If so what did it feel like and more importantly, did it change you in any way, permanently, ever since?
I've heard some describe it like you literally die, completely dissolve into nothing but some kind of floating entity surrounded by ever changing shapes.

stonks

Once when tripping on psychadelics.

And then it took me what felt like forever to rebuild myself into being in a "normal" state on the come down.

After all, it was partially the cid speaking

this but multiple times

took quite a while to collect myself and my thoughts afterwards.

Yes, once while tripping but it was actually "painful" in a way. No system made any sense anymore since it all became completely and utterly arbitrary. Everything was directionless and i realized how much humans depend on and yearn for something to follow. We constantly try to look to something to model ourselves against whether we realize we're doing it or not, and our ego is a critical guidance system for that.

With that said, I'm sure i could've had the opposite experience and just enjoyed becoming "nothing" and being "free" but that's just not how that particular time went. Did not change me long term except that I now appreciate my ego for what it is instead of romanticizing the thought of doing away with it.

I´m on my way to have a permanent ego death (ded fuk srs). I´m dissolving a little bit every day. My ego illusion is still here hanging on, but it´s almost gone it feels like. Was just out for an late night walk. It doesn´t even feel like I´m walking anymore, it just happens on it´s own. When I look in the mirror, I barely identify with what I see. When I look at my surroundings, I´m more out there, than I´m in here. It´s kinda scary and lonely, but exciting too. My ego lash out sometimes tho, probably fighting till it´s last death. I´m still in delusion, but chit has changed a lot over the last few months. I have moments where I feel almost compeltely gone. Where I am just awarness experience. Completely sober

But truth talk in the dream state is a common thing that I need to be aware of. Ego plays many tricks to stay relevant. I will be careful of thinking I´m longer on the path than I actually am.

Yeh

Made me realise that everything we do matters and at the same time doesn’t matter at all. We could all die tomorrow and it doesn’t matter.

Hard to explain.

WiseOldApe did.

I don't think it's a real thing tbh.

Seems like a LARP to me.

SOunds like you have derealization syndrome and depersonalisation too, like clinical depression

I had a partial ego death i would say, took an absurd amount of mushrooms one night while wasted 'for the boys' like an idiot and before i knew it the world around me disappeared, i was nothing but everything at the same time, this entity was forcing me to self-reflect on my biggest insecurities, laughing the entire way like one huge cosmical joke. Every time i tried to fight and "escape" this loop it was like i was administered anesthesia and the entity would whisper.. "relax.. relax.." and i'd fall straight back into the trip destined to repeat the entire process again.. and again.. 100% thought i was dead and this was my enteral punishment, woke up feeling like 100 years had past, definitely humbled me.

I've had multiple on psychedelics. I completely broke down to a binary savage and had to rebuild civilization itself as building blocks to make sense of it.

I had a second one after getting held at gun point and a third by being in an almost plane crash.


It's entirely weird to have to rebuild your sense of self and I can't say if it's a good thing or a bad thing it just is.

I don´t think so. Or maybe I do. Maybe thats what having no ego is. I think I had depersonalisation in the past after coming off heavy weed usage, and it felt different to now. That was a confused state. The state I´m in now, is a state of much more clarity.

It´s really simple. Perceiver, perception and perceived becomes one. It is the same thing. I am not a person I am the experience itself. There is no one that perceives anything, there is only perception/experience/existence/conscioussness, which is the same thing.

But I gotta stay aware of the ego games that are constantly being played. Ego comes prior to perception, and casts an illusion over the real.

not full, only partial

once i was in a world where cartoon characters were real, like they were always with you, i didnt see them but knew they were there and real, its like they were behind you, behind your head almost on a different dimensional plane, sort of like a familiar that witches have, but they were friendly. then when i came to i was sad that when i realized they werent real and youre actually alone. lmao

also had out of death experience when i floated up above my body that was buried alive

another time i was a caterpillar, not a human but i didnt really have the thoughts of forgetting who i am or whatever

so no like freakouts or anything, would say more like getting close to ego death but not full on.

It's quite an interesting experience actually.

At first it feels like a mix between having a stroke, thinking that you're legitimately going insane and dying - all whilst the whole is being spiced up with every kind of cliche psychedelic visuals (weird shapes and chit).

When I closed my eyes I could feel being ripped away from this world (and you literally believe you are dying) and after a while in addition to losing control over your body (if someone asked me to move, I wouldn't be able to comply) you lose control over your thoughts. I clearly remeber thinking I done goofed ingested some weird substance and now I'm a goner.

Then just kinda blacked out and when I came to, I saw some weird things, like your whole conciousness is being rebuilt from scratch. (At first a dot of light, then a line, then colors, then a thought, then language and so on.)

It took me completly by surprise. Happened years ago and I'm still processing the experience.

It's definately profound, however I would hesitate to reccomend it to anyone. (Look at Connor Murphy being all delusional and claiming he is a god - it's easy to get lost after this, the experience literally overwrites your whole perception of life and the world.) if you have people that depend on you, you should def. pass the whole experience, because it has legit potential to **** you up mentally.

I've experienced it countless times. The first time I had it was as a kid because my life was threatened a lot (happened a relatively high number of times due to extreme fear of my own mortality as a child), then very regularly due to high doses of green, & now I experience it almost everyday due to holotropic breathing plus meditation. I have a really warped brain, but the more often you experience ego death, the easier it is to come back from and integrate.

I have never done any drugs.....was surrounded by everything on a daily basis growing up in a bad part of town but knowing I had an addictive type personality, i always stayed away.

I am SUPER curious about the Toad after watching videos of people talking about it. Do these psychodelics really open up another dimension like these people in the videos say?

Yes

Had it happen quite a few times. Part of it is terrifying to watch yourself dissolve into nothing and not know or understand anything. The other part is coming back to reality and being thankful for what you experienced and you're back to reality. It's both terrifying and great relief. You'll never look at life the same way again. Not only did my brain go offline, before that happened I physically saw and felt my body shriveling up into nothing on every breath. I think it was just muscle tremors and my brain filled in the rest with the visuals.It's almost impossible to describe. And everything you describe won't make sense to your audience.

I´m sure it can. I don´t know what the toad is, maybe it is some type of DMT or something. Psykadelics can powerfully change your perception for sure, in ways you cannot imagine. I don´t know about other dimensions tho, haven´t really experienced something I would label as that.

It is possible to completely change your perspective while staying completely sober.

Ego is part of you, accept it, there's no secret pill

Damn, im interested. Yes from what I can tell "the toad" is some natural form of DMT that comes off secretions from a literal toad found in Mexico.

I have a confession to make. I tried destroying my ego, but instead destroyed everything but my ego. There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape, but even after admitting this, there is no catharsis. My punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.

Nope. You can definitely have moments here and there without your ego (NDEs, drugs, meditation, "flow" states, etc.), though you do need it to survive for any extended period of time on Earth. Narcissists never leave it, and some people leave it and can't quite "come back" or integrate their new expanded vision of themselves...see Connor Murphy.

Psyhcadelic drugs can be eye openers and give you a new perspective. But they won´t likely make you enlightened. It fades slowly away when you become sober again, in most cases. I have had several mind blowing experiences on acid, mushrooms and such, but none of them made me enlightened. I wanna try dmt maybe tho. Haven´t tried that yet.

When I take acid and mushrooms, I feel more one with the world. And when I´m walking, it doesn´t feel like I´m doing any walking myself. It just happens. Now, I´m starting to have those same experiences while sober.

That being said. Waking up from the dreamstate is not all pleasant and wonderful. You must weight the cost. It probably has it downsides and upsides.