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Forum » Are you a lost cause socially?
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Thread: Are you a lost cause socially?

post 1625144013 12-10-2020, 06:26 PM
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#1
  1. SoutheastBeast1
  1. SoutheastBeast1
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Are you a lost cause socially?

I feel like I am. Not just with girls but people in general.

-Struggle to connect with people
-No idea what to talk about with them
-Most social events feel like a chore rather than something to look forward to
-Hard time trusting others
-Not good at making friends
-Always an outcast in team/group settings... don’t work well with others basically

Not just personally but professionally as well. Even within family settings too.

I’ve tried switching environments (new friends, new jobs, new cities, new universities) and there’s never a place that I’ve really fit. Mostly just consider myself a lost cause at this point.

Starting to accept I’ll always be out of place no matter what.

I imagine a lot other miscers are like this too
"One day I won't be able to lift any more. Not I won't want to lift. I mean physically unable. That day could be decades from now or it could be tomorrow. All I know is that's the day I'll wish I could lift more than ever. The day I'd give anything for one more workout, one more set, or one more cardio session. So go hard and enjoy every workout, every set, every rep. Because one day you will wake up and you will never get it back."
-SoutheastBeast1
post 1625144293 12-10-2020, 06:30 PM
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#2
  1. SoutheastBeast1
  1. SoutheastBeast1
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People will tell you cope stories like it’s better to not be like everyone else but I can tell you from experience it’s exhausting when you never fit in
"One day I won't be able to lift any more. Not I won't want to lift. I mean physically unable. That day could be decades from now or it could be tomorrow. All I know is that's the day I'll wish I could lift more than ever. The day I'd give anything for one more workout, one more set, or one more cardio session. So go hard and enjoy every workout, every set, every rep. Because one day you will wake up and you will never get it back."
-SoutheastBeast1
post 1625145823 12-10-2020, 06:49 PM
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#3
  1. homersexual
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I have low energy for social events especially weddings and professional conventions. I'll give it my all for 1hr and then I'm looking for the exit. Would much rather have a small chill session with a couple of people drinking in a dingy bar than attending a swanky banquet at a 5 star resort. I guess working 60hr weeks don't help much either in the energy department.
-SF Gigantes y SF 49ers-
post 1625146123 12-10-2020, 06:52 PM
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  1. eod8989
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I haven't talked to anyone in like 4.5 years

There is nothing to talk about

I'm pretty well spoken and good socially too
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post 1625146293 12-10-2020, 06:54 PM
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  1. CherryPopinski
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Only with girls yes
No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.

-Socrates
post 1625146673 12-10-2020, 06:58 PM
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#6
  1. LoveWarrior1957
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yes I have a hard time with eye contact and I think thats like 80% of all social interractions
post 1625147173 12-10-2020, 07:03 PM
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#7
  1. IH8RICE
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  1. IH8RICE
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Originally Posted By SoutheastBeast1⏩
I feel like I am. Not just with girls but people in general.

-Struggle to connect with people
-No idea what to talk about with them
-Most social events feel like a chore rather than something to look forward to
-Hard time trusting others
-Not good at making friends
-Always an outcast in team/group settings... don’t work well with others basically

Not just personally but professionally as well. Even within family settings too.

I’ve tried switching environments (new friends, new jobs, new cities, new universities) and there’s never a place that I’ve really fit. Mostly just consider myself a lost cause at this point.

Starting to accept I’ll always be out of place no matter what.

I imagine a lot other miscers are like this too
The bolded are issues for me because 90% of people suck. They’re selfish, liars, narcissist, lack integrity, etc. I just don’t feel like it’s worth it to waste my energy to build a relationship when there’s a solid chance they’re only using me and will throw away the relationship once they’re done with me( or even worse, try to come back with the same nonsense).
post 1625147283 12-10-2020, 07:04 PM
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#8
  1. FAPhaggot
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I basically get subtle put-downs from everyone I talk with, srs.

I don't mind other people, but other people don't like me.
FA Crew
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"Experience is something you get right after you need it."
post 1625147383 12-10-2020, 07:05 PM
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#9
  1. IH8RICE
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  1. IH8RICE
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Originally Posted By LoveWarrior1957⏩
yes I have a hard time with eye contact and I think thats like 80% of all social interractions
I don’t think anything is more rage inducing to me when I look up at someone, make eye contact, go to say hi( being cordial), and they instantly put their eyes back to the ground.
post 1625147473 12-10-2020, 07:06 PM
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#10
  1. xbit7
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I’m in the same boat, I’m trying to put my self out there but it’s hard. Try meeting people that have the same hobbies you do.
Best dyslexia on the misc
Making Progress Crew
post 1625147593 12-10-2020, 07:08 PM
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#11
  1. CougarP01
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Judging by your posts, you kinda give that vibe srs. Not in a bad way. You're not shy or anxious like a lot of others who have real social issues. You're just extremely firm in your stances. If my photogenic AF memory is serving me right, aren't you a PhD too? For some reason I think I read a post by you saying that.

Idk if you are venting or seeking advice, but it seems like with all your accomplishments, you place a super high standard for yourself, and you expect that same standard for people in your life, whether its friends, gfs, or family. With accomplishments comes a level of stubbornness as well because you know what provenly works for you. If you accomplished all your chit alone, this can easily stunt the way you see others especially those with huge viewpoint differences across all aspects of life.

The world is a big place. Even if you wanted to make an effort to connect with people, simple statistics and variance can easily explain how you can meet thousands upon thousands of people with 0 similarities. Gfs and friends are not different imo. It takes effort to find both while withstanding endless disappointment after disappointment. The only difference is that girls can mask that issue w/ sex because of physical attraction even if you 2 don't click. Going through those disappointments is exhausting AF.

I would say just be more interested about the other person in any conversation. I honestly think that while you may be disappointed with the results you've had in social outings, the other person was disappointed too because they could have used another friend but you didn't give them any reason to be friends. Ask them about anything. People love 0 pressure interviews. Communication is 2 way. If you take the initiative, you will get the initiative back. There will still be crazy disappointments, but you'll throw the ball further. Maybe loosen up on the expectations too. That's my take at it.
Hi
post 1625147703 12-10-2020, 07:10 PM
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#12
  1. ErnieMccracken
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Yes I feel completely disconnected from mainstream NPC society.

Today I was talking to my friend. He complains constantly about his gold digging girlfriend who has no money, no education, has a BITCH personality, and has never worked a job in her life. Today he tells me he thinks he is going to propose at christmas with her family. I actually get along with this boyo and still we are on completely different wavelengths.
post 1625148023 12-10-2020, 07:15 PM
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#13
  1. Evolutionary1
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Originally Posted By IH8RICE⏩
The bolded are issues for me because 90% of people suck. They’re selfish, liars, narcissist, lack integrity, etc. I just don’t feel like it’s worth it to waste my energy to build a relationship when there’s a solid chance they’re only using me and will throw away the relationship once they’re done with me( or even worse, try to come back with the same nonsense).
Sadly this. I Only really enjoy socializing with a good buzz
post 1625148123 12-10-2020, 07:15 PM
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#14
  1. mrjolly2323
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I only speak to my mother and my son srs. I'm lucky to get a snapchat from an old bud once a week.
IBS Crew
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post 1625148333 12-10-2020, 07:17 PM
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#15
  1. MustardTiger17
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Probably. I'm either autistic or retarded or both.

I've lived in 3 very different states and I didn't think I belonged in any of them.
Not in the AM
post 1625148433 12-10-2020, 07:19 PM
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#16
  1. ErnieMccracken
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I'm thinking about becoming the next Joe Exotic. Dead srs I mean it.
post 1625148563 12-10-2020, 07:20 PM
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#17
  1. eod8989
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Originally Posted By ErnieMccracken⏩
Yes I feel completely disconnected from mainstream NPC society.

Today I was talking to my friend. He complains constantly about his gold digging girlfriend who has no money, no education, has a BITCH personality, and has never worked a job in her life. Today he tells me he thinks he is going to propose at christmas with her family. I actually get along with this boyo and still we are on completely different wavelengths.
You woke up and disconnected from the matrix

I did this in 2015 and now i can't reconnect
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post 1625148693 12-10-2020, 07:23 PM
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#18
  1. SpencerFS
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Do you get anxious at all in these situations? Sometimes you'll talk to people and feel like they don't like you. But, the majority of the time it's not the case at all. It might be social anxiety at work and you might not know how to loosen up and end up projecting your insecurities onto others. Making them feel awkward and uncomfortable. Thus not fitting in...

Find some hobbies that you are passionate about to fall back on. But, if you want people to like you and fit in. You need to have a genuine interest in them and whatever they are doing at the moment. Make people feel good about themselves. Eventually they'll ask about you and invite you out
Heat,Dolphins

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post 1625149243 12-10-2020, 07:29 PM
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#19
  1. PimpMasterC
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Not really, but maybe I´m drifting in that way since taking the enlightenment pill
post 1625149303 12-10-2020, 07:30 PM
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#20
  1. doughnutking
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You do fit in, op. You just need to find the right group of people.

Whatever you are into there are groups of others who also love it.

Fancy yourself as a weekend survivalist? Join a group.

Into BJJ? Join a club

Do you like dressing up in giant dog costumes and getting your ass pounded? Join a group

Do you spend all weekend alone dressed in your rubber gimp suit? Hook up with other gimps.

You are not unique or special and there are thousands into the same things as you. Hook up and you will have plenty to talk about.
post 1625149513 12-10-2020, 07:32 PM
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#21
  1. SoutheastBeast1
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Originally Posted By Sophus⏩
Ask yourself why you are the way you are OP. Was it upbringing? Environmental influences? Predisposition to introversion? figure out the root cause, then diagnose the problem and initiate change, because clearly you are longing for a changed situation. Easier said than done , but nevar impossible
Honestly I feel like the last time I was happy was with a best friend.

In elementary school I had a best from from 2nd - 5th grade who I did everything with

Then he moved. Middle school sucked

Made a new best friend grades 10-12th and which was arguably the last time o was really happy.

The older I get it’s become more about people settling down with a girl and I’ve known some girls I thought could be that best friend type but in the end there’s too many games.

I wouldn’t say that best friend needs to be a girl I’m involved with but at this stage that seems more likely than repeating the male best friends I had growing up.

I still wouldn’t fit in in a lot of situations but having that one person to do anything with was awesome. We could seriously do the dumbest f*cking sh*t and it was a good time.

Obligatory no homo of course
"One day I won't be able to lift any more. Not I won't want to lift. I mean physically unable. That day could be decades from now or it could be tomorrow. All I know is that's the day I'll wish I could lift more than ever. The day I'd give anything for one more workout, one more set, or one more cardio session. So go hard and enjoy every workout, every set, every rep. Because one day you will wake up and you will never get it back."
-SoutheastBeast1
post 1625150433 12-10-2020, 07:43 PM
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#22
  1. JaymzJ
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Nah I make friends pretty easily but sometimes I don’t want to be around ppl.
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post 1625150603 12-10-2020, 07:46 PM
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yeah but i woulndt care if i had a gf
post 1625151193 12-10-2020, 07:53 PM
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#24
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Strong feels itt
See user title srs
post 1625151353 12-10-2020, 07:55 PM
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post 1625151693 12-10-2020, 08:00 PM
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post 1625151953 12-10-2020, 08:04 PM
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Post deleted by user
post 1625152173 12-10-2020, 08:07 PM
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#28
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had a gf for 2 years. Lived together. It sucked. I am happy to be single and mostly chill alone bc I enjoy my own company most. I do miss going downtown to the clubs tho so this rona can suck my d.
post 1625152403 12-10-2020, 08:10 PM
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#29
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It took me making a beast of myself, and actually realizing that I'm a man, an above average one at that. and that means a lot. Social life means nothing.
post 1625152563 12-10-2020, 08:12 PM
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#30
  1. GaryRidgway
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Pretty much but I'm also always drunk so that helps. I'd rather be dead though
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