Log In

Your email is not your username

Register

If you were a member of the old Bodybuilding.com forums and would like to reuse your previous username, you can request it below. We use your email only for registration and do not store it. For more information, please see our Privacy Policy.

Confirm your email

A registration code was sent to your email. Enter it here.

Welcome

You have successfully setup your account.

Sign in

Quick Navigation Bottom Misc
Forum
» Would you ever consider getting serious with a single mother?
  1. Results 1 to 30 of 110
  2. 1
  3. 2
  4. 3
  5. Last
post 1628212563 01-11-2021, 05:08 AM
-
#1
  1. northernlights7
  2. Banned
  1. northernlights7
  2. Banned
  3. Join Date: Jun 2013
  4. Posts: 24,527
  5. Rep Power: 24

Would you ever consider getting serious with a single mother?

If so, under whar circumstances would you consider it? Assuming they were single mothers with younger, school aged children you'd end up sharing responsibility for if you got serious with their mother.


Since I'm a parent myself, I can't say I'd rule it out 100% without exception. That being said, there are still a lot of factors that would have to come into play for me to even think about it. Off the top of my head:


1 - 2 kids on her end, absolute tops. More than 1 is pushing it, but there is no way I'm taking care of 3+ kids leftoever from her past relationships. Just way too much baggage I had nothing to do with to take on.

2 - No YOLO babies. If she has any YOLO babies, it is a strong indicator that she makes poorly thought out life choices in general.

3 - Not more than one father between a maximum of 2 kids. Dealing with ex bs is bad enough, you'd have to be out of your mind to act as a new father to a set of kids who already have different fathers between them without you.

4 - Her kid(s) can't be chitheaded little brats more than normal kids.

5 - She couldn't hold me to different parenting standards than herself for her kids if she expects me to act as a step-father to them.

6 - If she tries to pry at me about my personal finances, especially before we've already agreed to be serious, then she's outta there on the spot.
post 1628212863 01-11-2021, 05:14 AM
-
#2
  1. LurkoLantern
  2. Registered User
  1. LurkoLantern
  2. Registered User
  3. Join Date: Jul 2013
  4. Posts: 8,607
  5. Rep Power: 55368
If I were a single parent myself, then yes it wouldn't be an issue.


But if you're a single guy with no kids, getting serious with a single mom is an indicator of having issues valuing yourself.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Glow, glow, glow your boat
post 1628212943 01-11-2021, 05:16 AM
-
#3
  1. AgentSkyhawk
  2. healthy eating disorder
  1. AgentSkyhawk
  2. healthy eating disorder
  3. Join Date: Feb 2010
  4. Age: 35
  5. Posts: 12,543
  6. Rep Power: 28865
No. 100% of the Responsiblity, zero authority

brb I'm their dad when im buying them video games, taking them to McDonalds, spoiling them, but if they get outta pocket and these lil mothafcukas gotta get checked, then it's "Don't talk to my kid like that."

Baby daddy gonna be in the picture one way or another.

Then if she has multiple kids by multiple people, she's not responsible, which can also mean she's not responsible about money, so she'll burn your money, along with putting 100% responsibility on you without authority
"You can trai as had as you want to, but witout the right fel supporting your training and recovery, you will never see the resuts that you should."-ron Man

Oh by the wy...Size f*ckng matters, in everything. Don't believe the hype. Size f*ckin maters. Size DOESN'T matter to peope who dont have any size, that's why they'r like "oh size doesn't mater". SIZE, GIRTH, THICKNESS, EVERYTHING. Its a game of inches in life..add up all those inche, Victory muthaf*cker!-Gre Pitt
post 1628213193 01-11-2021, 05:21 AM
-
#4
  1. goonsondeck
  2. Registered User
  1. goonsondeck
  2. Registered User
  3. Join Date: Aug 2016
  4. Age: 39
  5. Posts: 3,599
  6. Rep Power: 9648
your a parent yourself so you get a pass man
post 1628213223 01-11-2021, 05:22 AM
-
#5
  1. WoofieNugget
  1. WoofieNugget
  2. Join Date: Jun 2010
  3. Age: 51
  4. Posts: 24,097
  5. Rep Power: 109576
Originally Posted By LurkoLantern
If I were a single parent myself, then yes it wouldn't be an issue.


But if you're a single guy with no kids, getting serious with a single mom is an indicator of having issues valuing yourself.
This. I have kids that require attention still. But in my age demographic most women have kids that are older and can take care of themselves, and also wouldn't expect me to be any kind of father figure besides advice.

Custody needs to be shared and their ex needs to not be a psycho.

It's also a bonus when their kids are old enough to stay home by themselves so that you can still have them over for hookups. So many single moms make great FWBs just for this reason, they have little spare time so they are easy to have come over, bang and then go home.
post 1628213283 01-11-2021, 05:23 AM
-
#6
  1. Brosnbroccoli
  2. Registered User
  1. Brosnbroccoli
  2. Registered User
  3. Join Date: Feb 2012
  4. Age: 31
  5. Posts: 7,896
  6. Rep Power: 21152
IF she had no more than 1-2 kids, IF the dad is a cool guy and ONLY IF I’m a single dad aged 35+.
Then I could consider it.

As long as I’m relatively young and as long as I have no kids of my own - LMAO, forget about it.
Real Madrid, Miami Heat, New York Jets.
post 1628213303 01-11-2021, 05:24 AM
-
#7
  1. mesobuild
  2. Premium User
  1. mesobuild
  2. Premium User
  3. Join Date: May 2020
  4. Posts: 17,953
  5. Rep Power: 44402
I would never consider getting serious with any woman.

Not serious in the same way. Closer to a FWB than a relationship.
post 1628213333 01-11-2021, 05:24 AM
-
#8
  1. ChangeOfStyle
  2. Registered User
  1. ChangeOfStyle
  2. Registered User
  3. Join Date: Jul 2013
  4. Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
  5. Age: 30
  6. Posts: 11,293
  7. Rep Power: 85259
Nah I probably wouldn't be able to raise another mans child, something about it entirely seems off
if you need someone to chat with, don't hesitate to shoot me a PM.
post 1628213363 01-11-2021, 05:25 AM
-
#9
  1. Silencespeaks
  2. Banned
  1. Silencespeaks
  2. Banned
  3. Join Date: Aug 2015
  4. Posts: 114,138
  5. Rep Power: 0
Post deleted by user
post 1628213473 01-11-2021, 05:28 AM
-
#10
  1. ChangeOfStyle
  2. Registered User
  1. ChangeOfStyle
  2. Registered User
  3. Join Date: Jul 2013
  4. Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
  5. Age: 30
  6. Posts: 11,293
  7. Rep Power: 85259
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
Would only get srs with a single dad if

1) kids are grown and out of the house

or

2) kids are small but guy is very wealthy so all the work can be outsourced to nannies, housekeeper, cook, driver etc and I wouldn’t have to do anything

or

3) it’s Brad Pitt

Anything else no thanks Jessica. Not trying to be anybody’s stepmom. Seems like a total nightmare.
Honestly judging by those three scenarios, your life is literally going to be a pit of despair because your standards are so damn high and on top of that, you don't want to do absolute fuk all, even if it wasn't regarding this scenario of raising another mans kids, you probably would have the top three requirements to raise your own if you even plan to had them before you dried out
if you need someone to chat with, don't hesitate to shoot me a PM.
post 1628213493 01-11-2021, 05:28 AM
-
#11
  1. mesobuild
  2. Premium User
  1. mesobuild
  2. Premium User
  3. Join Date: May 2020
  4. Posts: 17,953
  5. Rep Power: 44402
To the last two, coming from a broken family, absolutely no one wants you to do anything at all for them, not 'raise someone else's child', not assume a 'stepmom' job. They want you to completely disregard their lives and leave them to their own parents or themselves. Nothing at all is much better than any creepy attempts from the non-bio parents.
post 1628213563 01-11-2021, 05:30 AM
-
#12
  1. DesiredUserphag
  2. 1:12TilTheDayIFukinDie
  1. DesiredUserphag
  2. 1:12TilTheDayIFukinDie
  3. Join Date: Sep 2014
  4. Posts: 40,176
  5. Rep Power: 397140
FWB only
𝗣𝗨𝗥𝗘𝗕𝗟𝗢𝗢𝗗
ωσяℓ∂ тяανєℓєя ȼяєω ₅₀/₁₉₅
𝕬𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖞 𝕮𝖚𝖙 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕽𝖆𝖈𝖊 ®
ᗪIᔕᑕᖇIᗰIᑎᗩTIOᑎ E᙭ᑕᒪᑌᔕIOᑎ IᑎᗪOᑕTᖇIᑎᗩTIOᑎ
post 1628213603 01-11-2021, 05:31 AM
-
#13
  1. WoofieNugget
  1. WoofieNugget
  2. Join Date: Jun 2010
  3. Age: 51
  4. Posts: 24,097
  5. Rep Power: 109576
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
Would only get srs with a single dad if

1) kids are grown and out of the house

or

2) kids are small but guy is very wealthy so all the work can be outsourced to nannies, housekeeper, cook, driver etc and I wouldn’t have to do anything

or

3) it’s Brad Pitt

Anything else no thanks Jessica. Not trying to be anybody’s stepmom. Seems like a total nightmare.
This is exactly why I'd have a hard time seriously dating anyone who doesn't have kids of their own. People without simply don't get the responsibility level and can't accept that they will never be the #1 priority person.
post 1628213693 01-11-2021, 05:33 AM
-
#14
  1. Hypernation
  2. Biomed Brah
  1. Hypernation
  2. Biomed Brah
  3. Join Date: Mar 2014
  4. Location: United States
  5. Posts: 6,041
  6. Rep Power: 24794
I’d consider it, but everything would have to line up. It would have to be some sort of cosmically ordained sh it.

She would have to have her chit together.
Career.
Kid(s) well behaved.
Well to do.
10/10 personality and physique.
Gym.

Ya dig?
You have my word as a Schons.
post 1628213803 01-11-2021, 05:36 AM
-
#15
  1. bigcat3655
  2. Registered User
  1. bigcat3655
  2. Registered User
  3. Join Date: Jun 2017
  4. Age: 43
  5. Posts: 10,214
  6. Rep Power: 87942
Da fuk is a YOLO kid?
post 1628213813 01-11-2021, 05:36 AM
-
#16
  1. tornister
  2. Platinum member
  1. tornister
  2. Platinum member
  3. Join Date: Jan 2009
  4. Location: Poland
  5. Age: 39
  6. Posts: 4,380
  7. Rep Power: 20081
Originally Posted By AgentSkyhawk
No. 100% of the Responsiblity, zero authority

brb I'm their dad when im buying them video games, taking them to McDonalds, spoiling them, but if they get outta pocket and these lil mothafcukas gotta get checked, then it's "Don't talk to my kid like that."

Baby daddy gonna be in the picture one way or another.

Then if she has multiple kids by multiple people, she's not responsible, which can also mean she's not responsible about money, so she'll burn your money, along with putting 100% responsibility on you without authority
this ^
post 1628213833 01-11-2021, 05:39 AM
-
#17
  1. plebmaximus
  2. Registered User
  1. plebmaximus
  2. Registered User
  3. Join Date: Nov 2020
  4. Age: 56
  5. Posts: 8,998
  6. Rep Power: 51569
Not raising another man's kid, no thx jeff

even if she's 10/10 in everything, still not gonna raise another man's coom
Lifting Crew
post 1628213993 01-11-2021, 05:44 AM
-
#18
  1. nothingshocking
  1. nothingshocking
  2. Join Date: Jan 2017
  3. Location: Uranus, Gambia
  4. Posts: 36,366
  5. Subscribers: 5
  6. Rep Power: 949957
I thought about it, I dated a woman with a 3-4 year old daughter, I have a couple kids myself.

I did kind of resent her ex still being present in her life, coordinating activities with her daughter - but it wasn't that bad.

She decided she didn't want to have kids with 2 different men, so we never got serious, and it ended in a bit of a flame-out.
post 1628214043 01-11-2021, 05:44 AM
-
#19
  1. Silencespeaks
  2. Banned
  1. Silencespeaks
  2. Banned
  3. Join Date: Aug 2015
  4. Posts: 114,138
  5. Rep Power: 0
Post deleted by user
post 1628214123 01-11-2021, 05:46 AM
-
#20
  1. POTA
  2. Registered User
  1. POTA
  2. Registered User
  3. Join Date: May 2011
  4. Location: Aliso Viejo, California, United States
  5. Posts: 5,779
  6. Rep Power: 27544
You don't have much of a choice these days
post 1628214213 01-11-2021, 05:49 AM
-
#21
  1. mesobuild
  2. Premium User
  1. mesobuild
  2. Premium User
  3. Join Date: May 2020
  4. Posts: 17,953
  5. Rep Power: 44402
Originally Posted By AgentSkyhawk
No. 100% of the Responsiblity, zero authority

brb I'm their dad when im buying them video games, taking them to McDonalds, spoiling them, but if they get outta pocket and these lil mothafcukas gotta get checked, then it's "Don't talk to my kid like that."
Not to mention, if something happens to the child on your watch, you arelegallyresponsible. 100% chance they're going to end up delinquent, and the liability rests on the homeowner for minors. Hit someone in his/her car? Let's see how much money we can extract from your assets.
post 1628214243 01-11-2021, 05:49 AM
-
#22
  1. Polaris
  1. Polaris
  2. Join Date: Feb 2003
  3. Posts: 63,700
  4. Rep Power: 567256
Since you have kids yourself, it does make things a bit different (for a childless guy it's an absolute shyt deal, only exception might be is if she has a shyt ton of money) - and your list is pretty decent I suppose.
post 1628214283 01-11-2021, 05:49 AM
-
#23
  1. AgentSkyhawk
  2. healthy eating disorder
  1. AgentSkyhawk
  2. healthy eating disorder
  3. Join Date: Feb 2010
  4. Age: 35
  5. Posts: 12,543
  6. Rep Power: 28865
Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
Would only get srs with a single dad if

1) kids are grown and out of the house

or

2) kids are small but guy is very wealthy so all the work can be outsourced to nannies, housekeeper, cook, driver etc andI wouldn’t have to do anything

or

3) it’s Brad Pitt

Anything else no thanks Jessica. Not trying to be anybody’s stepmom. Seems like a total nightmare.
So Lets say it's Brad Pitt. How would you be adding value in his life in this case?
"You can trai as had as you want to, but witout the right fel supporting your training and recovery, you will never see the resuts that you should."-ron Man

Oh by the wy...Size f*ckng matters, in everything. Don't believe the hype. Size f*ckin maters. Size DOESN'T matter to peope who dont have any size, that's why they'r like "oh size doesn't mater". SIZE, GIRTH, THICKNESS, EVERYTHING. Its a game of inches in life..add up all those inche, Victory muthaf*cker!-Gre Pitt
post 1628214363 01-11-2021, 05:51 AM
-
#24
  1. goonsondeck
  2. Registered User
  1. goonsondeck
  2. Registered User
  3. Join Date: Aug 2016
  4. Age: 39
  5. Posts: 3,599
  6. Rep Power: 9648
imagine slave waging and commute slaving all fukin day long and coming home to kids yellling and screaming and they aren't even yours!!!

LMFAOOO JUST LOL
post 1628214453 01-11-2021, 05:52 AM
-
#25
  1. Silencespeaks
  2. Banned
  1. Silencespeaks
  2. Banned
  3. Join Date: Aug 2015
  4. Posts: 114,138
  5. Rep Power: 0
Post deleted by user
post 1628214553 01-11-2021, 05:55 AM
-
#26
  1. northernlights7
  2. Banned
  1. northernlights7
  2. Banned
  3. Join Date: Jun 2013
  4. Posts: 24,527
  5. Rep Power: 24
Originally Posted By AgentSkyhawk
No. 100% of the Responsiblity, zero authority

brb I'm their dad when im buying them video games, taking them to McDonalds, spoiling them, but if they get outta pocket and these lil mothafcukas gotta get checked, then it's "Don't talk to my kid like that."

Baby daddy gonna be in the picture one way or another.

Then if she has multiple kids by multiple people, she's not responsible, which can also mean she's not responsible about money, so she'll burn your money, along with putting 100% responsibility on you without authority
Yeah, these are a lot of potential issues with dating single mothers. I once worked with one female who has 3 children, by 2 different fathers. First one was practically a YOLO type baby she had as a young married military wife, a story she claims came about because her first husband was a military guy who cheated on her and is a scumbag in general. I know nothing about that situation beyond what she has said openly by choice just because she felt like it.

Then she got married again and had two more kids by a guy I don't hang with or anything, but can confirm he's a pretty big douchebag. The guy is an abrasive ssshole to basically anyone who he isn't great buddies with. He's clingy and controlling by calling her, I chit you not, to bitch and whine about various bs/keep track of her by calling her at her work like 5 times a day (it seriously got annoying af seeing the clown's name/number show up on the business caller ID and have to pick up and listen to him ask where she's at and to talk to her all the time. She's literally been in tears at her job (I've seen it) numerous times after fighting with her current husband over the phone.

I'm pretty sure they're headed for divorce within 5 years at their current rate. That would put her in her 30's with 3 children by two different ex-husbands of hers, both of whom she'd be calling scumbag asssholes by then. Yet, she still acts like it's crazy if anyone indicates a new, high quality man wouldn't wanf to deal with that type of bs. But I doubt you'd ever see her signing up to get with a guy with her exact own baggage for her to deal with unless the guy was loaded financially lol.
post 1628214763 01-11-2021, 06:00 AM
-
#27
  1. UnderwearBandit
  2. Underwear Banned It
  1. UnderwearBandit
  2. Underwear Banned It
  3. Join Date: Apr 2014
  4. Location: Netherlands
  5. Posts: 4,672
  6. Rep Power: 11978
Fukkin lol at anyone considering this at all
post 1628214853 01-11-2021, 06:02 AM
-
#28
  1. Silencespeaks
  2. Banned
  1. Silencespeaks
  2. Banned
  3. Join Date: Aug 2015
  4. Posts: 114,138
  5. Rep Power: 0
Post deleted by user
post 1628214893 01-11-2021, 06:04 AM
-
#29
  1. Silencespeaks
  2. Banned
  1. Silencespeaks
  2. Banned
  3. Join Date: Aug 2015
  4. Posts: 114,138
  5. Rep Power: 0
Post deleted by user
post 1628215013 01-11-2021, 06:07 AM
-
#30
  1. TopSeason
  2. Registered User
  1. TopSeason
  2. Registered User
  3. Join Date: Jan 2020
  4. Age: 56
  5. Posts: 10
  6. Rep Power: 0
To me if you both of you love each other and she's a wonderful person, why should her kids be a factor to being in a serious relationship?
Quick Navigation Top Misc
Bookmarks
Digg.com
Digg
del.icio.us
del.icio.us
Stumbleupon.com
StumbleUpon
Google.com
Google
Facebook.com
Facebook
Posting Permissions
  1. You may not post new threads
  2. You may not post replies
  3. You may not post attachments
  4. You may not edit your posts