Every day I drive my kids to practice and we talk about their day, what they encountered, what they learned, what happened at school.......we listen to music (they love linkin park) and we also listen to podcast. We were listening to a Kobe Bryant interview and one of the things that he reminded everyone listening was that "The Journey is the dream"......."the people you cross paths with, you compete against, your mentors and coaches who instill lessons, life lessons.....dont forget to enjoy that part. Everybody wants the trophies, the MVP, the all star bid and thats great, thats what you should strive for but that doesn't happen by accident - the process manifest that"

I thought that was a powerful thing for my kids to soak in and honestly, its powerful for EVERYONE to soak in.
This is complimented by something our BJJ instructor said to us this morning while we were stretching and getting ready for battle at 6 am. He said "I believe the way of the warrior IS THE WAY" Most people wouldnt subject themselves to waking up at 5 am out of their comfortable beds to come here and get crushed for no alterior motive"

That chit sunk in for me when I was stretching. Here I am, I have put myself in a position to buy our do almost anything within reason (no flying to the moon or buying private islands and such....) but here I am, on that mat, 6 am, tired as hell and preparing for battle. Preparing to be humbled. Preparing to choke or be choked.

That chit isnt comfortable at all. It actually gives me slight anxiety as I get ready to drive there. But that is the kind of pressure I believe it takes to produce diamonds.

I share this with you as I see a lot of "stuck in a rut" type comments on the misc lately. I share this because those people that feel that way should understand that EVERYONE feels stuck in a rut at some point in their life, they feel sadness, or they feel like they arent doing enough or arent far enough along in life etc.

The ones that become successful are the ones that embrace that grind, tackle their anxiety head on, and come out the other end beat up but stronger. I know this stuff sounds cliche......but its absolutely true.
There is hope for us all. Go soak in that journey bros.

Agreed. Working sales I've learned you must trust the process. Otherwise you'll lose your mind.

100% applicable. There are different paths to sales. Some take the short road (transactional) while others take the long road (strategic) There are different modes for certain scenarios but in my career I almost always found the strategic (longer term deep rooted) path has always yielded higher benefit for all involved.

Keep hustling brad.

tldr but just the thread title motivated me this morning. thanks op

your priorities will more than likely change as you get older. Be prepared bro

We're made to struggle, and if we don't struggle now we struggle later with being too weak to physically and/or mentally to handle it.

We grow through struggle. You don't appreciate life to it's fullest unless you become a wiser person through experience and discomfort.

Well said OP.

Damn, very well said. Im going to use this as I chat with my kids today. Thank you.

I honestly was opened up to another world when I stepped on the BJJ mats. Its a different kind of struggle when you go multiple times a week and get as close straight up fighting with another man as you can get without it actually being a fight. Its a whole new level of discomfort for me and i hate it and love it at the same time.

Good point. Ever stop to think and wonder why kids that come from very wealthy families become drug addicts and or failures? I think its because even though they can buy anything they want, the still fill unfulfilled. And its because that real fulfillment doesnt come from that chit. Again cliche, but its so true from my experience.

Its also why getting an escort is the outlier vs the norm. Getting your rocks off is one thing. But there is no fulfillment in paying directly for it (i know many argue that you pay one way or another but its very different paths of payment) for most people.

From my experience (being smack dab in the middle of an affluent area in the 4th largest city in the nation) most men of wealth marry women with very good genetics but they are not "retarded bimbos". Most of these women look great (good genetics) and come from family backgrounds of wealth themselves. But in your example, couldnt you argue that the reason why those kids are failures is because father is too busy making money leaving retarded bimbo mother to instill the wrong values in the kid? She gave good physical genetics.

My stance on nature vs nurture is that there needs to be a complimentary balance. My other stance is that one is way more controllable than the other so for that, I focus most of my time on what I can control.

Would rep, but you're always on recharge.

I was re-reading an old book (MJ Demarco, millionaire fastlane), chit title, but it has some good knowledge/truth bombs in it and the author writes in a really blunt way.

One of things he mentions is that Wealth (not just financial..) is an Event and that's what people focus on. Everyone focuses on wanting the beach front mansion or the lamborghini, but they don't focus on the Process and that's the most important thing, as that it what's going to get you there.

Everyone wants nice things, everyone wants to work part time or be retired, have money, travel etc - but that's all just an end game result of the years or decades of hard and consistent work, everyday.



On another note ; I firmly believe that life is full of distractions and if you can avoid those then you will put yourself in such a stronger position. Ultimately, everyone knows at the end of the day what is good for them and what is bad for them - but most people are just running on autopilot of doing the same chit day in / day out and expecting some kind of different result (which is the definition of insanity).

And a man without any PURPOSE in life, is a man who finds himself very easily distracted.

I'm sure OP knows what it's like based on previous posts, but when you have a clear goal or focus, nothing gets in the way of it and you will do everything it takes to achieve it. You don't look for "motivation" videos on youtube, because it's a distraction from actually doing whatever it is you're procrastinating from.


When you can avoid the things that are bad for you, you actively seek in things that are difficult/challenging/good for you that take you out of your comfort zones and then stay CONSISTENT with it and give it time - then you will be in a completely different situation in 3,6,12 months + from now.

Repped.

You seem like a great father OP. I truly believe the best thing a father can give/pass to their kids is not the money, not even the skills (academic skills etc... which is important, but not the most important). Is the mentality.

Great job OP.

LexBro you always on recharge as well. So many great nuggets of perspective and data coming from battle tested individuals in this thread. Your post shared a ton of useful data, but as the MISC has some slight ADD, i urge those seeking for nuggets of data to move forward to soak in this part. People always ask other people "whats the forumla?" And typically you get a response that you are not satisfied with because there really is not detailed formula. But this data from Lex is as close to a formula for success that can be applied. The CONSISTENT part is key to it either working or not working.

Thanks bro. I agree......thats the stuff that takes much longer than teaching math or giving money to the kid. You either set that foundation over many influential years or you dont. Respect bro.

agreed

people are always wanting more and think they'll finally be "happy" when this or that happens

the truth is that you'll probably never be truly satisfied with life even if you reach all your biggest goals and dreams, you need to be content with where you are in life and be happy with what you currently have

you see some of the most successful people of all time talking about their mental health and this and that

Agree with you 100% brah. Personally started doing BJJ myself about 4.5 years ago, and it's completely changed my life and how I approach problems. At 27 I was just floating from job to job, no real aspirations, just kind of going with the flow. Then BJJ happened and it fundamentally changed how I saw the world. I also used to go to the 6am class, but mostly because it was the "beginners" class and there would only be 5-6 people there, mostly my same level. After the first six months of that I started going to the 11am class, which is the "competition" class and jesus christ man. I would get mauled horrifically every single day for YEARS. I still get fukked up there depending on who I roll with, but now that I'm almost a purple belt I can impose my will on the white belts and some of the blue belts, and give some of the purple belts a hard time but it's still a struggle. I still get anxiety driving to class, and I vividly remember a few days during that first year. One day after a particularly awful class, one of the black belts took me out for a couple of beers and he says to me "you're in the chit right now, but remember, a battle of miles is won in inches. it's better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war." That really stuck with me.

Anyway, after starting BJJ I also realized that the grind is what it's about. Now I'm on a full ride scholarship to my dream law school, and although this first year has been a royal chit show, I know it's part of the process, and everyone has to go through it. I was watching The Paper Chase a few months back and it blew my mind that a movie made about the first year of law school in 1973 is still extremely relevant today. Even the cases they cite in the movie are ones that I've learned this year, and that's just a testament to how old the institution is, and reinforces that I just have to get through it.

I still make time to go to BJJ 3 nights a week because it's the only thing that keeps me sane. I feel bad for a lot of my classmates who have no way to cope with the stress. I used to rag on vegans and crossfitters for always preaching their chit, but I'm the same way with BJJ lol. I try to tone it down when I can but it's hard to not be annoying about something that changes your life for the better.

Anyway, just wanted to say I agree with ya, and if any miscers are feeling stuck right now, remember this too shall pass. We're all gonna make it. Keep hustlin cuzzz

Again, so many great nuggets of real life perspective in this posts but this was powerful bro. Never heard it put like this but I absolutely agree and live by that mentality. Will share with my boys so they understand why the swords consistently get sharpened even though they might not feel why they need to be sharp at the moment.

100% as well on the 6 am class however we have a great mix of beginners and higher belts. What we dont have in that class is the 24 year olds training to become world champion one day. I do nothing for that person (train at a very competition focused gym) but my experience has been sparring with higher belts is much less chaotic while training with other beginners allows me to see the openings I need to be seeing. Great perspective man.

BJJ crew.

Thanks for the thread OP, cancels out 90% of all the other negative stuff you see on the misc these days.

"If you know the way broadly you will see it in all things"