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[SRS] Depression Discussion and Support Thread Part III
01-30-2022, 05:40 PM
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#9331
01-30-2022, 06:14 PM
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#9332
Originally Posted By imbored21⏩
Even when i go to social situations i just stand there and barely talk. I can talk to one dude about video games but i'm bored of that. In other social situations i can't make it more than 2 minutes without getting bored.thought i was depressed because i was lonely but lately getting invited to stuff and trying new things leaving my comfort zone. Doing social things i always thought i was missing out on. well im not having fun and it's making me even more depressed because what's next if this doesnt work??
PC specs
i9 9900k/AMD RX 6800 16 GB/16 GB RAM/LG BX 65'' OLED/Gigabyte GS27QC 27''
OLED Master Race crew
1440p 120+ fps only crew
6'2 master race crew
Audiophile crew
Metal crew
Introvert/INTJ crew
German crew
If you aren't getting stronger you aren't getting bigger crew
01-30-2022, 06:20 PM
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#9333
Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
pretty much the same. i just cant connect with people. im too weird or something. and even if i did, i would probably still be depressed.Even when i go to social situations i just stand there and barely talk. I can talk to one dude about video games but i'm bored of that. In other social situations i can't make it more than 2 minutes without getting bored.
01-30-2022, 06:20 PM
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#9334
01-30-2022, 06:36 PM
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#9335
Originally Posted By imbored21⏩
I haven't connected with anyone since 2014. Right when i turned 25 it got harder and now it seems impossible. After so many times of not connecting with people after you meet them it just makes you depressed.pretty much the same. i just cant connect with people. im too weird or something. and even if i did, i would probably still be depressed.
PC specs
i9 9900k/AMD RX 6800 16 GB/16 GB RAM/LG BX 65'' OLED/Gigabyte GS27QC 27''
OLED Master Race crew
1440p 120+ fps only crew
6'2 master race crew
Audiophile crew
Metal crew
Introvert/INTJ crew
German crew
If you aren't getting stronger you aren't getting bigger crew
01-30-2022, 06:39 PM
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#9336
And it's funny because back in 2014 i was still very social. So idk how you can go from being social, not ever using social media to not connecting with people overnight. That's why i made another misc account in late 2014 because i just stopped being able to connect with people.
PC specs
i9 9900k/AMD RX 6800 16 GB/16 GB RAM/LG BX 65'' OLED/Gigabyte GS27QC 27''
OLED Master Race crew
1440p 120+ fps only crew
6'2 master race crew
Audiophile crew
Metal crew
Introvert/INTJ crew
German crew
If you aren't getting stronger you aren't getting bigger crew
01-30-2022, 09:13 PM
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#9337
- EdgarAllanBro
- Noble.
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- EdgarAllanBro
- Noble.
- Join Date: May 2015
- Posts: 1,239
- Rep Power: 37160
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life always in shambles
technically "i made it". still crushing depression.
technically "i made it". still crushing depression.
Life passes most people by while they're making grand plans for it. Throughout my lifetime, I've left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there's almost not enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent. There are no more white horses or pretty ladies at my door.
**Spends cab money on more shots and takes ambulance home crew**
01-30-2022, 11:35 PM
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#9338
- bfdehewdbyywhn
- Registered User
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- bfdehewdbyywhn
- Registered User
- Join Date: Oct 2019
- Age: 56
- Posts: 47,380
- Rep Power: 103861
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Originally Posted By EdgarAllanBro⏩
Im jealous of people who have the courage to blow their brain outlife always in shambles
technically "i made it". still crushing depression.
technically "i made it". still crushing depression.
life is worthless as fukk. I only exist cause my parents had shtt loads of kids
I have no friends and work a meaningless ass job. I cant complain cause most people from my university have no job and still live with their parents cause the job market is trash
I will never get a gf cause I'm ugly as shtt and women wont date an ugly ethnic gymcel, especially one who doesn't make $200k+ like all the chads they meet on tinder.
its over. Ill be surprised if Im alive by age 30
HTC is too skinny for me. Fat Girls only crew. serious
Chubby Chaser and Fat Girls Only crew Founder
01-31-2022, 08:13 AM
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#9339
- otisthebat
- On The Truer Path
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- otisthebat
- On The Truer Path
- Join Date: Jan 2008
- Location: Houston, Texas, United States
- Posts: 15,131
- Rep Power: 58597
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
Maybe you could connect with people if you spent more time talking about netflix and food.And it's funny because back in 2014 i was still very social. So idk how you can go from being social, not ever using social media to not connecting with people overnight. That's why i made another misc account in late 2014 because i just stopped being able to connect with people.
I would die for Palestine
01-31-2022, 05:56 PM
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#9340
Originally Posted By bfdehewdbyywhn⏩
Unless your face is completely busted, I’m willing to bet your personality has something to do with itIm jealous of people who have the courage to blow their brain out
life is worthless as fukk. I only exist cause my parents had shtt loads of kids
I have no friends and work a meaningless ass job. I cant complain cause most people from my university have no job and still live with their parents cause the job market is trash
I will never get a gf cause I'm ugly as shtt and women wont date an ugly ethnic gymcel, especially one who doesn't make $200k+ like all the chads they meet on tinder.
its over. Ill be surprised if Im alive by age 30
life is worthless as fukk. I only exist cause my parents had shtt loads of kids
I have no friends and work a meaningless ass job. I cant complain cause most people from my university have no job and still live with their parents cause the job market is trash
I will never get a gf cause I'm ugly as shtt and women wont date an ugly ethnic gymcel, especially one who doesn't make $200k+ like all the chads they meet on tinder.
its over. Ill be surprised if Im alive by age 30
*Deadlifts pants after taking a chit crew*
*Typos can go fucl themselves crew*
*Nice miscer crew*
*Loves reps, hates negs crew*
*Faps before workout crew*
*12+ hours of sleep crew*
*Faps during workout crew*
*Hates onions crew*
*Faps after workout crew*
*No fap crew*
01-31-2022, 08:18 PM
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#9341
- SoutheastBeast1
- Join Date: Mar 2013
- Age: 39
- Posts: 63,852
- Subscribers: 6
- Rep Power: 260932
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Dear diary long read
Joining the depression crew. Been legit struggling for like a year. Usually ends up leading to me binge eating and wrecking my diet.
Unlike some of the other trolls up here I really have tried to shake this by staying active.
I have multiple jobs to stay busy. Learned to scuba dive last year and have been taking trips diving. Planning on learning to shoot a pistol this month and going to the range regularly to practice.
Also been reading more and more. Try to go outside when it’s warm to read in the park or at a coffee shop.
Things that bother me are that I don’t have many friends left. The ones I do have don’t live near me so as much as I try to get out and do things it’s always alone. That has benefits but it still bothers me.
I still go to the gym a lot. But not as locked in as I used to be which also bothers me. Same with my diet, not as locked in. When I slip up with these it’s mostly during swings of depression where I really don’t see the point.
A few other things I want to try this year are getting out and eating at restaurants at night every two weeks (mostly because my nightlife is non existent and I don’t really want to go to a bar alone) and I also was looking in to joining a kickball league in the spring.
I will say as much as I would like more friends, I also don’t really connect with many people well and it’s not worth it to be friends with people if it’s not a good fit.
So that compounds my depression. I remember when I was happiest it’s always when I had 1 really good friend (or gf) who I did everything with. I don’t need tons of people.
Still, that’s only a piece of my depression. I don’t know if having a new best friend or gf is actually a fix. A big part is still on me. I think about the future and I feel like there’s nothing to look forward to. Even with all of the new hobbies and activities I’ve tried.
Work sucks ass. And no e-brag but I make good money, especially with multiple jobs. But I hate them. It’s the same bullsh*t day in and day out. Never changes. I’m forced to endlessly play this corporate game. Like every company I was forced to do yearly goals and I seriously can’t think of a f*cking thing to put because I really don’t care so I basically just fake those and write something that sounds nice like I want to advance and contribute.
Truthfully though there’s no joy in doing well on a project for these companies. I already make money, so even promotions don’t really excite me. Sure it’s nice to collect more money but doesn’t change much in reality. It won’t make me stupid rich, maybe I can buy a couple nicer things or save a little more but life is unchanged so I legit don’t care if I get them or not these days.
I’d like to get a dog for maybe solve some of the companionship dislikes in my life but I need to buy a house first (I like bigger dogs and I don’t agree with having one in an apartment). I can afford plenty of houses right now, but I want to make sure I pick an area I want to stay in for awhile. I’ll actually be moving to a new city in the fall where I can have access to more hiking and kayaking (and downgrading to a smaller sized city than where I currently am which is also a plus imo). So long story short there, it’s going to likely be at least 1.5 years before I buy a house so no doggo before then.
But as I mentioned the companionship is only one piece of things I feel need corrected. I’m literally just unhappy. I’m not ugly or anything like these other guys in here. I’m mostly lost. The world and life in general just depress me.
Things I know I want to fix are better consistency with diet, some kind of companionship, and the hardest being my overall mindset to find some level of joy. They all kind of feed into each other making things worse but the last one is the real problem.
Anyway the struggle is real. Not trying to brag but I’m probably an example of someone people would think would never be depressed because I have no real reason to be depressed with so much going for me. And yet, I’m totally f*cked up. It makes no sense even to me.
Joining the depression crew. Been legit struggling for like a year. Usually ends up leading to me binge eating and wrecking my diet.
Unlike some of the other trolls up here I really have tried to shake this by staying active.
I have multiple jobs to stay busy. Learned to scuba dive last year and have been taking trips diving. Planning on learning to shoot a pistol this month and going to the range regularly to practice.
Also been reading more and more. Try to go outside when it’s warm to read in the park or at a coffee shop.
Things that bother me are that I don’t have many friends left. The ones I do have don’t live near me so as much as I try to get out and do things it’s always alone. That has benefits but it still bothers me.
I still go to the gym a lot. But not as locked in as I used to be which also bothers me. Same with my diet, not as locked in. When I slip up with these it’s mostly during swings of depression where I really don’t see the point.
A few other things I want to try this year are getting out and eating at restaurants at night every two weeks (mostly because my nightlife is non existent and I don’t really want to go to a bar alone) and I also was looking in to joining a kickball league in the spring.
I will say as much as I would like more friends, I also don’t really connect with many people well and it’s not worth it to be friends with people if it’s not a good fit.
So that compounds my depression. I remember when I was happiest it’s always when I had 1 really good friend (or gf) who I did everything with. I don’t need tons of people.
Still, that’s only a piece of my depression. I don’t know if having a new best friend or gf is actually a fix. A big part is still on me. I think about the future and I feel like there’s nothing to look forward to. Even with all of the new hobbies and activities I’ve tried.
Work sucks ass. And no e-brag but I make good money, especially with multiple jobs. But I hate them. It’s the same bullsh*t day in and day out. Never changes. I’m forced to endlessly play this corporate game. Like every company I was forced to do yearly goals and I seriously can’t think of a f*cking thing to put because I really don’t care so I basically just fake those and write something that sounds nice like I want to advance and contribute.
Truthfully though there’s no joy in doing well on a project for these companies. I already make money, so even promotions don’t really excite me. Sure it’s nice to collect more money but doesn’t change much in reality. It won’t make me stupid rich, maybe I can buy a couple nicer things or save a little more but life is unchanged so I legit don’t care if I get them or not these days.
I’d like to get a dog for maybe solve some of the companionship dislikes in my life but I need to buy a house first (I like bigger dogs and I don’t agree with having one in an apartment). I can afford plenty of houses right now, but I want to make sure I pick an area I want to stay in for awhile. I’ll actually be moving to a new city in the fall where I can have access to more hiking and kayaking (and downgrading to a smaller sized city than where I currently am which is also a plus imo). So long story short there, it’s going to likely be at least 1.5 years before I buy a house so no doggo before then.
But as I mentioned the companionship is only one piece of things I feel need corrected. I’m literally just unhappy. I’m not ugly or anything like these other guys in here. I’m mostly lost. The world and life in general just depress me.
Things I know I want to fix are better consistency with diet, some kind of companionship, and the hardest being my overall mindset to find some level of joy. They all kind of feed into each other making things worse but the last one is the real problem.
Anyway the struggle is real. Not trying to brag but I’m probably an example of someone people would think would never be depressed because I have no real reason to be depressed with so much going for me. And yet, I’m totally f*cked up. It makes no sense even to me.
"One day I won't be able to lift any more. Not I won't want to lift. I mean physically unable. That day could be decades from now or it could be tomorrow. All I know is that's the day I'll wish I could lift more than ever. The day I'd give anything for one more workout, one more set, or one more cardio session. So go hard and enjoy every workout, every set, every rep. Because one day you will wake up and you will never get it back."
-SoutheastBeast1
02-01-2022, 04:48 AM
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#9342
Originally Posted By SoutheastBeast1⏩
Well America is in steep decline. Standards are getting lower. You probably already made and it and see that and are bored. Also aging and wageslaving just suck. I'm about to turn 33 and just figuring this out. I'm starting to look older and don't have the energy I once did. Sure I'm still in better shape than most but I'm not early 20s anymore. But I'm lonely and bored doing the same routines every day at work. It causes and anxiety and depression. I also don't connect with anyone anymore. It gets worse the older I get. Wasn't so bad when I was like 25 but it's different now. How are you supposed to be happy if you don't connect with anyone or ever fit in? I don't think I'd even be deoressed if i was one of those social people that fit in and had people to talk to everywhere I went.Dear diary long read
Joining the depression crew. Been legit struggling for like a year. Usually ends up leading to me binge eating and wrecking my diet.
Unlike some of the other trolls up here I really have tried to shake this by staying active.
I have multiple jobs to stay busy. Learned to scuba dive last year and have been taking trips diving. Planning on learning to shoot a pistol this month and going to the range regularly to practice.
Also been reading more and more. Try to go outside when it’s warm to read in the park or at a coffee shop.
Things that bother me are that I don’t have many friends left. The ones I do have don’t live near me so as much as I try to get out and do things it’s always alone. That has benefits but it still bothers me.
I still go to the gym a lot. But not as locked in as I used to be which also bothers me. Same with my diet, not as locked in. When I slip up with these it’s mostly during swings of depression where I really don’t see the point.
A few other things I want to try this year are getting out and eating at restaurants at night every two weeks (mostly because my nightlife is non existent and I don’t really want to go to a bar alone) and I also was looking in to joining a kickball league in the spring.
I will say as much as I would like more friends, I also don’t really connect with many people well and it’s not worth it to be friends with people if it’s not a good fit.
So that compounds my depression. I remember when I was happiest it’s always when I had 1 really good friend (or gf) who I did everything with. I don’t need tons of people.
Still, that’s only a piece of my depression. I don’t know if having a new best friend or gf is actually a fix. A big part is still on me. I think about the future and I feel like there’s nothing to look forward to. Even with all of the new hobbies and activities I’ve tried.
Work sucks ass. And no e-brag but I make good money, especially with multiple jobs. But I hate them. It’s the same bullsh*t day in and day out. Never changes. I’m forced to endlessly play this corporate game. Like every company I was forced to do yearly goals and I seriously can’t think of a f*cking thing to put because I really don’t care so I basically just fake those and write something that sounds nice like I want to advance and contribute.
Truthfully though there’s no joy in doing well on a project for these companies. I already make money, so even promotions don’t really excite me. Sure it’s nice to collect more money but doesn’t change much in reality. It won’t make me stupid rich, maybe I can buy a couple nicer things or save a little more but life is unchanged so I legit don’t care if I get them or not these days.
I’d like to get a dog for maybe solve some of the companionship dislikes in my life but I need to buy a house first (I like bigger dogs and I don’t agree with having one in an apartment). I can afford plenty of houses right now, but I want to make sure I pick an area I want to stay in for awhile. I’ll actually be moving to a new city in the fall where I can have access to more hiking and kayaking (and downgrading to a smaller sized city than where I currently am which is also a plus imo). So long story short there, it’s going to likely be at least 1.5 years before I buy a house so no doggo before then.
But as I mentioned the companionship is only one piece of things I feel need corrected. I’m literally just unhappy. I’m not ugly or anything like these other guys in here. I’m mostly lost. The world and life in general just depress me.
Things I know I want to fix are better consistency with diet, some kind of companionship, and the hardest being my overall mindset to find some level of joy. They all kind of feed into each other making things worse but the last one is the real problem.
Anyway the struggle is real. Not trying to brag but I’m probably an example of someone people would think would never be depressed because I have no real reason to be depressed with so much going for me. And yet, I’m totally f*cked up. It makes no sense even to me.
Joining the depression crew. Been legit struggling for like a year. Usually ends up leading to me binge eating and wrecking my diet.
Unlike some of the other trolls up here I really have tried to shake this by staying active.
I have multiple jobs to stay busy. Learned to scuba dive last year and have been taking trips diving. Planning on learning to shoot a pistol this month and going to the range regularly to practice.
Also been reading more and more. Try to go outside when it’s warm to read in the park or at a coffee shop.
Things that bother me are that I don’t have many friends left. The ones I do have don’t live near me so as much as I try to get out and do things it’s always alone. That has benefits but it still bothers me.
I still go to the gym a lot. But not as locked in as I used to be which also bothers me. Same with my diet, not as locked in. When I slip up with these it’s mostly during swings of depression where I really don’t see the point.
A few other things I want to try this year are getting out and eating at restaurants at night every two weeks (mostly because my nightlife is non existent and I don’t really want to go to a bar alone) and I also was looking in to joining a kickball league in the spring.
I will say as much as I would like more friends, I also don’t really connect with many people well and it’s not worth it to be friends with people if it’s not a good fit.
So that compounds my depression. I remember when I was happiest it’s always when I had 1 really good friend (or gf) who I did everything with. I don’t need tons of people.
Still, that’s only a piece of my depression. I don’t know if having a new best friend or gf is actually a fix. A big part is still on me. I think about the future and I feel like there’s nothing to look forward to. Even with all of the new hobbies and activities I’ve tried.
Work sucks ass. And no e-brag but I make good money, especially with multiple jobs. But I hate them. It’s the same bullsh*t day in and day out. Never changes. I’m forced to endlessly play this corporate game. Like every company I was forced to do yearly goals and I seriously can’t think of a f*cking thing to put because I really don’t care so I basically just fake those and write something that sounds nice like I want to advance and contribute.
Truthfully though there’s no joy in doing well on a project for these companies. I already make money, so even promotions don’t really excite me. Sure it’s nice to collect more money but doesn’t change much in reality. It won’t make me stupid rich, maybe I can buy a couple nicer things or save a little more but life is unchanged so I legit don’t care if I get them or not these days.
I’d like to get a dog for maybe solve some of the companionship dislikes in my life but I need to buy a house first (I like bigger dogs and I don’t agree with having one in an apartment). I can afford plenty of houses right now, but I want to make sure I pick an area I want to stay in for awhile. I’ll actually be moving to a new city in the fall where I can have access to more hiking and kayaking (and downgrading to a smaller sized city than where I currently am which is also a plus imo). So long story short there, it’s going to likely be at least 1.5 years before I buy a house so no doggo before then.
But as I mentioned the companionship is only one piece of things I feel need corrected. I’m literally just unhappy. I’m not ugly or anything like these other guys in here. I’m mostly lost. The world and life in general just depress me.
Things I know I want to fix are better consistency with diet, some kind of companionship, and the hardest being my overall mindset to find some level of joy. They all kind of feed into each other making things worse but the last one is the real problem.
Anyway the struggle is real. Not trying to brag but I’m probably an example of someone people would think would never be depressed because I have no real reason to be depressed with so much going for me. And yet, I’m totally f*cked up. It makes no sense even to me.
PC specs
i9 9900k/AMD RX 6800 16 GB/16 GB RAM/LG BX 65'' OLED/Gigabyte GS27QC 27''
OLED Master Race crew
1440p 120+ fps only crew
6'2 master race crew
Audiophile crew
Metal crew
Introvert/INTJ crew
German crew
If you aren't getting stronger you aren't getting bigger crew
02-01-2022, 09:38 AM
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#9343
- bfdehewdbyywhn
- Registered User
-
- bfdehewdbyywhn
- Registered User
- Join Date: Oct 2019
- Age: 56
- Posts: 47,380
- Rep Power: 103861
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Originally Posted By Ironface⏩
I cut my face out on dating apps and I get matchesUnless your face is completely busted, I’m willing to bet your personality has something to do with it
HTC is too skinny for me. Fat Girls only crew. serious
Chubby Chaser and Fat Girls Only crew Founder
02-01-2022, 02:04 PM
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#9344
- dopamine72
- Endorphin Junkie
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- dopamine72
- Endorphin Junkie
- Join Date: Apr 2009
- Location: California, United States
- Posts: 32,991
- Rep Power: 228656
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Originally Posted By drFEEL⏩
99.9% of the time meds kill your endurance in the gym. Never heard of anything helping it.Has anyone experienced an improvement of athletic performance after starting anti-depressant medications?
My thought is that my symptoms are causing poor athletic performance. Some of my symptoms are non-restorative sleep, fatigue, no motivation, and requiring too much sleep.
As a result my cardio endurance is terrible and I am hoping that if I start treatment it will resolve.
My thought is that my symptoms are causing poor athletic performance. Some of my symptoms are non-restorative sleep, fatigue, no motivation, and requiring too much sleep.
As a result my cardio endurance is terrible and I am hoping that if I start treatment it will resolve.
Originally Posted By SoutheastBeast1⏩
I was in a similar situation last year, had everything going for me, a house, making good money, doing everything right but not able to enjoy anything and I mean anything...Nothing was enjoyable AKA legitimate anhedonia...I can't sayexactlywhat will work for you but I might be able to lead you in the right direction...What snapped me out of it was almost dying, ded srs. Begged god for my life for about 3 weeks strait when I thought I was internally bleeding still, going to sleep each night thinking I may not wake up.Dear diary long read
Joining the depression crew. Been legit struggling for like a year. Usually ends up leading to me binge eating and wrecking my diet.
Unlike some of the other trolls up here I really have tried to shake this by staying active.
I have multiple jobs to stay busy. Learned to scuba dive last year and have been taking trips diving. Planning on learning to shoot a pistol this month and going to the range regularly to practice.
Also been reading more and more. Try to go outside when it’s warm to read in the park or at a coffee shop.
Things that bother me are that I don’t have many friends left. The ones I do have don’t live near me so as much as I try to get out and do things it’s always alone. That has benefits but it still bothers me.
I still go to the gym a lot. But not as locked in as I used to be which also bothers me. Same with my diet, not as locked in. When I slip up with these it’s mostly during swings of depression where I really don’t see the point.
A few other things I want to try this year are getting out and eating at restaurants at night every two weeks (mostly because my nightlife is non existent and I don’t really want to go to a bar alone) and I also was looking in to joining a kickball league in the spring.
I will say as much as I would like more friends, I also don’t really connect with many people well and it’s not worth it to be friends with people if it’s not a good fit.
So that compounds my depression. I remember when I was happiest it’s always when I had 1 really good friend (or gf) who I did everything with. I don’t need tons of people.
Still, that’s only a piece of my depression. I don’t know if having a new best friend or gf is actually a fix. A big part is still on me. I think about the future and I feel like there’s nothing to look forward to. Even with all of the new hobbies and activities I’ve tried.
Work sucks ass. And no e-brag but I make good money, especially with multiple jobs. But I hate them. It’s the same bullsh*t day in and day out. Never changes. I’m forced to endlessly play this corporate game. Like every company I was forced to do yearly goals and I seriously can’t think of a f*cking thing to put because I really don’t care so I basically just fake those and write something that sounds nice like I want to advance and contribute.
Truthfully though there’s no joy in doing well on a project for these companies. I already make money, so even promotions don’t really excite me. Sure it’s nice to collect more money but doesn’t change much in reality. It won’t make me stupid rich, maybe I can buy a couple nicer things or save a little more but life is unchanged so I legit don’t care if I get them or not these days.
I’d like to get a dog for maybe solve some of the companionship dislikes in my life but I need to buy a house first (I like bigger dogs and I don’t agree with having one in an apartment). I can afford plenty of houses right now, but I want to make sure I pick an area I want to stay in for awhile. I’ll actually be moving to a new city in the fall where I can have access to more hiking and kayaking (and downgrading to a smaller sized city than where I currently am which is also a plus imo). So long story short there, it’s going to likely be at least 1.5 years before I buy a house so no doggo before then.
But as I mentioned the companionship is only one piece of things I feel need corrected. I’m literally just unhappy. I’m not ugly or anything like these other guys in here. I’m mostly lost. The world and life in general just depress me.
Things I know I want to fix are better consistency with diet, some kind of companionship, and the hardest being my overall mindset to find some level of joy. They all kind of feed into each other making things worse but the last one is the real problem.
Anyway the struggle is real. Not trying to brag but I’m probably an example of someone people would think would never be depressed because I have no real reason to be depressed with so much going for me. And yet, I’m totally f*cked up. It makes no sense even to me.
Joining the depression crew. Been legit struggling for like a year. Usually ends up leading to me binge eating and wrecking my diet.
Unlike some of the other trolls up here I really have tried to shake this by staying active.
I have multiple jobs to stay busy. Learned to scuba dive last year and have been taking trips diving. Planning on learning to shoot a pistol this month and going to the range regularly to practice.
Also been reading more and more. Try to go outside when it’s warm to read in the park or at a coffee shop.
Things that bother me are that I don’t have many friends left. The ones I do have don’t live near me so as much as I try to get out and do things it’s always alone. That has benefits but it still bothers me.
I still go to the gym a lot. But not as locked in as I used to be which also bothers me. Same with my diet, not as locked in. When I slip up with these it’s mostly during swings of depression where I really don’t see the point.
A few other things I want to try this year are getting out and eating at restaurants at night every two weeks (mostly because my nightlife is non existent and I don’t really want to go to a bar alone) and I also was looking in to joining a kickball league in the spring.
I will say as much as I would like more friends, I also don’t really connect with many people well and it’s not worth it to be friends with people if it’s not a good fit.
So that compounds my depression. I remember when I was happiest it’s always when I had 1 really good friend (or gf) who I did everything with. I don’t need tons of people.
Still, that’s only a piece of my depression. I don’t know if having a new best friend or gf is actually a fix. A big part is still on me. I think about the future and I feel like there’s nothing to look forward to. Even with all of the new hobbies and activities I’ve tried.
Work sucks ass. And no e-brag but I make good money, especially with multiple jobs. But I hate them. It’s the same bullsh*t day in and day out. Never changes. I’m forced to endlessly play this corporate game. Like every company I was forced to do yearly goals and I seriously can’t think of a f*cking thing to put because I really don’t care so I basically just fake those and write something that sounds nice like I want to advance and contribute.
Truthfully though there’s no joy in doing well on a project for these companies. I already make money, so even promotions don’t really excite me. Sure it’s nice to collect more money but doesn’t change much in reality. It won’t make me stupid rich, maybe I can buy a couple nicer things or save a little more but life is unchanged so I legit don’t care if I get them or not these days.
I’d like to get a dog for maybe solve some of the companionship dislikes in my life but I need to buy a house first (I like bigger dogs and I don’t agree with having one in an apartment). I can afford plenty of houses right now, but I want to make sure I pick an area I want to stay in for awhile. I’ll actually be moving to a new city in the fall where I can have access to more hiking and kayaking (and downgrading to a smaller sized city than where I currently am which is also a plus imo). So long story short there, it’s going to likely be at least 1.5 years before I buy a house so no doggo before then.
But as I mentioned the companionship is only one piece of things I feel need corrected. I’m literally just unhappy. I’m not ugly or anything like these other guys in here. I’m mostly lost. The world and life in general just depress me.
Things I know I want to fix are better consistency with diet, some kind of companionship, and the hardest being my overall mindset to find some level of joy. They all kind of feed into each other making things worse but the last one is the real problem.
Anyway the struggle is real. Not trying to brag but I’m probably an example of someone people would think would never be depressed because I have no real reason to be depressed with so much going for me. And yet, I’m totally f*cked up. It makes no sense even to me.
After I got over that I had a new perspective and even though my brain chem was still fuked I now had this edge I didn't have before that gave me the motivation to keep going and not give up. A month and a half later I tried micro dosing pramipexole and that was the game changer.
I believe allot of us have messed up our dopamine systems especially myself, and although I'm mostly anti medication this was something I needed to do and I'm glad I did because the difference is clear. No more anhedonia, I'm excited for activities, events, socializing again. I don't even have drug cravings. Just a heads up if you have any drug/alcohol cravings that is a sign of a chemical imbalance. Same with sleep issues since we're on the subject.
All of you better be exercising every day too. If you're not doing that then that's part of your issue, srs.
Journal: https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=139898123&page=240
02-02-2022, 05:36 PM
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#9345
Damn. I am sorry for you guys. I go in and out of depression/anxiety but it seems to go away for weeks. Then it comes back out of nowhere for about a week and i try to run/jog it off. I am sorry you guys struggling with this everyday. This **** fukin sucks. Normal people have no clue what real depression/anxiety is and i hate when normal people talk about it... very ignorant.
* Eggs and Rice crew *
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Strange hobbies
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MMGA
02-02-2022, 06:17 PM
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#9346
- BigTimePlayer
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- BigTimePlayer
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Tired of always having to force myself to do things since I don't feel well enough to naturally want to do it. The only time I feel somewhat normal is either late at night or after I workout but it's always temporary relief. Than I go to bed than the cycle repeats itself with the terrible mood swings again. I think I recently stated I already had blood work done to test for thyroid & every other thing & it came back normal. I suppose my brain chemistry in general is just completely out of whack since I do suffer from bad intrusive thoughts as well.
02-02-2022, 06:31 PM
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#9347
Originally Posted By BigTimePlayer⏩
Same i'm just always bored and when i get bored my anxiety, depression and mood swings flare up. I also have OCD too. It seems to go away at night but then comes back throughout the day. I've been thinking it's the caffeine i drink which messes up my sleep and increases cortisol which causes the mood swings but idk. I get them out of boredom too.Tired of always having to force myself to do things since I don't feel well enough to naturally want to do it. The only time I feel somewhat normal is either late at night or after I workout but it's always temporary relief. Than I go to bed than the cycle repeats itself with the terrible mood swings again. I think I recently stated I already had blood work done to test for thyroid & every other thing & it came back normal. I suppose my brain chemistry in general is just completely out of whack since I do suffer from bad intrusive thoughts as well.
PC specs
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02-02-2022, 06:40 PM
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#9348
And tbh my depression started when i got addicted to caffeine. I need to quit.
PC specs
i9 9900k/AMD RX 6800 16 GB/16 GB RAM/LG BX 65'' OLED/Gigabyte GS27QC 27''
OLED Master Race crew
1440p 120+ fps only crew
6'2 master race crew
Audiophile crew
Metal crew
Introvert/INTJ crew
German crew
If you aren't getting stronger you aren't getting bigger crew
02-03-2022, 07:59 AM
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#9349
- lancefraudd
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- lancefraudd
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I hate life
02-03-2022, 12:37 PM
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#9350
- otisthebat
- On The Truer Path
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- otisthebat
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
Im pretty sure your depression started in 2015 with the start up of CERN. You should watch more Netflix and talk about food.And tbh my depression started when i got addicted to caffeine. I need to quit.
I would die for Palestine
02-03-2022, 06:31 PM
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#9351
- dopamine72
- Endorphin Junkie
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- dopamine72
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Originally Posted By BigTimePlayer⏩
Tired of always having to force myself to do things since I don't feel well enough to naturally want to do it. The only time I feel somewhat normal is either late at night or after I workout but it's always temporary relief. Than I go to bed than the cycle repeats itself with the terrible mood swings again. I think I recently stated I already had blood work done to test for thyroid & every other thing & it came back normal. I suppose my brain chemistry in general is just completely out of whack since I do suffer from bad intrusive thoughts as well.
Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
Both of these posts hint at dopamine issues imoSame i'm just always bored and when i get bored my anxiety, depression and mood swings flare up. I also have OCD too. It seems to go away at night but then comes back throughout the day. I've been thinking it's the caffeine i drink which messes up my sleep and increases cortisol which causes the mood swings but idk. I get them out of boredom too.
Did you guys even look at my post about pramipexole? Lots of people use it including bodybuilders.
I had the same issues where there was no motivation or drive to do anything and I mean everything, after workouts and nights were the only times I felt somewhat normal, the rest of the time was torture, especially waking up in the mornings (fuking BRUTAL). Only reason I was able to maintain on no meds was because I knew my life would get worse if I didn't keep working, exercising, taking care of myself etc. But I had absolutely ZERO pleasure. This is also known as anhedonia and I can totally see this phenomenon in many posts on this website.
Micro dosing pramipexole @ 0.0625 - 0.125mg 1x a day 2 hours before bed is enough to induce a significant change in your ability to feel more pleasure, motivation, drive and simply enjoy life. I strongly urge you boyos to try this stuff and nothing else. PM me if you got questions.
I cannot stress enough how much this one drug completely took away all the pain / anguish I was experiencing for 5+ years. I now wake up in the morning excited for the day and I never thought that would be possible for me.
Journal: https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=139898123&page=240
02-04-2022, 05:38 AM
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#9352
- lancefraudd
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- lancefraudd
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Originally Posted By dopamine72⏩
How do we get it in Australia do we need prescription, can we buy online? sounds like something i might needBoth of these posts hint at dopamine issues imo
Did you guys even look at my post about pramipexole? Lots of people use it including bodybuilders.
I had the same issues where there was no motivation or drive to do anything and I mean everything, after workouts and nights were the only times I felt somewhat normal, the rest of the time was torture, especially waking up in the mornings (fuking BRUTAL). Only reason I was able to maintain on no meds was because I knew my life would get worse if I didn't keep working, exercising, taking care of myself etc. But I had absolutely ZERO pleasure. This is also known as anhedonia and I can totally see this phenomenon in many posts on this website.
Micro dosing pramipexole @ 0.0625 - 0.125mg 1x a day 2 hours before bed is enough to induce a significant change in your ability to feel more pleasure, motivation, drive and simply enjoy life. I strongly urge you boyos to try this stuff and nothing else. PM me if you got questions.
I cannot stress enough how much this one drug completely took away all the pain / anguish I was experiencing for 5+ years. I now wake up in the morning excited for the day and I never thought that would be possible for me.
Did you guys even look at my post about pramipexole? Lots of people use it including bodybuilders.
I had the same issues where there was no motivation or drive to do anything and I mean everything, after workouts and nights were the only times I felt somewhat normal, the rest of the time was torture, especially waking up in the mornings (fuking BRUTAL). Only reason I was able to maintain on no meds was because I knew my life would get worse if I didn't keep working, exercising, taking care of myself etc. But I had absolutely ZERO pleasure. This is also known as anhedonia and I can totally see this phenomenon in many posts on this website.
Micro dosing pramipexole @ 0.0625 - 0.125mg 1x a day 2 hours before bed is enough to induce a significant change in your ability to feel more pleasure, motivation, drive and simply enjoy life. I strongly urge you boyos to try this stuff and nothing else. PM me if you got questions.
I cannot stress enough how much this one drug completely took away all the pain / anguish I was experiencing for 5+ years. I now wake up in the morning excited for the day and I never thought that would be possible for me.
02-04-2022, 03:27 PM
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#9353
Man there's just nothing to do
PC specs
i9 9900k/AMD RX 6800 16 GB/16 GB RAM/LG BX 65'' OLED/Gigabyte GS27QC 27''
OLED Master Race crew
1440p 120+ fps only crew
6'2 master race crew
Audiophile crew
Metal crew
Introvert/INTJ crew
German crew
If you aren't getting stronger you aren't getting bigger crew
02-04-2022, 03:40 PM
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#9354
And once again i go lift and then have nothing else to do so start browsing the internet and get mood swings. There's just nothing to do. Idk what people are constantly doing that makes them happy.
PC specs
i9 9900k/AMD RX 6800 16 GB/16 GB RAM/LG BX 65'' OLED/Gigabyte GS27QC 27''
OLED Master Race crew
1440p 120+ fps only crew
6'2 master race crew
Audiophile crew
Metal crew
Introvert/INTJ crew
German crew
If you aren't getting stronger you aren't getting bigger crew
02-04-2022, 04:34 PM
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#9355
- BigTimePlayer
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- BigTimePlayer
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
Don't you at least play videogames to pass the time?And once again i go lift and then have nothing else to do so start browsing the internet and get mood swings. There's just nothing to do. Idk what people are constantly doing that makes them happy.
02-04-2022, 04:37 PM
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#9356
Originally Posted By BigTimePlayer⏩
Yeah but i have to force myself most days. And usually i can't play more than an hour. I mostly just browse youtube and misc all day because there's nothing else to doDon't you at least play videogames to pass the time?
PC specs
i9 9900k/AMD RX 6800 16 GB/16 GB RAM/LG BX 65'' OLED/Gigabyte GS27QC 27''
OLED Master Race crew
1440p 120+ fps only crew
6'2 master race crew
Audiophile crew
Metal crew
Introvert/INTJ crew
German crew
If you aren't getting stronger you aren't getting bigger crew
02-04-2022, 06:31 PM
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#9357
- dopamine72
- Endorphin Junkie
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- dopamine72
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Originally Posted By lancefraudd⏩
I get it prescribed but its not a controlled substance so it is online too. Be careful with Pramipexole because if you don't taper up and start too high it can give extreme side effects. Stuff is potent as hell, hence why I only see the need to micro dose it. The whole conclusion I've come to with meds is use as little as possible to get the "drive" you need so life doesn't seem like a living hell.How do we get it in Australia do we need prescription, can we buy online? sounds like something i might need
I do not believe in getting high off meds like most peopleAREdoing.Mostpeople on meds are overmedicated period, its a huge epidemic but that's another discussion. Point is you want to remember life, be coherent, still have your god given intuition for properly socializing and bonding with people. You do not want to be out of it and miss out on life, that's worse than suffering almost. What the hell would the point of life be if you're medded up so hard you breeze through it with very little good memories, connections, etc etc.
PM'd
Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
You are in control of "if there is something to do or not". To speak in absolutes like there isn't anything else to do says allot about your issues brother.Yeah but i have to force myself most days. And usually i can't play more than an hour. I mostly just browse youtube and misc all day because there's nothing else to do
If you were around my area I'd offer to meetup and show you how much more there is to fuking do in this world lol.
I know you won't do this but taking a full week off of the internet and going outside/doing a variety of activities would do you wonders.
Journal: https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showthread.php?t=139898123&page=240
02-04-2022, 10:40 PM
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#9358
- lancefraudd
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- lancefraudd
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Originally Posted By dopamine72⏩
Just ordered it. Will let you know when i get itI get it prescribed but its not a controlled substance so it is online too. Be careful with Pramipexole because if you don't taper up and start too high it can give extreme side effects. Stuff is potent as hell, hence why I only see the need to micro dose it. The whole conclusion I've come to with meds is use as little as possible to get the "drive" you need so life doesn't seem like a living hell.
I do not believe in getting high off meds like most peopleAREdoing.Mostpeople on meds are overmedicated period, its a huge epidemic but that's another discussion. Point is you want to remember life, be coherent, still have your god given intuition for properly socializing and bonding with people. You do not want to be out of it and miss out on life, that's worse than suffering almost. What the hell would the point of life be if you're medded up so hard you breeze through it with very little good memories, connections, etc etc.
PM'd
You are in control of "if there is something to do or not". To speak in absolutes like there isn't anything else to do says allot about your issues brother.
If you were around my area I'd offer to meetup and show you how much more there is to fuking do in this world lol.
I know you won't do this but taking a full week off of the internet and going outside/doing a variety of activities would do you wonders.
I do not believe in getting high off meds like most peopleAREdoing.Mostpeople on meds are overmedicated period, its a huge epidemic but that's another discussion. Point is you want to remember life, be coherent, still have your god given intuition for properly socializing and bonding with people. You do not want to be out of it and miss out on life, that's worse than suffering almost. What the hell would the point of life be if you're medded up so hard you breeze through it with very little good memories, connections, etc etc.
PM'd
You are in control of "if there is something to do or not". To speak in absolutes like there isn't anything else to do says allot about your issues brother.
If you were around my area I'd offer to meetup and show you how much more there is to fuking do in this world lol.
I know you won't do this but taking a full week off of the internet and going outside/doing a variety of activities would do you wonders.
02-04-2022, 10:41 PM
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#9359
- lancefraudd
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- lancefraudd
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Originally Posted By eod8989⏩
Im spending the whole day watching netflixAnd once again i go lift and then have nothing else to do so start browsing the internet and get mood swings. There's just nothing to do. Idk what people are constantly doing that makes them happy.
nothing to do really
02-05-2022, 07:09 AM
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#9360
- OneLegSquats
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- OneLegSquats
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Microdose shrooms ded srs
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