Just made a big mistake at work and I want to feel better about myself.

Jerking off in the bathroom, the outside of the building was being painted and there was a window near the ceiling (12ft ceiling) for natural light. I came on the sink and as I was cleaning up I looked to my left and saw the painter guy outside on a ladder painting above the window, so like I saw all the way from his mid chest to nose. He had to climb up there while I was mid jerk, no doubt he saw me.

Srs, I was so worried he’d tell my bosses, but after thinking about it for hours I figured it’d be super awkward for him as well

Edit: It was a single bathroom btw

Crashed the server which basically eliminated all the work everyone did that day. I was called crash for a year.

That's one way to stop tradies from taking a chit in your toilet.

While delivering pizza I got into a confrontation with some fat kunt woman because I was pissed that she was neglecting her dog. First I told her that she shouldn’t be allowed to own a dog but she pissed me off more so I told her if she can’t take care of a dog she shouldn’t be allowed to be a mother (she had a fat kid).

She got in her car and drove to my store and told my manager everything. I fully expected to get fired but my manager was a bro and just laughed after she left and told me don’t tell women they shouldn’t be mothers lmao. I was right though.

Can't the say occupation I'm in. It's not really a fuk up because the person on the receiving end knew it was coming (nature of our industry)...but yeah I helped channel the message.

Useless post

Got caught banging my coworker by a customer after work was over. They didn't tell on me. Customer shouldn't have been there but the door wasn't locked yet. Good times

Hey sarge you sure this is the terrorist hide out we are about to drone strike right?

Yes it is. Fire away.

Wait whoops it was a hospital.




You know this actually happens right. much bigger fuk ups out there than yours op.

how, I work with degenerates and they know how the game ends

I sent a spreadsheet to the wrong client once which is a data breach. Wasn't too bad in the end since the data wasn't highly sensitive.

I shorted out one of the outlets that a few people were connected to by using a kettle. I'm a bit of a badass

Was playing on my phone while mixer was mixing. Read dough and rocked itself to the corner of table then rocked itself off table smashing through multiple shelves and breaking an 8,000 400lb mixer. Almost threw my back out trying to pick it back up.

So I convinced the CFO that I could eliminate hundreds of hours of work every month by automating a shedload of manual intercompany transactions. This was going to be BIG, maybe I could leverage it into a promo or a bonus at least after all the $$$ this would save.

Of course, it ended up being 350x more complex than I thought with all kinds of methods and variables. DEEP math. It took me months, but eventually I got it done and received buyoff to go live after proving it out in a test environment. I was ready for the champagne.

I kicked it off at about 1AM during a busy close cycle for the first time...and I was off our estimate by $120M.Alarm bells immediately went off, the CFO had to get out bed in the middle of the night and come in, and phone calls to the highest level of the company happened.

They all wanted to know wtf was going on and all I had to offer was,"I dunno. It should have worked. It worked in test... I'll keep looking."

Long story short, I didn't figure it out in time. A team of 10 people had to work the next 50 hours straight to get the transactions in before the deadline. I had to go through about 5 different interrogations like I had crashed a plane full of people.

I rebuilt it and fixed it the following month, but the damage was done. I went from potential hero to total 0. I quit 6 months later and I heard most of the others on my team quit in the following months. That's life in the corporate world, son. Get a helmet.

Holy **** lmao

took down thousands of one of our biggest client's websites all at once

Caught someone’s house on fire soldering 3/4” copper in a tee wall.

Epic

Some retard accidentally sent out a warning message for an incoming nuclear strike for an entire state, effectively telling over a million people they had less than 10 minutes to live.

That is the official story anyways. The conspiracy theory is the emergency management system was hacked.

Sounds stressful, have you considered a trade?

Deleted 10k user accounts on accident last week effectively taking an entire sector of our company offline during remote work. Accounts were down for 5 hours. That's 50k man hours lost.

Working on some old Chevy Cavalier. Cleaning down the engine because of an oil leak I just fixed. Have the engine totally soaked with break clean, a puddle under it. It's running. KABOOM lifts the car off the lift, blows out windows, huge fireball. Amazing as it is, the car wasn't even singed. All fumes. Put it out with fire estinguishers and the customer was just happy because he got his car detailed for free.

Another one, I was mad, opened a garage door and there was a fire sprinkler behind the door and it went past the stops, hit the line, and blew the fire sprinkler system. That was a lot of water.

do people outside of IT department ever find out you did these fuk ups or do you guys just lie and say it was an incompatible update or some random jargon until you can fix it.

One of my first jobs, age 16. Snack bar at a roller rink.

Cleaner is cleaner right?

Um, except one was bleach based and one was ammonia based.

After closing so no customers around.

Got involved in a love triangle with two girls in the office and was subsequently fired.

Tradie life??

I don't know I haven't been back

They fired you for that? wtf man.

Got hammered one night

Went out to 4am

Came back in the office in the same suit because I slept at some random girls house

Got sent home for being drunk

My boss was cool - "he's just like, sleep it off. Come back after lunch and don't let it happen again"

It's a really fuked up long story man ...It wasn't smashing the office girls that did it but some stuff that happened as a result

Basically, if I hadn't gotten involved with the one girl I'd still be at that job