Vent to someone about those feelings. It’ll help so you don’t contact her.

Out of curiosity, if you did speak with her, what type of reaction from her would give you peace of mind?

Not even about her reaction, about getting it off my chest. But one reason I don't want to do it is because no reaction from her will make me feel better, only potentially worse.

Hold back. Don’t give her the knowledge of you hurting.

Ye, not gonna do it. I'm more angry than hurting, but maybe same difference.

It’s all pain at the end. Being angry and feeling hurt is emotional either way. Time heals. Sorry man.

It won't help you telling her this.
Will you really be able to calmly tell her this or will you get angry when you do it? For some reason I think you will be angry at yourself if you do get angry telling her this. And then the mind games intensify for yourself.
Later you will play back the conversation in your head and think "I should have said xyz as well."
It is just going to mess with your head more and more.


Honestly man, focus your energy on something else. If you have some hobbies which has a bit of a social aspect to it, spend more time on it. You might need some progress in other aspects of your life to move on from the ex. I do not think getting under, over, behind, infront of another women always helps with the resent you have built up for the ex.

Is taking a “cute” picture with your mask on the new trendy thing?

These are perfectly normal emotions. Anger and hatred are baggage though. I also even a year later would love to give my ex a piece of my mind about how she chose to end things and basically just destroyed our relationship to the point that there was no way to repair it after all that she did. 3 years down the drain. Oh well. But emotional energy in any way is just more satisfaction for an ex from you then just none at all. Leave them wondering if they ever even cross your mind is better and focus that energy elsewhere. Enjoy your family and friends and hobbies. Another one will come along eventually.

I completely agree, but you know how the thoughts invade regardless. Lie in bed sometimes, and my mind churns on what I'll email her - explain how she's a piece of **** in a way she can't deny, logically break down what happened to make it clear she was a scumbag... instead of painting me as "untrusting" and rationalize away her behavior like he immediately tried to do.

I guess I want justice, and for her to feel pain and horrible for being a ****ty person.

But the reality is I'd be helping her by pointing out her faults. I'm better off letting her keep repeating them, being a ****ty partner, lose another decent guy (or end up with a ****ty one on her level).

Like I've done before after a breakup, I'll just keep distracting away from those thoughts and use the energy as ammunition to focus on productive things.

Trust me that I know that it’s hard for anybody to be told these months or even almost a year or more after a breakup with somebody you loved who did you wrong.

Regardless, never try to seek revenge or have that in your heart. An ex that has no feelings for you anymore or at least at that point in life isn’t going to be taught any sort of lesson or anything or be convinced they’re a bad person. The best revenge is always you bettering yourself for yourself and moving on and living a better life without somebody who wasn’t meant to be there anymore.

Your ex will always be an EXample of EXactly what you don’t need in your life. Think of it that way and be happy single. Another one who doesn’t need to become an ex is out there somewhere.

Whatever she has done to you, or does moving forward with other guys is a reflection of her. Maybe after she deals with a bunch of new bfs that treat her bad or she doesn’t have the same connection with she realizes her mistake and reaches out and calls you to say sorry. By then it won’t matter. Time does heal all.

Sure there's a chance she'd say "ugh yeah I know I have to grow up and change my ways. I'm sorry. I hope you find someone who treats you better in the future. You're amazing and deserve the best."

Better chance though she responds with something like "LOL just get over it already. It wasn't meant to be now leave me alone."
Or shows her friends how you still care so much that you had to write a lengthy message and they all laugh at the fact you still think about it while they're talking about all the new guys they have on the go.

She's still living in your head though and she doesn't deserve to.

I wanted to prove to my ex-wife (even though I didn't want her back) I was right and she was wrong and mistreated me while the split was fresh but years later I really don't care (and either will you in time).

Yes let it out. Let. It. Out. You are just grieving like you did for your first ex but with different emotions. It is normal. Pretty much people in here have given you good advice. I am here to listen if you need to vent.

It's the worst virtue signal there is. FUK thatDon't give her ANY indication that she takes up space in your head. Just pretend she's dead.

This is exactly what I’m doing, thinking back on the last conversations we had, and how she was trying to defend her actions and gaslight. So the idea in my mind was to just email xyz and be done. Thinking I’d get some closure, in theory.

Found this article, seems relevant to the situation:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b...-angry-your-ex

It does help to know that my emotions, as usual, seem pretty normal.

No contact = No new pain. Venting isn't really that effective.

Channel that anger elsewhere, like the gym.

*****************

Dating Apps: Such a pain in the a**. I joined this adventure club but now I heard that they kick out men who try to pick up women in the club because it makes them "uncomfortable". How the hell are you supposed to meet people IRL outside of work? I've tried dating at work and the gym, but then you have to see the person after it ends, which is awkward.

I had one attractive military girl from Hinge who was over the top texting nonstop about me being her King and all of this BS, then I finally asked for a spoon pic and she got nasty, started swearing at me and blocked me. Gotta love the fake pic people.

You won't find closure from sending an email. You will just open yourself up for a new round of doubt, anger and questions. Maybe putting everything in writing for yourself could help you, but it won't be of use to send it.
The anger you are talking about is something everyone goes through when you were with someone who meant a fukload to you. It is normal. I was there a few months ago.

You go NC, you fight with your mind, you replay times spent together in your head, you doubt yourself, and then you find a way to survive without them.

My way of getting over someone was by focusing on a hobby and mine was to ride more trials. It was one of the best things I could have done with my life. I am actually quite happy again. I do still at times think about the girl that messed up my head, but it does not anger me anymore.
I don't think the adventure club should be used for the sole purpose of dating.
It is for people to meet other with a common interest. People want to do some outdoor activity, enjoy themselves and not worry if Jeff is going to try to finger them in the rock pool or send dick pics after getting their number.
Make friends there, they invite you to other social functions where they introduce some friends. Maybe you meet some women you like.

Repped. Good ideas.

The club is the GOAT in terms of looking forward to various adventures for the weekend vs. staying inside and just vegging. I'm going sup (stand up paddleboarding) today. I went surfing, whale watching, Halloween adventure looking at a prison on an island, horseback riding, hiking and I signed up for camping.

I'm off this week so I have a few dates lined up from Bumble and Hinge. We will see how those go......

Girls are you waiting for a guy to reach out to you after sex?

Yes, after sex, after a date, after an interaction. A woman will rarely pursue for fear of rejection. And if she does reach out, it won’t expose her to direct rejection.

If you like her, reach out.

Bad idea. You'll still end up being preoccupied with her reply.

Whenever you start having these thoughts, better to just do something else that keeps your mind off it. Doesn't even have to be healthy or productive, really, although that's the typical advice. Hell, just having a drink and going to bed early sometimes works the best.

Anybody ever find out what happened with spade and that chick he was looking at proposing to if things went well?

He went AWOL I believe, so I guess that means that things went well? You could try PMing him. He was PMing me with advice last summer. I may do that as well.

Was scanning through this thread and noticed there was a couple of names that usually popped up that are no longer here then remembered his story he had with that chick seeming very eager to propose to her pretty early on, was just wondering how it was going really.

Can't wait for the fairytale ending and/or when it blows up and we hear all about it.

Well at least that has meant that we haven't had Tinder and Bumble screen shots of 19 year olds for a few months.

So yeah, i was talking to a girl, we went on a date once. Then i told her that i want fwb. She refused at first but then fast forward 2 weeks we f*ked. After that she became distant. A few days later i asked if she wants to repeat. And she told me that she has an ex fwb in a picture so that's that but it was fun. Plus that we aren't really compatible, she wants it rough and i'm too tender.

It's brootal to get mogged like that when you are basically get told: "He is a better man than you are". smh

Wow. She sounds like a piece of work. She could have made this all up because she didn't want to be just FWB with you.

The story sounds rly made up, more likely she really didn't like something, mb some post sex regret if this is a thing.