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Forum » Did you lose the ability to connect with people as you grew up?
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Thread: Did you lose the ability to connect with people as you grew up?

post 1634193883 03-19-2021, 11:10 PM
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Did you lose the ability to connect with people as you grew up?

I mean that special spark that you had with friends in elementary/middle/high school. At those times it felt real like actual friends who can trust each other. After it feels like everyone cares about themselves and doesn't really care about you unless you ahve something to offer.
post 1634194023 03-19-2021, 11:12 PM
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lol 11000000000000000000000000101012102010%

been thinking about this so much lately

I never understood when people said it's harder to make friends as you get older, until the past couple months

To me, it's not harder to make friends, but these "friends" are not the same as the ones you had as a kid/teenager, something is just missing, idk what it is

I have alot of friends, but I wouldn't consider most of them real friends, like my friends from HS/early college
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post 1634194143 03-19-2021, 11:15 PM
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Haven’t really had this since the age of 12

During my teens I had friends but always felt on the outer
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post 1634194973 03-19-2021, 11:32 PM
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Sounds like you're butthurt because you have nothing to offer
post 1634195273 03-19-2021, 11:39 PM
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Originally Posted By stevemckenna⏩
Sounds like you're butthurt because you have nothing to offer
not butthurt but its true i dont really have anything to offer.
post 1634195483 03-19-2021, 11:43 PM
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I think one of the issues is that when we’re young we have a lot of shared and similar experiences with the people around us. We’re in school, sports, etc. with kids the same age, with similar socioeconomic status, values, acquaintances, etc.

It’s easier to make friends with people we have something in common with. You know the difference between a date with a girl who isn’t fun and you’re struggling to keep any reasonable conversation going (like if you’re going to be a dumb bish at least get hammered and be fun) versus a girl who you find something in common with and end up spending 15 mins talking about just that which spirals into other related things you both also have in common and there’s instant chemistry?

In the adult world we’re exposed to more people with less and less similarities to us. It simply takes more active work or luck to find people we relate with well on a deep level. Hell I still play rugby which is a pretty specific niche and only about 5-6 guys that I know over a decade of playing are guys I consider close.
post 1634196003 03-19-2021, 11:59 PM
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Originally Posted By stevemckenna⏩
Sounds like you're butthurt because you have nothing to offer
That's the point though, childhood friends are friends because you like their personality, adult friends worry about status and what you are doing for them.
post 1634196313 03-20-2021, 12:07 AM
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Originally Posted By MilkforBrains⏩
That's the point though, childhood friends are friends because you like their personality, adult friends worry about status and what you are doing for them.
Well yeah, it's common sense. You're not going to be friends with bums, junkies, or leeches. The only adults who would have problems with that are bums, junkies and leeches.
post 1634197663 03-20-2021, 12:38 AM
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Once school ended all of my friends from high school and college parted away. They're either working or doing nothing. I haven't talked to one of my friends in years and I'm okay with it. I just know now they we weren't that close to begin with. We all were very different people. I only cared about chasing after women anyways, they were only really there to socialize about it.
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post 1634198013 03-20-2021, 12:48 AM
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yes becoming an oldcel generally just sucks srs
post 1634198753 03-20-2021, 01:09 AM
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Originally Posted By PMgreyjoggs⏩
yes becoming an oldcel generally just sucks srs
I disagree. As an old cell I play music with a lot of other older folk's. We're all old and ugly and so jealousy, dating, competition all goes out the window and we just have fun and play tunes with each other. We're all from different backgrounds and employment but our shared interest in the music we play brings us together. A pretty cool group.
I moved a lot in my life and have friends, few close, all over the world. One thing I've tried to do the last few years is reconnect with friends from Grade School, High School, College, Graduate School, and places I've worked at. It's been fun and I've been able to reestablish relationships with many people that I use to know well. I find getting older to be quite fun even if certain body parts like to complain about things when I get up.
post 1634199323 03-20-2021, 01:31 AM
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Thankfully I’m still close with my friends from highschool. Haven’t made a new friend in like 9 years.
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post 1634209073 03-20-2021, 08:36 AM
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Yeah I can't relate to older people at all

Can't believe I'm 32 but still feel stuck at 23
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post 1634209683 03-20-2021, 08:51 AM
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Originally Posted By xbluexhawkx⏩
lol 11000000000000000000000000101012102010%

been thinking about this so much lately

I never understood when people said it's harder to make friends as you get older, until the past couple months

To me, it's not harder to make friends, but these "friends" are not the same as the ones you had as a kid/teenager, something is just missing, idk what it is

I have alot of friends, but I wouldn't consider most of them real friends, like my friends from HS/early college
Yea I don't think I'll ever make the same friends as I did in middle/high school.

Those guys are still my friends but I live 500 miles away now. I think it was mainly due to what we did - hanging out and doing dumb chit all the time. Also the smoking and drinking and partying all the time. Always trying to get into something.

Now everyone is just trying to put another dollar in their bank account and never have any fun.
post 1634210833 03-20-2021, 09:22 AM
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Sad but true.

The shared experiences above poster is right. I've made good friends through work since we've been through the same bullchit. It's this foundation and forced time together that gives both of you something to relate to while also broadening your relation.

However, being older with families also make it harder to ever have the same types of super loyal friendship you experienced when younger.
post 1634211413 03-20-2021, 09:40 AM
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when you're young it's easy to connect as you can just get smashed drunk and just party with people


when you're older the 'partying' consists of going to a bar and having a chat about chit you don't really give a fuk about, work, wives kids

and really i just can't be bothered doing that


edit: and generally people are just more boring the older they get
post 1634211813 03-20-2021, 09:49 AM
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Yeah but I don’t feel it’s my fault. I don’t know how most of America is but where I live I really don’t want to be friends with people. I didn’t graduate college so I’m not in that rich bracket and I never married so I don’t have married friends and stuff like that. Most people here are either black and gang banging or big on drugs or they steal or they are plane just dangerous. I’m too old to be in the car with sone dude getting hammered on A weekday driving 140 on the interstate with drugs in the car. I’m not sure why I struggle meeting females though. I think it’s my background.
post 1634211853 03-20-2021, 09:50 AM
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Originally Posted By xbluexhawkx⏩
To me, it's not harder to make friends, but these "friends" are not the same as the ones you had as a kid/teenager, something is just missing, idk what it is
The fact that as a kid youre all naive and innocent to pretty much every external factor.

Theres zero thought or care you go to school and you make friends with kunts... Older you get more life and BS is thrown in
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post 1634211863 03-20-2021, 09:50 AM
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Would say that I lost it for a long time but it has actually come back over the last few years. I’ve made some really good friends through work, friends close enough to attend each other’s weddings and go on vacations with. People who I’d actually opt to spend time with outside of work
post 1634212283 03-20-2021, 10:00 AM
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Nope. That skill for me has been steadily increasing my entire life, as should be the case with everyone if you're moving forward and not stagnating or regressing. If you find you're engaging in the latter 2, get off the internet, quit making excuses, and go outside and communicate with other human beings.
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post 1634212633 03-20-2021, 10:07 AM
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Only on misc. It hasn't been the same since 2015 tbfh
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post 1634212653 03-20-2021, 10:08 AM
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Fuk off with your stranger things chit
post 1634212763 03-20-2021, 10:10 AM
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Originally Posted By Immichaelski⏩
Yeah but I don’t feel it’s my fault. I don’t know how most of America is but where I live I really don’t want to be friends with people. I didn’t graduate college so I’m not in that rich bracket and I never married so I don’t have married friends and stuff like that. Most people here are either black and gang banging or big on drugs or they steal or they are plane just dangerous. I’m too old to be in the car with sone dude getting hammered on A weekday driving 140 on the interstate with drugs in the car. I’m not sure why I struggle meeting females though. I think it’s my background.
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post 1634213193 03-20-2021, 10:21 AM
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Originally Posted By stevemckenna⏩
Well yeah, it's common sense. You're not going to be friends with bums, junkies, or leeches. The only adults who would have problems with that are bums, junkies and leeches.
Depends tbh. Some people don't live up to the stereotype and can be functional alcoholics and opaite addicts. Used to work with a raging alcoholic back in the day and he was always on time, always being a good guy, only with booze on his breath on a Monday morning. Actually respected him for never letting his issues impact other people around him. His only victims were his red face and his liver.
post 1634213203 03-20-2021, 10:21 AM
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As we age we have more emotional scars and baggage to deal with..rejection, abandonment, betrayal, etc...it's not as easy to go into relationships with the same blind trust that we had when we were younger....especially when it comes to females.
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post 1634215513 03-20-2021, 11:12 AM
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Originally Posted By trapspot⏩
If you are frustrated with your environment, whether it be a lack of sloots or an abundance of criminal elements, then it is your masculine imperative to change that environment
A guy in Atlanta just did that
post 1634219713 03-20-2021, 12:27 PM
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Originally Posted By PMgreyjoggs⏩
yes becoming an oldcel generally just sucks srs
"As time goes by" hey!!?
post 1634219803 03-20-2021, 12:28 PM
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Originally Posted By MatthewChav⏩
"As time goes by" hey!!?
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post 1634223423 03-20-2021, 01:32 PM
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Complete opposite for me.

As I became older, I started to find myself more. I barely connect with the friends I had as the younger version of myself. I'm the adventurous, risky type while they are the routine, sort of in a sense boring types. I realized that college is sort of a mirage as well, it forces people sometimes to be someone that they really aren't.

As you get older as well (this applies more towards your late 20's-early 30's) you are around alot more people who have a IDGAF kind of lifestyle because at that point you are what you are. It's been easier to find people who can relate to me at 31 than at 21 to be perfectly honest.

Just my personal experience though. I feel like something like this can totally vary depending on who you are.
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