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» Help me fix my gf's broken doggo
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post 1629337953 01-22-2021, 07:14 AM
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Help me fix my gf's broken doggo

So, I've been dating this woman for a few months, she's great, but her dog not so much.

I am sure this dog was never properly trained, but at one time it sounds like it was reasonably behaved, at this point though I think it has decided to live by it's own rules and does not regard her owner as her master, but more like her caretaker.

So, for starters, she is convinced her dog suffers from some type of anxiety. She bought and moved to a nice sized condo in a multi-unit building a little over a year ago. Supposedly this is when the behavioral issues began, but I suspect this is just when she was made aware of them. The dog barks incessantly throughout the day when she is not there. He neighbor is partially deaf, but the dog barks so much and so loud that she began complaining consistently. She didn't take it to the HOA yet, but I probably would if I was her - who the hell wants to hear a neighbors dog bark all day.

So, to help control the anxiety and barking, the dog is medicated.

And now, the dog has a minimum of 1 accident per day. She bought her a diaper and leaves her in that when she goes to work, but the dog has figured out how to take it off. So every single day, there is urine on the new hardwood floors she put in.

The other day, we were standing by the door getting ready to go to work, and the dog stood between us and just started taking a leak. I freaked out, and grabbed the dog by the back of the neck and yelled at her while she was still in the act, she knew what she was doing was wrong.

The dog has also crapped on the floor a few times. The other day I left something at her place and went back within 1/2 hour of leaving and there was a turd on the floor. I pointed at it and yelled at the dog, she slowly hid behind a table and got under a chair - looking guilty as hell, she knew what she did wrong.

The dog is obviously used to a lot of attention from her owner, and she isn't getting it when I'm there. But she will not leave her alone. Constantly jumping on the couch and putting her nose in my gf's face, or hitting her with her paw. Tell her to go to her bed, she doesn't listen. So, I pick her up and put her in her bed. She sits there for a couple minutes and goes back to pestering my gf and whining.

This dog is 10 years old, and unfortunately the life expectance can be another half decade. So, I need to do something to fix this.

Reps for helpful miscers.


Cliffs:
GF has dog
Supposedly dog used to behave more normally, but was never properly trained
Dog barks all day when GF goes to work - GF worried neighors are complaining
GF gives dog medication for anxiety
Dog stops being housebroken, pissed on the floor occasionally
Dog gets worse, begins crapping on the floor and having multiple pissing episodes (4 yesterday)
Dog follows gf around now whining and pawing for attention
GF is surprisingly open to any remedy, we crated her this morning, but the dog would not stop barking and howling and we couldn't leave her like that with the neighbor downstairs.


HELP!!!
post 1629338083 01-22-2021, 07:18 AM
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Is she leaving the house with the dog all excited and barking already? She has to wait until the dog is in a calm, submissive state before she leaves the house.
Does your gf have a lot of anxiety by chance? Dogs feed off of their owners. Sounds like this pupper has excess energy and isn't walked enough.
Any medical issues going on? Seen a vet? Wouldn't hurt to rule that part out.
post 1629338113 01-22-2021, 07:18 AM
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What breed of dog? Could be severe separation anxiety issues. Some breeds don't do too well being left alone for 8 plus hours a day.
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post 1629338253 01-22-2021, 07:20 AM
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dude that sounds absolutely brutal



is it a small dog? i might've missed the breed in your post. . .





assuming it's a small dog, they can be very neurotic if not properly socialized, and it sounds like the dog might also suffer from separation anxiety




seeing as it's 10 years old, it might be "too little too late", but have the dog socialize with other dogs at dog parks. dogs are like people in that if they don't socialize, they become neurotic, anxious, and depressed, and act out like what you are describing (ded fkn Srs)
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post 1629338353 01-22-2021, 07:21 AM
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1.How much is she exercising the dog? How often is it going outside?

2.When she does undesirable behaviors you just tell her "no", or "go to bed"? How do you physically react to the behavior? If you just give her a command or bend to her will you're giving her what she wants. If she tries to paw your girlfriend...You girl friend needs to display it's unwanted behavior by not yielding to it. Turning away, or removing herself. If the dog whines, it whines...Ignore her and she will get the picture. If the dog pisses...don't just grab it by the scruff and tell it no...Grab it by the scruff and put it outside, and leave the bitch out there.

3. Stop medicating the dog
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post 1629338963 01-22-2021, 07:28 AM
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Had a gf with a dog like this. When we moved in together I eventually had to bite the bullet and try to get it under control since she would not.

1. Had to get up an hour earlier to take it on a long ass walk to **** and piss multiple times and get it tired for when we left for work.

2. Had to get more dominant in the master role. She did not discipline it at all. Not saying to take your day out on it, but you know. Sounds like you’re doing that already, esp with the not punishing unless caught in the act. But you gotta put a little fear of god into dogs like that when the time is appropriate.
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post 1629338983 01-22-2021, 07:29 AM
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Originally Posted By nothingshocking
The other day, we were standing by the door getting ready to go to work, and the dog stood between us and just started taking a leak. I freaked out, and grabbed the dog by the back of the neck and yelled at her while she was still in the act, she knew what she was doing was wrong.

The dog has also crapped on the floor a few times. The other day I left something at her place and went back within 1/2 hour of leaving and there was a turd on the floor. I pointed at it and yelled at the dog, she slowly hid behind a table and got under a chair - looking guilty as hell, she knew what
HELP!!!
I can’t fully help. But Holy chit brah. Absolutely do NOT do that. You are only exacerbating the problem. Martoch is moving in the right direction. I bet this sloot gets home all excited and always feeds on his attention. You have to be calm and chill all the time with a dog like that. Exercise the hell out him too
post 1629339123 01-22-2021, 07:31 AM
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Whatever you do, dont hit the dog.

There are behavioral things you can do to get it to stop doing this stuff.
post 1629339243 01-22-2021, 07:32 AM
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Originally Posted By martoch
Is she leaving the house with the dog all excited and barking already? She has to wait until the dog is in a calm, submissive state before she leaves the house.
Does your gf have a lot of anxiety by chance? Dogs feed off of their owners.
Any medical issues going on? Seen a vet? Wouldn't hurt to rule that part out.
The dog has begun to sense when we are going to leave for work. We have the same routine every morning, sitting on the couch having coffee for 30-45 min. The dog begins to whine about 20 min before it's time to leave and gets excited and follows her around getting worried obviously. I don't know that we have the option to leave the dog in a calm submissive state, but I guess we could try to calm her down - but she begins barking when we go down the steps no matter what. I run back up and grab her nose and say no barking (I started doing that every single time I see her bark - it helps, but nothing helps when we are leaving.

My gf went through a bad breakup last winter and I'm sure she logged hundreds of hours on her couch alone with her dog in her lap to get through it. She also had some time on furlough from work this past fall. So I think the dog is used to her being around and more attentive in the past year than usual. But I don't think my gf has significant anxiety, more than the average women.

She had her checked for a UTI in the fall and she didn't have one. She plans to bring her back soon to check again and also for diabetes.
Originally Posted By darkninja67
What breed of dog? Could be severe separation anxiety issues. Some breeds don't do too well being left alone for 8 plus hours a day.
It's some kind of a mutt, but looks like a smaller black mouth cur.

She is also looking into a dog walker, but given that I know the dog took a chit within 30 min of me leaving the other day means that a dog walker coming mid-day won't help the issue.

I believe the dog is acting out as opposed to actually needing to go.

But I think you are probably right - but what can we do about it? She does not get along with other dogs, supposedly due to being attacked when young, so no doggie daycare will take her - she was asked to leave petsmart training due to poor behavior.
post 1629339283 01-22-2021, 07:33 AM
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Originally Posted By RealLifeAlpha
dude that sounds absolutely brutal



is it a small dog? i might've missed the breed in your post. . .





assuming it's a small dog, they can be very neurotic if not properly socialized, and it sounds like the dog might also suffer from separation anxiety




seeing as it's 10 years old, it might be "too little too late", but have the dog socialize with other dogs at dog parks. dogs are like people in that if they don't socialize, they become neurotic, anxious, and depressed, and act out like what you are describing (ded fkn Srs)
The dog is probably about 50 lbs - nor small but not big
post 1629339433 01-22-2021, 07:36 AM
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post 1629339533 01-22-2021, 07:37 AM
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First off, dont grab and yell at the dog. That solves nothing except make it more anxious.

Second, how often does she take the dog outside to do its business and go for a walk? At that age, most dogs will need to go out more often than when they were younger. Older dogs have a harder time controlling their bladder/bowels, and frankly people that dont take those dogs out every 5-6 hours are ****ty owners to begin with, and it sounds like your gf is one of them. She puts a diaper on the dog? Thats ****ed up to begin with. She should either go home at lunch to take her out or hire a dog walk service to come take her out when shes at work. I mean no wonder the dog is barking all day, you would too if you felt like your bladder was going to burst and your retarded owner wasnt there to take you out.
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post 1629339823 01-22-2021, 07:41 AM
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Originally Posted By badbl00d
1.How much is she exercising the dog? How often is it going outside?

2.When she does undesirable behaviors you just tell her "no", or "go to bed"? How do you physically react to the behavior? If you just give her a command or bend to her will you're giving her what she wants. If she tries to paw your girlfriend...You girl friend needs to display it's unwanted behavior by not yielding to it. Turning away, or removing herself. If the dog whines, it whines...Ignore her and she will get the picture. If the dog pisses...don't just grab it by the scruff and tell it no...Grab it by the scruff and put it outside, and leave the bitch out there.

3. Stop medicating the dog
1) the dog goes out every morning when we get up, and twice in the evening when she gets home. Walks have been shorter lately due to cold weather

2) when the bog barks, I grab it's snoot and say no, and I hold the snoot until the dog relaxes, when the dog pesters my gf I tell it to go to it's bed and when it doesn't I physically make it do it. That's essentially what I do every time the dog disobeys, I physically force the dog to do what I told it to do. I think you're right about ignoring the dog, it will be hard to get her to do it, I have suggested it and she does try, but she is a softie and can't keep it up.

3) will consider - we are considering spending more time at my house. If we were at my house, we could let the dog bark all day with no medication. We could also just let her out back since my yard is fenced. The only issue with that is that I am unwilling to allow the dog to piss and chit in my house and I don't trust it for a second.
post 1629340153 01-22-2021, 07:44 AM
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Originally Posted By Archangel_Lost
Had a gf with a dog like this. When we moved in together I eventually had to bite the bullet and try to get it under control since she would not.

1. Had to get up an hour earlier to take it on a long ass walk to **** and piss multiple times and get it tired for when we left for work.

2. Had to get more dominant in the master role. She did not discipline it at all. Not saying to take your day out on it, but you know. Sounds like you’re doing that already, esp with the not punishing unless caught in the act. But you gotta put a little fear of god into dogs like that when the time is appropriate.
Good advice

1. I should probably do the long morning walk and see if I can get this under control enough to bring her to my house.

2. I am definitely trying to take authority with this dog, but my gf won't let me go too far. A little yelling but not enough to make the neighbors worried - no spankings either - but I've never had to spank a dog or my children for that matter - this situation may call for it.
post 1629340213 01-22-2021, 07:45 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
I can’t believe you’re willing to deal with this.

Would ghost a guy with those issues so quick lmao.

Almost worse than a kid.
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post 1629340283 01-22-2021, 07:48 AM
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Don't yell and freak out at the dog. Brb humans not providing training for an animal, brb humans then punish animal for having no training.

I feel sorry for the animal, I have no fuking clue how you Americans do this chit. Brb have a dog, brb leave it alone in a small apartment for 9 hrs per day while you go to work. Obviously it's gonna be confused as fuk when it's just left alone and will have a ton of anxiety.

A dog is a social animal, it needs to be with its pack. It needs to run around and get exercise. You idiots don't even walk the dog? You don't even carry it to a doggy park to play?

Why do so many people think a dog is just a less intelligent human that is there to give you company and once you feed it and take to the vet when it's sick that that's literally the extent of your responsibility? You give it a diaper and has it pissing and chitting on itself all day? Fuking groce dude. I'm just getting angrier writing this post, this animal has been suffering for 10 damn years and you treat it like absolute chit.
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post 1629340453 01-22-2021, 07:50 AM
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post 1629340513 01-22-2021, 07:52 AM
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Originally Posted By blazenbb
I can’t fully help. But Holy chit brah. Absolutely do NOT do that. You are only exacerbating the problem. Martoch is moving in the right direction. I bet this sloot gets home all excited and always feeds on his attention. You have to be calm and chill all the time with a dog like that. Exercise the hell out him too
Yeah, that is part of the problem. My gf wants to make her dog happy, and she plays into whatever the dog does.

The dog gets to decide when it wants what it wants. I want to go out, I go over and paw her. I want a treat, I go over and paw her. That's what I've been trying to work on with her. Take her for her walk before she asks, give her her food and treats on a schedule. don't leave anything for the dog to ask for and when she asks ignore her because you've already taken care of her needs. But the dog has been doing this for 10 years, so it's difficult.
post 1629340523 01-22-2021, 07:52 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
No I’m dead srs.

Why would you want to deal with someone else’s problems and take on a project like that. Don’t you want to enjoy your free time with leisure and relaxation instead of taking over someone else’s problem project?? Your free time and energy are precious and you shouldn’t spend it on those problems.

Just drop the gf - problem solved.

Srs
Not even trolling I 100% agree with this post.
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post 1629340603 01-22-2021, 07:53 AM
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Originally Posted By lnvictus
LOL at not getting Misc crew to walk the dog every single day so he is energy depleted bu the end of the day to be a handful. Or perhaps finding someone with another Ovcharka.
There's no problem at the end of the day - just at the start and during the day.

I hear you on the Ovacharka
post 1629340763 01-22-2021, 07:56 AM
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Originally Posted By nothingshocking
Good advice

1. I should probably do the long morning walk and see if I can get this under control enough to bring her to my house.

2. I am definitely trying to take authority with this dog, but my gf won't let me go too far.
Why is your GF not doing these things if shes had the dog ~10 years?
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post 1629340833 01-22-2021, 07:57 AM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks
No I’m dead srs.

Why would you want to deal with someone else’s problems and take on a project like that. Don’t you want to enjoy your free time with leisure and relaxation instead of taking over someone else’s problem project?? Your free time and energy are precious and you shouldn’t spend it on those problems.

Just drop the gf - problem solved.

Srs
OP likes codependency. it gives him a feeling of being needed. i smell another marriage and divorce coming. i know his type.

A codependent is someone who cannot function on their own and whose thinking and behavior is instead organized around another person, process, or substance. Many codependents place a lower priority on their own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.
post 1629340843 01-22-2021, 07:57 AM
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Originally Posted By nineOHnine
1. Daily exercise (most important).

2. Be Alpha and provide leadership and discipline.
agreed
post 1629341073 01-22-2021, 08:01 AM
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Originally Posted By Voluspa
Why is your GF not doing these things if shes had the dog ~10 years?
she's not a good dog owner and doesn't understand her her behavior is affecting the dog's behavior. she lived in a house before buying this condo, and let the dog out in back, she can't do this here, and when the weather turned cold she shortened the walks

She is open to changing her behavior to improve her dog's behavior - as long as I suggest reasonable changes, she will make them
post 1629341103 01-22-2021, 08:02 AM
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Originally Posted By nothingshocking
It's some kind of a mutt, but looks like a smaller black mouth cur.

She is also looking into a dog walker, but given that I know the dog took a chit within 30 min of me leaving the other day means that a dog walker coming mid-day won't help the issue.

I believe the dog is acting out as opposed to actually needing to go.

But I think you are probably right - but what can we do about it? She does not get along with other dogs, supposedly due to being attacked when young, so no doggie daycare will take her - she was asked to leave petsmart training due to poor behavior.
It's over for you brah. Semi srs. Those cur dogs are smart, high energy and hard headed as fuk which is great for a hunting dog but not so much for an apartment dog. My stepmom's brother has a half cur half aussie named Bear. Every time my dad goes over there when Bear sees the truck leaving he follows my dad back to his house. It doesn't sound that strange until you realize it's 7 miles one way, Bear is 15 years old and he's running like a sled dog the whole time. As soon as he gets to my dad's house my dad just looks at him and says go home Bear and he turns his happy ass around and starts running back. Girlfriend might need to get a treadmill to put the dog on to get that energy out unless one of you feels like taking up marathoning
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post 1629341333 01-22-2021, 08:04 AM
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Originally Posted By TBO1313
Every time my dad goes over there when Bear sees the truck leaving he follows my dad back to his house. It doesn't sound that strange until you realize it's 7 miles one way, Bear is 15 years old and he's running like a sled dog the whole time. As soon as he gets to my dad's house my dad just looks at him and says go home Bear and he turns his happy ass around and starts running back.
Fuking Lol'd, das cute. Mirin energy levels
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post 1629341483 01-22-2021, 08:07 AM
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  1. badbl00d
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  1. badbl00d
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Originally Posted By nothingshocking
1) the dog goes out every morning when we get up, and twice in the evening when she gets home. Walks have been shorter lately due to cold weather

2) when the bog barks, I grab it's snoot and say no, and I hold the snoot until the dog relaxes, when the dog pesters my gf I tell it to go to it's bed and when it doesn't I physically make it do it. That's essentially what I do every time the dog disobeys, I physically force the dog to do what I told it to do. I think you're right about ignoring the dog, it will be hard to get her to do it, I have suggested it and she does try, but she is a softie and can't keep it up.

3) will consider - we are considering spending more time at my house. If we were at my house, we could let the dog bark all day with no medication. We could also just let her out back since my yard is fenced. The only issue with that is that I am unwilling to allow the dog to piss and chit in my house and I don't trust it for a second.
She's going to have to be strong, and not let into her attention seeking behavior. It's going to be hard, believe me I know. What breed is the dog? Have you considered leaving it leashed while in the house? Like if she does something unwanted, don't say a word, just correct her with the leash. Like if jumps on the couch, just take her off. If she barks...take the leash and lead her to the crate. Etc...etc.

Nvm...I read black mouth cur...I have a black mouth cur. Bro you're gonna have to suck it up...Layer up...These are 3 walk a day dogs. They also can take on guard dog characteristics. They're smart and mischievous. They're going to bark, and it's going to take time and work to bring them into the range you want. Good luck.
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post 1629341533 01-22-2021, 08:08 AM
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#28
  1. jbal04
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  1. jbal04
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First and foremost the dog needs to be properly exercised and or mentally stimulated. If it’s cold out etc puzzle toys can be given. You can take kongs and fill with pb then freeze them. You have to start small, try to vary your routine up leave for a minute or 2 then come back. We are creatures of habit so the dog knows the routine of the human and probably begins to get itself worked up. This can not and should not be punished. As a last resort Dogtra makes a nice bark collar that will adjust the level of correction based on the amount of the barking. In before bark collars are inhumane, people get rid of dogs that cause to much trouble barking more humane to correct the dog and keep it in the home IMO.
post 1629342143 01-22-2021, 08:15 AM
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#29
  1. nothingshocking
  1. nothingshocking
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Originally Posted By Coal
Don't yell and freak out at the dog. Brb humans not providing training for an animal, brb humans then punish animal for having no training.

I feel sorry for the animal, I have no fuking clue how you Americans do this chit. Brb have a dog, brb leave it alone in a small apartment for 9 hrs per day while you go to work. Obviously it's gonna be confused as fuk when it's just left alone and will have a ton of anxiety.

A dog is a social animal, it needs to be with its pack. It needs to run around and get exercise. You idiots don't even walk the dog? You don't even carry it to a doggy park to play?

Why do so many people think a dog is just a less intelligent human that is there to give you company and once you feed it and take to the vet when it's sick that that's literally the extent of your responsibility? You give it a diaper and has it pissing and chitting on itself all day? Fuking groce dude. I'm just getting angrier writing this post, this animal has been suffering for 10 damn years and you treat it like absolute chit.
dude, I've been involved with this dog for a few months, not 10 years and I'm trying to fix the situation

It's owner does not know how to be a good owner, but she wants to be.

I've gotten her to take the dog hiking with us on the weekend just about every weekend, but the dog cannot socialize with other dogs. she tries to jump off the leash to go after other dogs.

I can understand your anger, I don't think this dog has been treated properly, and I know I can't just make it be well behaved by yelling. She's not going to get rid of the dog or put her down, and she has no intentions of ever getting another dog

I've had 2 other dogs, and I've tried everything that worked with them - they weren't terribly active dogs though - a pug and a tired black lab mix, and I think this one may have more exercise requirements

She recognizes that moving to this place was a bad idea and the dog would do better with a house and yard - the place needs some additional renovations and she will rent it out and buy a house soon enough.

for the record the dog has never chit in the diaper, just piss, when it chits on the floor it is doing it on purpose
post 1629342303 01-22-2021, 08:18 AM
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#30
  1. tnel00
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  1. tnel00
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OP...im sorry to tell you, but your girlfriend is a retard

Who the **** lives in an apartment with a black mouth cur? You need to either let that dog have full access to outside, or walk/run it for 3 miles or so a day.
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