I’ve been learning to play the violin the past couple years and I’m supposed to record three pieces for an upcoming competition and I simply cannot do it...Honestly, I can’t, the harder I try the worse it gets. My nerves, they get the better of me every time. I’ve tried everything I can think of and I’ve followed advice from every person I’ve come across who’ve beat their nerves into submission.


It’s already cost me a fortune just to get to this point and past couple weeks I’ve been paying $60 an hour for my instructor and $40 an hour for an accompanist. I just don’t even know if it’s worth it.

I’ve had these three songs for months and I’m not moving forward...What’s the point? I never picked up the violin thinking I wouldn’t actually perform for an audience. I only wanted to learn for myself. I understand and accept that playing in recitals and competitions is vital for learning but it’s putting a huge damper on my progress at this point.

I did manage to record one song but it’s horrible. I know the placement of my hand on the bow is going to immediately fail me but I just don’t have it in me to record it again.



/pouty fit

repetition is what worked for me playing piano growing up

reps reps reps, until it's muscle memory

I repeatedly play it wrong when I nervous and damn my muscle memory, it’s bails on me the first chance it gets.

why not rethink your training? forget about the audiences for a while. learn something new that you werent previously working on. try a different instructor. watch some youtube instructional videos. find some new practice techniques..... something easier that will bring you some joy.

this chit shouldnt be making you anxious. its supposed to make you happy.

best of luck to you. its hard to learn an instrument as an adult.

i don't get it. you say a "recording" for a competition. does this mean it's played in front of an audience - or just judges or something?

it's individuals sending in their video alone and not put together somehow right?

anyways. my opinion the only way something like this gets better is you have to realize your fear/ go through it. which means you have to bomb. and then you realize you didn't die and it's not so bad... this gets you over your fear. otherwise it has this irrational foothold in your mind

so i say stick with it no matter what. go through with it no matter what. even if its bad

then maybe revel in proving people wrong if they have some way of knowing it's you and or being shocked at how much better you are

I’m rethinking my training now. This is absolutely not working and it’s deterring me from sticking with it


My violin instructor is holding a competition for all of her students. She is in Croatia and the majority of her students are in the US several are scattered across the globe. So what we do is we record three songs with an accompanist in our area, we send it all to her. She complies them, then sends them to three judges, After the judges receive them they send “comments” and a score/grade back to my instructor then she forwards it to us


I was lucky to even be considered for this particular competition.

Well.. the comments sound good/ what youre looking for?

And from the sound of it youre prob not as bad as you think? Theres prob been someone worse than you. Also theres prob been someone better than you whos bombed

I GUESS you could get better and hope to avoid feeling inadequate but my guess is even if you got better then had to perform again it would come up. And maybe even worse because last time you avoided it. Avoidance does not help anxiety, it only exacerbates it. E.g. "last time i couldnt handle it, i avoided it. Here it comes again". Youve now compounded it

You could maybe get good enough and then it doesnt come up in your mind, but i doubt it. Sounds like youre not used to performing in general

Its called exposure therapy and deals with it head on to obliterate the fear

No it’s bad. Just a snippet of how the whole hour went...




But yes, comments
and a score/grade is exactly what I want if I don’t die of nerves in the process

Welp, not the performance anxiety I was expecting. I’ll show myself out.

Same

I came in expecting dink problems...

well.. i guess if you couldn't the next best solution is starting smaller?

i dont see how youre going to get over it other than performing in front of some type of audience

think of the alternative and coming out the other side

even if it happens, it's only once. how many times can you perform after that and not worry about it? or it gets better?

it could be once out of 540 performances. have to start somewhere.

and also at least it's not an orchestra when you can let down lots of people and or affect the whole performance

Yup. Just got back from a 5/6 year break from the misc and I already need another apparently lmao.

5htp
and practice
take it slow
with deep breaths
and finally improve
your blood flow

I’ve heard a certain medication can help a lot with this specific problem but not sure I can mention it.

Edit-Whatever, if they give me a vacation from the misc so be it. Aderall

Profesional Violniist here (srs)

Couple of things after watching the videos:
If you want to get rid of performance anxiety, there are many steps to take but there is never a silver bullet to fix it. Getting rid of anxiety is a skill in itself, however you CAN make big progress. I'll make out a list of things to do.

-Practice relaxed both in the body and mind. You need to practice being both physically and mentally comfertable so that it feels very natural. Focus on ONE thing at a time in your practice at first so you don't have a laundry list of self-critisim that will only hurt you. It also makes it more productive to do detail work.

-This advice is a very quick rundown of somewhat steps of taking drastic steps of performance anxiety. I have taken EMDR therapy (which is used for PTSD, anxiety, depression, everything) specifically for performance anxiety and it has drastically helped before auditions/performances. Deep breathing exercises make a big difference in controlling your nervous system,https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tybOi4hjZFQ. You may also be suffereing from Narsasistic abuse currently, or in the past that is causing you to panic or have insecurities, TONS of videos on youtube about this, but here is just 1 starter videohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eujm1NARGg8. Lastly, a really good book about performance anxiety that I know many have readhttps://www.amazon.com/Inner-Game-Te...6637932&sr=8-1. It's about tennis but many musicians/athletes have used it.

-Watches a little bit about the video, at your level (book 1/3 Suzuki Minuet 1), let the acompianist follow you even if you mess up, they have your part right in front of them. Just keep going or jump back slightly at the previous phrase. Mistakes and slips are inevitable, but learning how to recover from them is a skill. Do whatever it takes to keep going except start the piece over. Also songs at this level ,the piano part is mirroring your part with the right hand on the piano so that can be a nice guide. Also, create a story of a peice in your head, or make up your own words to the music and you will remember the piece much better.

-Also, keep your bow arm on the string way more for bow changes and let the weight of your elbow/arm naturally rest onto the string. You can also slightly de-tighten the bow to help not to overpress if you find that you do this after relaxing the arm.

Let me know if you have anymore questions

You're never going to get that good trying to learn the violin as an adult. So you should lower your expectations first. Do you enjoy learning and playing it? Then keep at it. If not, then no, it's probably not worth it.

I tried picking up the piano several years back, and while it was fun at first, I didn't have the time or discipline to practice enough for it to be worth the money.

Bro just ****ing go for it! Showing up is 90% of success. Seriously. The first 5x I had sex with 5 different girls I couldn’t get a fuking erection because I was so nervous. I ****ing failed and lost the girls and was humiliated. But you know what? I ****ing grew and now I am a sex god. What would have happened if I would have just stopped there and gave up or never showed up due to the possibility of that happening?


Every master was once a beginner feeling the same feelings you are and the reason they got to be incredible is by making that ONE first step. That’s literally all it takes and the rest becomes easier and easier until you don’t even feel anything except positive feelings. Take that step. Conquer.

I think you may have early onset alseimers. Also, if you aren't ashkenazi jew genetics, you're probly not gunna make it.

You have alt kormo ****?

Have you tried viagra?

came in expecting dink problems

Try nofap, and stop watching porn.

Damn. I never thought I’d run across a professional violinist on the misc. lol

I’m about 1/4 of the way through the Inner Game of Tennis. I’ll be finishing that up today also I’m going to print your response and go through it painstakingly slow. I honestly appreciate you putting all that together for me and I will absolutely have some follow-up questions for you soon
I never expected to get good but what I did expect was consistent forward movement.


I wholeheartedly love learning it. I’ll be an adult learner till the day I die.


Omfg lol
Absolutely not. Those are my two favorite things.

Performer: ***** ******

Intonation (1-10): 6
Rhythmic Integrity (1-10): 8
Tone (1-10): 5
Musical effects (Articulation, Dynamics, Phrasing (1-10): 6

Stage Presence (1-5): 3
Total: 28/45

Comments:

Like a River Glorious: Nice performance of this piece. Keep working to have cushy and flexible fingers in your bow hold: this will make your bow changes and string crossings smoother. Begin to explore different ways of exaggerating your dynamics (through bow placement, arm weight, or sounding point). Occasionally, your intonation slips on the upper two strings (the pitches are a bit flat). In the middle section (when you play harmony), the ensemble between you and your pianist wavered a bit, but you made a solid recovery!

Minuet No. 3: Good bow distribution and good variations of bow strokes. More dynamic contrast would be useful. Very steady playing! Good beginning spiccato!

The Happy Farmer: Experiment with the height between the bow and string during the spiccato playing. Occasionally the spiccato playing becomes a bit percussive. GREAT hooked bows!

A convincing performance! Keep pushing to make your performances exciting and musical.



Better than I expected.

Stage presence 3/5. Great, considering I was standing there sweating with my teeth chattering.

“Good beginning spiccato” Lol I’ve been using that bow stroke for over a year and a half...😶