Ngl a lot of things I would do was to impress women. Get that job=money=women etc. How do I start making life about myself? I get bored easily so I use women as a crutch (yes ik). How do I TRULY enjoy my own company? Just keep busy? Been in a mental rut and pay attention to what everyone else is doing rather than focusing on what I should be doing

You gotta kinda know when to stop the stimuli, stop the socializing, and just think to yourself for a bit and self reflect. People are all about occupying their time with something, even idle time being put towards your electronics for example. Gotta start to have internal conversations with yourself and let your mind think about you and how you're doing in life, what you need to do more, what you're proud of yourself for, and to dream a little about the future and what it takes to get there.

There are things greater than yourself or gettin poosay, there's always something greater than ourselves that we can pursue. If you want to enjoy your own company then find something that gives you satisfaction more than money or women. If your goal is just to focus on yourself, then just spend less time scrolling through social media posts. Chit is literally addictive like cigarettes.

Thanks man

An insecure person will always seek validation from others. Start working on your self confidence, accomplish chit, get money, get better looking, reach your goals and you will become a more secure positive person. Then you won't live life for the approval of others, you just do it for yourself.

I think my problem is that I want to be perceived as enjoying my own company by women. I just wanna be content by myself soooo fkn bad--that's a great point

Thanks brah srs

Edit: I didn't used to be like this either. Funny how when you chase women they're nowhere to be found vs the opposite. Damn I need to stop thinking about them for a little while but it's hard

If you want women, you need to go out of your comfort zone and try to get with women. That means asking them out. Whether in person or through dating apps or social media.
That means getting rejected and taking the hits. It sucks but you roll with the punches, you learn from your mistakes (if you made any) and you try again.
The more women you approach, the higher the chance of getting someone to say yes.

In the mean time, you work on your social skills, your game, your humor, your financial situation and also your looks. (although a ripped physique is near the bottom of what matters to women).
Eventually you'll get better and increase your own value as a male. Women will want a guy who is desirable. So work your ass off, become the best version you can possibly become, don't be a pussy, don't fear rejection and keep moving forward.

The ones who never get a girlfriend, are the incels who have no value and instead of increasing their value, they rather complain on a forum like this about how life is unfair.
Don't be like those *******s. You want a hot girlfriend? Go out there and get one. But you have to earn it. It takes work, effort, courage and a little bit of luck. But you create your own luck by putting yourself out there.

I got a few numbers this week but they're playing so many mind games--hate dealing with that chit. My ex was pretty fine but I got super complacent in that relationship and now I'm in a grass is greener scenario. I can talk to any woman and they usually give me their number--the hard part is them getting to meet up for a date or whatever. Solid advice though

Edit: I think it's the fact that I haven't hit on ENOUGH--but at that point my mind will start saying I'm desperate and I'll stop for a little bit because 'I don't need a woman to have fun'.

Use the 5 x Whys technique. Before you do anything, ask yourself Why you're doing it five times.

Example: you go to learn kickboxing

1)why?

To defend yourself

2) why defend yourself?

in case of a bad situation it's good go to know how to hit

3) why hit someone?

so I don't look like a *******

4) why you dont want to look like a *******?

because im worried what people think of me

5) why worried what people think of me?

because daddy didn't love me


^ srs

Generally speaking, we do things because they will return a desirable outcome.
Sounds like you desire women. There's nothing wrong with that.
We attribute purpose to everything we do, that's why we do it. The purpose of your pursuits is attracting women. Simply assign a different, more powerful motivating factor to your pursuits.

I'll give you a personal example. I get extremely depressed in winter time. Avoiding this pain has motivated me to find a job that allows remote work.

Doing things to get women isn't a bad thing. There are private hobbies you can engage in to receive an intrinsic reward, something like running or art or making music.

But something like money and things that we consider classical 'success', are social constructs, and we only feel good about them because we know other people also value them.

It would be difficult to value the achievement of the social construct of classical success if we detached social validation from it.

A little weird to think about.

It's all a game, and being aware of it is the first step to detachment. You can still play the game, but now with a different perspective.