thats not a joke id fire you for thinking it was

Don't agree with how sensitive everyone has become and the tattletale culture but fawk OP, saying chit like that in the presence of women you don't know well, you retarded AF.

bs. professionalism means you smile, you say good morning, you act placid and pleasant at all times. You do NOT pull out your wang like OP and start clowning around, masturbating or whatever. Do your job, don't do your personality. No one is your friend at work. Work is about one thing and one thing only. getting the job done. ded fukin srs. The reason for this distance, and for this artificial pleasantness (which makes work so goddamn disingenuous) is because you're dealing with a wide variety of people. The common ground is not your shared political or personal views, it's the exchange of goods and services. Be honest with yourself - would you ever be caught dead chillin with the idiots at work? No. Don't make work about you or you'll be the center of attention, and then have to make whining little bitch ass posts, "boo hoo someone clapped me on the ass just because I jizzed on the meeting table!" It's not that difficult to understand, but I'll grant you, keeping a total lid on your personality is very, very miserable. But the upside is that if everyone at work frauds, you don't have to deal with them, just like they dont have to deal with you.

fuken lol.
Yeah man,only joke around those that you're cool with. Have seen this happened many times in my workplace.

Damn...all of this just to make a joke that wasn't even funny.

Yup. Sorry bro but if srs you pretty much deserve what's coming on grounds of stupidity alone.

it's a jab at the lisp. Basically hardy harr at any woman that is submissive to males in a sexual situation because who would want to honor men unless you were a very low IQ woman. sexy women get this crap all the time. the joke basically means don't let yourself feel sexy unless you want to be the butt of a joke. Hilarious. Incidentally, some of the most macho dudes lisp during sex talk. ded fukkin srs. Lisps aren't a sign of a moral failing, it's just a sign of being engaged in sex. In my experience being "cool" and detached during sex leads to an incredibly boring experience.

I don't think the joke was funny, and that just underlines the main point here - no one is your friend at work. OP can make his dweeby jokes with his other incel virgin friends at home, but maybe someone at work actually enjoys orgasm on their own time and they don't appreciate being ridiculed at work for non work place activities. Orgasm entails a kind of push and pull and exchange of power, that isn't actually funny if you're engaged in it, but could be seen as funny if you're fully alien to the activity.No, if you are a clown and want to joke around, then stay home until you've grown up and are ready to take a work place attitude to work. You don't get hired to sun your ass and teeheehee at work.

You should change your sig to Khan of Karens jfc