Thread: Plot Twist: Is This Real Life?
05-03-2021, 07:18 AM
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#1
Plot Twist: Is This Real Life?
I don't know who is writing this novel, but damn. So much drama in my life and I haven't been the origin of any of it. Divorce, terminal cancer/death of my mom, global pandemic...moved a couple of times in there too...all started autumn '17.
Took my lunch from work yesterday about 3 pm. Ordered food, sat down, and looked at my phone. Multiple calls and an IM from my daughter. Called her right away.
My ex had a heart attack and died yesterday morning. He was 44. He was at a GF's house. My daughter was home [seems she has been alone overnights on weekends when he goes to see his GF] and said she had just spoken to him on the phone an hour before he passed. Said he sounded, or said, that he was tired, but had been fine.
Drove back to work and told them I had to leave right now. Got a flight out at 6:30, showered and threw stuff in a bag. Made it here a little after 10 PM local. My poor in-laws are crushed. They are mid-70s and in declining health; seem to have aged a lot since I saw them last.
On the plane once the news started to sink in a little I was hit with good memories from early in the relationship with him. Crying in a face mask sucks.
The one good thing is that I've never had any static with the in-laws [no reason to] and I think we are all on the same team- take care of the kid.
Another "bolt from the blue".
Misc parents love on your kids and be good to their mom/dad 'cause you just don't know.
Keeping paperwork straight and passwords written somewhere would be good too. He was a tech guy and there are so many unknown passwords. Even the thermostat for the house which he had connected to his phone.
Took my lunch from work yesterday about 3 pm. Ordered food, sat down, and looked at my phone. Multiple calls and an IM from my daughter. Called her right away.
My ex had a heart attack and died yesterday morning. He was 44. He was at a GF's house. My daughter was home [seems she has been alone overnights on weekends when he goes to see his GF] and said she had just spoken to him on the phone an hour before he passed. Said he sounded, or said, that he was tired, but had been fine.
Drove back to work and told them I had to leave right now. Got a flight out at 6:30, showered and threw stuff in a bag. Made it here a little after 10 PM local. My poor in-laws are crushed. They are mid-70s and in declining health; seem to have aged a lot since I saw them last.
On the plane once the news started to sink in a little I was hit with good memories from early in the relationship with him. Crying in a face mask sucks.
The one good thing is that I've never had any static with the in-laws [no reason to] and I think we are all on the same team- take care of the kid.
Another "bolt from the blue".
Misc parents love on your kids and be good to their mom/dad 'cause you just don't know.
Keeping paperwork straight and passwords written somewhere would be good too. He was a tech guy and there are so many unknown passwords. Even the thermostat for the house which he had connected to his phone.
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05-03-2021, 07:26 AM
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#2
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05-03-2021, 07:29 AM
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#3
- Sinan09400
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No its a simulation.
We are inside a zoo controlled by superior beings. They make experiments on us
We are inside a zoo controlled by superior beings. They make experiments on us
05-03-2021, 07:36 AM
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#4
- samsbolton
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is it a good time to ask about alimony/inheritance/health insurance that might still be in your name rather than the strumpet he ditched you for?
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05-03-2021, 07:37 AM
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#5
- JUGGERNAUT1333
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Damn, very sorry for the loss OP. Been a hard stretch for you.
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05-03-2021, 07:46 AM
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#6
05-03-2021, 07:47 AM
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#7
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Sorry for your loss. I wouldn't waste time trying to make sense of it all. Just keep your head up and keep on keepin on
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05-03-2021, 07:50 AM
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#8
- donblaximus
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Damn, as others have said, sorry you are going through all of this. It seems you have a good head on your shoulders. Still keeping relationship with his family, not completely trashing your ex, etc. I hope you and your daughter will be able to pull through to the other side and see brighter days ahead.
I try to spend as much time with my children as I can. I chose to have children later in life so that money wouldnt get in the way of my time with them. Makes me mad thinking about leaving your child behind so you can go spend time with a GF honestly.
I try to spend as much time with my children as I can. I chose to have children later in life so that money wouldnt get in the way of my time with them. Makes me mad thinking about leaving your child behind so you can go spend time with a GF honestly.
05-03-2021, 07:51 AM
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#9
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Realize that you are very likely to suffer from a stress related illness in the near future. Do what you can to mitigate.
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05-03-2021, 07:55 AM
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#10
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Sorry to hear that OP. 44 is too young.
How long since the separation?
How long since the separation?
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05-03-2021, 08:11 AM
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05-03-2021, 08:21 AM
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Keep your head up OP.
Things will get better.
Things will get better.
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05-03-2021, 08:24 AM
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#13
05-03-2021, 08:41 AM
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05-03-2021, 08:50 AM
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#15
- OntheClockNE
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Damn, sorry to hear that. Keep your head up.
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05-03-2021, 09:30 AM
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#16
- dfprodz
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Goodness
Stay strong OP. Really sorry for the chain of events. Your daughter needs you more than ever, and as long as you push through, you will pull it through
Stay strong OP. Really sorry for the chain of events. Your daughter needs you more than ever, and as long as you push through, you will pull it through
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05-03-2021, 12:02 PM
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#17
Thanks to everyone for the support. I've been working on cleaning and doing what I can to lighten the load for his parents.
I believe he had some amount of life insurance provided by his employer that was designated to go to his parents and our daughter. I don't believe there will be much unless the house sells for a high amount.
Originally Posted By samsbolton⏩
My alimony/child support ends immediately AFAIK. It was supposed to continue until our daughter finishes high school in 3 years. I understand she should be available for something from social security until she is 18; 15 now.is it a good time to ask about alimony/inheritance/health insurance that might still be in your name rather than the strumpet he ditched you for?
I believe he had some amount of life insurance provided by his employer that was designated to go to his parents and our daughter. I don't believe there will be much unless the house sells for a high amount.
Originally Posted By donblaximus⏩
Thanks. And I'm not happy about it myself, but nothing to be done at this point. Plan to try and focus on positive stuff about him for my daughter.Damn, as others have said, sorry you are going through all of this. It seems you have a good head on your shoulders. Still keeping relationship with his family, not completely trashing your ex, etc. I hope you and your daughter will be able to pull through to the other side and see brighter days ahead.
I try to spend as much time with my children as I can. I chose to have children later in life so that money wouldnt get in the way of my time with them. Makes me mad thinking about leaving your child behind so you can go spend time with a GF honestly.
I try to spend as much time with my children as I can. I chose to have children later in life so that money wouldnt get in the way of my time with them. Makes me mad thinking about leaving your child behind so you can go spend time with a GF honestly.
Originally Posted By keyboardworkout⏩
Quite possible. I've certainly had plenty of stress. Not likely to let up anytime soon.Realize that you are very likely to suffer from a stress related illness in the near future. Do what you can to mitigate.
Originally Posted By TXBuddy⏩
He asked for the divorce late 2017, living apart since early 2018, divorce finalized early 2019.Sorry to hear that OP. 44 is too young.
How long since the separation?
How long since the separation?
Originally Posted By dan06lcm⏩
There aren't any easy losses, but losing a parent is very hard. Can't imagine getting hit with that at 15.Sorry for your loss OP. 2020 was the worst year I've ever had with my dad passing from a heart attack out of nowhere.
Originally Posted By dfprodz⏩
This is the plan. Gotta make it somehow.Goodness
Stay strong OP. Really sorry for the chain of events. Your daughter needs you more than ever, and as long as you push through, you will pull it through
Stay strong OP. Really sorry for the chain of events. Your daughter needs you more than ever, and as long as you push through, you will pull it through
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05-03-2021, 12:08 PM
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#18
- Glutebrahhh
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Sorry to hear that Katya
Your family is lucky to have you. No doubt in my mind you'll be a good rock for everyone, especially your daughter.
Misc always got your back.
Your family is lucky to have you. No doubt in my mind you'll be a good rock for everyone, especially your daughter.
Misc always got your back.
05-03-2021, 12:10 PM
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#19
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Originally Posted By katya422⏩
Sorry OP. That just plain sucks.Thanks to everyone for the support. I've been working on cleaning and doing what I can to lighten the load for his parents.
My alimony/child support ends immediately AFAIK. It was supposed to continue until our daughter finishes high school in 3 years. I understand she should be available for something from social security until she is 18; 15 now.
I believe he had some amount of life insurance provided by his employer that was designated to go to his parents and our daughter. I don't believe there will be much unless the house sells for a high amount.
My alimony/child support ends immediately AFAIK. It was supposed to continue until our daughter finishes high school in 3 years. I understand she should be available for something from social security until she is 18; 15 now.
I believe he had some amount of life insurance provided by his employer that was designated to go to his parents and our daughter. I don't believe there will be much unless the house sells for a high amount.
On a positive note the social security you'll receive for your daughter is based on his earnings so if he was pulling down some srs scratch it will be significant
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05-03-2021, 12:25 PM
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#20
05-03-2021, 12:27 PM
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#21
- redraider86
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I'm so sorry to hear that news. Your team Numbero Uno plans sound pretty damn good to me, just be there for your daughter.
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05-03-2021, 12:41 PM
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#22
05-03-2021, 03:29 PM
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#23
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Originally Posted By katya422⏩
not to be insensitive but are you absolutely certain he is dead? Not trying to escape child support etc?My alimony/child support ends immediately AFAIK. It was supposed to continue until our daughter finishes high school in 3 years. I understand she should be available for something from social security until she is 18; 15 now.
I believe he had some amount of life insurance provided by his employer that was designated to go to his parents and our daughter. I don't believe there will be much unless the house sells for a high amount.
I believe he had some amount of life insurance provided by his employer that was designated to go to his parents and our daughter. I don't believe there will be much unless the house sells for a high amount.
2023 bertie awards 2024 nominations
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05-03-2021, 04:14 PM
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#24
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I’m sorry for your loss, stay strong for your daughter
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05-03-2021, 04:37 PM
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#25
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I'm sorry for your loss. I'm even more sorry for your daughter's loss.
I feel for his parent as well.
I feel for his parent as well.
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05-03-2021, 04:46 PM
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#26
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Sorry for loss, op.
Originally Posted By samsbolton⏩
You are a piece of sht.not to be insensitive but are you absolutely certain he is dead? Not trying to escape child support etc?
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05-03-2021, 04:47 PM
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#27
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Originally Posted By Sinan09400⏩
Prison planetNo its a simulation.
We are inside a zoo controlled by superior beings. They make experiments on us
We are inside a zoo controlled by superior beings. They make experiments on us
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05-04-2021, 06:12 AM
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#28
Originally Posted By samsbolton⏩
not to be insensitive but are you absolutely certain he is dead? Not trying to escape child support etc?
Originally Posted By jamalfudge⏩
Eh, I thought it was funny. I'm a classy lady, but also a miscer...inside thoughts.Sorry for loss, op.
You are a piece of sht.
You are a piece of sht.
Thanks again for the kind words. Got some sleep last night and didn't wake up with a stiff neck. Looks likely I will "inherit" the good pillow anyway. It is super old; one of the very first memory foam pillows and it is heavy.
It is very strange to be back in the house. It's a good house. I still like it and I'm the one that found it. Very quiet, seems well built, and the solar orientation is about perfect. The kitchen is on the northeast corner and is bright in the morning. The back of the house faces south and the family room and both small bedrooms have south windows, while the main bedroom has a west window so it has natural light still later in the day. A little bit small [1000 sq. ft], with not enough closet space and a really dinky kitchen; laundry down a kind of steep staircase.
My daughter loves this house and if my ex would have let me stay here instead of making me move out then so much would have been easier for all of us. I could have moved my mom in here while she was ill/dying. Couldn't do that when I was in an upstairs condo with only two small bedrooms. Wouldn't have had to give up the condo and move across the country from where my daughter wants to stay and go to school. Wouldn't have been split apart from each other during COVID restrictions.
But here we are, and I don't see any way I could make everything work out so that she could stay here. The costs and the logistics are just too much. So we have to keep on and make a new story someplace else.
MI is really a beautiful place from sometime in May until about Christmas.
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05-04-2021, 06:22 AM
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#29
- dontstopbelief
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Misc prayers for you, please watch over your daughter.
I've always wanted to say u have beautiful looking breasts.
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05-04-2021, 06:49 AM
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#30
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Very sorry to hear but it helps that you are on good terms with his family.
I wrote down account information, etc. that I update as needed and keep it in a safe. With a lot of bills and statements being handled electronically now it's not as easy as waiting for a bill to show up in the mail anymore.
I wrote down account information, etc. that I update as needed and keep it in a safe. With a lot of bills and statements being handled electronically now it's not as easy as waiting for a bill to show up in the mail anymore.
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