Yeah she dumped me once & I don't want to be in this situation again. I'm not ignoring her but the way I see it is that she needs to earn another chance with me (Not the other way around)

Because after leaving her 3 years ago I have nothing to show for it and part of me feels responsible, like it's my fault my kids don't have a mother. I know it's not true, but I just think of all the things I could have done to keep their mom in their life even though it meant misery for me. So i guess in a way I feel like I was selfish and my kids are paying for it. I'm just sad for my kids.Rather than just start uping your effort, I think you should talk to her about why it's different this time. Nothing gets a woman more wet than making emotional effort and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. That should give a free pass for a while and she'll realize she has to keep her game up.

Step 1: Validate her feelings.
Step 2: Express your feelings and tell her why it's hard for you to open up again. (scared of it ending up the same way as before.)
Step 3: Tell her you will try to meet her half way. (Then up your game just enough to make her happy, but not become a chump)

Update! Since then we hooked up twice and everything was SLOWLY moving in the right direction (So I thought) Long story short for the last 3 weeks shes been acting distant, non receptive and cold towards me (I'm thinking the EX BF is back in the picture or a new dude) Anyways, She finally reached out to me Saturday and I assumed she wanted to see me so I asked if she wanted to hang out this week and she said yes on Tuesday night..... Today I get a text from her "I've been thinking. I hope you don't get upset but I'm gonna bail for Tuesday. The whole booty call thing-just not who I wanna be. Hope you understand" I tried explaining that it just wasn't a "Booty call thing" then she hits me with "I'm damaged goods. Toxic. You're better off staying away"

WHAT THE FOOK!!! LOL WOW!!! Time to move on???

mhrreturns:It seems like you haven't met her . . I cant feel you mentioned exclusive... In my POV, I need whoever I'm dating to become talking/dating and enthusiastic about different guys. Meaning that when she ends up picking me, then she thinks I am her very best alternative.Zackad:I really think you overdid it with all this texting. If I toss out the very first text, then I will leave this up for her to commence next moment. If she does not put in any attempt, neither do I. Stage. That said, I do not think she is interested.Nedo:

If she enjoys bags and wants a very pleasant one then it is a fantastic concept, but we're going into a new year and you are dating quite a very long moment. At this point together along with my ex-wife I received her Tiffany's necklace. She took off it for like 6 years before it broke as among the twins caught it.SeanGarrity:Glad she eventually managed to discuss it, but you want to be insistent that she does not keep that sort of advice from you. It is not you that is the issue, it is her experience that's the issue, yet she's blaming you. Extremely immature. You aren't responsible for her emotions, she's. (Unless you're intentionally trying to hurt .)JFlakes:It is fine to bring this up first so long as you're fine with her not needing anything serious and shutting down you entirely for this. You need to consider what you would like versus how matters are. You only have to be prepared not to hear exactly what you would like, and even shed the FWB for this.Meralus:Logically you're absolutely totally free to do exactly what you need, but girls are psychological.

Therefore, in the event that you believe her finding out would probably destroy what you own, and that is not exactly what you would like. Then do not take action.NitrogenWidget:It is ingrained in my spirit that I can't put effort into somebody that does not put effort in my experience. I had been like this before I was married, so it has been fairly easy for me not to pursue and get connected easily.Simply putting in as much effort as she can, not merely keeps girls thinking more, but it shields yourself by becoming attached if she is not quite as interested in you because you're in her.Updateate 3 Sunday went much better than the first two together with T. The strategy was supposed to meet up for lunch, and then move up into a local summit to hike/watch the sunset. I consented because I had to pick up presents for my nieces and I guessed she would help. We receive dinner, then visit the mall. Finish all of the shopping in roughly 90 minutes and I asked if she wanted to go until the summit to see the sunset. She consented, and I was really excited since I see that on a transparent day it's possible to view SF along with the GG bridge out of there, and it is like 40 kilometers off.

Crazy. So we driving the mountain up and she starts freaking out as she's fearful of heights. She is playing it cool, so I am not certain how serious she's because I am thinking to myself that we're on the floor, how will she be frightened? Anyhow, we receive about 2/3 of how she requested to stop because she is going to get a heart attack. I believed she was not severe, so that I keep moving and she begins getting more severe, and that is when I understand that if we reach the summit, she is not likely to like it at all and I have ****erectile up.We eventually reach the summit and she is not angry, but I could tell she is not too comfy. I apologize profusely and she melts and we remain and sit in the vehicle and speak for some time, then see the sunset and she mentions it was worthwhile, but she is not performing it again. LOL. We arrive at the floor and that I mention just how much more serene she had been moving down and she explained it was since it had been too dim to see. I realised and informed her that I frankly did not understand how deep she was about being terrified.

She explained she was actually attempting to be courageous because she knew just how much time I put into planning the afternoon and just how much regarding the sunset supposed to me [since I wished to be amorous ] and my goals were very pure. I have not believed that known from soooo ****ing long.We opt to find dinner and we sit another 3 hours speaking before needing to part ways.We will hang Tuesday again because we have the afternoon off, after which on NYE we're visiting a winery NYE occasion and let a room in the winery.Fairly sure this will become a connection. I have already closed down all of my online profiles.

Pondus bumping his nonsense thread with an alt from the year he graduated high school: 91.

Bruh. Literally, every time you've ever accused me of being an alt, it was actually you.

You have way too much time on your hands. No one else on this forum cares enough about me to take the time to troll me and write all that.

But please, continue to post as a man, when you are actually a 16-year-old girl in a 50-year-old woman body.

16? Being generous. Most 16 year olds aren't nearly this cuckoo! 🤪

Just lol that I created an alt to bump your thread. I just happened to see that it was bumped.

Perhaps Kev1972 is your alt and SS is my alt.

When you all say chase, does asking a second time mean chasing to you?

Girl showed tons of interest and one day she asks what I was doing tonight and i suggested we go out for drinks. she said she had to get up so she couldnt. I took that as a NO but shes being really sweet. I mean that could go either way but the other night she was saying how her fridge broke and she keeps her beer outside in the cold and she doesnt want it to freeze..Was that in any way suggesting she wants to get drinks? This was right before she asked if I wanted her to warm up my car?

Should i ask a second time or just let it go?

Perhaps you should shut the **** up. Poll coming.

C'mon brah. Have a sense of humor

It's not chasing if she's reciprocating. She sounds interested to me. If a woman says she is busy but shows interest then it doesn't hurt to keep working your game and then asking again. If she denies you twice and doesn't suggest an alternative, then its time to next. She is just a time-waster.

If a woman asked me if Iwanted her to warm up my car, I would automatically think that was sexual innuendo and go with it.I said, "poll coming." How did you not take it as a joke?

You are way too emotionally invested in me.

Thats what i was thinking too, but how hard is it to say if tonight works..? I really hate asking a second time if they dont suggest an alternative..I got burned too many times this way when I was younger....I prob asked out any girl who gave me their number but wasnt even interested and that made an etch in me.

Yeah you were going to create a poll on here.

Did you ever have lunch with SS?

Call her on it. say, "This is where you propose an alternate time."

If she fumbles that, then you have your answer. Someone else is in the picture and you are her fallback plan. Next.

Always use winkie faces. Bitches love winkie faces.WTF.WEwere supposed to have lunch...

Did you just expose yourself? It makes sense since I despise SS just as much as you.

[QUOTE=pondus_levo;1630086313WTF. WE were supposed to have lunch...

Did you just expose yourself?[/QUOTE]She's a different person. I think it's pretty obvious from how she writes and her preferences in men. Plus she doesn't have kids. People just assume we're the same because we both like young Chads.

Well, good to see you're alive and well Pondus[img]//assets.bodybuilding.com/forum/images/smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Except you know damn well I offered to have lunch withYOU, not SS.

I'm sure you offered to have lunch with SS, too.

Never. You have been exposed.

is there a way to not be the fall back plan? this girl works in my building so everything has been in person so far. She approaches every single time and i think i need to keep doing that has she needs to chase. She still approaches though so the only other thing I can do is ignore her if I didnt want to talk to her. I do know she is talking to other guys. I noticed her one day LOL and once she noticed I had seen her she literally ran away from dude and gave him whiplash to orbit right in front of me while I was talking to someone. Sometimes I wonder if she is just being nice because she knows I like her. Just the way she said something the other day I can tell she knows i like her. Also ever since I asked her out she never calls me by my nick name anymore, she calls me by my real name.

Lol ok Anachron.

What if I am just cordial with her and say Hi but keep walking? I really dont want to be her Buddy but also dont want to be a Dick.

Pondus has his jimmies rustled that SS is sexting a hot 24 year old hockey player. He can't bear her thread lol.

So you've pulled away and she is still orbiting? Women that are disinterested will not do that. When they are disinterested they will let space between you continue to grow.

100% do not be her friend unless you are dating. I think you should have a high value conversation with her and then say something like, "I have to get going, but we should continue this over drinks Friday night."

If she flat out rejects you again, then that's it. On to the next. Don't give her any extra attention.

If you don't want to be her fallback, legit keep any interaction short and sweet and go on your way. Wome that are super interested WILL make time for you when it's not just convenient.

Anachron is Pondus? No wonder he follows SS around and makes her angry.

Have you not caught on yet? We are all Anachron. Except for those that are wincel.

According to OP and his callout thread, I am SS, DLB and the used car salesman lol.

hey pondus

You really suck. You're supposed to be a therapist and rip on DLB's looks. What empathy. Like strong wtf.

Whadduuupppp!