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Forum » Thoughts on your gf/wife earning more than you? (Srs)
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Thread: Thoughts on your gf/wife earning more than you? (Srs)

post 1626188823 12-21-2020, 09:16 AM
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Originally Posted By NealIRC⏩
How people?

If she divorces you, then she loses more money than you.

Sounds like it's worth it as a guy. Take that money and find a poorer hotter girl.
No way that 90% marriage divorce rate is true lol just more misc bro science.


That is the biggest benefit of marrying someone with similar or greater income. There is a difference between making less than someone and RELYING on someone financially. I have a decently high paying job myself, not CEO 10k A day but in the top 10-15% of people my age. In no circumstance would I cultivate a lifestyle that would require me to depend on someone.


So worst case get divorced, either get $$$ or not (prenup) - but not on the hook paying for someone. Even if divorce was more likely because of the income gap the lack of downside risk is considerably more attractive. I can't imagine ever marrying someone who relies on you completely finacially. Just the added stress, and knowing you are on the hook for every little expense.

When you're in a two high income household the world is your playground. When it's just you then you have to get used to either saying no to her or yes to debt. Enjoy.
post 1626189183 12-21-2020, 09:21 AM
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I make good money, my wifes salary is about 80% more than mine. Add in her bonuses every year and she earns about 3x-5x what I make.

Its never been an issue, but sometimes I do wonder why even bother with my job. On the flip side it means we have a plan to retire in 10 years rather than 20-30 for most people, and when the kids are out of daycare I get to start buying exotic cars.
post 1626190053 12-21-2020, 09:32 AM
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Originally Posted By Noobyy⏩
more than 90% of marriages where the woman starts earning more than the man end in divorce
I don't know if that stat is accurate, but it certainly wouldn't surprise me. I imagine the amount of women who would not grow resentful in that situation, would be a small minority.

For me personally, it would depend on her. I don't want to get married anyway, but hypothetically if I were I want her to have a solid income (all the better if she's earning more than me), but...again it would depend on her personality and the like. IF there is any inkling that she would become a resentful kunt over it, then no.

The woman from my past that I somewhat MAYBE have regrets about not marrying (she really wanted to, even though I'm a pleb compared to her accomplishments) is a bigshot lawyer. Based on a variety of things, I don't think she would have had an issue with the fact that she earns more - but again, I think that's a small minority.
post 1626190493 12-21-2020, 09:37 AM
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post 1626190753 12-21-2020, 09:40 AM
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post 1626190843 12-21-2020, 09:42 AM
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post 1626191143 12-21-2020, 09:45 AM
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Originally Posted By EnderG60⏩
I make good money, my wifes salary is about 80% more than mine. Add in her bonuses every year and she earns about 3x-5x what I make.

Its never been an issue, but sometimes I do wonder why even bother with my job. On the flip side it means we have a plan to retire in 10 years rather than 20-30 for most people, and when the kids are out of daycare I get to start buying exotic cars.
I'd never pay for daycare. lol. Someone else having influence of any kind would irk me. Especially since most people's moral compass is warped.

3-5x more than you means do you really need to work? Take time off, take care of the kids, then go back once they're all in school.

I won't be working after kids unless it's working from home for 90% of the time. Good thing I've signed a remote work agreement with my work meaning even after Covid, I'll only have to report to the office physically once every 2 weeks.
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
And you keep your finances separate right? That is so smart and I really wish I had done that.
Yep. But we're fair in our expenses. It's mostly me though, he doesn't care. lol. My dad taught me to pay my own way in life, so I contribute half to all large purchases like we just recently made with our home.

BTW, keeping your finances separate means you can't nag him for his purchases just like he can't do to you. That's the only way it works. Financial disagreements are often the root cause of divorces simply because one partner wants to control how the other is spending. Which isn't fair IMO.
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post 1626191753 12-21-2020, 09:52 AM
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Above a certain income level it doesn't really matter, you're both playing for the same team.

Mutual attraction is more important.

Now that women are making their own money, the beta provider, "happy wife happy life," starfish sex relationships are becoming a thing of the past. Good riddance.
post 1626191813 12-21-2020, 09:53 AM
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Originally Posted By justgenetics⏩
Another thread made me think of this, gf would be making a decent amount more than me. We haven’t talked about it, but both know what we want to do career wise. I personally don’t see or have any issues with it at all
Wouldn't care, along as your making a good effort to contribute too
post 1626192043 12-21-2020, 09:54 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Wouldn’t you rather have her stay home to take care of the kids? I don’t see high dual income and exotic cars being worth it if you can’t be home with your kids.
Yeah but she takes 3 years off her job she will be fuuuuked trying to go back. That was her choice.

Before we had them, me staying was an idea on the table. After, HELL NO. I realized I dont have the patience and I like kids, but a fuggin hate babies. The non stop annoying as chit baby shows on TV, crying over everything, not being able to do anything but keep an eye on them. Nope. If Im going to keep working when they go to school I need to keep current with my job and if I stayed home with them full time I would end up on the news.

If my kids werent hyperactive and I could plop them in a baby cage with some toys and work on projects it would be a different story, but my kids have stellar levels of energy and ADD and need constant activity.

Besides they only go half days and we both work from home now so they get plenty of time with us, and they leave us exhausted daily.
post 1626192373 12-21-2020, 09:59 AM
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Doubt my gf will make anymore than me, I’m a 1%er raking in $32.04/hr plus bennies, a cellphone, and a company car (2011 Taurus) and purchased my waterbed without financing
post 1626192633 12-21-2020, 10:02 AM
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post 1626193153 12-21-2020, 10:07 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Yeah my best friend is a doctor and I think she makes more than her husband. He is a lawyer so he makes good money too but I think she makes more. Together they make a lot and they provide an upper class lifestyle for their kids.

BUT I think it’s honestly better for kids to grow up with less money and more present parents. The high dual income upper class life is not worth the sacrifice in time with your kids imo.
Yea that was what I saw with many of the female doctors. Most of them are STEMlords too so already pretty masculine / technical thinkers. That the ones interested in a family realize having two top tier earners is detrimental because someone needs to carry some weight at home. While corporate climbers aren’t stem types at all, and probably internalize more traditional gender norms

That said I know plenty of women that would instantly lose attraction if their guy was a stay at home dad type - he needs to be doing something. But like I said before big difference between your wife outearning you and you relying on your wife.


I’ve made less money in a lot of relationships, as well as my current, but have never had an issue with it. That said that’s one reason I don’t date in the office. Too easy to get cucked when you’re in a setting that she visibly sees every day you not be at the top of the hierarchy in
post 1626193213 12-21-2020, 10:08 AM
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Dat Dere Blackpill:


It doesn't really matter what your feelings are about your wife's income. What is much more important and impactful is your wife's feelings about YOUR income.

As a rule most women do not like to outearn her husband and interestingly this is even more true as women earn more income. For example a wife earning 30K may not mind as much that her husband earns 25K but a wife earning 100K expects her husband to outearn her by a signficant amount like 150K (my husband is a bum who only makes 80K). This is true across every income tier anyways though.

The only exception are when the husbands are in some position of high-authority or notable for another reason (status). Like if you are an astronaut who makes 65K...your wife is gonna be OK with you even if she makes 250K as a doctor or something.


*Another BLACKPILL based on reading some posts is that another factor (again not often mentioned) is your WIFE'S LOOKS.

If she looks like a plainjane fukface to everyone else even though you personally think she is beautiful, she will probably be OK with you making less.

However if she looks like a conventionally-attractive Fox news anchor....she prolly isn't cool with you making less because she knows she has many other opportunties for better men.
post 1626193383 12-21-2020, 10:10 AM
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post 1626193493 12-21-2020, 10:11 AM
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Wouldn't care as I'm happy single or in a relationship so she can't make the rules even if she wants as I just won't listen.

Also wouldn't have a wife who had a real career but that's not what this thread is asking. Not interested in career driven women.
post 1626193583 12-21-2020, 10:12 AM
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post 1626193623 12-21-2020, 10:12 AM
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post 1626194013 12-21-2020, 10:18 AM
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post 1626194323 12-21-2020, 10:21 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
I even remember way back when we started out thinking if we should keep separate accounts or start a joint account. And decided on joint because I felt like a true marriage is joining everything together and trusting each other completely and managing money together.
Joining finances or keeping them separate has nothing to do with trust. If you're basing trust on being able to manage money together, you're doing it wrong.

Trust is based on moral actions. Keeping finances separate is more of an independent responsibility. Both parties should require that the other party is good with finances before they get married.

Was he really squandering or was that just in your head because he had more in the end than you? God forbid, if we walked away from our marriage today, husband and I would be an equal playing ground with our finances. Courts would have nothing to "award" as we'd both walk away with equal amounts. Me with my investment properties, him with his, and each having their own savings/401k accounts. And we definitely wouldn't fight over couches and dishes. lol. That's silly.
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post 1626195143 12-21-2020, 10:32 AM
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post 1626195353 12-21-2020, 10:35 AM
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If she earns more than me, I'll feel less risk from financial impact from divorce. If I make $50k and she makes $100k, combined income of $150k... if we ever divorced the assets would be split 50/50 most likely. It'd be like I made $75k that entire time (and that she made $75k too).
post 1626195363 12-21-2020, 10:35 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Oh he was squandering alright. Toward the end he was spending thousands of dollars A DAY on partying, alcohol, drugs, hookers, stripclubs, motels, restaurants, shopping etc. His behavior was very extreme and very destructive. And money enabled that.
Sounds more like a midlife crisis.

Good riddance. Stop thinking about that fool.
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post 1626195533 12-21-2020, 10:37 AM
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Depends. If you make 20mil and she makes 30mil, it doesn't really matter.

But if you're regular people and you make, say, 70k and she makes 150k, that's usually a recipe for disaster.
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post 1626195593 12-21-2020, 10:37 AM
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Originally Posted By Astyanax⏩
Depends. If you make 20mil and she makes 30mil, it doesn't really matter.

But if you're regular people and you make, say, 70k and she makes 150k, that's usually a recipe for disaster.
why?
communist until you get rich
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post 1626195623 12-21-2020, 10:38 AM
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Originally Posted By Astyanax⏩
But if you're regular people and you make, say, 70k and she makes 150k, that's usually a recipe for disaster.
Why though?
Thus let me live, unseen, unknown;
Thus unlamented let me die;
Steal from the world, and not a stone
Tell where I lie.

2/17/15 - Dunk Tank Results: 15% bf (Omron said 18.6%) - 123.4 lbs LBM
post 1626195783 12-21-2020, 10:40 AM
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Originally Posted By andrepmeet⏩
Dat Dere Blackpill:


It doesn't really matter what your feelings are about your wife's income. What is much more important and impactful is your wife's feelings about YOUR income.

As a rule most women do not like to outearn her husband and interestingly this is even more true as women earn more income. For example a wife earning 30K may not mind as much that her husband earns 25K but a wife earning 100K expects her husband to outearn her by a signficant amount like 150K (my husband is a bum who only makes 80K). This is true across every income tier anyways though.

The only exception are when the husbands are in some position of high-authority or notable for another reason (status). Like if you are an astronaut who makes 65K...your wife is gonna be OK with you even if she makes 250K as a doctor or something.


*Another BLACKPILL based on reading some posts is that another factor (again not often mentioned) is your WIFE'S LOOKS.

If she looks like a plainjane fukface to everyone else even though you personally think she is beautiful, she will probably be OK with you making less.

However if she looks like a conventionally-attractive Fox news anchor....she prolly isn't cool with you making less because she knows she has many other opportunties for better men.
thats seem a good general way to look at it but there are a lot of exceptions, and tbh they are getting more since the femi ****

I dated a Chinese chick that made 2.65x more than me and I dumped her lol cuz she want letting me breathe clinger type
communist until you get rich
rightwing until financially secure
atheist until the plane starts falling
slootist until you get married
muslim after you get married
post 1626196183 12-21-2020, 10:45 AM
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Originally Posted By atgbrahsrs⏩
why?
Because no matter what BS women tell you about how they dont care, the vast majority will not respect a man if they see themselves as more successful than he is. For a traditional relationship to be successful, the man needs to be the leader and a woman won't accept your leadership if she's better than you.

Listen to Patrice Oneal on this topic.

When a King marries a woman, she becomes the Queen. If a Queen marries a guy, he doesn't become the King, he's the prince consort.
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post 1626196253 12-21-2020, 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted By Astyanax⏩
Depends. If you make 20mil and she makes 30mil, it doesn't really matter.

But if you're regular people and you make, say, 70k and she makes 150k, that's usually a recipe for disaster.
Originally Posted By atgbrahsrs⏩
why?
Originally Posted By MuzzieChik786⏩
Why though?
He doesn't know what he's talking about. My wife and I both do fairly well I would say. She surpassed me last year in earnings when I was having a chit year and not getting as big of bonuses. You have no idea how much of a weight was lifted for me that she was able to pick up the slack and we didn't have to tighten up expenses. Teamwork makes the dream work.
post 1626196393 12-21-2020, 10:47 AM
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#90
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My wife is currently earning more. In our 10 year relationship, I've earned more than her twice and she's earned more than me twice. We're both continually advancing in our careers and are happy about it.
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