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Forum » Confidence Is A Choice. Agree or Disagree?
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Thread: Confidence Is A Choice. Agree or Disagree?

post 1621898351 11-07-2020, 06:52 PM
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Confidence Is A Choice. Agree or Disagree?

Heard this the other day on a video said so matter-of-factly.

Agree or disagree?
post 1621898401 11-07-2020, 06:52 PM
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disagree.
post 1621898961 11-07-2020, 06:57 PM
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Originally Posted By muralitharann⏩
disagree.
Why?
Originally Posted By SuperHercules⏩
It can be a choice which eventually leads to a habit and becomes natural if you don't already have it


Everyone can be confident
I like the way you think.
post 1621899621 11-07-2020, 07:02 PM
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Disagree. Confidence has to be backed by something. "You canchooseto be confident is exactly the type of thing some Elliott Hulse type internet huckster might sell you, but without proof that you actuallycando X, it's just empty puffery.
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post 1621899871 11-07-2020, 07:04 PM
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Agreed, you can even choose the level of confidence you have, being over confident is also a choice. There are merely many other factors and experiences that can influence your choice.
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post 1621899941 11-07-2020, 07:04 PM
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It's not completely a choice, as anybody who has enough negative or adverse events happen to them is going to lose confidence.

What is a choice is having control over your personal environment. I've found that my confidence shot up when I eliminated certain people from my circle of friends. It also helps to be financially secure.
post 1621900701 11-07-2020, 07:10 PM
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The definition of confidence is "a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities."


Not every is born self confident. However, Anyone can absolutely approve their abilities and qualities. Thus improving their confidence.



There are a lot of people that are just negative thinkers and losers by nature that will never even attempt to improve themselves.
post 1621902521 11-07-2020, 07:24 PM
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Originally Posted By FA*******⏩
Disagree. Confidence has to be backed by something. "You canchooseto be confident is exactly the type of thing some Elliott Hulse type internet huckster might sell you, but without proof that you actuallycando X, it's just empty puffery.
What proof do you need? If I spill milk, I can choose not to be angry and just accept what happened. Why can't I choose to be confident? What's holding me back? My thoughts of not being confident?
Originally Posted By JaymzJ⏩
Agreed, you can even choose the level of confidence you have, being over confident is also a choice. There are merely many other factors and experiences that can influence your choice.
I think this is a pretty good point. We have the choice, but our experiences and life make it seem as though we don't. Environment has a big impact, but you can still choose.
Originally Posted By OliverHeldens⏩
It's not completely a choice, as anybody who has enough negative or adverse events happen to them is going to lose confidence.

What is a choice is having control over your personal environment. I've found that my confidence shot up when I eliminated certain people from my circle of friends. It also helps to be financially secure.
I disagree with the first point. Gary vee (I don't really like him just using him as an example), enjoys losing and being an underdog. It gives him more motivation to pursue greatness. Is that not a choice?

And although your second point makes sense and can help confidence, finance and types of friends have nothing to do with confidence in terms of necessity. I know poor guys that have more confidence than financially secure brahs. Why is that?
Originally Posted By guest89⏩
The definition of confidence is "a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities."


Not every is born self confident. However, Anyone can absolutely approve their abilities and qualities. Thus improving their confidence.



There are a lot of people that are just negative thinkers and losers by nature that will never even attempt to improve themselves.
I disagree with the fact not everyone is born confident. I think everyone is born with a clean slate of emotion. Events, environment, etc all impact ones thoughts and actions. Genetics plays a part. But all of that creates the illusion that we don't have the ability to be confident by choice.

Our entire society is not real in the sense that we created this reality. "Cool" and "confident" socially to a zoomer is being a whore on tik tok or a korean pop star in a boy band. That's not real.

Right now I can choose to be confident and walk around confident mentally because I create my confidence. I don't let others dictate it.

Do you agree?
post 1621902801 11-07-2020, 07:27 PM
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post 1621902901 11-07-2020, 07:28 PM
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Originally Posted By FrankGrimes29⏩
What proof do you need? If I spill milk, I can choose not to be angry and just accept what happened. Why can't I choose to be confident? What's holding me back? My thoughts of not being confident?
Can you move the milk without spilling it? The evidence says no.

Similarly, I canchooseto think I can dunk over LeBron James at 5'7", but if he and I ever 1 on 1ed, the evidence would say otherwise.
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post 1621903181 11-07-2020, 07:29 PM
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just be confident bro
post 1621903321 11-07-2020, 07:30 PM
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100%

I can walk in to some random class room and completely talk out of my ass about the subject. Obviously I wouldn't know what's coming out of my mouth and will look like an idiot, but still with confidence. Or I can do it timidly.

When you walk around the street, you can either look down avoiding eye contact or having a tunnel vision. Or you can have a sick gait, chin up and looking around.

I think it's a 100% up to the person. Fake it till you make it and all.
post 1621903611 11-07-2020, 07:32 PM
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Fake confidence is a choice

Real confidence comes from experience and success
post 1621903681 11-07-2020, 07:33 PM
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Originally Posted By SuperHercules⏩
It can be a choice which eventually leads to a habit and becomes natural if you don't already have it


Everyone can be confident
This. Everything else is incel talk
post 1621904091 11-07-2020, 07:36 PM
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it's not a choice. confidence is based off a continuous feedback loop.

let's say, you put a 10/10 guy in front of 20 8/10 girls. his typical routine is to hit on each one and he gets a lay. let's say he goes through all 20 and they brutally reject him. his confidence will plummet. no matter how innately confident he is, if he keeps getting rejected his self belief will dwindle.



another example:

let's say you have a buff guy. he normally acts very charismatic, leader of the people, etc, and people look up to him because he has the stature to back it up. now let's say one day he wakes up and goes about his day, but now nobody respects him. nobody is intimidated by him, and nobody looks up to him despite his stature. his confidence would plummet.
post 1621904141 11-07-2020, 07:36 PM
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Originally Posted By Omnivium⏩
Fake confidence is a choice

Real confidence comes from experience and success
^ ^ ^ ^ ^
^
^
^
^
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post 1621904471 11-07-2020, 07:38 PM
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Originally Posted By FA*******⏩
Can you move the milk without spilling it? The evidence says no.

Similarly, I canchooseto think I can dunk over LeBron James at 5'7", but if he and I ever 1 on 1ed, the evidence would say otherwise.
That's not even close to being related to the subject matter. Confidence is mental and self assurance. How can you not choose to be that. The "evidence" backs my notion every time. Unless you're saying I can't choose to think a certain way. Which makes zero sense.
Originally Posted By ramimotemem⏩
100%

I can walk in to some random class room and completely talk out of my ass about the subject. Obviously I wouldn't know what's coming out of my mouth and will look like an idiot, but still with confidence. Or I can do it timidly.

When you walk around the street, you can either look down avoiding eye contact or having a tunnel vision. Or you can have a sick gait, chin up and looking around.

I think it's a 100% up to the person. Fake it till you make it and all.
Exactly. But is it really fake? Who created the boundries of what is real and what is fake confidence? Is it not a skill?
Originally Posted By Omnivium⏩
Fake confidence is a choice

Real confidence comes from experience and success
Define real and fake confidence.

[/QUOTE]
post 1621904821 11-07-2020, 07:40 PM
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Just walk up to her and say hi bro just be confident bro
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post 1621904991 11-07-2020, 07:42 PM
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To a degree. Confidence can be shaped, grown, increased through hard work and effort.
People who think they can just fake confidence are clueless.
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post 1621905131 11-07-2020, 07:43 PM
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Originally Posted By Crazy_Desi⏩
it's not a choice. confidence is based off a continuous feedback loop.

let's say, you put a 10/10 guy in front of 20 8/10 girls. his typical routine is to hit on each one and he gets a lay. let's say he goes through all 20 and they brutally reject him. his confidence will plummet. no matter how innately confident he is, if he keeps getting rejected his self belief will dwindle.



another example:

let's say you have a buff guy. he normally acts very charismatic, leader of the people, etc, and people look up to him because he has the stature to back it up. now let's say one day he wakes up and goes about his day, but now nobody respects him. nobody is intimidated by him, and nobody looks up to him despite his stature. his confidence would plummet.
Both of those examples aren't choices.

Some of you guys are missing the point. You guys are basing the assumption that confidence is based around things like social interaction, women, and others actions and thoughts.

Confidence will only plummet if you allow it. You can choose to be confident still in both of those situations. I can actively choose to believe the opinions of 20 8/10 females of me means nothing, and continue to be confident.
post 1621905391 11-07-2020, 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted By backinthegymbro⏩
To a degree. Confidence can be shaped, grown, increased through hard work and effort.
People who think they can just fake confidence are clueless.
What's fake confidence? I agree with your first part, but confidence is confidence.

Who says you have to be 245lbs shredded 8%bf to be confident?
Who says you have to have money to be confident? Or tall to be confident?

Choosing confidence directly correlates with defying others opinions on it. SELF-assurance.
post 1621905621 11-07-2020, 07:47 PM
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Confidence is all about environment and success

The better the environment suits you and the more social success you have the more confident you are
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post 1621905651 11-07-2020, 07:47 PM
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Originally Posted By FrankGrimes29⏩
That's not even close to being related to the subject matter. Confidence is mental and self assurance. How can you not choose to be that. The "evidence" backs my notion every time. Unless you're saying I can't choose to think a certain way. Which makes zero sense.
I can choose to think I can dunk on Bron. What difference does it make? I can't dunk on Bron. If I act like I can dunk on Bron, people will see me as a fool.

Like Omnivium says: confidence comes from experience and success. You've done something. You know you can do something. You can do it again. It's not "choosing" to groundlessly gas yourself up, that's just narcissism.
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post 1621905671 11-07-2020, 07:48 PM
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Originally Posted By FA*******⏩
Can you move the milk without spilling it? The evidence says no.

Similarly, I canchooseto think I can dunk over LeBron James at 5'7", but if he and I ever 1 on 1ed, the evidence would say otherwise.
Yes, that would bechoosingto believe something false, lol. I don’t recommend that choice bud. Let me ask you this, are you confident in the post you just made? Did you not choose to have confidence in it? Even if it may or may not be correct?
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post 1621905701 11-07-2020, 07:48 PM
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Originally Posted By FrankGrimes29⏩
Exactly. But is it really fake? Who created the boundries of what is real and what is fake confidence? Is it not a skill?
That's a good way to look at it and I never thought about it. It really is like a skill, that you keep doing until it becomes natural, like with any physical skill and muscle memory.

You can compare it to shooting a bow for the first time vs the 10 000th time. At first it feels awkward and might take some time from the draw of the arrow from the quiver to the release onto the target. But with enough practice it can take less than 5 seconds.

You can compare it to any skill, that's just the first one that popped in my head.
post 1621905821 11-07-2020, 07:49 PM
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Crippling depression kills confidence.

Srs
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post 1621905921 11-07-2020, 07:49 PM
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Originally Posted By JaymzJ⏩
Yes, that would bechoosingto believe something false, lol. I don’t recommend that choice bud. Let me ask you this, are you confident in the post you just made? Did you not choose to have confidence in it? Even if it may or may not be correct?
Where does true and false come in? We'rechoosingtobelievethings.
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post 1621906111 11-07-2020, 07:51 PM
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Originally Posted By Ironface⏩
Crippling depression kills confidence.

Srs
@OP: On the subject of thinking of it as a skill

A mental injury (depression) kills a mental skill (confidence)

Similar to a physical injury will kill a physical skill
post 1621906171 11-07-2020, 07:51 PM
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Unfounded confidence is called delusion. You can definitely choose to be delusional, although it comes naturally to some people
post 1621906181 11-07-2020, 07:51 PM
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Originally Posted By FA*******⏩
Where does true and false come in? We'rechoosingtobelievethings.
Which is different than choosing to have confidence or not.
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