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Forum » best way to combine finances (if at all) with your wife
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Thread: best way to combine finances (if at all) with your wife

post 1661234183 05-13-2022, 10:18 AM
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best way to combine finances (if at all) with your wife

incels stay out plz



For married brahs…… did you combine finances with your wife? To what extent?


Part of me thinks it would be nice to just keep everything separate while still “splitting” or sharing some expenses like mortgage etc, but that doesn’t seem super realistic I guess? Idk — what’s the best way to do it, assuming you have a wife that also works and makes decent money

(ded fkn Srs)
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post 1661234253 05-13-2022, 10:21 AM
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You need a private account for when you cheat on her.

What she doesn't know won't hurt her.
post 1661234283 05-13-2022, 10:22 AM
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Joint account and I manage all of our finances, my woman doesn't even log into our accounts

She managed it when I was in school though
post 1661234293 05-13-2022, 10:22 AM
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post 1661234423 05-13-2022, 10:24 AM
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We had separate accounts before we were married, then kept the same accounts but added each other to the accounts, then ended up condensing down to one a couple years later just because it was more convenient. I think it was after one of us changed jobs and it was easier just to do direct deposit into one account. What works for one doesn't work for all though.
#
post 1661234443 05-13-2022, 10:24 AM
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Originally Posted By notbadnotbrad⏩
You need a private account for when you cheat on her.

What she doesn't know won't hurt her.
Yeah I’m definitely going to sock away a few hundred a month on a massage parlor / nose-beer account (ded fkn Srs)
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~nothing is permanent so just enjoy the ride crew~
~2.5 inch dink crew~
~Forgive yourself crew~
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~deep, sustained sexual eye contact with your own nephew crew~
post 1661234583 05-13-2022, 10:27 AM
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Originally Posted By XterraRob⏩
Joint account if she is a stay at home Mom.

Keep it separate if you are both earners.
I like the idea of keeping it separate

What is the rationale / how do you sell this idea to the woman?


(ded fkn Srs)
~focus on what you can control crew~
~flaccid cummer crew~
~you are who you surround yourself with crew~
~mum was an escort crew~
~nothing is permanent so just enjoy the ride crew~
~2.5 inch dink crew~
~Forgive yourself crew~
~Accused of incest by extended family crew~
~It's up to you to fix your life crew~
~deep, sustained sexual eye contact with your own nephew crew~
post 1661234643 05-13-2022, 10:28 AM
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Never let her know how much money you have.
post 1661234653 05-13-2022, 10:28 AM
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Joint account. List each other's obligations for that account (e.g. rent, mortgage, hookers).

Keep separate for each other. Pay goes into your own.
post 1661234683 05-13-2022, 10:29 AM
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I was 22 and my wife was 20 when we got married. Both in college, both with no assets worth talking about. I've been the primary breadwinner and she hasn't worked outside the home since we had our first child. Our finances are 100% combined. If I were in your shoes, I would think pretty hard about keeping things separate. If I was getting married at 35 (can't remember your age for sure) I would talk to an attorney and get advice tailored to the state I lived in, and get a prenuptial agreement.
MFC
post 1661234713 05-13-2022, 10:29 AM
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Share everything crew.

If I wasn’t comfortable sharing everything why would I marry her?
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post 1661234743 05-13-2022, 10:29 AM
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-best way
-combine finances

Pick one
post 1661234793 05-13-2022, 10:30 AM
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Originally Posted By FarmersSon⏩
I was 22 and my wife was 20 when we got married. Both in college, both with no assets worth talking about. I've been the primary breadwinner and she hasn't worked outside the home since we had our first child. Our finances are 100% combined. If I were in your shoes, I would think pretty hard about keeping things separate. If I was getting married at 35 (can't remember your age for sure) I would talk to an attorney and get advice tailored to the state I lived in, and get a prenuptial agreement.
Thx man solid advice (ded fkn Srs)
~focus on what you can control crew~
~flaccid cummer crew~
~you are who you surround yourself with crew~
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~nothing is permanent so just enjoy the ride crew~
~2.5 inch dink crew~
~Forgive yourself crew~
~Accused of incest by extended family crew~
~It's up to you to fix your life crew~
~deep, sustained sexual eye contact with your own nephew crew~
post 1661234813 05-13-2022, 10:31 AM
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It's easy enough to come up with whatever lame excuse why 'your business' requires you to have a prenuptial agreement.
post 1661235173 05-13-2022, 10:36 AM
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Not married yet but in a really LTR so this has been considered:
-Joint account we each contribute to that pays for bills/living expenses.
-Joint savings account we each contribute to that pays for vacations/luxury expenses that are enjoyed by both.
-Each a personal account that we use for our own discretionary purchases.


I know a lot of married couples that have this discussion if they are going go buy something worth a certain amount of money. If they want to spend X amount on just a luxury purchase for them. Etc. One guy I know and his wife have an agreement to have a discussion about any purchase over $100. (Lmao)

I'm a pretty simple guy. But if I decide I'm going to go trade my motorcycle or boat in an get a new one. Or buy a second one. Or buy anything else that I want. I'm not going to ask anyone for permission and I'm certainly not going to be nagged about it.




If things ever did fall through with this girl. I'd most likely date a younger girl that doesn't have a career. She can work a little part time job for discretionary purchases if she wants. Or just sit at home and be a house-wife that cooks/cleans/handles chores . But she gets no input on financial matters at all and I pay for everything.



Either way I don't believe a man should be controlled by his girlfriend or wife.
post 1661235243 05-13-2022, 10:36 AM
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We just eventually got one bank account. Large purchases are discussed with each other. She trusts me to make the big decisions.
I'm back, bitches!
post 1661235943 05-13-2022, 10:50 AM
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Originally Posted By Muzzlrpress⏩
We just eventually got one bank account. Large purchases are discussed with each other. She trusts me to make the big decisions.
Did either or you have assets from before the marriage that you wanted to protect? One account is just simpler and less to manage. In my mind the tradeoff is asset protection vs convenience. For us there was no downside.
MFC
post 1661236243 05-13-2022, 10:54 AM
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Originally Posted By FarmersSon⏩
I was 22 and my wife was 20 when we got married. Both in college, both with no assets worth talking about. I've been the primary breadwinner and she hasn't worked outside the home since we had our first child. Our finances are 100% combined. If I were in your shoes, I would think pretty hard about keeping things separate. If I was getting married at 35 (can't remember your age for sure) I would talk to an attorney and get advice tailored to the state I lived in, and get a prenuptial agreement.
Pretty solid. Same situation for me, basically. (Also 5 kids crew)

So, OP, get her pregnant and keep her living nice on your huge income. DFS
post 1661236283 05-13-2022, 10:55 AM
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Originally Posted By jreacher⏩
Pretty solid. Same situation for me, basically. (Also 5 kids crew)

So, OP, get her pregnant and keep her living nice on your huge income. DFS
On spread brah

she makes more than me lol (ded fkn Srs)
~focus on what you can control crew~
~flaccid cummer crew~
~you are who you surround yourself with crew~
~mum was an escort crew~
~nothing is permanent so just enjoy the ride crew~
~2.5 inch dink crew~
~Forgive yourself crew~
~Accused of incest by extended family crew~
~It's up to you to fix your life crew~
~deep, sustained sexual eye contact with your own nephew crew~
post 1661236703 05-13-2022, 11:01 AM
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Srs question. If you want to remain separate why would you consider marriage? Going into it with the mentality that there are some things that aren't shared is confusing to me. Marriage is about becoming a single entity (embodied by the family).
The closer we approach the uncertainty of life's ending the more we wish to trade all of the things we have acquired in exchange for all of the things we have lost: wealth for youth, knowledge for fresh curiosity, resignation for hope. We'd trade our wisdom for new experiences, but it is wisdom that will teach us that at the end of the road the only new experience is death.
post 1661236913 05-13-2022, 11:05 AM
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post 1661236933 05-13-2022, 11:05 AM
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Originally Posted By FarmersSon⏩
Did either or you have assets from before the marriage that you wanted to protect? One account is just simpler and less to manage. In my mind the tradeoff is asset protection vs convenience. For us there was no downside.
No, we didn't have much in the beginning. Marriage is supposed to be combining into one, so separate wasn't the plan anyway. If things happen and we get divorced, she get's half the money. Simple as that. The plan is forever, but if it doesn't work out, the loss of my family will hit me harder than any monetary loss.
I'm back, bitches!
post 1661236983 05-13-2022, 11:06 AM
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A buddy of mine said that he and his wife have their separate private accounts (for their own individual expenditures) and a joint account (for expenses that involve both of them). He said it works for him and his wife so that's an option.
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post 1661236993 05-13-2022, 11:06 AM
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Originally Posted By MyGhettoFantasy⏩
Srs question. If you want to remain separate why would you consider marriage? Going into it with the mentality that there are some things that aren't shared is confusing to me. Marriage is about becoming a single entity (embodied by the family).
some weird mental defect I have



I take pride in the money I’ve saved and so combining our $ almost seems like it’s watering down or taking away from the financial milestones I want to achieve

Obviously I should reframe those goals as shared goals with the girl (ded fkn Srs)
~focus on what you can control crew~
~flaccid cummer crew~
~you are who you surround yourself with crew~
~mum was an escort crew~
~nothing is permanent so just enjoy the ride crew~
~2.5 inch dink crew~
~Forgive yourself crew~
~Accused of incest by extended family crew~
~It's up to you to fix your life crew~
~deep, sustained sexual eye contact with your own nephew crew~
post 1661237083 05-13-2022, 11:08 AM
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Originally Posted By jamalfudge⏩
We had separate accounts before we were married, then kept the same accounts but added each other to the accounts, then ended up condensing down to one a couple years later just because it was more convenient. I think it was after one of us changed jobs and it was easier just to do direct deposit into one account. What works for one doesn't work for all though.
Exactly this. Much easier with just one account. My money is hers anyway and vice versa so I don't have any issues with it. Her paychecks as well as mine direct deposit into it. If I want to buy stuff on the sly I use my business account.
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post 1661237093 05-13-2022, 11:08 AM
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Originally Posted By Destor⏩
Joint account and I manage all of our finances, my woman doesn't even log into our accounts

She managed it when I was in school though
This -- everything joint and managed by myself.

We also got married when we had less than nothing though, so legally everything would be split anyways. Not sure how I would feel if I was getting married now.
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post 1661237283 05-13-2022, 11:12 AM
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Originally Posted By Muzzlrpress⏩
No, we didn't have much in the beginning. Marriage is supposed to be combining into one, so separate wasn't the plan anyway.If things happen and we get divorced, she get's half the money. Simple as that.The plan is forever, but if it doesn't work out, the loss of my family will hit me harder than any monetary loss.
Same for me. Honestly, if it came to that she would deserve half. She's been a full partner in everything we've done.
MFC
post 1661237473 05-13-2022, 11:15 AM
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We've been combined finances since Day 1. However, We were both broke and in debt right out of college. I've managed the finances since Day 1, but my wife is very frugal so it has been pretty easy.
I do my best to keep her informed of what's going on and always have. It's important you share financial goals. Ours have always been to get out of debt so we've kept ourselves pretty broke for the better part of our marriage.
Now, we are financially sound with the only debt is our Mortgage and a Rental home mortgage. Those 2 debts should be paid for in 5 years.

Finances are at the top of the reasons for divorce.
You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.
post 1661237503 05-13-2022, 11:16 AM
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Spend all your money on guns so there's nothing to combine
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post 1661237553 05-13-2022, 11:17 AM
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Originally Posted By RealLifeAlpha⏩
some weird mental defect I have



I take pride in the money I’ve saved and so combining our $ almost seems like it’s watering down or taking away from the financial milestones I want to achieve

Obviously I should reframe those goals as shared goals with the girl (ded fkn Srs)
That's understandable. I don't think that is a defect. It probably has a lot to do with why she wants to be with you. Not the money itself, but the character trait behind it. That can serve you well as a husband and father.

Figure out how you want that part of yourself to operate inside a marriage. It has the potential to make or break it, as evidenced by the fact it has already made substantial contributions to who you are as a bachelor (the man she wants to marry).

Beyond provisioning and security, imo, the best use for money is sharing it. When you can afford everything you want the things money cannot buy-loyalty, sincerity, commitment, optimism, family-are truly priceless.
The closer we approach the uncertainty of life's ending the more we wish to trade all of the things we have acquired in exchange for all of the things we have lost: wealth for youth, knowledge for fresh curiosity, resignation for hope. We'd trade our wisdom for new experiences, but it is wisdom that will teach us that at the end of the road the only new experience is death.
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