Whats up everyone havent been on this sub forum in years... Long story short I have been married going on 8 years now, we have a 2 year old as well. Decent marriage, the usual arguments.. I do love my wife and she has made me a better person and ive been disgusted with the thought of being with anyone but her. But since I have been going back to the gym I'll have random thoughts about hooking up with a girl at the gym. Anyone ever experienced this? I don't like it at all and I would never act on it, but just having the thoughts is irritating me. Weird situation to be in. Reps for decent answers!

Is it just the novelty of a hookup with a hot fit girl that excites you or is the issue you're no longer getting your physical needs met in the marriage?

Are you as attracted to your wife as you were when you first met?
Are you guys still having good sex? Was it ever that good?

Is your wife fat? Or do you just want something new?

Being attracted to fit people is normal.

Divorce can be traumatic for a 2-4 year old. Divorce after 10 years means the court can award permanent alimony. Scary fate to pay that from age 30 to age 70 after just 10 years.
After year 10, you better not upset your wife.

It's just natural urges. You're working out, raising the endorphins and dopamine levels, sees an attractive girl and wants to smash. I'm pretty sure everybody has those thoughts at some point. Obviously you have no intent of acting on those urges so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Are you guys still having a lot of sex? After 7 years a lot of couples have less sex and the sex they do have is bland. Maybe get your wife to go to the gym with you then smash afterwards.

It’s definitely the novelty. My wife’s sex levels are triple mine.. I get it whenever I want it. My wife has definitely gained weight after the baby, but she is also starting to go to the gym with me more often because she realizes it and wants to lose the weight. I didn’t think about the release of endorphins during my workout that is just adding to it. Sounds like it’s natural from the replies and I’ll just need to deal with it.

it's called the 7 year itch. it happens to most people

Yeah if all is good between you and the wife, best to just remember what you could lose by acting upon said urges and remind yourself all your needs are being met & if anything comes to mind that you want to spice up your sex life then talk about it with the wife.

totally normal tbh

we try, but at the end of the day we're all just animals out here. acting on these things could ruin your life though.

Fantasizing = normal
Acting on it = degenerate

theres what is right
theres what is wromg
theres your choice


choose well and think on what will you do if you knew that your wife wants to cheat on you

Doesn’t matter how good your sex life is or what your wife will do for you, she just can’t be another person and that’s a big part of it. Then you factor in the hormones/endorphins along with wanting to know if you still got it….temptation is a helluva drug. Best thing to do is not initiate anything with said girl beyond being cordial in order to lessen temptation. Also try to be more self-aware of when you’re thinking about it outside of the gym and break those thought patterns. Will probably be impossible to not think about at the gym, so just use it to fuel your workouts. Realize that no matter how good it could be, 15-30 seconds after you bust you won’t just come back down to reality, you’ll be involved in a jumbo jet crashing back down into reality. Not to mention, you won’t just be cheating on your wife, you’ll be cheating on your kid. How would they feel when they grew up and realized you broke the home to spend 15 minutes inside some woman at the gym? And broken homes are one of the biggest problems with America today, so you’d be contributing to that issue.



And I know many will disregard the following just because it’s from the Bible, but it is one of the best parts and full of wisdom.


Galatians 5 13-23


You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. 14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh.They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

I’m in a similar situation. My gf of 2 years broke up with me. I rejoined tinder and girls are messaging me like crazy. Now she came over and we are kind of back together but I’m like what to do. Should I mess around? Should I just get back with her? Should I just tell her the truth and enjoy multiple peopke? Idk.

Well that depends on why you two broke up. Is it something that's not fixable in the longterm, and problems will crop back up? If your gf is not a longterm deal, she's not a keeper or marriage material, then don't even get back with her, it'll only slow you down.

Sounds natural for a man, just don't act on it.

Moral's pending may I suggest a nice catch and release program??

Grab your Rod........ & reel... bait the hook with panty scrubber ab's and toss your line out there. Get a few nibbles which gets the heart pumping again and makes you remember you're alive and when the time is right SET THE HOOK!! Reel that Speckled Sloot in... grab the net , dont let it get away... Hold it up so one of your buddies can take a pic of you holding it and toss it the fk back.


Or...


Start a complex underground black ops campaign and slowly interject the idea of a threesome into your wife's head until she miraculously thinks it was her idea... and then just go with it!


Otherwise I would likely just keep my rod in my pants... especially if you have no real reason other then self satisfaction which indulging in could potentially wreck your fkn home life and leave you with 16y of child support while living in poverty...

reel*

But good advice on the last paragraph (srs)

Just do it and make sure you don't get caught

Just think about the gym chick while banging your old lady...

I'm guessing you don't know why she broke up. Was it to mess around? Explore other options? Has she realized the grass is not greener? Maybe that will make her better going forward.

Or if you were not happy with her before the breakup, this could be your excuse to say no and blame it all on her. Or a good leverage point for her to fix what you did not like.
Tempting to try the other grass out there when you don't know. Hopefully you don't get a disease or learn that each of them is seeing 5 other dudes. Or they might be lined up for your muscles.

That's true that there is a lot to lose when you have a 2 year old where you could be in poverty and only see your kid on weekends because you want to smash a girl at the gym.

I take it that this is a natural urge for men given their high sex drive and the fact that monogamy is a construct of society so that children have 2 parents in one household and not really natural for our species. And I'm saying that as a Christian, but I can see why it was put in place for society.

Just realize the same fantasies you are having about the girls you stare at at the gym, your wife is having about me because I spend 8 hours a day 5 feet away from her in the office. You can't compete with the attention I give her, the little seeds of sexual tension that get planted. She has cheated on you with me twice already. Every time it happens she says it can't happen again but a few months later I am balls deep in her again.

This is worse than cheating. She did nothing to deserve it.

I was gonna say, this is a scenario that has most likely occurred already with OP’s wife and he doesn’t even know it. Modern marriage is a sham. And women are always on the lookout for “better”

Ejaculate before you act on it. Should help your decision

Great album

Fkn lol, repped

OP, it's just an urge and its normal. Just don't act on it unless you want to live looking your wife in the face, knowing you smashed some gym sloot and she doesn't know

Animals act on temptations but man are evolved to resist it. Your choice wether or not you want to be a man or an animal

After you explained the situation more, 100% no.

Would be a whole different deal if she continued to let herself go after the baby and was disregarding your sexual needs as a man. That is assuming you were also not letting yourself go physically, which you said you're in the gym so that aspect is null.

But if that were the case or ever will be the case just go ahead and file for divorce/breakup. Its likely never going to be better because she just isnt attracted to you anymore. The only chance is she goes out and is only able to get plowed by guys hotter and relationships from guys lesser than you and realizes its not a good strategy long term and tries to come back. But the ball is in your court at that time. I've tried it they are just defeated and feel like they've settled. Things will likely never be the same.