Thread: What do you think is 'fair'?
11-17-2020, 03:47 PM
-
#181
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
-
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
- Join Date: May 2012
- Location: United States
- Posts: 23,894
- Rep Power: 82068
-
-
Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
Technically yes. But who formalizes these sorts of things among close peers? Ive got a payday loan out to someone right now without any paper trail. The interest rate is probably illegal and usurious if calculated. But it's not really interest is it, he owed me for a favor or something.If you don't adjust for the relationship, then it's considered a tenancy, and landlord/tenant laws apply.
Too bad for OP, I guess.
Imagine wrecking your relationship over trying to get $150/month out of someone.
Too bad for OP, I guess.
Imagine wrecking your relationship over trying to get $150/month out of someone.
11-17-2020, 03:50 PM
-
#182
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
-
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
- Join Date: May 2012
- Location: United States
- Posts: 23,894
- Rep Power: 82068
-
-
Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
Free exchange never required a man with a gun to enforce. I'm borderline anarchist, I'm not obsessed with rules and regulations like you are and don't see the value in this context.And someone more morally corrupt than the OP appears. Seriously dude, this is what you're bolstering your argument with?
11-17-2020, 03:51 PM
-
#183
- TypeNirvash
- World Warrior
-
- TypeNirvash
- World Warrior
- Join Date: Aug 2012
- Posts: 23,195
- Rep Power: 26070
-
-
Originally Posted By northernlights7⏩
The boyfriend is the financial cuckold in a situation where he is paying equity into a mortgage that he offered to be on but she told him no.You are essentially arguing that one person should agree to be a financial cuckold in a relationship and be happy with it. How is that a good foundation for a healthy relationship?
If you are renting at all, you're a financial cuck unfortunately
But imagine getting financially cucked by your own relationship partner
11-17-2020, 03:54 PM
-
#184
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
-
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
- Join Date: May 2012
- Location: United States
- Posts: 23,894
- Rep Power: 82068
-
-
Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
The morality of him being uncreditworthy on paper and wanting to borrow money? I'm not making a loan at a normal rate of interest because that's not at all a risk profile that is worth it to me. He wants to throw out what is essentially 800% for a short period of time, I'm willing. If he doesn't want to, he doesn't offer and I don't need to engage in any transaction whatsoever.Re-read what I posted, I am not questioning the rules and regulations in your case, I am questioning the morals behind it.
He's well off enough in terms of income that it's a deal he freely enters into. I'm not about to say no because I can't paper it to satisfy the government.
You should have that misc **** send me a PS5 for being a heartless capitalist pig instead of you lol
11-17-2020, 03:58 PM
-
#185
- TypeNirvash
- World Warrior
-
- TypeNirvash
- World Warrior
- Join Date: Aug 2012
- Posts: 23,195
- Rep Power: 26070
-
-
Originally Posted By DizzySmalls⏩
boyo don't loan shark peopleThe morality of him being uncreditworthy on paper and wanting to borrow money? I'm not making a loan at a normal rate of interest because that's not at all a risk profile that is worth it to me. He wants to throw out what is essentially 800% for a short period of time, I'm willing. If he doesn't want to, he doesn't offer and I don't need to engage in any transaction whatsoever.
He's well off enough in terms of income that it's a deal he freely enters into. I'm not about to say no because I can't paper it to satisfy the government.
You should have that misc **** send me a PS5 for being a heartless capitalist pig instead of you lol
He's well off enough in terms of income that it's a deal he freely enters into. I'm not about to say no because I can't paper it to satisfy the government.
You should have that misc **** send me a PS5 for being a heartless capitalist pig instead of you lol
I read this a few times before I figured out what you meant and then I was surprised that you were doing it
11-17-2020, 04:02 PM
-
#186
- TallTigerTwo
- Registered User
-
- TallTigerTwo
- Registered User
- Join Date: Oct 2020
- Age: 56
- Posts: 7,418
- Rep Power: 73525
-
-
Originally Posted By wutevs⏩
See, I’d hope my partner would, at the very least, approach this from your perspective. It just sounds like a caring partner who is willing to sacrifice just to be in this relationship. Of course, as a responsible adult, I would insist on splitting the costs to help my partner out.Yeah, at the end of the day, the house is yours. If it were me, I would prob ask the bf to pay utility bills while I worry about the mortgage from the start. I tend to lean more towards the emotional aspect of this though and not the business transaction mindset. I think if you're both making good money, some give and take needs to take place before this gets ugly/out of hand. Sounds like you two are pretty set in your views though. So hell, maybe just don't refi and end this convo altogether. But doing so will only mean that you both don't care enough about the other to compromise on this, so it may be time to reeval the relationship.
The OP sounds like others have suggested, too transactional. And it’s not even what OPs is getting in return from her partner...it’s what’s fair for the ‘market’ and has nothing to do with the relationship. It doesn’t sound like the healthy beginnings of a relationship. It may seem responsible in a business sense to squeeze as much as you can out of a person, but not as a significant other.
11-17-2020, 04:03 PM
-
#187
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
-
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
- Join Date: May 2012
- Location: United States
- Posts: 23,894
- Rep Power: 82068
-
-
Originally Posted By TypeNirvash⏩
In your world view, the brah can't borrow from anyone and misses a payment and his wifey probably flips **** on him and potentially leaves him. Why should I turn him down when he is happy for the service and I'm happy for the profit? It's not like he offers some ridiculously high amount and I stick him for the extra because he's desperate. His initial offers are always juicy af, taking it 1000/1000 times. If he doesn't ever pay me back that's the risk I tookboyo don't loan shark people
I read this a few times before I figured out what you meant and then I was surprised that you were doing it
I read this a few times before I figured out what you meant and then I was surprised that you were doing it
My only point relative to this thread was that you don't need a legal document to make an arrangement with someone. It just alters your recourse if you can't work with the person without outside force involved
11-17-2020, 04:11 PM
-
#188
- littlemissy
- Practicing Safe Sets
-
- littlemissy
- Practicing Safe Sets
- Join Date: Apr 2012
- Location: Texas, United States
- Posts: 4,211
- Rep Power: 89259
-
-
Originally Posted By DizzySmalls⏩
I appreciate your posts. You get me.Conversely, it's not worth it to OP to have a free-riding roommate that she doesn't feel committed enough to to buy a house with, which seems perfectly fair to me.
I wanted to own my own, I had things that I wanted to say that I did myself. The way I phrased it to him was - if he had a daughter and she said she can either buy an excessively large house with her bf or get one on her own. What would his answer to her be? Since I was able to get one on my own. I wanted to do that and he understood.
Originally Posted By Phobaphobia⏩
Good post. I didn't look at it this way before.Do you see the relationship going the distance?
If YES: if you refinanced for higher monthly payments, keep his rent the same (unless you are hurting for cash, in which case you should discuss this with him). If you refinanced for lower payments, lower his rent (maybe something between $500 and $250?)
If NO: raise his rent/keep it the same.
It's that simple.
If YES: if you refinanced for higher monthly payments, keep his rent the same (unless you are hurting for cash, in which case you should discuss this with him). If you refinanced for lower payments, lower his rent (maybe something between $500 and $250?)
If NO: raise his rent/keep it the same.
It's that simple.
Originally Posted By MuzzieChik786⏩
Literally if I was person B I would be getting a massive reaming right now. He's a good guy we just look at things differently when it comes to $. He's a spender and I'm a saver (at least compared to him).Mind = blown how many of you think homie doesn't need to pay for chit for living with opie. lmao.
They're not married and he's benefiting by lower living costs by cohabitating.
^^ This right here. Read it again weirdos.
If the shoe was on the other foot, all you miscers would be like "why isn't she paying rent?!?!"
They're not married and he's benefiting by lower living costs by cohabitating.
^^ This right here. Read it again weirdos.
If the shoe was on the other foot, all you miscers would be like "why isn't she paying rent?!?!"
Originally Posted By TypeNirvash⏩
It's a personality thing. You're right and I can understand that's why he's upset too because I'm looking at it not from a 'partnership' prospective. However I have always been this way. When I lived with him prior I paid for half of everything and not a cent less. Vacations? Half. Fully knowing that he makes a ton more than me and I do not expect him to pay 'more'. I want to carry my own and I don't want anyone to be able to say they have something 'over me'. So I've always been the type of person to pay my own way. So my default reaction to anything is to look at it as transactional. He knows this about me and I'm sure it still pisses him off.I mean, look, I'm giving you crap about this because you're treating your relationship transactionally.
That's not a move that somebody looking to build a future with another person interacts with them.
It's weird that you would even try to look at it this way, and the fact that he responded the way he did sounds like it was because you're thinking about it in a way that benefits you the most and not what would benefit both of you.
That's not a partnership.
That's not a move that somebody looking to build a future with another person interacts with them.
It's weird that you would even try to look at it this way, and the fact that he responded the way he did sounds like it was because you're thinking about it in a way that benefits you the most and not what would benefit both of you.
That's not a partnership.
Originally Posted By donblaximus⏩
I didn't think it was a big deal either honestly until he got mad at me. I'm sure we'll talk it out and we'll come to something where both of us agree makes sense. I haven't signed any papers yet.You should seriously consider ending the relationship now. If you cant get through something as small as this, it only gets exponentially harder.
R 1 35
L├┼┤
2 4 6
"No Pecs No Secks, Can't do a curl - won't get a girl" - Chengman
11-17-2020, 04:14 PM
-
#189
op just do the shorter term w/higher payment if you want to pay the house off in 5 years. present it to your SO as being about your own priorities re:security and ask him to continue to pay the same amount. he can pay you more if he wants, but i wouldn't ask for it.
alternately do the refi for whatever term and move out of the house making it a rental property w/tenants paying the mortgage and create some other living arrangement with your SO.
i do think that if you wanted to refi and are determined to keep your finances separate that it probably would have been better to just keep it to yourself and not change what he pays in. it doesn't sound like he needs financial support from you, just that you need financial independence.
alternately do the refi for whatever term and move out of the house making it a rental property w/tenants paying the mortgage and create some other living arrangement with your SO.
i do think that if you wanted to refi and are determined to keep your finances separate that it probably would have been better to just keep it to yourself and not change what he pays in. it doesn't sound like he needs financial support from you, just that you need financial independence.
INTP Crew
Inattentive ADD Crew
Mom That Miscs Crew
11-17-2020, 04:19 PM
-
#190
- Brosnbroccoli
- Registered User
-
- Brosnbroccoli
- Registered User
- Join Date: Feb 2012
- Age: 31
- Posts: 7,896
- Rep Power: 21152
-
-
Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
In my mind it’s naive to think his version of the story is the same as the one you’re telling. If it was really true, you would have no issues.I wanted to own my own, I had things that I wanted to say that I did myself. The way I phrased it to him was - if he had a daughter and she said she can either buy an excessively large house with her bf or get one on her own. What would his answer to her be? Since I was able to get one on my own. I wanted to do that and he understood.
Real Madrid, Miami Heat, New York Jets.
11-17-2020, 04:24 PM
-
#191
- MuzzieChik786
- Registered User
-
- MuzzieChik786
- Registered User
- Join Date: Nov 2013
- Posts: 28,332
- Rep Power: 273734
-
-
Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
How's it morally corrupt?! They're not married!! Lol.You're missing the point though.
This has nothing to do ( in my eyes at least ), about who pays what or how much they pay.
I am questioning the entire premise behind this thread - which in my eyes is morally corrupt.
To treat this situation as "transactional", which it clearly isn't, is nothing short of that.
This has nothing to do ( in my eyes at least ), about who pays what or how much they pay.
I am questioning the entire premise behind this thread - which in my eyes is morally corrupt.
To treat this situation as "transactional", which it clearly isn't, is nothing short of that.
Dude is totally taking advantage of her BECAUSE of this:
Originally Posted By northernlights7⏩
Remember, dude isn't even paying half the home bills. He's paying less than half the mortgage only and getting the benefit of a full homeowner from Opie.This is a valid point.
Let's say a mortgage a home owner had was $1,000 / month. They decide to rent the place out. How much combined money do you think the landlord would expect from the tenants to rent that entire house? Probably like $1,500 /month plus most/all of the utility bills.
That means that in a hypothetical like OP's, the partner paying rent to live with their romantic partner who owns the house is already paying like $1k less per month in rent to live with their romantic partner in that house than they would be paying a landlord to let them rent it to themselves. Paying just half of the mortgage is a hell of a deal on rent when you think of it like that. Even where I live where cost of living isn't very expensive, you'd be lucky to net a crappy one bedroom/studio apartment for $500 /mo in rent.So paying 50% of a mortage amounting anywhere close to $500 /mo to live in a nice house with someone that bangs you would be a hell of a deal.
Let's say a mortgage a home owner had was $1,000 / month. They decide to rent the place out. How much combined money do you think the landlord would expect from the tenants to rent that entire house? Probably like $1,500 /month plus most/all of the utility bills.
That means that in a hypothetical like OP's, the partner paying rent to live with their romantic partner who owns the house is already paying like $1k less per month in rent to live with their romantic partner in that house than they would be paying a landlord to let them rent it to themselves. Paying just half of the mortgage is a hell of a deal on rent when you think of it like that. Even where I live where cost of living isn't very expensive, you'd be lucky to net a crappy one bedroom/studio apartment for $500 /mo in rent.So paying 50% of a mortage amounting anywhere close to $500 /mo to live in a nice house with someone that bangs you would be a hell of a deal.
Now, if they were married or in a scenario where he's paying the bills and/or physically putting in effort to maintain the home (yard work, repairs, etc.) then I would say okay, she shouldn't be charging him. But this dude seems to be getting a sweet azz deal living with opie.
He'd be paying 3x more if he was out on his own.
Thus let me live, unseen, unknown;
Thus unlamented let me die;
Steal from the world, and not a stone
Tell where I lie.
2/17/15 - Dunk Tank Results: 15% bf (Omron said 18.6%) - 123.4 lbs LBM
11-17-2020, 04:25 PM
-
#192
Originally Posted By katya422⏩
she already said she views this as a business transaction and they just started this relationship lmaoop just do the shorter term w/higher payment if you want to pay the house off in 5 years. present it to your SO as being about your own priorities re:security and ask him to continue to pay the same amount. he can pay you more if he wants, but i wouldn't ask for it.
alternately do the refi for whatever term and move out of the house making it a rental property w/tenants paying the mortgage and create some other living arrangement with your SO.
i do think that if you wanted to refi and are determined to keep your finances separate that it probably would have been better to just keep it to yourself and not change what he pays in. it doesn't sound like he needs financial support from you, just that you need financial independence.
alternately do the refi for whatever term and move out of the house making it a rental property w/tenants paying the mortgage and create some other living arrangement with your SO.
i do think that if you wanted to refi and are determined to keep your finances separate that it probably would have been better to just keep it to yourself and not change what he pays in. it doesn't sound like he needs financial support from you, just that you need financial independence.
11-17-2020, 04:30 PM
-
#193
- MuzzieChik786
- Registered User
-
- MuzzieChik786
- Registered User
- Join Date: Nov 2013
- Posts: 28,332
- Rep Power: 273734
-
-
Originally Posted By messomi⏩
Let's be real here, relationships today ARE a business transaction when it comes to finances.she already said she views this as a business transaction and they just started this relationship lmao
Anything less means someone is getting screwed.
Husband and I have a mutual understanding that we both need to contribute to the household in equal financial terms even though he's never asked me to pay for anything. However, I ensure the house is clean, his clothing is pressed and ready for work, he gets hot meals AND on top of all that, I also pay half the bills and pay for all the groceries which equals out in the end for his mortgage payment.
The "fair" part is either equal financial responsibility towards the living space OR level of effort equivalent to make up for the difference.
Married or not, my dad taught me to pay my own way. There's no free handouts in today's world.
Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
You're the one who brought up morally corrupt. I disagreed.Read my post again, and please leave emotions out of this.
Dude is living large with this chick. If this was a girl living with a dude, unmarried and living free, you dudes would be up in arms about her living free. lmao.
Thus let me live, unseen, unknown;
Thus unlamented let me die;
Steal from the world, and not a stone
Tell where I lie.
2/17/15 - Dunk Tank Results: 15% bf (Omron said 18.6%) - 123.4 lbs LBM
11-17-2020, 04:32 PM
-
#194
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
-
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
- Join Date: May 2012
- Location: United States
- Posts: 23,894
- Rep Power: 82068
-
-
Originally Posted By MuzzieChik786⏩
There's like zero exceptions on the pork and alcohol right? FukkkLet's be real here, relationships today ARE a business transaction when it comes to finances.
Anything less means someone is getting screwed.
Husband had I have a mutually understanding that we both need to contribute to the household in equal financial terms even though he's never asked me to pay for anything. However, I ensure the house is clean, his clothing is pressed and ready for work, he gets hot meals AND on top of all that, I also pay half the bills and pay for all the groceries which equals out in the end for his mortgage payment.
The "fair" part is either equal financial responsibility towards the living space OR level of effort equivalent to make up for the difference.
Anything less means someone is getting screwed.
Husband had I have a mutually understanding that we both need to contribute to the household in equal financial terms even though he's never asked me to pay for anything. However, I ensure the house is clean, his clothing is pressed and ready for work, he gets hot meals AND on top of all that, I also pay half the bills and pay for all the groceries which equals out in the end for his mortgage payment.
The "fair" part is either equal financial responsibility towards the living space OR level of effort equivalent to make up for the difference.
11-17-2020, 04:32 PM
-
#195
- Acal83
- Registered User
-
- Acal83
- Registered User
- Join Date: May 2006
- Age: 40
- Posts: 6,455
- Rep Power: 33001
-
-
He isn't a renter, he's your boyfriend. He agreed to pay whatever amount and now you want to raise that to pay your house off more expediently... that doesn't concern him as he agreed to pay the stated amount. You're more than welcome to refinance and pay more towards the principle but nothing has changed for him in the arrangement. By that same token if you opt for the longer term you don'thaveto lower his rent but it would be a cool thing to do since he is your boyfriend. Like someone else asked: if it's serious and you're thinking about getting married then I'd probably approach it a bit differently but it doesn't sound like that is the case.
I've got to be honest, I'd probably seriously consider ending the relationship if I were person B and I were asked to pay more so that you could pay your house off quicker regardless of how much money I made. But if I found out you were asking a forum full of random dudes what's "fair" I'd be out by morning.
I've got to be honest, I'd probably seriously consider ending the relationship if I were person B and I were asked to pay more so that you could pay your house off quicker regardless of how much money I made. But if I found out you were asking a forum full of random dudes what's "fair" I'd be out by morning.
11-17-2020, 04:36 PM
-
#196
- littlemissy
- Practicing Safe Sets
-
- littlemissy
- Practicing Safe Sets
- Join Date: Apr 2012
- Location: Texas, United States
- Posts: 4,211
- Rep Power: 89259
-
-
Originally Posted By TallTigerTwo⏩
If by him paying what's already cheap and then wanting to go cheaper if I decide to go the 30 year route - It feels like a slap in my face. So What you're saying is.. I should be happy he's willing to put any $ towards my equity even though he lives there too. My relationship requires my partner to want to put in work too. Not just reap the benefits time and time again bc I've been very responsible with my finances and able to obtain better rates.“But I don't want to feel used either.”
But you’re not being used. You’re benefitting from him paying 50%. That’s 50% back in your pocket for whatever you want to spend it on. I’m failing to see how you’re being used in this instance.
You’re comparing your ‘market value’ to other renters. You’re trying to be in a relationship...not a real estate mogul. This is a very strange point of view.
But you’re not being used. You’re benefitting from him paying 50%. That’s 50% back in your pocket for whatever you want to spend it on. I’m failing to see how you’re being used in this instance.
You’re comparing your ‘market value’ to other renters. You’re trying to be in a relationship...not a real estate mogul. This is a very strange point of view.
Originally Posted By Ken-O⏩
lmao WINNING. Thanks.This is pretty much my logic.
Agreeing to paying 50% of a thousand bucks isnt the same as agreeing to paying 50% of any amount of money. I dont get why are people being so obtuse about this.
"Want to pay half of my mortgage and we live together?"
"Well, whats your mortgage?"
"$1000"
"Yeah i can do that, lets move in"
Thats the deal, at the end of the day person b agreed to pay 500 dollars which it also happens to be 50% of the mortgage. Nothing should change for person B regardless of if it goes up or down
She wont end it becauseshes getting simp dick 3x a week and half her motgage getting paid. Unless Chads come into the picture then nothing is going to change for that relationship.
Agreeing to paying 50% of a thousand bucks isnt the same as agreeing to paying 50% of any amount of money. I dont get why are people being so obtuse about this.
"Want to pay half of my mortgage and we live together?"
"Well, whats your mortgage?"
"$1000"
"Yeah i can do that, lets move in"
Thats the deal, at the end of the day person b agreed to pay 500 dollars which it also happens to be 50% of the mortgage. Nothing should change for person B regardless of if it goes up or down
She wont end it becauseshes getting simp dick 3x a week and half her motgage getting paid. Unless Chads come into the picture then nothing is going to change for that relationship.
Originally Posted By Brosnbroccoli⏩
So... he only offered to buy a large house with me because I couldn't find a house that I wanted in my budget that was going to fit a sand volleyball court and a pool in the backyard. He wanted to give me a backyard court like I've been wanting. He didn't care to purchase a home nor does he care to purchase on now. I entertained the idea for a while since I've been dying to have a home court.Very true. OP can’t look at this as being a landlord, which is seems is the case.
Something very important as well is, that there’s ALWAYS two sides to a story. We’re only hearing OPs point of view, and it wouldfor surebe different if we got the boyfriend story as well.
It confuses me why he didn’t wanna buy a smaller house with you, but wanted to buy a huge house? Especially given he literally makes 3x your income... it sounds like buying a smaller house should be of no concern to him.
Debating which is right/wrong is hard with only one side of the story.
Whats for sure is:
1. OP has to stop looking at it at a landlord point of view.
2. OPs boyfriend obviously has to pay something to live with OP.
Something very important as well is, that there’s ALWAYS two sides to a story. We’re only hearing OPs point of view, and it wouldfor surebe different if we got the boyfriend story as well.
It confuses me why he didn’t wanna buy a smaller house with you, but wanted to buy a huge house? Especially given he literally makes 3x your income... it sounds like buying a smaller house should be of no concern to him.
Debating which is right/wrong is hard with only one side of the story.
Whats for sure is:
1. OP has to stop looking at it at a landlord point of view.
2. OPs boyfriend obviously has to pay something to live with OP.
However at the end of the day. I had personal goals I wanted to meet and I wanted to buy the house on my own and within a budget where I can pay for it on my own if he ever bailed. Again in the reference to another post. I explained to him If your daughter came to you to ask if she should buy a place on her own or with her bf. What would you suggest. He understood and supported me.
We're just going to have to find a middle ground between 1 and 2. At the end of the day this probably just escalated bc of miscommunication.
Originally Posted By DizzySmalls⏩
You get me. It's hard for me to factor in relationship / emotions into situations. And to answer your question earlier. I'm in Austin Tx. House is a 4 bdrm 3 bath, 2 car, sunroom and pool 3k sq ft on a 11k sq ft lot. I'm sure you can figure out that math.There's two clear camps in this thread, both with men and women in them. This is a values thing. If you want the pure mathematics of it with no adjustment for relationship discounts, then OP is dead on correct. If you think that OP should just be paying for the house since she wanted it anyways and anything he pays is a bonus, then you are in a completely different frame of reference where you can't have financial self-interest in a relationship.
For my camp, a house is a long term investment with a contract. A relationship without marriage can be broken off on a whim at any time and has no contract. Don't mix
For my camp, a house is a long term investment with a contract. A relationship without marriage can be broken off on a whim at any time and has no contract. Don't mix
Originally Posted By wutevs⏩
You're sweet. I do like how you really put their feelings into consideration. I'm a business person. Everything is a transaction to me including marriage. I know he secretly hates that about me.Yeah, at the end of the day, the house is yours. If it were me, I would prob ask the bf to pay utility bills while I worry about the mortgage from the start. I tend to lean more towards the emotional aspect of this though and not the business transaction mindset. I think if you're both making good money, some give and take needs to take place before this gets ugly/out of hand. Sounds like you two are pretty set in your views though. So hell, maybe just don't refi and end this convo altogether. But doing so will only mean that you both don't care enough about the other to compromise on this, so it may be time to reeval the relationship.
R 1 35
L├┼┤
2 4 6
"No Pecs No Secks, Can't do a curl - won't get a girl" - Chengman
11-17-2020, 04:45 PM
-
#197
- littlemissy
- Practicing Safe Sets
-
- littlemissy
- Practicing Safe Sets
- Join Date: Apr 2012
- Location: Texas, United States
- Posts: 4,211
- Rep Power: 89259
-
-
Originally Posted By katya422⏩
Thanks for the suggestion. I was looking at duplexes before this but now I'm looking at buying a commercial building which is why I wanted to know my refi options and this is how it all started.op just do the shorter term w/higher payment if you want to pay the house off in 5 years. present it to your SO as being about your own priorities re:security and ask him to continue to pay the same amount. he can pay you more if he wants, but i wouldn't ask for it.
alternately do the refi for whatever term and move out of the house making it a rental property w/tenants paying the mortgage and create some other living arrangement with your SO.
i do think that if you wanted to refi and are determined to keep your finances separate that it probably would have been better to just keep it to yourself and not change what he pays in. it doesn't sound like he needs financial support from you, just that you need financial independence.
alternately do the refi for whatever term and move out of the house making it a rental property w/tenants paying the mortgage and create some other living arrangement with your SO.
i do think that if you wanted to refi and are determined to keep your finances separate that it probably would have been better to just keep it to yourself and not change what he pays in. it doesn't sound like he needs financial support from you, just that you need financial independence.
I wouldn't have kept the refi to myself. That thought never crossed my mind. Even if we aren't married. I know if he found out I refi and he was still paying the same amount (whether my payment goes up or down) without telling him he would be absolutely livid and he would think I'm being shady.
R 1 35
L├┼┤
2 4 6
"No Pecs No Secks, Can't do a curl - won't get a girl" - Chengman
11-17-2020, 04:47 PM
-
#198
- MuzzieChik786
- Registered User
-
- MuzzieChik786
- Registered User
- Join Date: Nov 2013
- Posts: 28,332
- Rep Power: 273734
-
-
Originally Posted By northernlights7⏩
Exactly right again. It's a messed up situation whether Person A is a male or a female. The situation is not balanced and studies show that the number one reason for issues within relationships is due to finances.You are essentially arguing that one person should agree to be a financial cuckold in a relationship and be happy with it. How is that a good foundation for a healthy relationship?
If you're fair with finances, you eliminate the issue altogether.
Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
Must have been a typo.I wonder if the fact that you would think posting this on the misc would be beneficial has anything to do with getting to that point?
Edit : MuzzieChik, still waiting on you showing me where I am "morally corrupt".
Edit : MuzzieChik, still waiting on you showing me where I am "morally corrupt".
Thus let me live, unseen, unknown;
Thus unlamented let me die;
Steal from the world, and not a stone
Tell where I lie.
2/17/15 - Dunk Tank Results: 15% bf (Omron said 18.6%) - 123.4 lbs LBM
11-17-2020, 04:48 PM
-
#199
- littlemissy
- Practicing Safe Sets
-
- littlemissy
- Practicing Safe Sets
- Join Date: Apr 2012
- Location: Texas, United States
- Posts: 4,211
- Rep Power: 89259
-
-
Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
I've kept you fairly entertained for 247 posts.. you should be thanking me. You seem to not go away.I wonder if the fact that you would think posting this on the misc would be beneficial has anything to do with getting to that point?
Edit : MuzzieChik, still waiting on you showing me where I am "morally corrupt".
Edit : MuzzieChik, still waiting on you showing me where I am "morally corrupt".
R 1 35
L├┼┤
2 4 6
"No Pecs No Secks, Can't do a curl - won't get a girl" - Chengman
11-17-2020, 04:49 PM
-
#200
- MuzzieChik786
- Registered User
-
- MuzzieChik786
- Registered User
- Join Date: Nov 2013
- Posts: 28,332
- Rep Power: 273734
-
-
^ yea, pretty sure he's just trolling now. His posts continue to decline in intelligence.
Opie, quick question for you:
Would your "guy friend" be alright with you paying only $500 to live with HIM in HIS house regardless of the mortgage? One way to deal with your current issue is ask him to buy property and you'll come live with him for the same arrangement.
See what he says.
This will tell you a lot about this dude btw.
Opie, quick question for you:
Would your "guy friend" be alright with you paying only $500 to live with HIM in HIS house regardless of the mortgage? One way to deal with your current issue is ask him to buy property and you'll come live with him for the same arrangement.
See what he says.This will tell you a lot about this dude btw.
Thus let me live, unseen, unknown;
Thus unlamented let me die;
Steal from the world, and not a stone
Tell where I lie.
2/17/15 - Dunk Tank Results: 15% bf (Omron said 18.6%) - 123.4 lbs LBM
11-17-2020, 04:50 PM
-
#201
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
-
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
- Join Date: May 2012
- Location: United States
- Posts: 23,894
- Rep Power: 82068
-
-
Originally Posted By littlemissy⏩
He's always smiling you can't take that as a signal of entertainment with him. I swear to God I remove them from his quotes sometimes because it makes me uneasyI've kept you fairly entertained for 247 posts.. you should be thanking me. You seem to not go away.
11-17-2020, 04:54 PM
-
#202
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
-
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
- Join Date: May 2012
- Location: United States
- Posts: 23,894
- Rep Power: 82068
-
-
Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
Lol where is this coming from.It saddens me to see so many miscers be completely oblivious to the world.
11-17-2020, 04:58 PM
-
#203
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
-
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
- Join Date: May 2012
- Location: United States
- Posts: 23,894
- Rep Power: 82068
-
-
Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
There isn't a thing wrong with selfishness or self-interest. It's responsible for most of the good in the world.I got a bit of insight into the mental gymnastics people make to justify their selfishness to themselves in this thread. And I'm not talking only about OP either.
This thread is a very good indicator of how pathetic people really are.
This thread is a very good indicator of how pathetic people really are.
You grow up with a silver spoon or something?
No free lunch
11-17-2020, 04:59 PM
-
#204
- mr.left hook
- PHF member
-
- mr.left hook
- PHF member
- Join Date: Jul 2007
- Posts: 20,191
- Rep Power: 126540
-
-
pay the same its not his fault he gets the Pussy and his mortgage paid. don't **** up a good thing for a man Bish!
MR.PHF '09
“Do you see over yonder, friend Sancho, thirty or forty hulking giants? I intend to do battle with them and slay them.”- Don Quixote
''damn right I like the life I live
'Cause I went from negative to positive
And it's allGood..."
"friends come and go but enemies accumulate"
< H.T.C Till I D.I.E >
"Zero tolerance Crew" ZERO, NADA !!!!
11-17-2020, 05:00 PM
-
#205
- littlemissy
- Practicing Safe Sets
-
- littlemissy
- Practicing Safe Sets
- Join Date: Apr 2012
- Location: Texas, United States
- Posts: 4,211
- Rep Power: 89259
-
-
Originally Posted By MuzzieChik786⏩
Well in his last situation his x didn't pay chit or do chit around the house and made peanuts according to him so I'm assuming so? lmao But he's probably learned from that mistake. He really is a good guy. We normally see eye to eye on things. Don't know why this one blew up one of proportion.^ yea, pretty sure he's just trolling now. His posts continue to decline in intelligence.
Opie, quick question for you:
Would your "guy friend" be alright with you paying only $500 to live with HIM in HIS house regardless of the mortgage? One way to deal with your current issue is ask him to buy property and you'll come live with him for the same arrangement.See what he says.
This will tell you a lot about this dude btw.
Opie, quick question for you:
Would your "guy friend" be alright with you paying only $500 to live with HIM in HIS house regardless of the mortgage? One way to deal with your current issue is ask him to buy property and you'll come live with him for the same arrangement.
See what he says.This will tell you a lot about this dude btw.
Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
So... do you want a cookie for twisting my words? Literally said that thought never crossed my mind of not telling him. I was actually stoked to share the news with him. AND I mentioned how mad / hurt / disappointed he would be if he didn't know bc I know his mentality. We're very transparent with each other. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if he saw this thread. He laughs about me polling stranger's opinions all the time.Just figured I would point it out for everyone in case they didn't catch it.
OP literally posted that she wouldn't keep it a secret not because she thinks it isn't right, but because she is scared of the consequences of being caught.
Not that she thinks it would be a shady thing to do, but that he would think that she's being shady.
This is what I mean by morally corrupt, in case anyone was wondering.
OP literally posted that she wouldn't keep it a secret not because she thinks it isn't right, but because she is scared of the consequences of being caught.
Not that she thinks it would be a shady thing to do, but that he would think that she's being shady.
This is what I mean by morally corrupt, in case anyone was wondering.
Originally Posted By DizzySmalls⏩
lmao. How about the winks? You keep those in the post? I mean.. he doesn't go away so he def is entertained. And he's very hell bent on making me this bad guy bc I don't see things his way.He's always smiling you can't take that as a signal of entertainment with him. I swear to God I remove them from his quotes sometimes because it makes me uneasy
R 1 35
L├┼┤
2 4 6
"No Pecs No Secks, Can't do a curl - won't get a girl" - Chengman
11-17-2020, 05:01 PM
-
#206
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
-
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
- Join Date: May 2012
- Location: United States
- Posts: 23,894
- Rep Power: 82068
-
-
Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
I sleep just fine in my luxurious sheets I bought while not donating any money to the poor. Bleeding heart lib anachron is a new one. I want that ps5Pretty sure I posted it in this thread already, but whatever helps you sleep at night.
11-17-2020, 05:10 PM
-
#207
- wutevs
- Registered User
-
- wutevs
- Registered User
- Join Date: May 2013
- Age: 34
- Posts: 3,062
- Rep Power: 42013
-
-
Lmao ya'll are a fukin trip ITT. Good luck, OP. I'm sure two capable adults will be able to figure this out one way or another. At the end of the day, just don't let the banks win. It would be silly to not refi when mortgage rates are so low.
11-17-2020, 05:12 PM
-
#208
11-17-2020, 05:14 PM
-
#209
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
-
- DizzySmalls
- Fast Misc
- Join Date: May 2012
- Location: United States
- Posts: 23,894
- Rep Power: 82068
-
-
Originally Posted By Anachron⏩
At least you still see lib as an insult, which is promising.When there is no argument left, the weak resort to insults.
Here's a fun fact: you can't argue about morals and be right or wrong. The world doesn't have moral properties. You are just projecting your own values outwards, justified only in aesthetics and your own preferences.
You have to come to terms with nihilism to fully understand the world. I recommend altering your mind state to see through these socialized mechanisms that limit your perspective if that interests you. But I assure you my time arguing morality on these forums has mostly passed. That was 2012-2015ish. I'm good on rehashing all of that.
11-17-2020, 05:17 PM
-
#210
- Jestbrah
- Registered User
-
- Jestbrah
- Registered User
- Join Date: Feb 2012
- Age: 37
- Posts: 28,748
- Rep Power: 170226
-
-
honestly I just lol that "person b" is paying anything when "person A' can sell the house at anytime and collect that money again from the sale. Basically person B is paying say 20k over 3 years that will eventually go to person A unless they get married. Person B also cucked himself because person A has much less reason to want to marry person A because not Person A's house also becomes person B's house.
Also the obvious solution is to get jiggy with person C
Also the obvious solution is to get jiggy with person C
**worthless college major crew**
*Always picks 4 Crew*
**HTC**
Bookmarks
-
- Digg
-
- del.icio.us
-
- StumbleUpon
-
-
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts