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» *Official Misc dad's thread* my couch pulls out, I don't
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post 1644262663 08-04-2021, 01:47 PM
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#181
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Originally Posted By TBO1313
He's literally done it every single day since I made that post lmfao. He's gonna be a sad boy come Monday. He's moving up to 3k and the daycare is breaking up his harem. He's got 3 girls in his class right now that follow him around all day every day and none of them will be in his new class. He's also losing his best friend that either bite or hit each other at least twice a week
= [ Awe poor thing

@montre welcome My guy!
I know who I am. And after all these years, there’s a victory in that.

All liberals deserve death

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post 1644262973 08-04-2021, 01:52 PM
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#182
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Originally Posted By Motiviert
My wife laughs bc I say they all look like aliens or potatoes lmao
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Motiviert again.
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post 1644264863 08-04-2021, 02:19 PM
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Originally Posted By niospecv
Am I the only one that things newborn babies look like aliens? I get we all love our kids, but let's be real. They do look weird at first. LOL
Lol, I've seen a few like that. Not counting Firefightn24's little girl shes beautiful mane
Damn
post 1644283613 08-04-2021, 07:25 PM
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#184
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Originally Posted By Jandels
Lol, I've seen a few like that. Not counting Firefightn24's little girl shes beautiful mane
Bruh, when she came out I was like "Oh **** is she ok?" Funny shaped head, whole body like a purple color and covered in goo.



Then a few minutes went by and she looked 10 times better.
Being anti-2nd Amendment is like saying "We have too many rights, please take some away!"
post 1644285983 08-04-2021, 08:12 PM
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Watching the wife give birth turned me gay. I was standing next to the bed and the doc said "help hold her leg up". So I did and it was awful. Mothers have it rough and having kids gave me a whole new level of respect for them.
post 1644287843 08-04-2021, 08:57 PM
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#186
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Originally Posted By Firefightn24
Bruh, when she came out I was like "Oh **** is she ok?" Funny shaped head, whole body like a purple color and covered in goo.



Then a few minutes went by and she looked 10 times better.
Ayy lmao
With both our kids we did all natural at home births in a birthing pool in our bedroom. No meds or anything. Just midwife. I got to deliver both of them and with my daughter I was aww wtf she is a conehead lol. Then it went back to normal.
I know who I am. And after all these years, there’s a victory in that.

All liberals deserve death

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-People who say money can't buy happiness, have never paid the adoption fee at the pound and went home with a new best friend
*There's no such thing as a bad dog, only a bad dog owner

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post 1644566863 08-09-2021, 08:09 AM
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Today is my kid's 1st day of school. 1st grade. Time flies boyos.

My wife and I attended "meet the teacher" last week and we had to fill out a form. There was a section asking if our child did not celebrate any specific holiday. I put "gay pride month." LOL

To top it off the teacher is a homo. He will definitely bert stare that answer once he reads it.
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post 1644567633 08-09-2021, 08:23 AM
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Originally Posted By Firefightn24
Bruh, when she came out I was like "Oh **** is she ok?" Funny shaped head, whole body like a purple color and covered in goo.



Then a few minutes went by and she looked 10 times better.
Lol, I think every first time dad knows these feels, was the same for me.

Update: Our little man is doing great. 6.5 weeks old now and only waking up 1×/night on average, and occasionally sleeping straight through. He recently discovered he has hands and is very fascinated by them. Wife got a great pic the other day when I was holding him and he reached up and grabbed my glasses, eventually pulling them off my face. Was effing adorable but also slightly terrifying since my wife and I both wear glasses 24/7, lmfao.
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post 1644567883 08-09-2021, 08:27 AM
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Originally Posted By niospecv
Today is my kid's 1st day of school. 1st grade. Time flies boyos.

My wife and I attended "meet the teacher" last week and we had to fill out a form. There was a section asking if our child did not celebrate any specific holiday. I put "gay pride month." LOL

To top it off the teacher is a *******. He will definitely bert stare that answer once he reads it.
Lol, classic misc dad move
Originally Posted By 78novacaine
Lol, I think every first time dad knows these feels, was the same for me.

Update: Our little man is doing great. 6.5 weeks old now and only waking up 1×/night on average, and occasionally sleeping straight through. He recently discovered he has hands and is very fascinated by them. Wife got a great pic the other day when I was holding him and he reached up and grabbed my glasses, eventually pulling them off my face. Was effing adorable but also slightly terrifying since my wife and I both wear glasses 24/7, lmfao.
Only waking up once? You lucky bastard.

Sleeps on his own?
I'm back, bitches!
post 1644568563 08-09-2021, 08:39 AM
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Originally Posted By Muzzlrpress
Only waking up once? You lucky bastard.

Sleeps on his own?
We swaddle him and put him in a crib in our room. We don't co-sleep at all, and never will. I'm far too active in my sleep and it would be way too easy for me to accidentally hurt him badly.
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post 1644573983 08-09-2021, 10:03 AM
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Originally Posted By 78novacaine
We swaddle him and put him in a crib in our room. We don't co-sleep at all, and never will. I'm far too active in my sleep and it would be way too easy for me to accidentally hurt him badly.
Nice. We never slept in the same bed as our kids, but would keep them in the same room for the first couple months to facilitate easy night feedings. Everybody slept better when we moved them out though.

With our first kid my wife would worry about him sleeping too long and not getting enough to eat if he didn't wake up at least a couple times. Might have been the pediatrician or nurse that had her worrying, can't remember for sure. I just remember her setting an alarm and waking him up to feed him, then being ticked when he would fall asleep instead of eating, lol. With later kids she was a lot more laid back (or maybe just more tired). As long as the weight gain continued to be steady, the goal was as much sleep as possible.
MFC
post 1644574393 08-09-2021, 10:11 AM
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Sids is actually something like 300% more common in 1st world countries than 3rd world. Something to do with infants mimicking our breathing while they sleep. Since in the west we more often than not have our children in separate rooms while developing countries are forced to share rooms.
Ol' 71st street. The devil that birthed me.

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post 1644574723 08-09-2021, 10:15 AM
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Originally Posted By 78novacaine
We swaddle him and put him in a crib in our room. We don't co-sleep at all, and never will. I'm far too active in my sleep and it would be way too easy for me to accidentally hurt him badly.
We said **** it after a few months and tried co sleeping. Did the trick and he slept through the night. Pediatrician not happy with that of course, but nobody got squished.
I'm back, bitches!
post 1644611393 08-09-2021, 07:55 PM
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Originally Posted By Muzzlrpress
We said **** it after a few months and tried co sleeping. Did the trick and he slept through the night. Pediatrician not happy with that of course, but nobody got squished.
My wife insisted on co-sleeping and 6 yrs later, the kid still sleeps with us. FML
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post 1644612453 08-09-2021, 08:13 PM
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Aight


Finally gave in and gave bluey a chance......

Oh my god boyos. My 20 month old is memorized and laughs and giggles every morning at breakfast. We obviously still talk to her and love on her, but she likes to stand in the tsemi enclosed stool thing at the kitchen island while my wife and I tag team breakfast+newborn. And now we have a free set of hands because my 20 month old loves bluey. Bless you misc. Much love and thanks for that recommendation
I know who I am. And after all these years, there’s a victory in that.

All liberals deserve death

*Proud member of the misc 767 & USA vs. Germany world cup ban
-People who say money can't buy happiness, have never paid the adoption fee at the pound and went home with a new best friend
*There's no such thing as a bad dog, only a bad dog owner

If you see myself and swoleyo in a thread, remind me to rep him.
post 1644612553 08-09-2021, 08:14 PM
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Originally Posted By 78novacaine
We swaddle him and put him in a crib in our room. We don't co-sleep at all, and never will. I'm far too active in my sleep and it would be way too easy for me to accidentally hurt him badly.
In on this crew
I know who I am. And after all these years, there’s a victory in that.

All liberals deserve death

*Proud member of the misc 767 & USA vs. Germany world cup ban
-People who say money can't buy happiness, have never paid the adoption fee at the pound and went home with a new best friend
*There's no such thing as a bad dog, only a bad dog owner

If you see myself and swoleyo in a thread, remind me to rep him.
post 1644612693 08-09-2021, 08:16 PM
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Originally Posted By 78novacaine
Lol, I think every first time dad knows these feels, was the same for me.

Update: Our little man is doing great. 6.5 weeks old now and only waking up 1×/night on average, and occasionally sleeping straight through. He recently discovered he has hands and is very fascinated by them. Wife got a great pic the other day when I was holding him and he reached up and grabbed my glasses, eventually pulling them off my face. Was effing adorable but also slightly terrifying since my wife and I both wear glasses 24/7, lmfao.
Lmfao. Great to hear. Yes I knew my little.man and yours were only like 3 days apart. He finally started smiling this week. Tfw big 6'2 250 pound man has his heart melted. Yes I'm a phgot for saying that, no I don't care.
I know who I am. And after all these years, there’s a victory in that.

All liberals deserve death

*Proud member of the misc 767 & USA vs. Germany world cup ban
-People who say money can't buy happiness, have never paid the adoption fee at the pound and went home with a new best friend
*There's no such thing as a bad dog, only a bad dog owner

If you see myself and swoleyo in a thread, remind me to rep him.
post 1644613903 08-09-2021, 08:39 PM
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#198
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Originally Posted By 78novacaine
Lol, I think every first time dad knows these feels, was the same for me.

Update: Our little man is doing great. 6.5 weeks old now and only waking up 1×/night on average, and occasionally sleeping straight through. He recently discovered he has hands and is very fascinated by them. Wife got a great pic the other day when I was holding him and he reached up and grabbed my glasses, eventually pulling them off my face. Was effing adorable but also slightly terrifying since my wife and I both wear glasses 24/7, lmfao.
Wait until he gets mobile. It’s game over at least until he hits 4.
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post 1644616133 08-09-2021, 09:25 PM
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Originally Posted By 78novacaine
Lol, I think every first time dad knows these feels, was the same for me.

Update: Our little man is doing great. 6.5 weeks old now and only waking up 1×/night on average, and occasionally sleeping straight through. He recently discovered he has hands and is very fascinated by them. Wife got a great pic the other day when I was holding him and he reached up and grabbed my glasses, eventually pulling them off my face. Was effing adorable but also slightly terrifying since my wife and I both wear glasses 24/7, lmfao.
Lucky man. I co-slept with my son for the first few months. He slept swaddled on a bopi placed at the center of the bed. He woke up every 2 hrs throughout the night to be fed.

Sometimes he'd be gassy and would bicycle kick (but his legs were swaddled so it was more like leg raises lol) to help work the gas out. I still have nightmares of waking up to his legs thumping against the bopi over and over and over. Never again.
The closer we approach the uncertainty of life's ending the more we wish to trade all of the things we have acquired in exchange for all of the things we have lost: wealth for youth, knowledge for fresh curiosity, resignation for hope. We'd trade our wisdom for new experiences, but it is wisdom that will teach us that at the end of the road the only new experience is death.
post 1644617073 08-09-2021, 09:42 PM
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Originally Posted By Motiviert
Lmfao. Great to hear. Yes I knew my little.man and yours were only like 3 days apart. He finally started smiling this week. Tfw big 6'2 250 pound man has his heart melted. Yes I'm a phgot for saying that, no I don't care.
Dasit mane
Damn
post 1644677873 08-10-2021, 05:37 PM
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Update. Daughter is 10 days old now.

Everything going pretty well I think. Didn't know newborns slept so dang much. She sleeps in a bassinet next to our bed right now, and sleeping has been going OK. Last two nights she slept most of the night apart from feedings. Wife is feeding her in our bed after getting up and taking her to her room for the first several nights, and then decided doing that multiple times a night is terrible. Can't blame her.


Had a poop rocket shoot across the room two nights ago. Literally a stream of newborn poo flew across the room while changing a diaper. Luckily most of it landed on top of her dresser and was easy to clean up.
Being anti-2nd Amendment is like saying "We have too many rights, please take some away!"
post 1644846313 08-13-2021, 03:42 AM
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Originally Posted By Firefightn24
Update.

Had a poop rocket shoot across the room two nights ago. Literally a stream of newborn poo flew across the room while changing a diaper. Luckily most of it landed on top of her dresser and was easy to clean up.
Lmao, you gotta be quick brah! Sounds like you've got it under control.


My son lost his first molar today. The tooth fairy (me) left a $2 coin under his pillow.

How much do you guys tip for a tooth?
Damn
post 1644846933 08-13-2021, 04:11 AM
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Originally Posted By MiscMathematician
im a dad of a baby in the afterlife, from aborted fetus, against my will

grats to you guys
Awfuk. You're def welcome here bro.
I know who I am. And after all these years, there’s a victory in that.

All liberals deserve death

*Proud member of the misc 767 & USA vs. Germany world cup ban
-People who say money can't buy happiness, have never paid the adoption fee at the pound and went home with a new best friend
*There's no such thing as a bad dog, only a bad dog owner

If you see myself and swoleyo in a thread, remind me to rep him.
post 1644846963 08-13-2021, 04:13 AM
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Originally Posted By firefightn24
update. Daughter is 10 days old now.

Everything going pretty well i think. Didn't know newborns slept so dang much. She sleeps in a bassinet next to our bed right now, and sleeping has been going ok. Last two nights she slept most of the night apart from feedings. Wife is feeding her in our bed after getting up and taking her to her room for the first several nights, and then decided doing that multiple times a night is terrible. Can't blame her.


Had a poop rocket shoot across the room two nights ago. Literally a stream of newborn poo flew across the room while changing a diaper. Luckily most of it landed on top of her dresser and was easy to clean up.
lmao
I know who I am. And after all these years, there’s a victory in that.

All liberals deserve death

*Proud member of the misc 767 & USA vs. Germany world cup ban
-People who say money can't buy happiness, have never paid the adoption fee at the pound and went home with a new best friend
*There's no such thing as a bad dog, only a bad dog owner

If you see myself and swoleyo in a thread, remind me to rep him.
post 1644846973 08-13-2021, 04:13 AM
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Originally Posted By MiscMathematician
im a dad of a baby in the afterlife, from aborted fetus, against my will

grats to you guys
I feel for you bro, you are welcome in here.

Sometimes it's nice to have a place to talk about this dad stuff away from women and the clown world, you know.
Damn
post 1644847003 08-13-2021, 04:15 AM
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#206
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Originally Posted By Jandels
I feel for you bro, you are welcome in here.

Sometimes it's nice to have a place to talk about this dad stuff away from women and the clown world, you know.
Hesrightyaknow.gif
I know who I am. And after all these years, there’s a victory in that.

All liberals deserve death

*Proud member of the misc 767 & USA vs. Germany world cup ban
-People who say money can't buy happiness, have never paid the adoption fee at the pound and went home with a new best friend
*There's no such thing as a bad dog, only a bad dog owner

If you see myself and swoleyo in a thread, remind me to rep him.
post 1644853123 08-13-2021, 07:10 AM
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#207
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Originally Posted By Jandels
Lmao, you gotta be quick brah! Sounds like you've got it under control.


My son lost his first molar today. The tooth fairy (me) left a $2 coin under his pillow.

How much do you guys tip for a tooth?
My daughter is expensive. For her first tooth, I left $20 for her first tooth. After that, it's been $5 per tooth.
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post 1644853673 08-13-2021, 07:21 AM
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The tooth fairy usually leaves notes and $1 coins at my house.

The Sacagawea dollar is usually fairly easy to get from the bank teller.

A couple of times I made the switch before they were even asleep, if I was sure they were not going to double check the tooth. Kiss them goodnight and slide my hand under the pillow at the same time
post 1644853903 08-13-2021, 07:26 AM
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Originally Posted By Firefightn24
Update. Daughter is 10 days old now.

Everything going pretty well I think. Didn't know newborns slept so dang much. She sleeps in a bassinet next to our bed right now, and sleeping has been going OK. Last two nights she slept most of the night apart from feedings. Wife is feeding her in our bed after getting up and taking her to her room for the first several nights, and then decided doing that multiple times a night is terrible. Can't blame her.


Had a poop rocket shoot across the room two nights ago. Literally a stream of newborn poo flew across the room while changing a diaper. Luckily most of it landed on top of her dresser and was easy to clean up.
My one and only poop rocket was a few days after our firstborn, she was just home from hospital so I hadn't yet changed a diaper.

Took my wife to Target as her first "big outing" (lol) after delivering and C section surgery. Sat in the car w the baby so my wife could have a peaceful time looking around and finding some nice things to eat and feather her nest with.

I hear this spraying sound from the back seat and turn around to see our baby asleep in her car seat, head lolling, and a stream of liquid **** arcing out of her. She was sleeping canted just a bit to the side so it was like putting your thumb over a garden hose.

I call my wife in hysterics thinking we needed an Exorcist. She comes out, changes the baby in my cargo area, and goes back inside.
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post 1644853983 08-13-2021, 07:27 AM
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#210
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My little princess (5) had her first day of school

Wee man waddles (1.5) gotta ways to go
"If you don't vote for me you ain't black!" - Plantation Joe Biden

Wreck em
Hook em
Glory to Aubernia!
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