- you’re in the middle of a 2 hour meeting and need to pee, but have to wait until break or permission like a small child


- you spend 40+ hours of your week unable to say out loud a simple joke , or say certain words, for fear of offending someone and getting sent to HR





- you are out for an hour lunch with friends, but service is slow. You start getting nervous because you may get back 20 minutes late



- you live to be complimented as a ‘rockstar’ or ‘someone who knows how to grind’ when those terms just mean willing to sit at your computer on excel eating shelf stable salty snacks for 15-20 hours more a week than your peers


- you define ambition as trying to get promoted from senior manager of south eastern region widget sales to director of south eastern region widget sales , and one day might even make senior director



Any others fellow cubeies?

None of those apply by still an officecell

I can relate to most of those but only some application.

If I gotta pee - I go unless "the man" is in the middle of something important.

Can't say some things out loud, but between my and my office mate - let's just say we agree on most things politically and otherwise.

Luckily, where I work is pretty lax with lunch times and things as long as you're getting your work done - basically it's accepted that it comes out in the wash. Sometimes I eat at 11, other times at 1pm. Sometimes I'm done in 10 minutes because I just brought a sandwich or a shake and took phone calls during. Other times we'll hit up the local restaurant/bar for some deck fries and burgers and take an hour and change. I have also put in leave with only 24-hrs notice and gotten it no questions asked.

Yeah, it's nice to be known for being good at what you do - comes with being male. I want the respect for my competence.

Honestly can't relate to the last one.

Oof. Tough reality pill to swallow.

Also when you forget to put the new coversheets on your TPS reports

The tough decision of having your back to door, so you can nap, but making your monitor visible to whoever walks by/in. Or facing the door to hide your monitor, but eliminate ability to nap.

White collar work is not so bad as you get paid more money.

I've always done it remotely, never been to an office before.

Every job has something about it that sucks, but it seems the higher paying jobs don't suck as bad.

The hardest jobs I've worked were in service and construction, and I did not make much money there either.

I think those jobs would pay more if you are in it for a long time and move to a leadership position.

But if you go high enough in the structure of a large business, it's people in offices.

My philosophy is that a job is a job, if it was easy then you wouldn't get paid for it. It is a transaction, I give my time in exchange for money. Compared to previous jobs, the idea of getting to sit down and use my mind instead of my body is appealing.

It's still difficult in a different way, but it's quite a blessing considering my ancestors who eeked out an existence getting screwed picking cotton for pennies in an open field.

Work From Home Crew

Lmao every woman manager I’ve ever had has been like that with the formatting. Attention to detail on the most stupid chit. Guys just want the facts and then can talk it out. Women often come from a background where they did well in school by formatting everything and following orders - so that carries to corporate world


BRB colors have to be certain way
BRB charts must be aligned certain way
BRB font certain way


All time wasters

If those represent the office where you are working I would suggest you are in a toxic culture and/or have a lousy Manager. I make sure to stand up and leave meetings to piss and to come in late/leave early/take a long lunch occasionally when I have a good reason to do so (lunch with someone I haven't seen in a while, kids event, worked late last night, etc.) and do so 'loudly' just to set the tone for my organization that these things are okay. We care about the work that you get done and not the hours you have your ass glued to your seat (unless it becomes a problem, obviously).

The last item on the list is up to you to define. It's presumed most want to move up the ladder in some manner, but if you want to instead maintain your lifestyle and work/life balance while continuing to excel in your current position don't be afraid to do that/state that. Sometimes companies are scared of this because their main 'carrot' is being taken away, and likewise you can't 'stand still' in your knowledge and capabilities because the world is always changing so growth is required just to keep up..........but some of my best employees - some of them at Sr. Manager or Director level - have made it clear 'success' to them is continuing to kick ass at the level they are currently while pursuing growth outside of work. Why should I be upset to have someone happy and effective in their role that wants to keep knocking it out of the park for me and I don't have to worry they'll be demotivated if we don't find a promotion opportunity for them soon?

I just listen to heavy metal and rock music all day in my room

Have literally 8000 songs in my library for work

I've noticed the same thing - allow me to aware you of the word I discovered a long time ago when trying to learn how to define these jackasses:

they just want to add input to justify their existence. If you color coded red, they'd tall you to go back and make it blue. If you originally made it blue, they'd say change it to red.

Corporate world is such a joke.

I can't take afternoon naps and I browse a gay Indian forum with naked torsos a lot so this is a pretty easy decision

Good word - repped