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Forum » Meeting up with an ex tomorrow..just found out she's dating someone
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Thread: Meeting up with an ex tomorrow..just found out she's dating someone

post 1621311481 11-03-2020, 04:47 PM
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Meeting up with an ex tomorrow..just found out she's dating someone

So to try and keep it short I texted my ex for the first time in a year a few days ago and we're meeting up tomorrow for dinner to catch up. I dated her for about 2 years and long story short it was 100% my fault we broke up due to severe personal issues. We shared a social circle and I decided to pry a bit and found out she's been dating someone for around 1-2 months. I've seen his fb profile and I will just say idk wtf she's thinking.

I'm still meeting up with her regardless as I'd want her back in my life but idk how to feel about this tbh. I don't really feel jealous or anything but that's probably cus I haven't seen her in ages? I dated a girl somewhat recently for a few months but not seeing anyone currently but still trying to process this. I stopped texting her after I set up the dinner plans but she then texted me a couple times saying how she's really excited for it.

So I have to act like I don't know she's dating someone but idk if I should bring it up or not. My main goal is to make her see that I've changed so that she can trust me again, and see wherever that leads I guess idk. Fully focused on self improvement but if after seeing her I start to get jelly idk what will happen in that case but I won't nc or anything as she really means/meant a lot to me. Idc how that sounds.

So really just looking for any advice I guess specifically on if I should bring up if she's seeing anyone.



Not posting any pics of her so there's a pic of the girl I dated after her. She's 28 somehow.
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post 1621311611 11-03-2020, 04:48 PM
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She looks like she’s 37 man wtf
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post 1621311891 11-03-2020, 04:51 PM
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Originally Posted By RealLifeAlpha⏩
She looks like she’s 37 man wtf
That’s not her it’s a girl I dated after we broke up lol

Tfw u didn’t read post.. maybe I’ll make cliffs but cbf now
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post 1621312051 11-03-2020, 04:52 PM
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Very beta. The prying, blaming yourself, getting overly emotional. Just cut your balls off now.
post 1621312241 11-03-2020, 04:53 PM
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can't see sh*t
post 1621312321 11-03-2020, 04:54 PM
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no dinner! you meet for drinks only!!!
post 1621312391 11-03-2020, 04:54 PM
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If it didn't work then wont work now. Even if the proper changes were made it will never be the same and attempting so will be worse on you. srs.
"What does a Scanner see?"
post 1621312601 11-03-2020, 04:56 PM
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OP you're going to have to tell her somehow that you have feelings for her. You're going to see her in person and that'll be the best time to do that. If you don't make your intentions known at the dinner, then she might get spooked later and deny you another chance to meet again (ie, you hold back your feelings and then end up texting her how you feel later). Your feelings will be better received if it's in person. Before you even give out any of that, be sure to comment on how beautiful/great she looks (serious). This way she'll know you still find her physically attractive.

Overall, aside from complimenting her, tell her somewhat that you have feelings for her. Don't rely on meeting her a second time if you hold back on this first meeting.
Originally Posted By ScannerDarkly⏩
If it didn't work then wont work now. Even if the proper changes were made it will never be the same and attempting so will be worse on you. srs.
Don't listen to this guy. Your relationship will never "go back to how it was". It'll be a new beginning a new normal. Don't be discouraged. Listen to you heart and ignore those telling you otherwise because no one really knows how you feel. #YOLO (serious)
post 1621312611 11-03-2020, 04:56 PM
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Is this an aware thread?
post 1621312741 11-03-2020, 04:57 PM
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Originally Posted By GordonXXX⏩
no dinner! you meet for drinks only!!!
The only dining place on campus with drinks is closed or would have ended up going there
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post 1621312761 11-03-2020, 04:57 PM
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so she has a boyfriend but is still going to go out with her ex, is excited about it, and has double texted.

Shes simping you to the nth degree and you are still questioning it?

Bro...

shes just itching for an excuse to leave him and jump back on your dink, srs
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post 1621312881 11-03-2020, 04:58 PM
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i would wear a dirty diaper as a mask to the date (srs)
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post 1621312981 11-03-2020, 04:59 PM
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Originally Posted By ScannerDarkly⏩
If it didn't work then wont work now. Even if the proper changes were made it will never be the same and attempting so will be worse on you. srs.
Would be different how? I’ve only dated 2 girls other than her and they ended for real reasons and wouldn’t even think about trying to get back with them.
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post 1621312991 11-03-2020, 04:59 PM
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Originally Posted By justgenetics⏩
The only dining place on campus with drinks is closed or would have ended up going there
what is your goal? what exactly are you trying to accomplish with this meeting?
post 1621313031 11-03-2020, 04:59 PM
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I only read the first two sentences and I can see why she left your azz. I'm surprised she didn't shoot herself
post 1621313231 11-03-2020, 05:00 PM
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this almost seems like a troll post wtf is wrong with you
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post 1621313361 11-03-2020, 05:01 PM
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Originally Posted By muscle
OP you're going to have to tell her somehow that you have feelings for her. You're going to see her in person and that'll be the best time to do that. If you don't make your intentions known at the dinner, then she might get spooked later and deny you another chance to meet again (ie, you hold back your feelings and then end up texting her how you feel later). Your feelings will be better received if it's in person. Before you even give out any of that, be sure to comment on how beautiful/great she looks (serious). This way she'll know you still find her physically attractive.

Overall, aside from complimenting her, tell her somewhat that you have feelings for her. Don't rely on meeting her a second time if you hold back on this first meeting.



Don't listen to this guy. Your relationship will never "go back to how it was". It'll be a new beginning a new normal. Don't be discouraged. Listen to you heart and ignore those telling you otherwise because no one really knows how you feel. #YOLO (serious)
Your problem is you put the pussy on a pedestal.
post 1621313571 11-03-2020, 05:02 PM
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Originally Posted By muscle
OP you're going to have to tell her somehow that you have feelings for her. You're going to see her in person and that'll be the best time to do that. If you don't make your intentions known at the dinner, then she might get spooked later and deny you another chance to meet again (ie, you hold back your feelings and then end up texting her how you feel later). Your feelings will be better received if it's in person. Before you even give out any of that, be sure to comment on how beautiful/great she looks (serious). This way she'll know you still find her physically attractive.

Overall, aside from complimenting her, tell her somewhat that you have feelings for her. Don't rely on meeting her a second time if you hold back on this first meeting.



Don't listen to this guy. Your relationship will never "go back to how it was". It'll be a new beginning a new normal. Don't be discouraged. Listen to you heart and ignore those telling you otherwise because no one really knows how you feel. #YOLO (serious)
Yeah this is mainly what I’m kinda worried about tbh. Like I had no plans or anything to confess any feels or anything as I don’t know what they currently are since I haven’t seen her in a long time. I was just gonna see how it plays out and how the mood is etc but yeah I def agree knowing she’s been dating someone for a short while I’d have to make any intentions clear..
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post 1621313941 11-03-2020, 05:05 PM
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Originally Posted By Jestbrah⏩
so she has a boyfriend but is still going to go out with her ex, is excited about it, and has double texted.

Shes simping you to the nth degree and you are still questioning it?

Bro...

shes just itching for an excuse to leave him and jump back on your dink, srs
Well idk man the thing is I’ve never had better chemistry with a girl before but I was a complete degenerate essentially and idk how she’d be able to trust me again

I guess I have to see how it goes when we meet up
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post 1621314261 11-03-2020, 05:08 PM
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If she's official with the new guy it's sketchy she's agreeing to go to dinner with you.
post 1621314331 11-03-2020, 05:08 PM
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Originally Posted By GordonXXX⏩
what is your goal? what exactly are you trying to accomplish with this meeting?
Idc how this sounds but my main intention is just to show her I’ve changed and to get her to trust me again (I had substance abuse issues and found out I have a severe mood disorder.. led to me taking her very for granted)

So my intention isn’t even just to get back together per se but Idk how Id deal with her dating someone I guess
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post 1621314741 11-03-2020, 05:11 PM
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Originally Posted By skinnyfat88⏩
If she's official with the new guy it's sketchy she's agreeing to go to dinner with you.
Idk anything other than they’ve been dating 1-2 months but I don’t think lesser of her or anything for it just going off of how our relationship was for the most part
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post 1621315451 11-03-2020, 05:15 PM
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post 1621316181 11-03-2020, 05:19 PM
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Originally Posted By justgenetics⏩
Well idk man the thing is I’ve never had better chemistry with a girl before but I was a complete degenerate essentially and idk how she’d be able to trust me again

I guess I have to see how it goes when we meet up
women love having chemistry and being degraded, thats like the ultimate mix up to make a woman obsessed with you
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post 1621318111 11-03-2020, 05:31 PM
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Man I think this is a bad idea. I did the same with my ex of 5 years but she was the one who messaged me out of nowhere asking to catch up on things and my stupid self agreed. I worked out on myself hoping she would get back with me. So the meet up comes, I chose a nice restaurant and we had dinner and drinks. She was a bit buzzed and sat on my lap at the end. I asked her hows her love life and she had told me it was amazing as she's been dating this new guy and showed me a pic.

From there I almost spit my drink out and tried to play it off. I said I'm glad she was happy and told her I was a bit tired and wanted to go home. I had wished I never answered her text and regret meeting up with her as it set me back to the first day of heart break. Never again. If it didnt work out the first time, I don't think it will work out at all but good luck boyo
post 1621320181 11-03-2020, 05:43 PM
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thats to be expected. She probably found someone a few weeks after.. forget years later..lol
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post 1621327571 11-03-2020, 06:28 PM
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Originally Posted By Jestbrah⏩
women love having chemistry and being degraded, thats like the ultimate mix up to make a woman obsessed with you
At first unintentionally ignoring her for days had that effect but eventually it just made her resent me it seemed which is expected

Also why I almost didn’t expect her to even reply let alone be enthusiastic but it’s been a long time I guess
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post 1621328091 11-03-2020, 06:31 PM
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Originally Posted By NLNFunKti0nz⏩
Man I think this is a bad idea. I did the same with my ex of 5 years but she was the one who messaged me out of nowhere asking to catch up on things and my stupid self agreed. I worked out on myself hoping she would get back with me. So the meet up comes, I chose a nice restaurant and we had dinner and drinks. She was a bit buzzed and sat on my lap at the end. I asked her hows her love life and she had told me it was amazing as she's been dating this new guy and showed me a pic.

From there I almost spit my drink out and tried to play it off. I said I'm glad she was happy and told her I was a bit tired and wanted to go home. I had wished I never answered her text and regret meeting up with her as it set me back to the first day of heart break. Never again. If it didnt work out the first time, I don't think it will work out at all but good luck boyo
Damn that sucks man, I can tell how terrible that would feel. I wouldn’t have texted my ex while I was seeing someone so must’ve been a mind ****. Why did you break up?

I appreciate it, I don’t have real expectations so I don’t think I’d be affected nearly as much
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post 1621330341 11-03-2020, 06:43 PM
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Originally Posted By justgenetics⏩
Idk anything other than they’ve been dating 1-2 months but I don’t think lesser of her or anything for it just going off of how our relationship was for the most part
You should have found out from her whether she was seeing someone before finalizing your dinner plans. Would have been one simple question to ask.

That she's seeing you while dating someone else, serious or not, would be enough for me to want to back out. But you can't now because you never asked her, and to let her know you know would mean you snooped somehow, and that's not a good or confident look.

But I know how it is when you miss an ex. best of luck boyo. however you deal with it, don't involve her in it. vent to your family, your bros, or anyone else. but don't discuss it with her past "oh that's cool, i'm happy for you"
"So t
post 1621332161 11-03-2020, 06:54 PM
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Originally Posted By Zackad⏩
You should have found out from her whether she was seeing someone before finalizing your dinner plans. Would have been one simple question to ask.

That she's seeing you while dating someone else, serious or not, would be enough for me to want to back out. But you can't now because you never asked her, and to let her know you know would mean you snooped somehow, and that's not a good or confident look.

But I know how it is when you miss an ex. best of luck boyo. however you deal with it, don't involve her in it. vent to your family, your bros, or anyone else. but don't discuss it with her past "oh that's cool, i'm happy for you"
Honestly wasn’t even thinking about getting back together with her initially just wanted to get back in touch with her, so didn’t think to ask. Curiosity then got the best of me so I wanted to find out

Appreciate it bro
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