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Forum » What do you think is 'fair'?
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Thread: What do you think is 'fair'?

post 1622905681 11-17-2020, 02:37 PM
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Originally Posted By TypeNirvash⏩
Keep it at 50% and don't deviate. That's some bad girlfriend type chit.

Nah, the dude agreed to pay $500 for the mortgage on day 1, and both agreed on it. Its a questionable choice by the dude but he made it, its his choice so whatever, pussy is pussy.

Its a kunt move to change the original agreement though, its shady as fuk, thats why i say the dude should still be paying 500 bucks. Thats what he agreed on the very first day, he thought "ok i can pay 500 to live with this sloot", but changing the terms when they are in the home its an ******* move IMO.


Imagine hypothetically someone pays off OP's mortgage, maybe its a gift from heaven who cares, but it happens. You think shes going to suddenly let this guy live for free on her house? Really doubt it.


Plenty of **** can change, so they should just stick to the OG arrangement. Pay 500 bucks to live here and thats it
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post 1622905781 11-17-2020, 02:37 PM
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It looks like, "Common Law" in Texas is pretty straight forward and has nothing to do with the living arrangement.

A quick google search.
What is Common Law Marriage?
Common law marriage, also known as marriage without formalities or informal marriage, is a valid and legal way for a couple to marry in Texas. Texas law states that a common law marriage may be proved by evidence that the couple:

“agreed to be married”; and
“after the agreement they lived together in this state as husband and wife”; and they
“represented to others that they were married”
Note: The language above is quoting directly from the Texas statutes. The Texas Legislature has not yet amended the statutory language since the Supreme Court's decision in Obergefell v. Hodges [PDF], but despite that, same-sex common law marriages are now recognized in Texas. See the resources below to learn more about common law marriage in Texas.
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post 1622905801 11-17-2020, 02:38 PM
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Originally Posted By DizzySmalls⏩
Dudes getting a discount over his opportunity cost. He has to live somewhere. How is that not beneficial to his self-interest?

If he wants to own a house, he should buy his own or breakup with the girl when she doesn't want him in on the equity
Why think of it as a discount if it’s a romantic partner? He’s not just some renter. I’d think she’d be elated and happy to offer this to a significant other because it mutually benefits BOTH. If he wasn’t there, she’d be paying it all. It just sounds like strictly business...not a relationship.
post 1622905811 11-17-2020, 02:38 PM
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Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
BRB, moving to NC.

Aptly named state.



As indicated in this thread, sounds like you didn't "opt to buy on your own". You opted to buy in your name, but someone else paying for half of it.
It would be retarded to buy a house with your bf/gf if you aren't married or engaged. The whole point of not being married is so you aren't tied to that person financially or legally
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post 1622905841 11-17-2020, 02:38 PM
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Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
All these questions have been answered in this thread already. Person B is paying in since day one.
I see.


Well in that case, person B is just a moron. They're the idiot who agreed to pay a significant portion of someone else's mortgage/bills when buying a new house with them but letting person A have 100% of the legal ownership of the house.

But if OP as person A wants to be nice to person B in this situation. She should have him pay like 20% of the mortgage plus split the costs of utilities and chit like that. I agree that in that particular situation, expecting 50% is unreasonable without giving person B a financial stake in the house. Person B is still a fool to have agreed to that arrangement in the first place, though. Totally different from paying rent to someone who owned the home years before the new person moved in.
post 1622905911 11-17-2020, 02:38 PM
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Originally Posted By TypeNirvash⏩
I love you brah, but relationships aren't financial transactions and you have to understand that to get the idea we're trying to put forth

It's not a deal, you're paying somebody else's equity. You know that equity increases in value over time. You're getting FUKT.
I'm getting fukt by my landlord. I think this is more of a personal thing. Comingling of assets and money happens when comingling of last names happens. They are roommates until then, to me.

Now I can't speak to relationships directly but this is how everyone in my immediate family handled it.
post 1622905931 11-17-2020, 02:39 PM
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Originally Posted By supup⏩
Stay at 500$ that's what you agreed to pay in rent, that's your rent. You are still getting the same value, living in same place. Owner of home has to handle their own financial ****, you're just a rentcel
This.

It should stay at whatever the agreed upon $ is. Doesn't matter if he refi's to a 10 and payment goes up a **** ton or he refi's 30 and it goes way down. The rent $ should be completely independent from what the mortgage $ is, that means nothing.
post 1622906181 11-17-2020, 02:42 PM
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Originally Posted By Ken-O⏩
Nah, the dude agreed to pay $500 for the mortgage on day 1, and both agreed on it. Its a questionable choice by the dude but he made it, its his choice so whatever, pussy is pussy.

Its a kunt move to change the original agreement though, its shady as fuk, thats why i say the dude should still be paying 500 bucks. Thats what he agreed on the very first day, he thought "ok i can pay 500 to live with this sloot", but changing the terms when they are in the home its an ******* move IMO.


Imagine hypothetically someone pays off OP's mortgage, maybe its a gift from heaven who cares, but it happens. You think shes going to suddenly let this guy live for free on her house? Really doubt it.


Plenty of **** can change, so they should just stick to the OG arrangement. Pay 500 bucks to live here and thats it
Original agreement was 50% of mortgage btw, $500 was presented as a hypothetical. We do not have the exact amount.

We keep getting stuck on this number, it was made up to help conceptualize the issue.

I agree he was stupid for paying equity into a home he doesn't own.
post 1622906191 11-17-2020, 02:42 PM
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Originally Posted By JUGGERNAUT1333⏩
Logic right here, but like Don and myself both said, there are a lot of variables in this equation we don't know....namely the length of the relationship, seriousness, income disparity between you two, ect.
You must spread some reputation around before givint it to Juggernatu13......
post 1622906401 11-17-2020, 02:44 PM
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Originally Posted By northernlights7⏩
I see.


Well in that case, person B is just a moron. They're the idiot who agreed to pay a significant portion of someone else's mortgage/bills when buying a new house with them but letting person A have 100% of the legal ownership of the house.

But if OP as person A wants to be nice to person B in this situation. She should have him pay like 20% of the mortgage plus split the costs of utilities and chit like that. I agree that in that particular situation, expecting 50% is unreasonable without giving person B a financial stake in the house. Person B is still a fool to have agreed to that arrangement in the first place, though. Totally different from paying rent to someone who owned the home years before the new person moved in.
But there’s no obligations for person B though right? That’s gotta count for something. He could literally walk away with no legal obligation to pay and no harm to his credit and leave the home owner with 100% of the mortgage.
post 1622906411 11-17-2020, 02:44 PM
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Originally Posted By homers54321⏩
cliffs?
Lmao this
Not in the AM
post 1622906451 11-17-2020, 02:45 PM
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Originally Posted By DizzySmalls⏩
I'm getting fukt by my landlord. I think this is more of a personal thing. Comingling of assets and money happens when comingling of last names happens. They are roommates until then, to me.

Now I can't speak to relationships directly but this is how everyone in my immediate family handled it.
IMO, roomates are not the same as relationship partners.

One of my buddies keeps trying to float this idea at me. He goes "I'll take out a loan and you just pay the mortgage."

lmfao no, that's ridiculous. I will buy my own house, I'm not buying you a home.
post 1622906491 11-17-2020, 02:45 PM
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Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
Person B being a simp confirmed.

What's wrong with Person A being a responsible adult and paying their own financial obligations?

I mean, I don't even understand what is the question here.

Bolded is the part that answers the question in OP. It's not $500, it's 50%.
Whew! Glad it's me he's simping for then and not someone else.I'm fully capable of paying my own financial obligates. So you would expect me to have him live for free? Is... that what is it? Don't know why it's such a big deal that someone pays half of the mortgage like they wanted to when it's WAY below market value anywhere else? To be honest it would be pretty crappy of me to charge him 'market rate' like others suggest on here.

So you agree 50% it is - regardless of whichever way the refi swings. Thanks for playing.
Originally Posted By TypeNirvash⏩
Cool so why make it a business transaction between you two? Bro clearly acknowledges that he wanted to look out foryou, but it don't seem like you're looking out for him.

Keep it at 50% and don't deviate. That's some bad girlfriend type chit.
So.. lets say your cost of living is normally $1k... but by living with me it goes down to $400... how does that NOT benefit the hypothetical 'you'?

So now that I decide to refi bc I want to put money elsewhere you want your cost of living to go down to $200? Half of what you previously paid if I choose the 30 yr route?

Then on the other hand if I decide to go the 15 yr route... you go from paying 400 to 600? MORE towards a home you don't have your name on? Bc that's 50%.
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post 1622906511 11-17-2020, 02:45 PM
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Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
So I tend to look at things from a business stand point. It's just my default. Which I think in turn hurts his feelings and pisses him off.

If he were to live where he lives now he would pay significantly more elsewhere than what he is paying 'towards' my mortgage even at half. I have a lot of equity in the house that I paid into myself before he ever made any 'rent' payments to me.

So in the scenario IF I refi for 30 years with a lower payment and in turn lowering his payment to whatever 'half' of that turns out to be. It's pretty stinking cheap in turn is an even bigger homie discount. So that's why he feels that I would be 'making money off him' if I kept him at the 'hypothetical 500' mark if I went the 30 yr route.

Keep in mind. He is also not opposed to paying half of the higher amount. Even though I told him I would pick up the difference if I went the higher amount and he got offended that I would even think I'd have to pick up the difference.




If I figured out a 'reasonable' market rate value to charge B for the area. He would be paying more than what he's paying now.
Charging him more may be fair then imo, though I did mean to imply some flexibility in my "generous" comment; i.e., apply some multiplier X% to the market rate, so if the market rate is $600, well, he's your partner; you're not trying to profit off him, so maybe something like 80%*$600=$480 is fair. Charging full price definitely isn't the move as 1) he's your friend/partner of some sort and 2) you're better off with him, so it'd be pretty silly to charge a rate "exactly competitive" with the market, as there's no real economic benefit for him to cooperate with you.

I can see people sharing his opinions about paying half regardless, but I think they're pretty dumb and emotional opinions. You' two are paying for two different things: he's paying for a place to live, you're paying for equity, which INCLUDES a place to live. For that reason, imo, his rate should be in terms of the cost of a place to live, not in terms of the cost of equity.

To me, kinda feels like arguing with someone over splitting dinner when I got a steak, and they got a burger.
post 1622906651 11-17-2020, 02:47 PM
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Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
The fact that $500 was chosen as the hypothetical value means it is most likely under a thousand.
True, but $500 just makes it sound like a sweetheart deal

I mean, nobody's paying $500 rent. $900-$1000? Sure I see that. But you can get that deal outside of an arrangement like this.
post 1622906691 11-17-2020, 02:47 PM
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Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
lmao ya'll are adorable.

He encouraged me to purchase the house on my own to build equity when I decided I didn't want to buy with him and offered to pay half my mortgage fully knowing that it would be cheaper than renting anything close to it. I paid a very high % down on the home so that the 'mortgage' is cheap.


To those wondering - yes there is common law in Texas. No I'm not worried. That would be very out of character for him. Also he has just as much to lose as I do if he wanted to go down that ugly route.
So who is actually richer.

I think it would be hot having a sloot paying me alimony or taking half her house. Maybe then they will campaign for changes in spousal laws lmao
post 1622906721 11-17-2020, 02:47 PM
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Originally Posted By TypeNirvash⏩
IMO, roomates are not the same as relationship partners.

One of my buddies keeps trying to float this idea at me. He goes "I'll take out a loan and you just pay the mortgage."

lmfao no, that's ridiculous. I will buy my own house, I'm not buying you a home.
Renting is so ****ty and finding roommates is so hard, I've offered multiple people to pay rent towards their mortgage. It's not like I'm about to start living in my car otherwise. It's a landlord, or an individual with a house, or a mortgage lender. They are substitutes

I don't want to buy a house because then I'll be trapped here. Penalty for flexibility and mobility
post 1622906991 11-17-2020, 02:50 PM
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Originally Posted By TypeNirvash⏩
Original agreement was 50% of mortgage btw, $500 was presented as a hypothetical. We do not have the exact amount.

We keep getting stuck on this number, it was made up to help conceptualize the issue.

I agree he was stupid for paying equity into a home he doesn't own.
Yeah i know 500 its just OPs numbers for explanation's sake, im using the same number to put my point across (is that a saying? lol)


Anyway, yes, 500 dollars its half the mortgage, or its 50% of it. You are correct, however 50% amounts to the 500 dollars, and its only when this number got revealed, that person B decided to "go with it" and pay those 500.

Its not like OP said "hey you want to pay 50% of my mortgage if i buy a new house?" and the guy was just like "yeah thats fine". Guy wouldnt agree to that without knowing the amount first, imagine if it was a mansion or something. Yes i know its extreme and OP wouldnt buy a mansion, but im just making a point.


So clearly, before they agreed on it, OP went with person B and was like "listen everything is ready you are going to pay 500 dollars every month which is half of the mortgage is that ok with you?" and the guy said "yes". Those are the few facts we know btw


Person B didnt agree to paying 50% of whatever the mortgage is at any given time. Person B agreed to pay 50% WHICH equals to 500 dollars. Both variables are TIED together, 50%=500 dollars.

Person B agreed to pay both 50% and 500 dollars. Feels weird to separate the two variables when they are the same quantity, but its not as weird when you realize theres a person chaning one of the variables which throws away the whole original agreement.





Whats fair? Keep charging person B the same. OP, if you decided to lower the mortgage to $300 and suddenly person B started giving you **** about wanting to pay only $150, would that be ok with you? Of course not


Keep the same arragement, 500 bucks
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post 1622907061 11-17-2020, 02:51 PM
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Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
Whew! Glad it's me he's simping for then and not someone else.I'm fully capable of paying my own financial obligates. So you would expect me to have him live for free? Is... that what is it? Don't know why it's such a big deal that someone pays half of the mortgage like they wanted to when it's WAY below market value anywhere else? To be honest it would be pretty crappy of me to charge him 'market rate' like others suggest on here.

So you agree 50% it is - regardless of whichever way the refi swings. Thanks for playing.



So.. lets say your cost of living is normally $1k... but by living with me it goes down to $400... how does that NOT benefit the hypothetical 'you'?

So now that I decide to refi bc I want to put money elsewhere you want your cost of living to go down to $200? Half of what you previously paid if I choose the 30 yr route?

Then on the other hand if I decide to go the 15 yr route... you go from paying 400 to 600? MORE towards a home you don't have your name on? Bc that's 50%.
I suggested "market rate"less romance discount(however much you decide)

Ie. Just a fixed value regardless of the mortgage plan.





It's not OP profiteering. It's person B paying an agreed and fixed "living cost". LOL at saying he should live for free or get equity. Separate his CoL from the mortgage.
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post 1622907231 11-17-2020, 02:52 PM
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Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
So.. lets say your cost of living is normally $1k... but by living with me it goes down to $400... how does that NOT benefit the hypothetical 'you'?

So now that I decide to refi bc I want to put money elsewhere you want your cost of living to go down to $200? Half of what you previously paid if I choose the 30 yr route?

Then on the other hand if I decide to go the 15 yr route... you go from paying 400 to 600? MORE towards a home you don't have your name on? Bc that's 50%.
50% is 50%. Up or Down.

But since he's paying 50% you should factor his opinion into this.

The agreement was the agreement, regardless of if he benefits more greatly or less greatly. However, you should give him some sort of say in this because he was willing to pay your equity instead of living on his own.
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Originally Posted By TallTigerTwo⏩
But there’s no obligations for person B though right? That’s gotta count for something. He could literally walk away with no legal obligation to pay and no harm to his credit and leave the home owner with 100% of the mortgage.
No obligation. He can move his crap out tomorrow and I'm perfectly fine paying my bills.

Both of you fail to note that person B benefits by significant lower cost of living even with paying half of the 'mortgage'. It's still significantly cheaper than living by himself which is WHY he originally agreed to this to begin with. Trust me - he knew that he benefited from it too. Don't be mistaken.
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What are the chances this dude even cares about the money vs. the obvious fact that his girlfriend wants nothing to do with him in her future.

Although, he shouldn't have moved in in the scenario that he wanted to buy a house and OP refused. He should have lived by himself until both were ready to move forward on the same page
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Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
The guy agreed to pay for half, not $500.
I know. I was prescribing not describing.
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if you agreed at 500 and arent married and having the home together, then stay at 500

Seems pretty chintzy to up the rent cause you decided to refinance
Great MAGA King status

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Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
The guy agreed to pay for half, not $500.
He agreed to both. 50% of the mortgage at the time of the deal was 500 bucks.

Its not like he blindly agreed to 50% without knowing the quantity of what he was agreeing to.
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Originally Posted By DizzySmalls⏩
What are the chances this dude even cares about the money vs. the obvious fact that his girlfriend wants nothing to do with him in her future.

Although, he shouldn't have moved in in the scenario that he wanted to buy a house and OP refused. He should have lived by himself until both were ready to move forward on the same page
that's kind of what I have been getting at this whole time
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Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
Nevertheless, he agreed to 50%.

I do hope he gets out of this obviously toxic relationship.

But chances are, he won't, based on his actions so far.
I mean look at that Avi, if he wasn't simping somebody else assuredly will be. Women cost money. This dude is trying to get free rent out of it to make up for him cucking himself on the arrangement.
post 1622908601 11-17-2020, 03:06 PM
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#148
  1. littlemissy
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Originally Posted By TypeNirvash⏩
50% is 50%. Up or Down.

But since he's paying 50% you should factor his opinion into this.

The agreement was the agreement, regardless of if he benefits more greatly or less greatly. However, you should give him some sort of say in this because he was willing to pay your equity instead of living on his own.
Oh he's in this whole process. It's not a secret I'm keeping from him.
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post 1622908841 11-17-2020, 03:08 PM
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#149
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Originally Posted By Ken-O⏩
He agreed to both. 50% of the mortgage at the time of the deal was 500 bucks.

Its not like he blindly agreed to 50% without knowing the quantity of what he was agreeing to.
The point is that up or down, 50% should remain the deal. It shouldn't be him ever paying more than what the mortgage is just because he is "used" to paying more.

Same thing if it goes up.

One key thing we're not even discussing is that OP collects equity on this, which will continually increase in value. The guy in question offered to commingle funds and she went "Nah, I'm just going to put the loan in my name." to which he obliged and they made the deal to go 50/50.

So... Yeah, he's an idiot for taking this deal. But it didn't have to get this complicated. She's the one making it complicated. It's not a roommate, it's a long term boyfriend.
post 1622908851 11-17-2020, 03:09 PM
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#150
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Maybe I'm simple minded, but is it really that complex?

OP, this is someone you care about, yeah? Why not just lower his contributions to make him more comfortable with the situation and not feel like you're using him? It doesn't sound like money is tight on your end either, so what's a few hundred bucks a month to avoid this headache? It'll be money you have to shell out anyway if he isn't living there.
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