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Forum » NEWSFLASH: You will never be an 17th-century pirate. So why even live?
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Thread: NEWSFLASH: You will never be an 17th-century pirate. So why even live?

post 1643421183 07-22-2021, 09:17 PM
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#1
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NEWSFLASH: You will never be an 17th-century pirate. So why even live?

Ye dare be hovering, ye scalleywags?!
[]

Press play on dis






Bros there's something extremely comfy about pirate books, movies, tv shows, games, and just the general history & lore of early colonial pirate history.




Brb, drinking rum in a hammock all day
Brb, actually have a parrot on your shoulder because that's how you advertised that you were selling parrots
Brb, seeing your favorite wench or barmaid while piratey-times music would be playing
Brb, following treasure maps
Brb, capturing ships
Brb, just going for a walk in colorful colonial towns, erryone in tricorner hats and colorful leather & linen sperrys & polos
Brb, even manlets did well during such times



Having to walk through town late at night, and needing to bring some pirate bros along for protection



When will it be my turn to search for cursed aztec gold



And visit islands that nobody had ever been too before



Find a nice girl, buy her a toucan



Oh well, back to my wage cage in the morning...


EDIT: In retrospect play this as you scroll below
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Glow, glow, glow your boat
post 1643421293 07-22-2021, 09:21 PM
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  1. johnnyboi123
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because you can still be a 21st century butt pirate
post 1643421413 07-22-2021, 09:24 PM
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  1. iabs
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Just imagine the fuking smell. (srs)
300 Forever
post 1643421623 07-22-2021, 09:31 PM
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Fukkkk when you put it that way I'm wondering if an extension cord could hold my weight

Tfw you realize you were born in the wrong time period to meet peter pan
Best lifts:
Bench press: 315x5
Squat: 465x1
Strict press: 205x5
Deadlift: 405x13 (conv tap'n'go with straps)
post 1643421663 07-22-2021, 09:32 PM
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  1. LurkoLantern
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Originally Posted By iabs⏩
Just imagine the fuking smell. (srs)
I dunno - our olfactory senses are designed to detect changes in odor, rather than odor themselves. I remember reading about how the concept of “bad breath” was something listerine invented in the 1960s.
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Glow, glow, glow your boat
post 1643421723 07-22-2021, 09:35 PM
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I got some bad news op

*SoClose*
post 1643421773 07-22-2021, 09:36 PM
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#7
  1. MetroBrah
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Originally Posted By LurkoLantern⏩
I dunno - our olfactory senses are designed to detect changes in odor, rather than odor themselves. I remember reading about how the concept of “bad breath” was something listerine invented in the 1960s.
same thing with deodorant. Or rather, they made having a body odor out to be "bad". Being a pungent high test male was pretty normal at first
post 1643421783 07-22-2021, 09:37 PM
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#8
  1. Avalanche3319
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Originally Posted By iabs⏩
Just imagine the fuking smell. (srs)
Movie Man
Book Brah
Game Guy
Bike Boyo
post 1643421843 07-22-2021, 09:38 PM
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#9
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Would’ve been dope to be a pirate. Getting yucky with the boys. Stealing from Spain and England. Raping sloots all around the Caribbean. Finding the sickest treasure.
post 1643421913 07-22-2021, 09:42 PM
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#10
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You also never be 26 and Rich and retired.
I'm not here for rage. I'm here for revenge!
Anti Covid VAX Superhero
Mein power
Mein pleasure
Mein pain
Trump 2020
Trump 2024
post 1643421933 07-22-2021, 09:42 PM
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▪█─────█▪ Equipment Crew #53 ▪█─────█▪
^^^^^^^ 6' 6" and Over Crew ^^^^^^^
------------- No Vax Crew ----------------
post 1643423243 07-22-2021, 10:05 PM
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playing sea of thieves actually, so close enough i suppose
post 1643423343 07-22-2021, 10:07 PM
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Arrr sailing the world in search of booty.
post 1643423813 07-22-2021, 10:17 PM
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Originally Posted By DrumsNotDead⏩
playing sea of thieves actually, so close enough i suppose
I’ve been considering this. How is it? Plz review
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Glow, glow, glow your boat
post 1643442473 07-23-2021, 08:13 AM
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#15
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You'll never walk around Monkey Island at a time when 8bit graphics were new



You will never sail Captain Hook's ship to Pirate Island




You'll never be the misc mascot yelling at monkeys with your...."roomate"
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Glow, glow, glow your boat
post 1643442963 07-23-2021, 08:21 AM
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Yes I am a pirate

200 years too late

The cannons don't thunder there's nothing to plunder

I'm an over 40 victim of fate

Arriving too late... Arriving too late
6'2"

OMAD results: 2/15/19-235, 10/13/19-190

OHP-205 Bench- 245 Squat - 405 C&J - 245

2021 Spring cut: 195lbs starting weight
post 1643443703 07-23-2021, 08:34 AM
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Isn't it funny how pirates went from island to island searching for gold when the real treasure was the friendships they were building
Survival. When the jungle tears itself down and builds itself into something new. Guys like you and me, we end up dead. Doesn’t really mean anything. Or, if we happen to live through it, well that doesn’t mean anything either.
post 1643443723 07-23-2021, 08:34 AM
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Brutal blackpill m8
A young bull and an old bull were standing atop a hill looking at a bunch of heifers in a field below.

The young bull says "Let's run down this hill and fuk one of those heifers."

The old bull replies "No. Let's walk down there, and fuk them all."
post 1643443733 07-23-2021, 08:34 AM
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The ps4 game a thieves end , good pirate story
post 1643443973 07-23-2021, 08:38 AM
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You’ll never be 17th century pirate again, in love for the first time
post 1643444393 07-23-2021, 08:50 AM
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The Antelope shook and pitched on her side,
HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!
Barrett was smashed like a bowl of eggs
And the Maintruck carried off both me legs

God damn them all!
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold
We'd fire no guns-shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier
The last of Barrett's Privateers.
post 1643444423 07-23-2021, 08:50 AM
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#22
  1. jizzfarmer
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Ngl I got these feels playing Assassin's Creed: Black Flag. Was legit sad at the end seeing how the age of pirates died off. FUARK what a time to be alive srs, I was born much too late.
Yellow Fever Crew -- https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=176364181
whoremaxxing crew
ooohh I'm a ghost crew
show me your credentials crew
mod negged X 5 crew
banned camp X 22 crew
dead by 40 crew, pussied out of dead by 30 crew
post 1643445153 07-23-2021, 09:02 AM
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#23
  1. davik
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Originally Posted By jizzfarmer⏩
Ngl I got these feels playing Assassin's Creed: Black Flag. Was legit sad at the end seeing how the age of pirates died off. FUARK what a time to be alive srs, I was born much too late.
too early for space piracy
post 1643445233 07-23-2021, 09:04 AM
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Originally Posted By davik⏩
too early for space piracy
Lol this. Although you can kinda get a feel for that playing the Mass Effect games srs.
Yellow Fever Crew -- https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=176364181
whoremaxxing crew
ooohh I'm a ghost crew
show me your credentials crew
mod negged X 5 crew
banned camp X 22 crew
dead by 40 crew, pussied out of dead by 30 crew
post 1643445353 07-23-2021, 09:09 AM
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OP you might be in a 20th century sim right now playing as a incel miscer character lol

tbh feel exactly the same, sailing ships to the Caribbean swoosh buckle fighting parrots and rum

bitcoins stalled the advancement of VR
post 1643445473 07-23-2021, 09:12 AM
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I mean just imagine those HTC pirate farthags who loosen their corsets and unleash the stinky chocolate kraken and you know it ain’t flushing because the mechanical toilet hadn’t been invented so 100% clogging rate no ****ing thanks dog
post 1643445613 07-23-2021, 09:15 AM
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#27
  1. LurkoLantern
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Piratecels, we got too cocky


Just imagine arriving at a port city in the Caribbean, surrounded by turquois water


Walking along its streets


Getting into swordfights


Spending your evening at the local pirate tavern



Drinking your fill of
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Glow, glow, glow your boat
post 1643446483 07-23-2021, 09:29 AM
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#28
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-brb life expectancy 30 yo
-brb evryone smells like chit including the wahman
-brb out in the sea for months on end, getting sea sick, no girls, and possibly no treasure
-brb eating only raw fish out in the sea
"It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience."

- Julius Caesar
post 1643446603 07-23-2021, 09:31 AM
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#29
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its funny that pirates went place to place looking for buried treasure when the real treasure was in the friendships they were making
Royal Crew
Chiefs Crew
Festivus Cew
post 1643447183 07-23-2021, 09:38 AM
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#30
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I'm sure developing scurvy and having to cannibalize your crew mates was all worth it in the end to find zero treasure brahs
positivity brah crew
dont take my posts too srs crew srs
JFL @ everything crew
lol @ tradies srs crew
BIG LOL @ sky tradies srs crew (RealAesthetic)
indian crew
living in clown world crew so screw it crew
anti-degen crew
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