dont fuking care dude. I am fine as things are OTHER THAN being an incel.

I cant say because that's never happened. I can't predict the future. All I know is most people would rather be in relationships than be an incel, so thats probably the better option worth doing

I'll let you know as somebody who has been in relationships, it's better to be alone than to endure all of what I have outlined. Srs.I have to disagree specifically because I know a guy who is only 2 inches taller, is balding, and his wife is letting him quit his job to pursue his dreams of running marathons for a living. Dude is just a regular guy and isn't good looking by any stretch. He's very goofy looking. But he's a dope dude.

Would have to say a guy that could pull that off would be the best version of a 5'5'' ugly dude can be. I'd imagine that a difference of two inches probably wouldn't change an awful lot.

Best version of =/= what is likely to happen, though.

Wish I could rep you again, BBM and other incel brahs need to stop overanalyzing and making up scenarios. Most of your fulfillment and content in life will come in the pursuit of goals. Striving towards something is the name of the game.

I do horrible with women brahs. I'm 5'5, ethnic (I'm using you incels brahs terms, I don't think this matters), and a little overweight, have bad skin, I dress like chit, and sometimes just look like a mess. Even with that, almost a 100% of my social interactions are positive, approaching and talking to women isn't as hard as you think. They're probably more neurotic and insecure than you are.. You just have to be a chill dude. It's all about attitude and how you talk to people man. When you talk to people, make it all about them.. Come in with a loving and positive attitude. I have good friends, hobbies that I'm working hard on, and a deep desire to self-improve. I used to be a socially anxious mess, always worried about what someone else thought of me. I was bullied when I was younger, and that left some marks. I'm working on it.. I'm SO much better than I was. TypeNirvash is right. My life is so much better now because of self-improvement, and it's still without women. One more thing, you incel brahs need to leave the door open.. You need HOPE that things will turn out better in the future. That HOPE is fuel, it's manna from heaven, the bread of life.

I'm working on my physical aspects brahs. Look if you TypeNirvash, or an other well known poster could start and maintain an incel improvement thread (where only updates, practical questions, and positive general chatter could be allowed) I'd be down to post some of my thoughts and progress. I'm AM NOT CHAD. I don't fit the archetype. Maybe if I can have some success, it can show that you guys can too. There's no reason to why not.. People like y'all succeed everyday.

Maybe its not worth it for you, but it would be for me.


And your friend is probably white let me guess? White guys can get away with being short. ugly black dudes cannot.

Misc is way too blind on the impact of race on these issues.

Dude, not everyone is the same. There are Type A people who are into the goal setting stuff and find that to be important. Not everyone is like that.

I for one do not give a single fuk about any of that. I just want to do my job and do things I enjoy.

I'm not a chad, but I'm not an incel. I've had success on Tinder, snapchat, coworkers, friends, etc. I'm tall, handsome. But a chad no.

I want to believe in the White Pill but there are certain, unmodifiable traits men have that objectively make it harder to date: Height and ethnicity.

White guys have it the easiest, followed by hispanics. And from there it's anyone's guess. Being tall puts you in anyone's potential dating pool. Period.

But that doesn't mean you can't find love if you lack desirable traits. You just need to be the best version of yourself, lower your damn standards, and stop thinking the endgame is fuking new stacy sloots every week. That's gets old fast. And the post orgasm wave of regret will hit harder and harder and you'll want just a decently cute girl to stay with you.

So, all you really need is one, like OP states.

But if you aren't confident, don't look like you take care of yourself, don't have a clean home/car, a decent job, and can't hold conversation, it won't matter how Chad you are.

If you buy into the black pill, you are your greatest enemy. There are good girls out there whoreallyplace importance in personalty and similar interests. Not every girl is a sloot. You just need to put yourself in positions to meet these women and step out of your comfort zone. And TALK to them.

Was with you until this part. This just isnt reality dude. There are many many many losers out there banging chicks like there's no end. Particularly in the black community, loser thugs are prefered over anything else. No job or house or anything needed other than being decent looking and ghetto

BBM do me a favor and watch this. You can play it at 1.5x speed and it's still easy to understand:

I'll watch it, but just to keep in mind that white people live in a different world when it comes to dating and most of the stuff they say and believe is not applicable to black guys. I no longer listen to white people when it comes to dating, cause they simply are playing on an easier mode and dont understand. for example "just be confident bro" works for white guys basically but does not work for black people like that.

As a white guy, you're dating pool is much much bigger because other races tend to prefer white guys(especially asians) in addition to white women.

Just try and watch it without the prior bias though. The other guy in the video is Indian.

He's a hispanic brah but his wife is white. Dunno if that makes any difference for you.Legit bolding these points specifically because they're part of what makes life worth living.

I really enjoy seeing you around, because you get it. You know that what I'm talking about isn't sex, or even getting women... It's finding a full, well-rounded, and beautiful life. It's moving toward fulfilling the soul, and when your cup spills over, it pours into those cups around yours. It's nourishing the people around you by building wonderful connections.

The last bolded part is beautiful, serious. Hope that your future will grow into a better place is motivation to make your future a better place.

There is a thread that I did make regarding it, but it kind of died pretty immediately.

Still we definitely have to pop on a discord channel and shoot the chit. Would love to hear how you're doing and updates from you in general (been meaning to still try to have a conversation in spanish with ya, but ya' boi is still brushing up!)--sent you a quick PM there!

I do think it'd be phenominal for other brahs, especially guys like BBM to see that there are guys in his situation that are able to still see the beauty in life...And succeed

I dont doubt that what you're saying works for some people. I believe that, but you have to understand that everyone is different.

Likewise brah! I appreciate you actually trying to reason with people, and trying to help them, even when their objections sound ridiculous. You're a more patient dude than I am.

Sending you a message back..

So I watched the video, and I mostly agree with it. I believe the guy in the video as basically an average white guy who could at the very least could get a fat girlfriend if his effort was put in the right places. Of course there are people like this, it doesnt surprise me.

I dont believe this applies to me though.

Equally possible is that we do know it but aren't capable (or even desiring) of becoming an entirely different person in order to conform to social norms sufficiently enough to pretend to be normal.

No need to cope. Aren't capable is fair, not desiring probably isn't. You wish you were fun and you know it.

Who wants to be a sad kunt?