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Considering ending a great 9 month relationship over GF's past hookups/ONS
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05-14-2022, 01:42 PM
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#1
- isawthesign
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- isawthesign
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Considering ending a great 9 month relationship over GF's past hookups/ONS
Overall, I have a great relationship with my girlfriend. She's smart and beautiful. She's down to earth and very considerate.
Recently, the topic came up and she told me that she had a phase between the end of high school and the beginning of college where she was engaging in hookups and one night stands. I didn't get the exact number, but probably not as high as it could be because he had two boyfriends in college.
This really disgusted me and left a bad taste in my mouth. I'm having a hard time viewing her and looking at her the same way after she's told me this. Previously, she had told me that she "didn't understand all of these girls out there hooking up randomly on dating apps and how it couldn't be her". She also told me that she only "has sex with guys whom she's in a relationship with and where the direction is headed". Obviously, all of this is very contradictory to her past.
I told her that her actions have made me feel less than and that she broke my heart. I put it into perspective for her that I had courted her the right way. I took her out on formal dates, tried to really get to know her personality, and bought her food and gifts. I spent a lot of time and energy on her birthday and on Valentine's day. We took things relatively slower and didn't have sex until the 3rd or 4th week of knowing each other. Meanwhile in the past, she would meet random guys at parties, who didn't even care about her, swept her off of her feet, took her home, and banged her.
How am I supposed to feel about this as a man? The image of her getting picked up at a party, willingly going home with a strange man, and hooking up with him keeps being replayed in head. It's hard for me to look at her the same.
She cried and told me that I should break up with her so that I can be with a more ideal woman. She said that she was molested and raped when she was younger (which she had already told me) and that this was a way for her to cope and take control of her sexuality on her own terms. She said that people are allowed to change and grow.
On the flipside, I've also had a past where I was hooking up and having one night stands with people. I feel like a hypocrite. I'm not any different. It was fun and exciting. I rationalize my behavior telling myself I could have hooked up with 5000 different women and that I would still be desired. Women like men who are desired by other women. Hooking up as a man is astronomically harder than it is as a woman. To have a high body count as a man, you need to be an athlete, musician, actor, underwear model, or someone with a lot of money, power, and influence.
Recently, the topic came up and she told me that she had a phase between the end of high school and the beginning of college where she was engaging in hookups and one night stands. I didn't get the exact number, but probably not as high as it could be because he had two boyfriends in college.
This really disgusted me and left a bad taste in my mouth. I'm having a hard time viewing her and looking at her the same way after she's told me this. Previously, she had told me that she "didn't understand all of these girls out there hooking up randomly on dating apps and how it couldn't be her". She also told me that she only "has sex with guys whom she's in a relationship with and where the direction is headed". Obviously, all of this is very contradictory to her past.
I told her that her actions have made me feel less than and that she broke my heart. I put it into perspective for her that I had courted her the right way. I took her out on formal dates, tried to really get to know her personality, and bought her food and gifts. I spent a lot of time and energy on her birthday and on Valentine's day. We took things relatively slower and didn't have sex until the 3rd or 4th week of knowing each other. Meanwhile in the past, she would meet random guys at parties, who didn't even care about her, swept her off of her feet, took her home, and banged her.
How am I supposed to feel about this as a man? The image of her getting picked up at a party, willingly going home with a strange man, and hooking up with him keeps being replayed in head. It's hard for me to look at her the same.
She cried and told me that I should break up with her so that I can be with a more ideal woman. She said that she was molested and raped when she was younger (which she had already told me) and that this was a way for her to cope and take control of her sexuality on her own terms. She said that people are allowed to change and grow.
On the flipside, I've also had a past where I was hooking up and having one night stands with people. I feel like a hypocrite. I'm not any different. It was fun and exciting. I rationalize my behavior telling myself I could have hooked up with 5000 different women and that I would still be desired. Women like men who are desired by other women. Hooking up as a man is astronomically harder than it is as a woman. To have a high body count as a man, you need to be an athlete, musician, actor, underwear model, or someone with a lot of money, power, and influence.
05-14-2022, 01:45 PM
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#2
No you shouldn't break up with her. Accept her and love her she has changed!! Also go fist yourself.
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05-14-2022, 01:46 PM
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#3
Did the same poster make the same thread yesterday or was it a different one
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05-14-2022, 01:47 PM
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#4
05-14-2022, 01:56 PM
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#5
- RobParks2M
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- RobParks2M
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If it was fine the first 9 months why does it matter now?
Fitness connoisseur
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05-14-2022, 01:56 PM
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#6
05-14-2022, 01:59 PM
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#7
- DeadlyStriker
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- DeadlyStriker
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So she lied to you for 9 months, told you this, and is now using emotional manipulation to keep you around still?
Move on now. That's not relationship material.
Move on now. That's not relationship material.
05-14-2022, 02:00 PM
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#8
- isawthesign
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Originally Posted By RobParks2M⏩
Because I had assumed what she told me... was how she always was, not the woman she is now.If it was fine the first 9 months why does it matter now?
Previously, she had told me that she "didn't understand all of these girls out there hooking up randomly on dating apps and how it couldn't be her". She also told me that she only "has sex with guys whom she's in a relationship with and where the direction is headed". Obviously, all of this is very contradictory to her past.
05-14-2022, 02:02 PM
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#9
- isawthesign
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- isawthesign
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Originally Posted By DeadlyStriker⏩
She didn't lie to me per se. If anything, she's way too open and overshares **** I probably do not want to know.So she lied to you for 9 months, told you this, and is now using emotional manipulation to keep you around still?
Move on now. That's not relationship material.
Move on now. That's not relationship material.
05-14-2022, 02:06 PM
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#10
- LethalGunz34
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05-14-2022, 02:11 PM
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#11
- AgRyan
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Most girls have a sloot phase, don't count ONS, don't count guys that were too drunk to cum, etc. At least your gf was honest. Grow up and get over it, everyone has a past, if her worst thing is a few ONS in college, not a big deal.
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05-14-2022, 02:13 PM
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#12
- DeadlyStriker
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Originally Posted By isawthesign⏩
What she was saying contradicted her past. That's lying.She didn't lie to me per se. If anything, she's way too open and overshares **** I probably do not want to know.
You have two choices at a 9 month relationship. Stick with her and end up marrying this chick, or dump her and find a good woman. If you stay right now and are unsure of things, your relationship will deteriorate and you will waste a lot more time and energy.
05-14-2022, 02:16 PM
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#13
- DrumsNotDead
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- DrumsNotDead
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pics of gf didn't load, i'll assume she's a he.
05-14-2022, 02:16 PM
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#14
If she made you wait while her past is filled with ONS then she see's you as beta bux.
Tread carefully.
Time to move on, chief.
Tread carefully.
Time to move on, chief.
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05-14-2022, 02:17 PM
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#15
- DolphinPilot
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Originally Posted By Fang2⏩
He sure did.Did the same poster make the same thread yesterday or was it a different one
https://forum.obnoxiousbrutes.com/showt...hp?t=181364553
what a loon
05-14-2022, 02:27 PM
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#16
- isawthesign
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- isawthesign
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Originally Posted By OPGenesis⏩
She didn't make me wait. I waited on my own. Why would you randomly jump into bed for someone you want to date seriously? It's a self fulfilling profency. I was making out with her after a week, and sucking tits/having a hand job at 2 weeks. I theoretically coulda have smashed at the 2nd week mark. In fact, she initiated the sex part.If she made you wait while her past is filled with ONS then she see's you as beta bux.
Tread carefully.
Time to move on, chief.
Tread carefully.
Time to move on, chief.
05-14-2022, 02:40 PM
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#17
- SoutheastBeast1
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She was the best man
"One day I won't be able to lift any more. Not I won't want to lift. I mean physically unable. That day could be decades from now or it could be tomorrow. All I know is that's the day I'll wish I could lift more than ever. The day I'd give anything for one more workout, one more set, or one more cardio session. So go hard and enjoy every workout, every set, every rep. Because one day you will wake up and you will never get it back."
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05-14-2022, 02:46 PM
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#18
- SoutheastBeast1
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I'll actually give helpful advice here even though you sound like a hypocritical d-bag. But here goes...
You said you courted her on formal dates for 3-4 weeks before having sex. Did you actually try to have sex with her on the first date and get shot down? If you didn't how do you know she wouldn't have slept with you? Sounds like you chose to court her for 3-4 weeks. Maybe you had every opportunity to smash on the first date but because you never took a shot like those other guys did you were forced to wait it out. If true, she didn't do anything by making you wait. You made yourself wait and it's not even any type of sign she desired you less or made you work harder at all.
Sounds like you never even took a shot. You chose to view her as someone that needed 3-4 weeks worth of work put in so that's what you did. Your calibration was off, not hers.
If anything she should be mad at you and feel less desired that you didn't try to sleep with her immediately the way other men couldn't contain themselves and hold off for 4 weeks. Imagine how undesirable she must feel from you compared to all those (probably hundreds) other men.
Peace
You said you courted her on formal dates for 3-4 weeks before having sex. Did you actually try to have sex with her on the first date and get shot down? If you didn't how do you know she wouldn't have slept with you? Sounds like you chose to court her for 3-4 weeks. Maybe you had every opportunity to smash on the first date but because you never took a shot like those other guys did you were forced to wait it out. If true, she didn't do anything by making you wait. You made yourself wait and it's not even any type of sign she desired you less or made you work harder at all.
Sounds like you never even took a shot. You chose to view her as someone that needed 3-4 weeks worth of work put in so that's what you did. Your calibration was off, not hers.
If anything she should be mad at you and feel less desired that you didn't try to sleep with her immediately the way other men couldn't contain themselves and hold off for 4 weeks. Imagine how undesirable she must feel from you compared to all those (probably hundreds) other men.
Peace
"One day I won't be able to lift any more. Not I won't want to lift. I mean physically unable. That day could be decades from now or it could be tomorrow. All I know is that's the day I'll wish I could lift more than ever. The day I'd give anything for one more workout, one more set, or one more cardio session. So go hard and enjoy every workout, every set, every rep. Because one day you will wake up and you will never get it back."
-SoutheastBeast1
05-14-2022, 02:52 PM
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#19
- isawthesign
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Originally Posted By SoutheastBeast1⏩
I took my time on my own. It was my chosing.I'll actually give helpful advice here even though you sound like a hypocritical d-bag. But here goes...
You said you courted her on formal dates for 3-4 weeks before having sex. Did you actually try to have sex with her on the first date and get shot down? If you didn't how do you know she wouldn't have slept with you? Sounds like you chose to court her for 3-4 weeks. Maybe you had every opportunity to smash on the first date but because you never took a shot like those other guys did you were forced to wait it out. If true, she didn't do anything by making you wait. You made yourself wait and it's not even any type of sign she desired you less or made you work harder at all.
Sounds like you never even took a shot. You chose to view her as someone that needed 3-4 weeks worth of work put in so that's what you did. Your calibration was off, not hers.
If anything she should be mad at you and feel less desired that you didn't try to sleep with her immediately the way other men couldn't contain themselves and hold off for 4 weeks. Imagine how undesirable she must feel from you compared to all those (probably hundreds) other men.
Peace
You said you courted her on formal dates for 3-4 weeks before having sex. Did you actually try to have sex with her on the first date and get shot down? If you didn't how do you know she wouldn't have slept with you? Sounds like you chose to court her for 3-4 weeks. Maybe you had every opportunity to smash on the first date but because you never took a shot like those other guys did you were forced to wait it out. If true, she didn't do anything by making you wait. You made yourself wait and it's not even any type of sign she desired you less or made you work harder at all.
Sounds like you never even took a shot. You chose to view her as someone that needed 3-4 weeks worth of work put in so that's what you did. Your calibration was off, not hers.
If anything she should be mad at you and feel less desired that you didn't try to sleep with her immediately the way other men couldn't contain themselves and hold off for 4 weeks. Imagine how undesirable she must feel from you compared to all those (probably hundreds) other men.
Peace
No, I never tried to have sex, she never shot me down for my advances. Any advance, I did on my own, was accepted. She initiated sex. I coulda had sex at 2 weeks but decided not to. she initiated sex the first time, did a bunch of fore play. and then she initiated sex the second time, and then it was full of sex. after that, she wants sex from me constantly. every day.
She 100% DID NOT hold out on me. I decided I wanted to get to know someone and not rush things.
"If anything she should be mad at you and feel less desired that you didn't try to sleep with her immediately the way other men couldn't contain themselves and hold off for 4 weeks. Imagine how undesirable she must feel from you compared to all those (probably hundreds) other men." <=== this is false lol. men are pigs and disgusting. men will SMASH anything. men will grab, stalk, harass any1 on the streets.
05-14-2022, 02:52 PM
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#20
- smashedurgfx10
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You aren't a hypocrite
Its different for men and women - there is double standards - but in this case, they aren't wrong. Because they aren't measured against the same benchmark.
Trust your gut. Human evolution is causing you to feel distrust for her. It's natural.
Break up. Srs
Its different for men and women - there is double standards - but in this case, they aren't wrong. Because they aren't measured against the same benchmark.
Trust your gut. Human evolution is causing you to feel distrust for her. It's natural.
Break up. Srs
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05-14-2022, 02:53 PM
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#21
- SoutheastBeast1
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And while we're at it don't turn this into some tale about respect. If that's your argument let's flip this around. Are you saying you actively disrespected the women you had one night stands with then? Cause if waiting 4 weeks was about respecting this one you clearly must have disrespected those others. So if you had to face those others and they slapped you in the face for disrespecting them you would deserve it... right? Wrong. You wouldn't think that. You'd think you both made a choice to sleep on the first date. So don't make this about respect because I guarantee you wouldn't be in here admitting that by hooking up with others immediately you were purposely disrespecting them.
"One day I won't be able to lift any more. Not I won't want to lift. I mean physically unable. That day could be decades from now or it could be tomorrow. All I know is that's the day I'll wish I could lift more than ever. The day I'd give anything for one more workout, one more set, or one more cardio session. So go hard and enjoy every workout, every set, every rep. Because one day you will wake up and you will never get it back."
-SoutheastBeast1
05-14-2022, 02:59 PM
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#22
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05-14-2022, 03:05 PM
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#23
- Ratfish
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The next gal is gonna be an even bigger whore tho
Your only mistake was treating her like a respectable gal initially. That's on you
If she's fun to fuark and not annoying to be around, continue to fuark her
Legit, imagine having a gal with spread legs and a wet pussy laying in front of you begging for your dink but instead of slamming her, you're imagining her taking dink from other dudes
Pretty much the biggest cuck move you can do
Your only mistake was treating her like a respectable gal initially. That's on you
If she's fun to fuark and not annoying to be around, continue to fuark her
Legit, imagine having a gal with spread legs and a wet pussy laying in front of you begging for your dink but instead of slamming her, you're imagining her taking dink from other dudes
Pretty much the biggest cuck move you can do
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05-14-2022, 03:07 PM
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#24
- Pterodactyl314
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Maybe next time you’ll learn not to discuss the topic
See you tomorrow
05-14-2022, 03:19 PM
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#25
- HairyWBush
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she wasn't raped. if she was raped, was the man arrested? dump her dumb trashy ass
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05-14-2022, 03:33 PM
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#26
- elterrible987
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guys all want a girl who can work a cawk like a porn star but had like 3 diks max in their lifetime
take your pick OP you cant have both. Do you want a whore who knows how to work a dick and do all the freaky chit or do you want a boring virgin who only fuks in missionary. You got your self a whore who loves dick, i dont see the big deal
take your pick OP you cant have both. Do you want a whore who knows how to work a dick and do all the freaky chit or do you want a boring virgin who only fuks in missionary. You got your self a whore who loves dick, i dont see the big deal
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