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Forum » Srs is anyone else on here allergic to commitment in relationships
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Thread: Srs is anyone else on here allergic to commitment in relationships

post 1647374413 09-19-2021, 06:56 PM
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Srs is anyone else on here allergic to commitment in relationships

My mind rebels against the idea of it.

Ded srs gave it a go when I was younger but now I just can't do it

As soon as I am seeing a girl and I feel like she's texting me a bit too much I just lose interest, feel like I'm losing my freedom and pretty much ghost.

I know this isn't normal behaviour but idk what to do about it.
post 1647374673 09-19-2021, 07:00 PM
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omg op such a player chad teach me ur ways oh sensai
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post 1647375193 09-19-2021, 07:08 PM
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Yea my last two long term relationships, the girl begged me to marry them but I wouldn’t do it because while they were decent people who would make good mothers, I just didn’t have that feeling like I wanted to spend the rest of my life with them. In hindsight I realize I was kinda lying to myself that I might wanna wife them up someday when in reality I probably never did. Having great unprotected sex everyday clouded my judgement big time. I realize that now.
post 1647377373 09-19-2021, 07:41 PM
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It's one of the main reasons for my most recent breakup of a long term relationship (3+ years).

I seriously hate feeling restricted and tied down. Obligated to consider someone for every action I do. Obligated to allocate time for specific dates for that person, utilize my vacation days for them, etc. One day I'll accept the weight of another person in my life for the long term, perhaps. But right now I want to feel absolute freedom and no ball & chain. Getting into a relationship is equivalent to selling your time, or even yourself as a whole.
post 1647377773 09-19-2021, 07:48 PM
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post 1647377923 09-19-2021, 07:51 PM
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Originally Posted By andrew28⏩
Yea my last two long term relationships, the girl begged me to marry them but I wouldn’t do it because while they were decent people who would make good mothers, I just didn’t have that feeling like I wanted to spend the rest of my life with them. In hindsight I realize I was kinda lying to myself that I might wanna wife them up someday when in reality I probably never did. Having great unprotected sex everyday clouded my judgement big time. I realize that now.
How did it go when you called it quits with someone so attached to u ?
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post 1647378193 09-19-2021, 07:56 PM
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I guess some of us are just not cut out for it. Lifes to short for relationships in my opinion
post 1647378383 09-19-2021, 07:58 PM
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Originally Posted By SiIverBack⏩
How did it go when you called it quits with someone so attached to u ?
Its only been a few days.

The heart of it is, we got individual therapists not long ago. And our therapists happen to both agree that the following is a good compromise: We're broken up, and around January 2022 we will checkin to see if we regret it all and want the other back, or otherwise if one (or both) of us has moved on completely. An invisible small thread that connects us still, though we're in solitude between now and then. Sounds a bit crazy writing it but that's what it is.

It was a several days venture, involving us talking, and me giving her things she left at my apartment. She cried a lot every day. I cried on day 1 pretty badly not gonna lie. But so far I'm feeling the freedom.
post 1647378573 09-19-2021, 08:01 PM
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Originally Posted By Visel⏩
Its only been a few days.

The heart of it is, we got individual therapists not long ago. And our therapists happen to both agree that the following is a good compromise: We're broken up, and around January 2022 we will checkin to see if we regret it all and want the other back, or otherwise if one (or both) of us has moved on completely. An invisible small thread that connects us still, though we're in solitude between now and then. Sounds a bit crazy writing it but that's what it is.

It was a several days venture, involving us talking, and me giving her things she left at my apartment. She cried a lot every day. I cried on day 1 pretty badly not gonna lie. But so far I'm feeling the freedom.
No offense brah, but your therapist sounds like a massive cuck.

BRB let your girl sloot for a couple months and then see if you miss her.

Just go to NC and start cold approaching during the day. You have that bish replaced by a newer model in 2-3 months.
post 1647378713 09-19-2021, 08:02 PM
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Originally Posted By TomWanks⏩
No offense brah, but your therapist sounds like a massive cuck.

BRB let your girl sloot for a couple months and then see if you miss her.

Just go to NC and start cold approaching during the day. You have that bish replaced by a newer model in 2-3 months.
No but here's the thing. I dont want to have sex with anyone lmao. I don't want to intertwine myself with another human. It's all a pharking waste of time. The heart of it is, as I've relayed to my therapist, is I want to be alone, in solitude, single, in my twenties, with money, before it's too late (regarding the in my twenties part).
post 1647378723 09-19-2021, 08:03 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
Obv if I found some ideal guy I would want to be committed but until then as long as I’m seeing young Chads I just want to be fwb.

Fwb is most of the benefits of a relationship without any of the burdens. It’s pretty sweet.
bro your eggs are dry, and its probably like the Serengeti dessert in your vegen
post 1647378763 09-19-2021, 08:03 PM
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Originally Posted By Visel⏩
Its only been a few days.

The heart of it is, we got individual therapists not long ago. And our therapists happen to both agree that the following is a good compromise: We're broken up, and around January 2022 we will checkin to see if we regret it all and want the other back, or otherwise if one (or both) of us has moved on completely. An invisible small thread that connects us still, though we're in solitude between now and then. Sounds a bit crazy writing it but that's what it is.

It was a several days venture, involving us talking, and me giving her things she left at my apartment. She cried a lot every day. I cried on day 1 pretty badly not gonna lie. But so far I'm feeling the freedom.
I agree with TomWanks , she’s gonna get wasted with her sloot friends and have a 9 inch gorilla dink tearing her moot apart while she screams into a pillow for months, hate to say that brah but its over
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post 1647378823 09-19-2021, 08:04 PM
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Originally Posted By Visel⏩
It's one of the main reasons for my most recent breakup of a long term relationship (3+ years).

I seriously hate feeling restricted and tied down. Obligated to consider someone for every action I do. Obligated to allocate time for specific dates for that person, utilize my vacation days for them, etc. One day I'll accept the weight of another person in my life for the long term, perhaps. But right now I want to feel absolute freedom and no ball & chain. Getting into a relationship is equivalent to selling your time, or even yourself as a whole.
What age are you out of curiosity?
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍

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post 1647378913 09-19-2021, 08:05 PM
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Originally Posted By SiIverBack⏩
I agree with TomWanks , she’s gonna get wasted with her sloot friends and have a 9 inch gorilla dink tearing her moot apart while she screams into a pillow for months, hate to say that brah but its over
I'm the one who initiated the breakup. She's still texting me even now. I'm responding though. She relayed to me that it sounds disgusting to even look for another guy. She screenshotted some of our messages as a "reminder of hope for the future." I think she won't find someone else, or at least I think she won't try to.
Originally Posted By Luc1fer⏩
What age are you out of curiosity?
26.
post 1647378993 09-19-2021, 08:06 PM
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Originally Posted By Visel⏩
26.
Eh, ye perfectly normal and rational. Your SMV is probably increasing.

Society will try to convince you that men = women though and should settle at the same age.
𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖈𝕶, 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖆 𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍

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post 1647379533 09-19-2021, 08:14 PM
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Originally Posted By Visel⏩
No but here's the thing. I dont want to have sex with anyone lmao. I don't want to intertwine myself with another human. It's all a pharking waste of time. The heart of it is, as I've relayed to my therapist, is I want to be alone, in solitude, single, in my twenties, with money, before it's too late (regarding the in my twenties part).
Yeah I did that for a while around your age too. Basically my entire first year at university (I went in my early 20s), I just stayed in and studied, focused on self-improvement, dedicated all of my spare time to reading and working out, took solo road trips on the weekend, and that kind of thing.

Fair warning, you're gonna come out of it weird as phuck because you'll probably stop caring about social convention, won't answer your phone 90% of the time, and loathe people who try to spend time too much time with you.

IMO it's worth it, but I value self-sufficiency, introspection, and a certain kind of career success a lot more than most of my peers, for better or worse.

Cut the therapy though brah srs. That chit is ghey as phuck.
Originally Posted By Visel⏩
I'm the one who initiated the breakup. She's still texting me even now. I'm responding though. She relayed to me that it sounds disgusting to even look for another guy. She screenshotted some of our messages as a "reminder of hope for the future." I think she won't find someone else, or at least I think she won't try to.

26.
Just NC her brah. No point in trying to salvage a relationship that ended. It ended for a reason. Let her down gently if you must, but sloots dragging out a relationship after you break up with them is the female version of grape ded srs. No means no you dumb sloot.
post 1647380323 09-19-2021, 08:30 PM
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Originally Posted By stayhomeneet⏩
My mind rebels against the idea of it.

Ded srs gave it a go when I was younger but now I just can't do it

As soon as I am seeing a girl and I feel like she's texting me a bit too much I just lose interest, feel like I'm losing my freedom and pretty much ghost.

I know this isn't normal behaviour but idk what to do about it.
Its called Avoidant Attachment personality.

There's Anxious, Normal, Avoidant.
Think of it as a spectrum.

Anxious are the clingy people. (25% of population)
Normal is normal (forgot the actual term) (50% of population)
Avoidant are the people who feel the walls are closing in if they are close to someone. (25% of population)


If you want to figure out how to fix yourself, google and read about it.
I've given you the keys.
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post 1647380663 09-19-2021, 08:38 PM
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Originally Posted By KingBert⏩
Its called Avoidant Attachment personality.

There's Anxious, Normal, Avoidant.
Think of it as a spectrum.

Anxious are the clingy people. (25% of population)
Normal is normal (forgot the actual term) (50% of population)
Avoidant are the people who feel the walls are closing in if they are close to someone. (25% of population)


If you want to figure out how to fix yourself, google and read about it.
I've given you the keys.
Not gonna lie. I was suspicious as phark when you wrote that, because my ex GF was giving me all kinds of info about Avoidant/Anxious Attachment personalities. Where I'm the Avoidant, and she's the Anxious. Dead srs. We even brought this up in our therapy sessions. Then I saw your join date so I know you're not my ex lol.
post 1647381043 09-19-2021, 08:46 PM
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Originally Posted By Visel⏩
Not gonna lie. I was suspicious as phark when you wrote that, because my ex GF was giving me all kinds of info about Avoidant/Anxious Attachment personalities. Where I'm the Avoidant, and she's the Anxious. Dead srs. We even brought this up in our therapy sessions. Then I saw your join date so I know you're not my ex lol.
I used to think that, but she was just crazy. Maybe you aren't "avoidant" at all, you just don't want to commit to obviously the wrong person.
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post 1647381193 09-19-2021, 08:50 PM
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Originally Posted By KingBert⏩
Its called Avoidant Attachment personality.

There's Anxious, Normal, Avoidant.
Think of it as a spectrum.

Anxious are the clingy people. (25% of population)
Normal is normal (forgot the actual term) (50% of population)
Avoidant are the people who feel the walls are closing in if they are close to someone. (25% of population)


If you want to figure out how to fix yourself, google and read about it.
I've given you the keys.
Thanks for that I'll defs look into it.
post 1647382463 09-19-2021, 09:19 PM
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Originally Posted By Visel⏩
Not gonna lie. I was suspicious as phark when you wrote that, because my ex GF was giving me all kinds of info about Avoidant/Anxious Attachment personalities. Where I'm the Avoidant, and she's the Anxious. Dead srs. We even brought this up in our therapy sessions. Then I saw your join date so I know you're not my ex lol.
Originally Posted By stayhomeneet⏩
Thanks for that I'll defs look into it.
There's a book called
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--and Keep-- Love
by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Buy that on Amazon, its good and very informative.
I'm not sure there is much of a solution except constantly working on it through therapy and work by yourself.
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post 1647382633 09-19-2021, 09:23 PM
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post 1647382833 09-19-2021, 09:25 PM
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Originally Posted By KingBert⏩
Its called Avoidant Attachment personality.

There's Anxious, Normal, Avoidant.
Think of it as a spectrum.

Anxious are the clingy people. (25% of population)
Normal is normal (forgot the actual term) (50% of population)
Avoidant are the people who feel the walls are closing in if they are close to someone. (25% of population)


If you want to figure out how to fix yourself, google and read about it.
I've given you the keys.
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post 1647387673 09-19-2021, 11:31 PM
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Originally Posted By Silencespeaks⏩
With my ex I was EXTREMELY anxious/clingy because of his personality.

But in general with other guys both before and after him I’m not clingy at all. As to those other guys idk if I’m normal or avoidant.
You're all fukked up lady.

I can't help you.



It's too late for you anyway.
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post 1647388073 09-19-2021, 11:47 PM
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Originally Posted By SiIverBack⏩
How did it go when you called it quits with someone so attached to u ?
Oh god the first one was fukking horrible even though we broke up over the phone. Didn’t plan to do it over the phone but she was getting ready for a Halloween party and I didn’t even pick out a costume and since I work night shifts I just said “I can’t make it tonight” and that was the last straw. She kinda knew it was coming and she was crying her eyes out I could barely hear what she was saying. The way she barely managed to say “I thought you were the one” followed by the worst crying sound I’ve ever heard.....that still haunts me to this day whenever I think about it. That sound literally makes me yell out loud “Aghhhhh” when I’m by myself, like a form of Tourette’s or something. Just to drown out the emotions.

The second one we were going out for sushi and when we parked at the restaurant we had a talk and I just drove her back to her house, hugged, and that was that. Still sad but far easier than the first.
post 1647388203 09-19-2021, 11:49 PM
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post 1647389103 09-20-2021, 12:30 AM
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I cant live with anyone....no way would i be able to commit
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post 1647389353 09-20-2021, 12:43 AM
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Originally Posted By Visel⏩
No but here's the thing. I dont want to have sex with anyone lmao. I don't want to intertwine myself with another human. It's all a pharking waste of time. The heart of it is, as I've relayed to my therapist, is I want to be alone, in solitude, single, in my twenties, with money, before it's too late (regarding the in my twenties part).
If you're not wanting to **** every hot piece of ass you see when you're in your twenties something is wrong. Have you had hormones checked? Basic bloodwork?
A million miles away - I don't.. feel.... anything.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXGZu4yxjW0
post 1647407733 09-20-2021, 09:41 AM
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Originally Posted By Visel⏩
It's one of the main reasons for my most recent breakup of a long term relationship (3+ years).

I seriously hate feeling restricted and tied down. Obligated to consider someone for every action I do. Obligated to allocate time for specific dates for that person, utilize my vacation days for them, etc. One day I'll accept the weight of another person in my life for the long term, perhaps. But right now I want to feel absolute freedom and no ball & chain. Getting into a relationship is equivalent to selling your time, or even yourself as a whole.
Repped bro, life is so much more peaceful alone
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post 1647409143 09-20-2021, 10:01 AM
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I'm more used to being alone. I like having a girlfriend too, the companionship and regular sex is nice. But I've found the past few girlfriends have just brought chaos and drama into my life. I do my best to leave any "baggage" at the door, but chicks just let that sh!t drag them and everyone around them down.
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