Sounds awful! I remember your Megs accountability thread where you struggled to make friends. Hope you find some good friends soon!

I like being on my own, gives me time to catch up on house chores, watch that movie I never got round to watching, make some meal that takes all day and lots of preparation, play on games that are solo only.

I guess it’s about really just enjoying your own company more than the company of other people yano. out of the 4 weekends a month I’d like to spend 3 of them alone.

If I was a Chad id spend the late evenings on weekends fkn a sloot then kicking her out by 12am but that’s the only thing I’d put time to the side for on my weekends.

You too. I mean it. It's tough to be alone. My accountability thread is still going, but I had to take some rest days since I overdid it. lol. I was showing off.

Being friendly is a lot about mindset. My mindset is piss poor, but better than it was. There was a time, after the non-consensual porno (I complain about that constantly too) that I was so pissed that I just didn't want to even see humans. I find in my life that I'm the driving force behind all friendships. The world is apathetic, and at best will get caught up in my current, but no one is going to walk up to me and want to be friends. They might try to get a poke, but that's not actually friendly in my experience.

So I tell myself to get less pissed, to be nice, etc. but then fear creeps in because that's exactly how I was when I was filmed without consent during a rape. I know that my chances of having a great social life rise dramatically if I was more trusting.

I don't know how to change or even if I should. back during my experiment of trying to get friends I found I waited around a lot for people to show up. It was very boring. Trying to make room for others in my life seemed to result in long stretches of wasted time. It could be that being alone as i've been for 11 years is my true desire. that feeling of discontent could simply be my vestigial evolutionary need to be around people.

If that's the case, then I feel like I should start to just identify as someone who has made a dang choice to be alone, and is happy with that choice. It's just that the little girl in me still wants a pal.

Yeah I met my gf almost a decade ago but I can't relate to anyone else these days

I try to talk to people but it never goes beyond awkward small talk that is boring

yeah i talk to a few guys at the gym, but we never get to truly know eachother or spend time with eachother outside the gym. Most the time i never even see them again because i go at different gym at different times

Ok but even at the gym after you talk about a workout or sportsball a bunch of times what else would you keep talking about? I can talk about video games at work but after 20 times i get bored.

Yeah i get kind of bored too. I bumped into an old highschool friend at the gym a few days ago. We talked about work, asked him if he still talks to anyone from our high school, a little about russia ukraine, UFC, what his training routine is etc. Dont know what else to say

good friends- I'd say a couple going back to childhood. My best friend I met when I was 13 and I still consider her my best friend today. I have a bunch of acquaintances as well that I occasionally get together with but it's not like we talk all the time.

How many friends/acquiantences in total (that you hang out with at least occasionally)

A handful that I'll shoot the **** with here and there, like every few days or weekly.

As for hanging out maybe see friend once or twice a month if that.

That's also counting my younger brother, we'll watch fights/UFC, football, etc.

Its hard to find friends as an adult.

I have some "friends" as in people who Im cool with that could help me out but we dont really hang out, they are married, have kids ect.

That I don't consider my really good friends? Prob 5 or so.